Why is it that in the beginning, we don’t get bothered that much about things that later in marriage drive as crazy? If you think it’s because back then you were unrealistically in love, then remember, how many times did you hear people who lost someone saying how they would give anything to be around things that once were so annoying to them. What is that telling you?
What did you do two years ago that you don't do now?...These are the place in life that you must go back and find...When you forget the happiness of your yesterday's that brought you together, problems will set in...This is the secret of true love...Looking at the boy in the man in front of you and not letting boredom of life set in...I believe in each partnership that there has to be a dominant person who sees this happening and doesn't let it fester...Sure it takes two to tango, but one to lead the dance of life....
So, I got married at 18yrs. Right befor my husband join we got married. I am the worst wife ever. Cheated on my husband twice, and in love with the other. Thing is I dont know what to do anymore. I want to go but the guilt.. He doesnt want to let me go. I seriously don’t know what to do, or even what is the first step. I am so pathetic. I told him the first time UI cheated on him which was last summer, he beggged me to stay. Whats wrong with me?

My question to Laurie: Is that All that you are going to say to peter? You have totally thrown in to the sea of forgotten the reason he got to the infidelity in the first place. Maybe you need to go back and review that article. I mean seriously , what the hell could he have done to stop her from acting like that? All too often women want men to be men and understand why he has to go a whole year without sex, sandwhiched with disconnection and disrespect on HER part, mentally beat us for what their fire mothers went thru with our forefathers which none of either sex had nothing to do with or know anything of,(which made life better and women and children more respectable and families STAYED TOGETHER), have freedom to be with other people and show off, and then you wanna make stupid little forums about how to subtly throw the man under the bus when the WOMAN IS THE ONE DOING IT ALL???!! Women have gone too far and its time us husbands had done something about it. You are like my wife; the woman with her husband in walmart with the tight shorts that crawl into her juicy ass that i asked her not to wear because its doing exactly what i didnt want which is other men having their attention GRABBED by it but show me enogh respect only because im there to not yell out DAM!! that ass is juicy, but would approach her if i werent there. and when they turn away her walk changes statements from im sexy to if you dont look at me theres going to be big problems. im going through the same as you peter only difference is the four kids i helpd her raise are not biologically mine; which makes it even harder. And everyday i ask myself the same question as you while these reptilian women get congress’ support to sabotage and rape us of our manhood for a mere laugh.If there was ever an organization to put an end to such debauchery and mutilation of the man child species, you can bet your man panties you can look me up and make me apart of the regime!

I feel broken. My heart into a million pieces my stomach turned inside out. My head throbbing my eyes wet and my face red. My heart thumps for the laughs we shared over silly things. I wish he would just try again. He said he fell out of love with me and I feel like I am abandoned left in the dark while he finds who he wants and I’m stuck. It’s easy to say these things to “make us women feel better” but the truth is that no one moves on from an ex they thought about a future with, it only fades. Will he want me back when he does what he wants? Will he text me one day and say “I miss you”, that’s the unknown. I’m pregnant with his child early on still and I have no idea what to do. Well I do but my heart wants another thing. He doesn’t want it he strongly goes against me going through with the pregnancy and I just want him to say “I need you and I will be here through everything” he said if this ever happened that he would love it and love me and our baby but I guess it was all a lie. I was there for him through anything he did, he never cheated or anything like that but I could tell we were growing apart. I hate starting over whenever that time comes. This has happened before with us but this time feels so real. He’s confused and tells me one thing and then the next couple days tells me another. He wants to talk to other people and have his old life back he described to me. I didn’t do anything wrong I was always there and I loved him through everything. It can’t just be all black and white. I hold back my tears because I don’t want to feel it. My sister and mom are different they tell me he’s not the one for me and just wanted something temporary they do not know I am pregnant, I am 17. I am not the temporary type of person and he said so many things to me just a month ago and then all of a sudden did this. Is there someone else? Did someone catch his eye? Am I not good enough? I just don’t understand


May you experience recovery, healing, peace and love in your relationship. May you find life in your marriage, sparks of love in your soul, and sprouts of health in your emotional, physical, and spiritual relationship with your husband. I pray that God revives your marriage and performs a miracle in your relationship with him. May you find practical, healthy ways to deal with these signs your marriage is over – and may they become a ghost of the past.

Bf of 3 years broke up with me months ago. We are from different countries andoved abroad for a year now moved back to my country. We were supposed to have a fresh start but he broke things off before we moved. We met up a few times and made out a few times after break up. But now he said he will only come back to my life once I move on. It is so difficult to hear things like it and I am still devastated. I am sure I can make things right only if he gives us one more chance but I also know he is far away gone.


You’ve noticed that something doesn’t feel right between you and your husband… He seems different, less present, and maybe doesn’t even seem like the person you married at all these days. Your intuition tells you something is up and you’re realizing that your partner is unhappy. It’s unsettling feeling of course, but once you pinpoint what exactly is bothering him, you’ll be on your way to fixing the problem.
Two things occurred to me while reading your story. One is that you have to remember that your husband is a man, not a little boy. You need to let go of the need to take care of him. He’s not your child, and he will deal with your leaving the best way he knows how. You can’t control how he’ll cope — and it’s not your job to make life as smooth as possible for him! Your job is to make the best decision for you and your marriage. And sometimes the best decisions are the most painful.
If somehow this Five Point Plan fails to work for you, and I can’t imagine how it would, there may be some last ditch tools at your disposal.  For example, introspecting about what it is in you and your upbringing that have gotten you to this place.  Thinking about what you can do better as a partner and team player in the relationship.  Leading with positivity and affection whenever remotely possible. And, of course, couples counseling.

I am sorry that is happening to you. As I read your story, I was compelled to tell you that you need to get out of that relationship. YOU deserve so much better and need to be treated with respect. Walk away. The first step is hard. You need to do this for you or you will be miserable… Trust me. Good luck in your decision but you do deserve a lot better.
Encourage him to share his feelings with you if he tells you there isn't a problem with the relationship. Tell him what you've noticed in his behavior and ask what might be going on in his life you can help him with. If he has any issues and decides to be open about them, this will help ease your mind that the issues aren't with your relationship. All that will be left after that is to give him the space he needs to work through his issues and help him when he needs you.
Yes ill admit after begging and pleading over the last 16 months I know I resent him now! He and I are good looking people we are in our late 20s and I truly am falling out of love with him now. He has been the love of my life for 8 years and he can’t stand the act of making love to me. BTW there is no way he is cheating on me. He says he wants to work on things but he hasn’t tried, then he says I should be trying too. Is that not what I had been doing for over 2 years!!! It’s like he feels it coming to an end but he is brainwashing himself to believe its my fault we don’t have sex
Omar Khayyam said, “A person will like everything, even the flaws, of their beloved, but will be annoyed at the perfection of those whom he does not love.” For a truly loving man, you are always beautiful, even with messy hair and even in your oversized nightgown. He will not notice that you have gained a couple of extra pounds after the winter holidays if you do not say it yourself. But if your man constantly tells you to go to the gym or hints that you need plastic surgery, do not rush to indulge him. It is most likely that it’s not your appearance that doesn’t suit him but you yourself. And even if you lose weight, he will find other faults in you.
"Wife" and "independent woman " seems to be a contradiction BUT..anyway, one point is good to remember(just my opinion) is that if you're too proud (stephanie) or lazy to do these things, there is a woman somewhere watching and waiting. She do these things for him. She is at his job, church golf resort, gym. she's your best friend or even your relative. I think women have an instinctive way to tell that a man isn't being taken care of at home. Get rid of pride and take care of your man.
May you experience recovery, healing, peace and love in your relationship. May you find life in your marriage, sparks of love in your soul, and sprouts of health in your emotional, physical, and spiritual relationship with your husband. I pray that God revives your marriage and performs a miracle in your relationship with him. May you find practical, healthy ways to deal with these signs your marriage is over – and may they become a ghost of the past.

When your husband comes home from a day at work, do you give him a warm welcome, or do you greet him with a list of things that he didn’t do or that he didn’t do right? You both have every right to feel overwhelmed and tired from life’s stressors, but remember: You’re in a partnership and you should both be lifting each other up. By doing the opposite, you suck the energy out of the relationship and out of the bond between you.
I have asked him numerous times to go to marriage counseling, even telling him once that I thought he should go to anger management. Sadly, he has no respect for therapy or therapists in general...the derogatory comments make me sad. Since I majored in Psych and Education, I asked him what he respects about me, since he makes fun of my Educ background and he doesn't believe in or respect Psych. He told me he respects the way I raise our daughter and my baking. During that discussion, I told him I was going to go to counseling one way or another. We had a stare-down and he asked me why I thought I needed to go. I told him I just did. I emailed him a passage on psychotherapy and wrote: You asked me why go to counseling, here are some thoughts. I will be making an appointment to go hopefully this week and would love it if you want to join me, but understand if you don't want to. If nothing else, I want to get my ducks in a row so I can raise our daughter in the best way possible! Let me know if you'd like to come with me...A week ago, I told him I went to my first counseling session and I'd love it if you want to join me for the next one. He said, Haven't we already had this conversation? I said, yes. I just wanted to let you know that I went. He said, Great. What's this going to cost us? I then told him I had 5 free sessions and then we'd have to pay, then I chatted with our daughter and that was the end of that...
My husband also told me that he wasn’t happy in our marriage.  Unfortunately, I took no action and didn’t take this all that seriously.  As a result, we separated and almost divorced.  I wish I had handled it differently because I had a lot of catching up to do.  Luckily, I finally stumbled upon some strategies that worked.  If it helps, you can read the whole story on my blog http://isavedmymarriage.com

When you sit down with your husband to tell him you are unhappy, prepare for a potentially long conversation – you need to share your feelings and you need to hear your husband's perspective. Try to choose a time when you are unlikely to be interrupted by work, family or other obligations. While it's hard to predict how the conversation will go, it's a talk experts say should happen sooner than later.
For some reason your roommate—er, life partner—has been following you around all night, when all you want is to finish up the evening's menial tasks so that you can commune with your true passion (i.e., DVR'd episodes of Game of Thrones), tapping you on the shoulder and asking you inane questions about electric toothbrushes and dry cleaning and RSVPs. Is he trying to be irritating? I'm guessing that no, he is not trying. (It comes naturally! Hey-oh!) Chances are he's hungry for a little attention, and is therefore resorting to the grown-up's version of sleeve-tugging. Give it to him—not only will you be nurturing your relationship, but you'll increase your chances of getting a foot rub while you catch up with the Lannisters.
Scientists have proved that a man is able to listen to a woman attentively for only 6 minutes. That’s why, ladies, the next time you plan to have a conversation with your beloved, keep it short. The topics on which it is very difficult for a man to concentrate are unfamiliar people, celebrities, shopping, fashion, and diets. If possible, it’s best to discuss these types of things with your friends.

There are tons of hints that your partner is unhappy, Tina B. Tessina, aka Dr. Romance, psychotherapist and author of Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences , tells Bustle. If they're constantly checking their phone instead of giving you their undivided attention, that is no good. Not paying attention during the conversation is a definite sign, she says, along with disinterest in being together irritability. If you try to broach the subject and they don't want to discuss it, that can be another sign.
And yet, if a man sees that something is very important to you, he will make an effort to listen to you attentively, even if this topic is completely uninteresting to him. When he loves you, he won’t leave you without attention. But if he keeps changing the topic or runs away using different excuses whenever you try to talk, most likely, your worries do not bother him. Accordingly, he is not going to participate in the resolution of any issues that may come up during the relationship.
But if you look at Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, possessions are at the bottom. We need certain things to survive - food, shelter, clothing, but after that possessions don't actually increase the meaningfulness of our lives, and we need to start looking elsewhere: friendships, intimacy, and goals that serve a greater good beyond our own self interest.
Me and my boyfriend is going this right but he don’t want me to but he unhappy with himself and us then he said it because it don’t have nothing but I’m doing everything I can to get on my feet to help that same way so it not doing all him self but I don’t help with what lil money I do get… I just don’t understand what going it almost been two years for us n alot has happen but was in the first year….. Need some help to save it…..
I have been married for five years, with my husband for twelve years. I’m not really sure if we should stay together or not. Last year I left him for three months then came back and now he says “he is just waiting for me to leave again”. We have been having the same fights for 12 years. They are- I don’t clean the house the way he thinks I should and I don’t have sex with him enough. I am not happy in our marriage but I feel like I’m stuck. We have a 10 year old and twin 3 years olds, I don’t have a job or a place to go. I have no friends and I can’t stay with my mom(she has her own issues). Everything inside me is screaming that in order for me to be happy I have to get away from this marriage, but I feel like I can’t. I’m scared that I will not be able to take care of my kids. I am also afraid that he won’t let me take the kids. He has never been physically abusive but recently when we start arguing he threatens that he will get violent with me, so now I’m scared of that too. I feel like I keep coming up with reasons not to leave. I know that it will be hard but how do you leave someone and keep your sanity at the same time?
2. Respect yourself: Sometimes negligence is the issue, but other times we get too far on the other end of the spectrum. Putting your partner first 24/7 is a great way to burn yourself out and kill the passion in your relationship. Don’t be a doormat, and don’t let yourself go trying to do everything for him. Confidence is attractive, and taking care of yourself is a must.
I have to agree with John — he brings up a good point. How did it take OP over a year to figure out that her boyfriend isn’t as funny as she’d like him to be? Why was unfunny okay for a year and is suddenly a deal-breaker now? Either way, like a few people said above, when in doubt, don’t. If, for whatever reason, OP is having doubts about her future with the guy, then maybe they don’t have a future. It’s just that, “he’s not funny” sounds like an excuse in this particular case.
If your guy doesn`t text you as much as he usually did, he may be just taking a break. While you shouldn’t make a drama out of this, try to figure out why he needs that break. He may have problems at work, at college or some family issues. If everything is fine yet he doesn’t call or text you during the day, maybe your man isn’t interested in you and your relationship overall.
Try your hardest to focus only on the negative parts of the marriage.  I am sure there were red flags from Day 1.  Of course, there was also the time he drove an hour to meet you for a half hour, or sent you that funny email, or when he first told you he loved you.  But those things pale in comparison to all the crappy stunts he’s pulled, so do your best to erase the positive incidents from your memory entirely.  What good could it do to lead with the positives anyway?  You’re trying to get through to him here, and the best way is to emphasize what a complete mistake this marriage was in the first place.  Wait till you see how hard he tries to fix things once you’ve told him they are entirely unsalvageable!

Christine, I think you are mixing apples with oranges on this one.  It is not that the person has a flaw, physical or mental, it is that they are the ones responsible for seeking their own treatment.  I do not think telling someone you love “you need to get help with this because it is destroying us” is abandoning anyone.  It is asking them to take responsibility for their own health and well being.  When we are dealing with adults, we cannot “get them to a doctor”.  We can suggest, we can recommend, we can even beg or plead….but we cannot “make” them do anything. 


Iam also in the same boat , my husband told me few days before that he loves me but not in love with me . It's killing me from inside , he never made me realised that he is not happy with me , I always believed he loves me so much , I was completely satisfied with my marriage .iam very broken now , don't know what will happen in future , I asked him if he has some affair , but he is not telling me anything . I love him so much , it's shocking to hear all this from him .
However surely this is of negligible importance when the subject matter is our lives. It is not an exam, judgement is irrelevant. There are many inaccuracies possibly due to technological issues, poor use of the English language etcetera, however I am sure people are on this site to find help with life issues not their punctuation, grammar or vocabulary. I would rather see inaccuracies than people not participating due to feelings of inadequacies in their written skills.
Good day everybody my name is Mrs Caroline Gilli am here to share with you my life experience on how a great man called Dr Alexzander saved me and my marriage.I have been Married & Barren for for 5 years i had no child. i have never been pregnant i was a subject of laughter from my Friends & neighbors, i almost lost my marriage because of this issue.i was so confused that i did not know what to do until i came across this great Dr online and i contacted him at once i was scared weather it was going to work because i never believed things like this before, so i decided to give it a try and i did all what Dr Alexzander asked of me and today to my greatest surprise i took in the first time and i gave birth to a bouncing baby boy and now my marriage that was about crashing before is now restored.my husband now love and want me better, Am so happy for everything that have been happening in my life since i met this Dr Alexzander.
Hi Henry, thanks for your thoughts. You asked: ” Where is the part about “happy husband” in this saying?” First, “happy wife, happy life” is an invention created to confuse you. It’s not true and it’s a unhealthy perspective for both parties. Therefore, there is no “happy husband” equivalent except for “Happy man, happy husband.” Relationships tends to self-destruct when one or the other partner puts the responsibility for their happiness on the other. It’s an impossible task, but we try anyway. “If you REALLY loved me you would find a way to make me happy”. Happiness is not given… Read more »
The Magic of Intimacy: Intimacy brings lovers together and renders us vulnerable. When we are intimate, we feel empowered but we’re also at the mercy of the one we love. Intimacy evokes a powerful mix of emotions – we feel vulnerable, yet valued and embraced. When you experience intimacy, it acts like a field in the world of physics, where all the rules of regular relationships change.
We are brought up with the expectation that men are supposed and expected to be pursuers. Not every woman will go after a man who “goes to the mountain like a lion” to paraphrase DJ (from another discussion). Or rather, not every man will have a woman following him there. So we just disqualify ourselves from the available gene pool. I think that “self-reliance” mostly is about the definition we put in the word. Not ever listening to advice or suggestions, and/or bulldozing other people for having different opinions, is also forms of self-reliance. Sure, I don’t need a spouse… Read more »
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