My husband has been unfaithful. I learned last year that he was. He says he love me and want our marriage but, he is still with his mistress & denies it. We have never had locked phones. And I have never seen his phone down in a year. It’s always on him. He lies & the cheated has affected his company because of the lack of work. I have no clue what to do. He never shows me any different. Other that I don’t make him feel special, but I do anything he asked. Now I am at the last rope. We have 3 young children & i am searching for work incase of the worse. Does anyone have any advice. Plus he says he depressed. And need me, but it’s the same thing over & over.
me and my husband got married in 2010, after we met in 2009 we got engaged pretty fast but he was the perfect guy he did everything then he changed after a couple months, I try to be the perfect wife but I find myself sometimes paying all the bills all the house work and my daughter the outside work.he become insensitive and says disrepectful comments bout me to my kids.a woman emailed me over facebook and called me and a few months later my kids found out he was talking to another woman and I told him about it he said he wasnt then a few months later I find pics and sexual texts from his ex now he says he’ll change but hasnt an continues to talk to ex and be disrespectful I want to be with him but from what i understand he’s been lik this with every woman he’s been with I continually forgive him in hopes he’ll change for me lik I for him. I dont kno what to do. Should I leave him??
If you're connected and intimate with your partner, you’re going to notice when something is off-track. There is always a caring way to address this: Without being defensive or combative, say, “I’ve noticed you seem a little off. What’s happening for you?” Showing concern and stating what you see happening may be just the thing to get whatever is causing the unhappiness out into the open. You’re basically creating a safe environment for your partner to share.
But sometimes, things take a turn and all of that reassurance and security can go out the door. If something seems off, that's an issue. Your significant other is supposed to love you and make that clear with communication and action. You shouldn't be up at night wondering if your partner actually likes you or you wasted all of those highly-inspired pins on the wrong person.
Hi. I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost two years. We’ve always been having ups and downs but always come out on the other side. I think he is an amazing person and I admire him a lot. We both have very strong personalities and this is really our first adult relationship. I’ve grown to love him. A lot. In spite of all our issues. I wouldn’t want him out of my life. Since recently he’s been miserable to me. Always agitated and frustrated. When I confronted him about it he said hes hurt by all our arguments and he sees that when he looks at me. This makes me very sad. I work with him and I can’t imagine going to work everyday and working side by side with him and he feels this way. He said he feels like he’s in relationship with someone he doesn’t want… I don’t know him like this and I have no clue what to do. I want to save my relationship and help him to forgive me. I do love him. And I don’t want to lose him. I don’t know if I’ve been my best and fairest with him. And I feel guilty when I know I’ve hurt him. I’ve loved the life I’ve had with him and I truly can’t stand to see him miserable. I want to do something about it. I treasure him and I want to build back our relationship. Please help me
What option seems to make the most sense to you? You’re too young to give up on your life, and a chance at being happy and fulfilled! You need to find energy and enthusiasm to keep going. The world needs people like you to come alive and participate. You can find things that make you happy and fulfilled outside your marriage — and you will brighter other people’s lives at the same time.
As the old saying goes, labels are for soup cans. That's true, but if you started a relationship with the goal of becoming a couple, including the dreaded labels like "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" or "wife" or "husband," and communicated that much from the start, then your significant other should be ready to at least discuss why or why not they want to be labeled as such.
Sadly my story is truly bizarre 3 years ago my hubby was seeing hooker he denied it I caught him meeting one at the gas station when he said he had, to be there at one one oclock I thought that was suspicious so I insisted on going with him a very attractive blonde came running to the right at one oclock when see saw me she turned on her heal he let on as if nothing was wrong few weeks I was out pretty sure saw him with the same blonde in our car . he denied it again we went to counselor and even the counselor told him it was pretty dam suspicious he still denied it then he got very ill at the hospital it was discovered he had hepc that had gone into livercancer,still he wouldn,t admit he passed away the last thing he did was call for her I guess her name was Kathy no one knew any one by that name… So now I have to life with burned in my heart and memories the resentment the anger grief he was only with me because of security money I am sure our kids thought he was the greatest man so does everyone else its a nightmare ..Like the counselor said selfishness and most likely sex addiction …….its hell after7mths I think I will make it but my trust is gone…since seen the same women working the streets..
But if we all get out of our own egos for a little bit and stop defending our worldviews, I ask you: if you had a choice between a partner who was anxious/moody/depressed and one who wasn’t, why would you choose anxious/moody/depressed? When I was feeling that way, believe me, I felt chagrined when women would pull away from me. But now that I’m on the other side, I can completely understand why they did.
Hey, ive been married for not even two months now and me and my wife are already seperated due to the temper i have and the possesiveness and jelousy i have. The reason i am possesiveness is that ive seen her talk to her exes all the time and exes to me are a huge red flag, it stopped after we got married and are now expecting a baby, but since then she never would do anything i wanted and i would start to get agitated until one day i blew up. Her mother talked her into making me leave the house and be without communication with her. Everytime i try to communicate with her, she says it makes her sick to even talk to me. I found out secretly that she has been talking to an ex on facebook since we split up and telling him that she doesnt want it to work and if hes coming home on august. I want this to work and i know i need to change, but how do i get her to see that when she doesnt believe me, or even cares to put any effort in it
“For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage. So then, if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress, even though she marries another man.” Romans 7:2-3
During that time I suspected many times that he was also seeing other women. I found snippits of evidence and I almost left him a few times but he always had an explanation for what I’d found and swore he was telling the truth. He would even get angry that I would accuse him. I told myself that even if there was no proof, next time there was even a whisper of something dodgy I would leave. Everything seemed ok for a couple of years so we got married. I thought I would be more secure with him once we got married, and then we had a baby and I started to feel even more like things were going right … until that familiar feeling that something was wrong returned … followed by a new secret password on his computer and a constantly locked shed. I KNEW something was wrong but I couldn’t find any evidence. When I demanded him to unlock the shed or remove the password he got furious and said that I was in the wrong to snoop. I remembered my vow to myself but now I had a son to think about.
Be the woman he knows sitting at home on the couch. This doesn't mean you need to belch in public or walk around in your sweatpants all the time. This just means you don't have to put up a front for the ladies in your child's class or act snotty in front of his friends. You are who he fell in love with, so you should never feel like you have to be someone else. Be respectful and courteous when you are both in public, but don't try to hide who you are. Having that strong sense of self and high levels of self-confidence are what made him attracted to you in the first place.
If your partner is suddenly argumentative, it might be due to excessive stress at work, or a side effect of their depression or anxiety. But it could also be due to their unhappiness. "When a partner is unhappy and can’t find a way out of the relationship, they will turn to creating a problem that isn’t there," relationship expert Lori Bizzoco tells Bustle. "Your partner may try picking fights over little things and making a big deal out of them."
I’m glad to see how marriage has evolved. It used to be much more transactional — happening principally to foster economic benefits or social standings or to produce children — but nowadays people typically choose to commit themselves legally to each other for far more noble goals. More and more people marry with the intention of experiencing lasting love and companionship.
My husband and I have been living together for fourteen years and married for the last five years. We have a lovely, happy three year old son together who we both love very much. Looking at the surface of things we should be a happy couple – that is what everybody thinks. We have always had this way with eachother, a matched humour I guess – unfortunately its not enogh to bond the tears between us anymore.
Give yourself time to grieve the idea that your boyfriend doesn’t love you or want you in his life anymore. It’s a huge, shocking blow. Don’t gloss over your disappointment, heartache, grief, pain, sadness, and fear. What helps me heal from terrible loss is writing. I write to express my pain. Other women turn to art, music, hiking in the woods or snow, swimming, decluttering the house, or traveling. Even reading can be an effective way to grieve the loss of a boyfriend’s love.
Well it is of no surprise the outright majority will be females who have been wronged by males. I myself am in a different circumstance. I have tried to push ahead in life with my relationship, for the pure fact that we have two children and it seems to be the morally right and socially acceptable thing to do. However, I am ending it….for the pure fact that I do not love this woman as one who needs a partner they can trust, should. It is to no fault of her own, she could not see what the relationship needed, and had instead focused on what articles like this had listed. Communication is paramount, but as much as everyone thinks they know, it is a two way street and listening is skill that we as humans must learn.
Relationships are delicate, complex, and always changing. Some marriages last 70 years, some last 72 days (looking at you, Kim)—and while neither of those options is necessarily right or wrong, most people enter a relationship hoping it will last a long time, if not a lifetime. There is no one-size-fits-all secret to a lasting, happy, and faithful relationship, but there are some general guidelines.
Me and my boyfriend have been going out fpr 4 years and he broke up with me because im to contolling because he has asked me for space in the past but i didnt give it to him because i was afraid.of loosing him and clingy. I love him alot and dont want to loose him but he tells me he doesnt want me to fight for him because its to late fot that! He stood me up and told.me he doesnt want to see me anymore and everything between us is over☹️ we haven't had "no" contact for the past week. I dont kmow how to get him back amd i definitly dont want to loose him because i love him& been through so much with him already :/
Now, it must be said: If you really make it your job to make your partner happy and he (or she) exploits your efforts or never truly reciprocates — never meeting your love with love — you may be in a deal breaker scenario. Despite your best efforts, you may be with someone who is unable or unwilling to love you back and you will probably need to terminate the relationship.
There are times when I feel so miserable and powerless. He says all the right things when he’s himself. He will tell me I am beautiful, he loves me, his heart beats for me, and how he wants us to get past this area in life where we don’t agree on anything. I don’t think the problem is so much that we don’t agree as I do he won’t let that stand. He thinks if he talks to me long enough, whatever the issue, I will see it his way. When that doesn’t happen, he gets more angry. Then I am stupid, naive, and an idiot that can’t see past the end of my nose.
i have been married for a year and we have a 18 month old son together. in the past my husband had been talking to his ex and he had her phone number he had also been talking to girls saying he would rather be with them then making money for his family and he kept telling girls how beautiful they are but he wasnt telling me that i was pretty. we had signed divorce papers and i kissed a coworker which i told him about and i apologised many times he brings it up a lot. recently i had an ectopic pregnancy and that caused some stress and while i had it he shoved me and i fell and broke a pack and play and got injured the police were called and we didnt see eachother for a week we decided to stay together but we argue all the time and when hes not at work which is 5 hours a day he is always sleeping or on facebook or watching tv we barely even speak and he barely spends time with me or our son. i dont know what to do anymore ive told him how i feel but nothing changes.
Our relationship had really hid the skids once we got married and work for him took over. I tried to write him a letter to let him know how much his critically comments were hurting me and taking over my life and self esteem, he grabbed the letter and said, “I dont have time for your shit” I was really depressed at the time and drinking alot which he hated. Worst of all , he didnt really care that A: I was upset and B: I was no coping to look after our child. He told me one day he hated me so much he could punch me in the face. He has aggression and childhood issues, which i was always sympathetic for as well as my family. As our 2 year anniversary for our wedding came around which he didnt want to spend with me i decided to go away and it changed my life. I felt a sense of freedom and relief when i got home and ended my marriage. My child welcomed the fact, although only young sensed the tension. I have moved out but my husband will not let go and will do anything to keep us together. This has been a hard and abusive time. We had tried counselling in the past which I literally had to drag him too, since then he has vowed to change and do anything it takes to keep our family together. I am worried that illl fall into his charms. We have a ridiculous sex life even when we hate each other its full on passion, but thats not enough for the emotional hole i had when with him. Should we give full on counselling a go, or should i cut the ties and move onto a stable loving person???? INDIA
Loyalty to your partner is a tricky issue, especially when they show weakness. Humans are not so far removed from the laws of the jungle. The best I can say is to treat others the way you want to be treated. Don’t be a self sacrificing altruist if that is not who you are or who you present yourself to be. That should lessen the guilt. That said, I’d feel depressed if I abandoned someone like that. And later in life, if I were to fall into similiar circumstances, I might experience an intense insecurity or paranoia about having my partner do that to me. It might add to my moodiness, further exacerbating the situation until the prophecy is self fulfilled. That would be karma transmitting my suffering. We live in a society. We share the consequences of everyone’s actions. I don’t understand it when people say that happiness is an individual responsibility.
It takes patience to develop a strong relationship, and if you pressure your boyfriend to move in together or get engaged, chances are he will feel like you’re forcing him. It’s best to let things happen naturally and realize that if you get along, that’s all that matters and if you don’t get along, moving in together isn’t going to solve that problem.
My bf and I have been fighting quite a bit lately. We both are tired of it. But I try and talk to him about our problems so our relationship gets better but he isn’t one to communicate about that. Which only makes it harder to work things out. He then said that he’s not happy with me because all I do is fight with him. Which I do because he never talks about our problems like I said earlier. I then asked why he is with me and he said because he hopes I grow up (as in me not fighting with him) and because he loves me. I just don’t know why he would be with me but not be happy. I then text him this morning telling him that if he’s not happy then break up with me. And then he goes on saying he never said he wasn’t happy.ugh guys can be so confusing.
I am the woman who loved him, supported him, and put up with him for well over two years. I am the woman who kept coming back after he broke up with me. I am the woman who compensated and paid for everything because he couldn’t get a job. I am the woman who was there for him 24/7. His family, of course, was on the other side of the country. One of his siblings did say “we have always known there was something off about him, thank you for loving him enough to figure it out”, but then he was bullied by the rest of the family. So there was zero support coming from anyone.
I have been married for 51 years. I have 3 children and 4 beautiful grandsons. I have worked from the time I have been 5 and went in business for myself after quitting school at 16 and through through the years made a fine living and gave my family what I never had,spoiling them for the most part. When things changed was prior to having our children after marriage, by the way my wife and I courted for 3 years and never had sex. My wife is a very pretty women then and now at 68. I use to drink at times and that would cause to her to say I was drunk weather I had one drink or 10. My goal in life has always been to provide for my family and now to make sure that when I die my wife will be able to live without having to work, and that is place with a secure income not a lot but one she will live a decent life.
I think a lot of guys get to this point simply via time. Time passes, everything seems to stay the same, not getting better but not getting worse. And, then something minor and seemingly insignificant happens: your favorite pair of pants are now too tight, someone at work whom you like or crush on makes a joke about your bald spot, you get a younger boss or get passed over for a promotion. You see my point?
IVE BEEN MARRIED FOR SIX YEARS NOW AND ALL THROUGH THIS TIME MY HUSBAND HAS A MARRIED FEMALE FRIEND WITH WHOM HE KEEPS RUNNING TO HE TELLS HER EVERY THING THAT IS GOING OFF IN OUT MARRAIGE HE HAS TOOK HER SIDE ALL THE TIME WHEN WE ARGUE AND SAY THAT IF HE HAS TO MAKE A CHOICE HE WILL CHOOSE HER EVERY TIME ,I SPEND ALL MY TIME SAT IN SPARE ROOM WIL MY COMPUTER WHEN HE IN THE HOME AS HE SCARES ME ,HE HAS HIT ME AND MADE ME BLACK AND BLUE IM NOW SIXTY AND FEEL THAT I CAN NOT FIGHT FOR HIS AFFECTIONS ANY MORE I WANT IT TO ALL END BUT HE CAN OR WONT ACKNOWLEGE THIS IT IS MY HOUSE AND IM MADE TO FEEL LIKE A LODGER IN IT EACH TIME I TELL HIM ITS OVER HE GIVES ME THE LITTLE BOY LOST THEN I START FEELING GUILTY PLUS HIS FAMILY START BECOMING ABUSIVE WITH ME HIS MOTHER INCLUDE HOW DO I GET OUT OFF THIS ONE AS THERE WILL ALWAYS BE THREE PEOPLE IN THIS MARRIAGE
It's difficult to say what is going on with your husband based on what you have posted here. Your husband's response could mean a lot of things and it is very important that you get to the bottom of this. I'm not trying to sound condescending, honestly...it's just that I have been in almost the exact same situation as you...a little over a year ago. My original post would have sounded very similar to yours here.
My boyfriend told me is isn't happy, that things aren't the same between us. He says I'm not fun anymore and that I'm more serious now and I don't hold on a conversation with him like I use to. I'm going through some things, I lost my job things at home aren't good. I don't know what to do, he says he wants to me with me and he loves me and is in love with me. Should I give him space. I cant imagine losing him, he means everything to me . I want to change, I don't want to lose him and what we .
I’m Indian and Married to Romanian (Girl). We used to work in same company but on different locations and fall in love, it was kind of distance relationship..but something unbelievable. Almost 6 months we talked like this way and then decided to marry..She reached to India and we married. As our decision was to stay in Romania I accompany her there…In the beginning things were beautiful but gradually sweet turned in to sour…I take all responsibility as I was scared for my career…cause of global economy downfall I could get no job in Romania. Whenever I try talked about on this matter to my wife she got upset….she always said there are many people jobless don’t worry I am with you..but my esteem was not allowing me to sit back and peruse life on my wife’s salary…my biggest frustration not was, I have no job but I could do nothing for her….whenever we used to go out I could buy nothing for her and I always felt so bad, being a husband I was not able to do what I need to (take care of her by all means) it pinched me always…..
Me and my husband have been together for almost five years but we have only been married for 6 months. We have a 3 year old and a newborn together. For some reason this pregnancy that I just recently went throuh was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It seems like right when I got pregnant and right when we got married he just started going out and like always hunting all of a sudden when I needed him the most. Everything I say seems to be wrong, he gets defensive no matter what it’s like everyone is out to get him but really everyone is just trying to help him. He drinks every single day and thinks he has no problem, my daughter loves him dearly but I just think I am only staying here for her sake and I know that I should be happy too. I am not sexuall attracted to him what so ever anymore because all he ever does is drink beer and not work half the time and never helps with anything around the house. I am just so done with it all and eveyone I know thinks that I am crazy for even being here at all anymore. I am just so scared of raising two kids on my own because I just feel like I will fail them and it is not their fault that their father doesn’t want to do the right thing and that’s why I am so scared and confuse when it comes to making that final decision. Ugh it is just so hard I am in my twenties and just feel so helpless!!!!
I’ve been with my guy for a few years. His is my best friend, and I can honestly say I love him. Lately I haven’t felt happy. We are in a long distance relationship, and the last few times I got to see him I was not as excited as I was in the past. The thought of breaking up with him makes me feel sick sometimes, and the explaining to everyone would be exhausting. I look at my siblings and see how happy they are with their significant others. Sometimes I feel like I don’t look at my guy the way I see other couples look at each other.
You hear a lot of women with celebrity status, bank executives, accountants and top managers struggling to save their marriage and stop a lover's rejection with amazing difficulty. Now, everyone can learn from the wisdom and honest research of others on how to stop a husband from having an affair and build a long lasting and happy marriage you and everyone will be proud of.
He'd started to act grumpy again and we talked about it, but he said he had no time to see a counselor. Then Sunday he said he was going to hang with a buddy. I don't know why, but I got a really bad feeling, so I drove to where he said he was and he wasn't there. I called him and he made up a lie, and then another one and another one. He was willing to drive drunk to try and cover up what he was doing even. I went home and he went home. He cried and said he'd been doing coke that day and didn't want me to know. He said he had lied about it several times lately and felt terrible.
"A change in habits is one of the first signs of relationship issues. It can indicate unhappiness, personal stress, even cheating — but it could also indicate a number of other things, so don't jump to conclusions. If there are any significant changes, discuss them with your partner to determine what's behind them." —Sarah E. Clark, licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship expert, and co-founder of Idealationship
Hello my friend. It seems that social skills seem to be a problem with many people. I used to have those problems. The truth is that they are truly “skills”. You have to build confidence around approaching others and general conversation. This can be done with a simple excersise: next time you go on the street, say hello to every person that you see. It may be nerve racking at first, but after a while, it will ease your overall anxiety around approaching people. I highly recommend reading “how to win friends and influence people by dale Carnegie” if you… Read more »