I am hoping that by typing out my woes I will be able to come to a decision on what I should do. In my relationship of 5 1/2 years when it is good it is very very good but when it goes bad it is awful. Currently we do not live together as I have had to move to another town to support youngest sons education. Organising to do this was fraught with difficulty. Lots of sulking and accusations of you don’t love me etc. In the end I just went ahead and did it. My husband is not my son’s father. After I told him that he was an abusive man and I was not going to put up with it any longer he went and got some counselling. It seem to help. Things have been good, not ideal but good until this weekend. We had an argument and one of the things he said to me “when it comes to the important thnings we just can’t communicate about it”. He also said that “you have a really long memory and that he has no doubt that what we were arguing about will come back to haunt him”. The thing is that what we were arguing about I agreed with the decision that had to be made. That was the Friday night. Saturday night I ring him up and after the usual pleasantries he launched into a tirade and said that he was going to this, this and this. He then said that he guessed that there wasn’t much else to talk about and hung up. I was stunned and realised that things haven’t really changed at all. The only difference being that because we have been separated and because we haven’t been living together it has lessened the impact of negative behaviour. Now I know logically I should ring him back and say that I understand that the decision needed to be made and i am not disagreeing with him but I don’t like the way he went about it. This decision is extremly difficult and emotional for me and he has not acknowledged that in any way. I always feel that it is me trying to make right with him. Also I have a chronic health condition and have been told to minimise stress as much as possible. It is all about him and his money. I guess what saddened me most is that I have realised that he hasn’t actually changed at all, it has just been sleeping. I am scheduled to move back with him beginning of next year but now I am wondering if it is going to be right for me. Perhaps this blow up over the weekend is a message to me.
The language of love consists of tender words, touches, hugs, and kisses. When we call a partner things like “sweetheart,” “darling,” or “dear,” we create a special intimate atmosphere. The choice of affectionate names occurs unconsciously and shows how one partner relates to the other, who dominates the relationship, and how well they are balanced.
My wife and I argue about parents and past rubbish. We have had physical fights where I’ve pushed her or grabbed her our communication is zero, she is always on the edge unapproachable and very controlling . I try to help as much as i can and buy her personal gifts to try and make her happy but most of the time i dont even get a thankyou or even a kiss or a smile She has been married before (no children) and keeps in contact with the ex husband aswell as various male ex work associates via sms if I asked to see the SMS she tells me to leave and starts an argument but if I mention an ex she hits the roof , if I talked to other woman or had woman friends she’d hit the roof . I love my son and wife and don’t know what to do I am no angel in all of this but I feel the amount of energy I put in to her I get nothing back until I resent her selfishness and her excuse is always the past or she didnt ask for the gift, shes tired or feels sick and complains that she looks after our son and that all the problems are my fault and a result of the way I talk to her or treated her in the past . She actually put me on to this site so I posted this in hope of some advice. I love my wife but sometimes I look at her and just see a controlling b***h that is so hard to get along with someone where everything is a problem or an issue. Happy to talk about herself all day long but never interested in me. Everything is about what she wants or thinks is right my point of view is worthless or pushed aside and criticized
I find it funny that people say they want someone with a sense of humor. I think almost everyone has a sense of humor it’s just not the SAME sense of humor. People with similar ways of viewing the world are, in my opinion, going to have a similar sense of humor. There are things that I say that my sister finds hilarious that others would not, but we share common background and how we see life, relationships, love, God, etc. are very similar. So being able to take those views and twist them in a way that we both find funny is very easy.
Just for get everything just think about ur kid and become something for ur kid maybe ur husband loves u there might going on something in his mind when his mind is fresh he will come back to u trust him that's all and do something in ur life u can take online classes to become something ur child will be soooo much proud of u if u become something in ur life good luck in ur new life god is with u always
I really want to make our marriage work and i’m doing and will do all it takes to save it.My wife in the meantime is saying that she wants to move out to get her peace of mind & sanity back,she says she wants to do away with all the negatives she has in her mind about me and says i’m irreplaceable.I found out that she told the other man via msg that she is counting her days & looking forward to spending her life with him.
My boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me days before my birthday. He said, he is unhappy and that we know we love each other but we are not inlove anymore. We moved abroad to have a fresh start, cause last year he broke up with me too for 3 months at that time the relationship was in a long distance. But he chase me back and here we are now. Only 7months abroad something a new life, living in together. I asked him is there someone else so many times, at first he said none, 3 weeks after I found out he was already cheating while we were still together and before he broken things up with me with A YOUNGER GIRL at work. The day i confronted them, dont get me wrong, i still get them the respect even they did me wrong, he said he was going to tell me that night but I just knew or had proof already. I was so crashed but i know i still love him, i couldnt even hate him, he was doing her and doing me too. He said he has his reasons why he did that. But for me, you cheated. It shouldve hurt less if you didnt, upto this day he says that he has reasons why he had done such. He already moved out of our apt and chose her infront of me. I can’t explain the feeling i have. I didnt believe it until I saw it, i always tell myself he can’t do that to me but I was wrong. The person that i love so much did it and it hurts like hell.
Things we have never experienced before tend to frighten us. The truth is, infidelity in a marriage is not something most couples want to experience. With that in mind, you may want to know how to stop your husband from having an affair and save your marriage. This is one subject a lot of people with all the education, exposure, status and money do not know how to deal with.
If your formerly even-tempered partner has suddenly developed a short fuse, it’s time to take a hard look at the relationship. For one thing, venting their anger at you like this is not cool and needs to be addressed right away. But as for what it means within the relationship, life coach Kali Rogers told Bustle, "If you notice a shift in patience, that could be a sign your partner isn't happy with your compatibility,” adding, “Short fuses are common when people are unhappy in relationships, and [are] a way for your partner to get pent-up anger out."
Men hate complaining so they are better off saying nothing at all. Perhaps he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings or he hopes he’ll cope with his unhappiness alone. He keeps silent and looks thoughtful. Men tend to think over the current situation that bothers their mind. You may ask what`s going on but I bet he`ll not answer. Give him some time to put his thoughts in order and handle his problems on his own.
So, my question is, where does that leave my daughter and me? I want more than anything for him to be happy and for us to be a happy family, but I worry about the fragility of my daughter's happiness if she is around a perpetually unhappy father. He has told me that she is calms him down...What is my best coarse of action to protect my daughter from unhappiness?
Hello, Kindly help me. I am at the end of the road. I recently married early this year. I dated my husband for 6 yrs long distance. We met when I lived in his country but I moved overseas and we continued the relationship. However, earlier on, about 3 yrs, I received a link from my hubby inviting me to join a certain website. I clicked it and found a picture of my hubby and his many female friends very unappropriately dressed and it showed how many emails he had sent and what he received. He had sent out over 1000 messages. I was broken but he kept assuring me he had never met any of these women but just communicated over internet. I forgave him and then again.
If your husband stops displaying interest in you on a physical and emotional level, this can be a sign that he is unhappy. Consider some of the behavior patterns your husband used to display and compare them to the way things are now. If he no longer initiates intimate relations, or seems uninterested in talking to you about your day, then something has changed.
My husband and I have been together over 20 years, married for 16. We have a 6 year old son. A few days ago I clicked on one of his Instagram followers and saw a beautiful women who had a bunch of lingerie pictures posted. I noticed that my husband had “liked” every single one of them. This really struck a jealousy cord. He hasn’t even “liked” all of my Instagram pictures! I worked through the emotions of insecurity and actually read online about how I should tell him that it bothered me that he liked her pictures. Honestly I didn’t think he wanted to cheat or anything, it just hurt my feelings.
What does your post have to do with having a moody bf? Do you have a bf? I don’t think so because I sense a veiled attempt to relay that you think the guy you mention should dump his gf for you. I wonder what would happen if he did? Maybe you’d be subject to whatever treatment she’s getting, then you’d be sorry. Or at least discover the empathy for gf that you’re lacking now.
First off I love CAPS myself but yours are too much. Use the caps lock in the other direction. With that said are there things going on that you did not speak of in your relationship? Is there sex and romance on a regular basis? Is their intimacy do you hug,cuddle,kiss,scratch and rub each others backs often? Is there physical intimacy and if not when did it stop? Was it ever there?
I have dear friends and family for whom drugs worked wonderfully. They really are completely different in how they experience life, how they interpret events, how they interact with everyone and how they imagine life in the long term. Even temperament is changed because they sleep better and can actually recall positive experience. Without that ability life is just one long endless shit buffet: all the shit you can eat till you die.
Thank you for this. I think that is my problem. I have looked for everything that is wrong. I am going to do my best to hold my high and just keep pushing until I can do better. I am just angry with myself for over looking the signs with I first started dating my husband. I guess I need to forgive myself for believing in him. For giving him the benefit of the doubt.
Right, My husband is very stubborn and hates doctors or anything. So everything's a challenge but I always tend to keep the house tidy even when we are both working. And I always cook because he can't cook lol. But he was the one I married, and I intend on keeping him for the rest of my life. So ladies, don't be afraid of anything because that stopped us in the beginning because I felt ugly to him but you have to learn to let things go in marriage.
These exact thoughts went through my head too. Having been through a bad marriage, where my husband got angry, distant, and resentful any time we hit a rough patch – and as a young, low income family with two children, one with Aspergers and the other one with ADHD (both undiagnosed until they were 12), we had a lot of those – I completely agree. The only way to start a family is to start it with someone you can count on, who will support you and carry their weight, who won’t let you down or check out on you emotionally when things get hard. Otherwise you’d be doing a huge disservice to yourself, your future family, and your future children.
Why is it that in the beginning, we don’t get bothered that much about things that later in marriage drive as crazy? If you think it’s because back then you were unrealistically in love, then remember, how many times did you hear people who lost someone saying how they would give anything to be around things that once were so annoying to them. What is that telling you?
Also sometimes I just want to go out with some girl friends but my hubby gets up set than its transfer to me so I don’t go. He tells me after the big face go but tell your mom to baby sit cuz am not, I tell him go out you too but since he doesn’t have much friends other than his family he expects me to stay home too. If I go do my hair, nails ect it’s like how long, what Are we going to ect. I don everything other than fixing the house that’s all him but anything else pay bills, look for work estimates, buying things ect all me. He just works really hard at work n home but never any time for us alone or for me sometimes I just want to run. I currently work and go to school for psychology which am treating myself first. I just feel like there’s no me time I never get a break. And when he tells me ok let’s go out I just don’t feel like it. I don’t feel attracted to him, I feel like I am missing out on things and am not one to regret because I love my kids and will do that all over again but at the same time I feel like I had to child hood myself having my daughter at 16 and being with my hubby since 14 but married 3 yr’s ago.
Some couples consider the "D" word -- Divorce -- off limits. If you and your husband have never thrown the "D" word around in an argument, but your husband starts to use it more frequently now, this is symptomatic that he is unhappy in the marriage. The fact that he uses the "D" word could indicate that he has given the possibility of divorce some thought, so it is best to confront him on what he is thinking.
If your guy doesn`t text you as much as he usually did, he may be just taking a break. While you shouldn’t make a drama out of this, try to figure out why he needs that break. He may have problems at work, at college or some family issues. If everything is fine yet he doesn’t call or text you during the day, maybe your man isn’t interested in you and your relationship overall.
i had a love marriage, i went against my parents and my husband went against his parents. it has been 4 years. recently he has just stopped caring about me. he fights, says hurtful things, never ever apologises or tries to make up after we have an argument. it is only me who has to keep my anger aside and approach him, always. when he fights, he just leaves me alone for hours without telling me where is he going or when he will be back. sometimes he becomes so angry that i have to cry in his feet to make him stop. he hits himself when he is angry, and very voilently. it scares me. despite repeated requests and promises, he always starts beating himself if i argue with him. these days he even threatens that he will start beating himself if i dont agree to him. although he has never hit me, or cheated on me, its his lack of care for me and my feelings that just kills me. i had an abortion and he never called me from his office to ask if i was ok. even when i was bleeding with abortion, he never offered me help in household chores. when i confronted him about these issues, he said things like, “no no, i love you and all. i cant divorce u. i’ll die if you leave me. i have no one, my parents left me and if u also leave, i have nothing left.”
There are tons of hints that your partner is unhappy, Tina B. Tessina, aka Dr. Romance, psychotherapist and author of Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences , tells Bustle. If they're constantly checking their phone instead of giving you their undivided attention, that is no good. Not paying attention during the conversation is a definite sign, she says, along with disinterest in being together irritability. If you try to broach the subject and they don't want to discuss it, that can be another sign.
When people have exciting news to share or even just need someone to talk to, they typically speed dial the person closest to them. If that used to be your spouse but is now someone else — whether that's a girlfriend or another man — it's a clear sign you're not in the happy marriage you used to be. "Research shows that in healthy marriages, couples celebrate each other's successes. If you're turning to [someone else] first in good times and bad, then you're replacing your husband emotionally and avoiding addressing what isn't working with him," says Dr. Paulette Sherman, psychologist, director of My Dating and Relationship School and author of Dating from the Inside Out. Try putting your husband into your #1 spot again. If you're not getting the support you need — or you don't even want it in the first place — it might be time to sit down and have a serious discussion about your relationship.