Absolutely right, Arakiba. And our lack of emotional confidence shows up in many ways and places. It seems to be most triggered in our intimate relationships where we’re not getting our most urgent needs met. The specific ways men and women express that pain are very, very different. I teach men how to break through that pain and create what they want instead.
In all fairness I have an anger problem too so this is not all his fault. Plus I know I can be really mean especially when reminded of my past so I am by no means innocent in this fiasco marriage. What steps should hubby and I take to improve our marriage? I really do love him but I want my needs to get met as well. My mom even said that the way she sees our relationship is that everything is always about him. He is the type of person that when I say I’m feeling bad he says me too but I feel worse than you. I was throwing up in the bathroom and he was amused and ignored me. I also had a bad flu and he told me to go make pizzas. There is so much more but this post has been long enough. He has good qualities too so what should I do? Sorry for the long post and thanks. Oh and he is a lot older than me if that helps.

As a matter of fact he almost has. I mean, read your own words, ” Am just devastated. What is wrong with me? Am I not beautiful enough?”. Self esteem issues dear. Yours is at a dangerously low level and he knows it. He’s using it against you. You need to dump that weasel and start working on your self esteem. Make sure that it doesn’t depend on how other people treat you. Once you achieve that no one will ever play you like this again and get away with it.


If you want to stop your husband from cheating, you must devise a good plan for your marriage. No marriage can succeed without a plan. Building a marriage is like building a house; you must have a burning desire to make it work. You need to develop a plan for the marriage and every day sit down with your spouse and show him your plan. During this time, let him see the cost involved in building a successful marriage, taking care of the home and the kid's education. Soon, your husband will realize the cost of his cheating and will discover it is not worthy to be spending money and time outside on strange women when the one he is married to is a better planner and organizer.
First of all, I would like to say he isn’t this way very often but when he is, it’s a little scary. Un-nerving. He becomes volatile very quickly. And you never know if he’s going to be that way when you open the door or his normal self. It’s exhausting. I can’t relax, I feel like I have to be on constant guard. He complains that we don’t have sex enough, that I don’t initiate it enough, that when he gets that way, all I have to do is take him to the bedroom. I thought at first that he was kidding. I think he is angry at me but he strikes out (harsh words) at the kids to me because he knows it gets to me.

I never believed in miracle until this happened to me recently and I am sharing this publicly with everyone because I know there are many people who might be in the same position I was and here it goes or any kind of difficulties, My wife has been separated from me for about 1 year plus and move in with another man while filing for divorce. Honestly I can't deny that I truly love, miss her and can't do without her in my life, I feel emptied after she left me and being away from her was not okay for me at all but to my luck . I was introduced to this man whom I was made to understand he can make my wife come back to me and continue to live the way we used to live together before, At first I have a very doubting mind but decided to give it a trial, I explained to this man about my wife, he did what he have to do and assured me my wife will be back to me within the next 7 days and to my surprise, I received a call from her on the third day and we are finally back together and moved in back with me on the fifth day and she dismissed the divorce in court and we are finally living happily back together. This man has really made a positive impact in my life and I have promised to promote and advertise his sense of humor about this and will surely help you out especially made to bring back your love who is with some one else, or who has left you and don’t want to be back to you and you can as well explain any form of problem or challenges you might be facing in life. You can get in touch with him via his email address puresolution4u@gmail.com or text him on (805) 317-6862 and I assure, you are going to praise me later, If you are facing any kind of difficulty, I oblige you to give this man a trial and you won't regret it.
It turns out that even monkeys are able to feel jealous of their partners around other males. Jealousy arose in the course of evolution as a way to maintain the integrity of the couple. A man is wired so that subconsciously he wants to declare his rights to a woman and to be the only “owner” of her beauty. Therefore, it is quite natural that your man starts to get nervous when someone pays attention to you. But people, of course, are not monkeys, and bouts of excessive jealousy will only harm the relationship.
What did you do two years ago that you don't do now?...These are the place in life that you must go back and find...When you forget the happiness of your yesterday's that brought you together, problems will set in...This is the secret of true love...Looking at the boy in the man in front of you and not letting boredom of life set in...I believe in each partnership that there has to be a dominant person who sees this happening and doesn't let it fester...Sure it takes two to tango, but one to lead the dance of life....
Well I'm in a similar situation... I've been with my boyfriend since late 2009 (we recently celebrated our three year) but for the past couple of weeks we've been argueing like crazy. I do admit I am the type that can come off as needy or smothering, and I am trying my best to work on that issue as I know that it pushes him away over time. Recently it's become so bad that he's tried to end things with me on a couple of occasions because he is not happy with me. However we are now at a point where he thinks its best if we "take things slow" by maybe giving each other more space for a couple of weeks. He says he still wants to work things out between us. I don't know what to make of it. I'm not sure if he's being genuine about wanting things to work, or if he's just doing this so that he doesn't hurt my feelings. Any insight would be appreciated!

My husband and I have known each other for 20 years, and been married for the past 8. We have two adorable children who we both cherish. Since having the kids though, 5 years ago, our marriage has become unbearable. My husband has been through serious issues which led to depression, and has to his own belief, now dealt with the issues. During the time of his issues, he had two incidents, at least that I know about, with other women, and over the past 8 years with his behaviour, my trust has been stripped away and I am left with no trust in him whatsoever. He now continues to tell me he wants the marriage and he is in love with me, but I find it hard to believe when after 2 years of trying to work things out, we are still no further along than when we hit rock bottom 2 years ago. He continues to be thoughtless, and my anger and emotions hit sky high every time he stuffs up. I know I should be forgiving, but I find it harder and harder these days. I have told him I hate him and that I want him out. I cannot ever see a loving future between us, and I hate the kids seeing me this way. Also our intimacy has completely gone out the window. We have not been intimate in almost 3 years. It’s so depressing. Although I want the marriage ended, I can’t help thinking “Would I be so angry and upset and emotional, if I no longer cared?” Any advice on whether I should give him a go for the thousandth time, or just cut my losses and run?
Our instincts can often tell us first when a relationship just isn't working — but we don't always trust that voice, says couples therapist Susan Pease Gadoua, co-author of The New I Do: Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists and Rebels. "We often ignore our gut instincts because that voice is very quiet and calm, unlike the internal voice in our heads that thrives on high drama." We're trained to trust logic in many areas of life, so when a niggling feeling ("Am I really still in love with this person?") presents itself, it's hard to pay attention to it because there aren't any hard facts or rational reasoning. Drill down on that initial instinct and ask yourself more specific questions. If you find your responses are things like, "I don't feel safe to express myself, I don't feel respected and haven't felt happy in a long time," that's a sign that things have gone awry — and you shouldn't ignore it. "The truth doesn't go away simply because we don't want it to be there; that voice stays in the background and weighs on you," says Gadoua. "Getting quiet within is key to being able to hear instincts. And like a muscle, the more you trust your gut, the easier it becomes to decipher that voice — which comes from your heart — from the voice in your head."
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