I welcome your thoughts on these signs your marriage is over. I can’t offer relationship advice or counseling, but you may find it helpful to share what you’re going through. Writing is one of the best ways to gain clarity and insight, and can help you process your feelings and sort through your thoughts. And, your experience will show other women they’re not alone.

We have been married for 10 years. we dated for a year, I am in second marraige, he has had four, which I found out by suprise in this past year. 4 months after we were married I was shocked to find out he had accepted over 100,000 a bills from his ex wife who had kicked him out and he was still paying her credit cards for 8 years. I was livid. Needless to say the trust was broken right away and our life became very difficult. My husband is great with words of agreement, but breaks any agreements we make. If the temperature get a little “hot” in the house the agreement is gone or he “doen’t remember.” We have not had sex for almost 3 years. He is one to try for a few times and if it doesn’t work…he’s gone. He spends ,most of his time in his office upstairs. We are older, 59 and 75, I detest being around him. He is retired and the economy does not afford a job for someone my age who cannnot be on their feet all day. We watched the movie fireproof separtely and he tried for 3-4 times and when it did not go his way he retreated. I have been in counseling for years and when suggested for us both to go he decided to go to his own counselor…alone. No suprise. He lives vicariously through me, has no hobbies, friends, interests and quite frankly I have exhausted my efforts, marraige suggested readings etc. He takes no accountability for his neglect or “conditional” effort. He will not read a book because he had to read a lot 40 years ago. the front of “looking good” has become weary and I have become very angry and short fused. I believe the marraige is over, we cannot afford to split. What to do… He is helpful if I ask him and remind him and remind him again. He is responsible with payments and watches tv and surfs the net. He has needed a hearing aid for 7 years and will not get one, (too stubborn)that has been very difficult. His mom passed last year and for te yeas she was here in the city. She was his priority and that was made very clear. we have no birthday, anniversary celebrations, get aways. We can’tbe in a car together or there is complete silence. He has and has not had dreams, goals for our future since I met him. He just said what was neeed for me to hear and it was much mistruth. Looking for counsel.

My husband has been unfaithful. I learned last year that he was. He says he love me and want our marriage but, he is still with his mistress & denies it. We have never had locked phones. And I have never seen his phone down in a year. It’s always on him. He lies & the cheated has affected his company because of the lack of work. I have no clue what to do. He never shows me any different. Other that I don’t make him feel special, but I do anything he asked. Now I am at the last rope. We have 3 young children & i am searching for work incase of the worse. Does anyone have any advice. Plus he says he depressed. And need me, but it’s the same thing over & over.
If your husband's behavior is the reason behind your unhappiness, talk about it in terms of how it affects you rather than placing blame. One effective way to do this is through "I" statements. For instance, you say to your husband, "I feel lonely when you stay out late every night." This may help your husband see things from your perspective. In contrast, if you say something like, "You're so selfish for staying out all the time," your husband may feel attacked and be less receptive to your concerns.
I have been married for 51 years. I have 3 children and 4 beautiful grandsons. I have worked from the time I have been 5 and went in business for myself after quitting school at 16 and through through the years made a fine living and gave my family what I never had,spoiling them for the most part. When things changed was prior to having our children after marriage, by the way my wife and I courted for 3 years and never had sex. My wife is a very pretty women then and now at 68. I use to drink at times and that would cause to her to say I was drunk weather I had one drink or 10. My goal in life has always been to provide for my family and now to make sure that when I die my wife will be able to live without having to work, and that is place with a secure income not a lot but one she will live a decent life.

I don't think he is or would have an affair. I think that he still wants to try to have a sucessful and happy marriage, but neither one of us is certain how to accompllish it. He doesn't like to share his feelings with me until he can't handle them anymore. He told me that at the point when he finally does tell me, he says he is never sure how I'll react. After he tells me, he says he ends up feeling guilty ( I'm a very easy crier) and then wishes he had kept his mouth shut. I do have depression, and have been this way since we met, so this is nothing he didn't know. He also expressed that he's been feeling very cynical and angry towards me for reasons he can't explain. For example- I am directionally challenged (driving directions). On a recent trip he got mad that I had us going in circles. When I told him that getting mad at me was not going to make me better at reading a map, he took the map and curtily showed me where we were, etc. He used that recent experience as an example of how his attitude toward me has changed. I just don't know what to do. He's right- personalities don't change, and I now realize that our relationship isn't where it was two years ago. I love him so much and am ready to fight (figuratively speaking) to make our marriage stronger from this experience.
i have been married for 3 years and we just recently seperated and i know its my fault. i couldnt let go of the fact that she lied to me about sleeping with someone even when i asked her before we got married if she need to tell me anything. when she told me last october what had happened i felt as if our marriage was false and i always threw it in her face. Now reality has set in and i would rather change my ways and get her back then to be mad at her for the past and be lonely but i dont know how she feels. Because from october untill she left we fought everyday and i know its my fault what should i do?
My husband has cheated on more than 5 times since we got married3 years. He even done it while I was sick in the hospital due to our first child.These were not one night stand type of thing. He had emotional affairs(as far as I know, I highly suspected that he was also intimate with at least two women). Each affair lasted at least for 3 months. I have attempted to leave the marriage several times, but each time, my family and friends mediated us( I’m from a tradition were divorce is highly discouraged). Our last fight was November,2011.He denied the affairs each time and made me look like I was paranoid. He is always dismissing the situation and it’s always the same answer: were are “just friends” ,nothing is going on, “it’s not what it seems”. The ladies are all his coworkers…he is a contractor so he takes a new contract every few months and that’s when he starts the affair. He met the current woman he is talking to February,2012. I suspected he was at it again but I was afraid of finding out about it so I was avoiding it till yesterday, when he handed me his cellphone to check he’s new apps. I check his email and my worse nightmare come to life! He has been communicating with this lady at least 20 times a day! Note: She was let go of the company last week and he was still communicating with her, he even told her that he had a dream of her and asked her how she was doing.
"Time delays between the time you send a message or leave a voicemail seem to get longer when one of you is not as thrilled with the relationship as they once were," he says. If you're just super busy, or jet-setting, don't fret so much, he adds. "This doesn’t apply to those with jobs or travel that make regular conversations difficult, but you can definitely tell when a pattern of detachment is beginning." Time for a chat.

You took the words right out of my mouth except I moved with our 3 month old. I gave up basically everything I know only to go sleep with his back to me we hardly talk anymore it seems he seems so different now. There will be times, ALOT of times I throw myself at him only to be rejected which hurts because I just had a baby. When were driving I ALWAYS see him looking at girls walking om the sidewalks in his side and rear view mirrors. It just makes me so worthless snd unloved I know how you feel =\. It ***** BELEIVE me I know. I never in a million years thought moving in with my best friend and lover with our child that is feel mire alone than I ever have in the 24 years of my life. He hasn't said he's unhappy .... It's the things he DOSENT say that I know he feels, that hurts the most is that he can't come to ME anymore and if he can't come to me then who am I supposed to go to? Hrs all I have now...and lately it seems as though hrs been longggg checked out from this relationship....he was right to say he feels "more like roomates than anything" it's just sad that we had to fall apart lime this
This sounds just like everyone else, things were good, then changed to bad…He doesn’t cheat on me, or hang out with his friends too much – as a matter of fact he stays right here almost 24 hours a day. We have 3 kids, which is why I haven’t left to date. If we were to split up he would move back near his family which is 8 hours away – a little hard for my kids.

Women are worriers by nature. In fact, according to one scientific study (via Metro), women appear to have lower levels of anxiety-regulating brain chemicals, which, as a result can make us more, "high strung." If you tend to project your worries on to your husband — constantly reminding him to take his multivitamin, ease up on the beer-drinking, and repeatedly telling him to take an umbrella to work in case it rains — you could be headed for trouble, says Hope.
I encourage you to talk to a counselor. You don’t need your husband to agree to go to couples counseling for you to get emotionally healthy! A counselor will help you sort out all the questions and miscommunications and problems you’re having…and he or she will help you see what direction you should go in. A counselor can also help you see your husband’s personality more clearly, which can help you decide if your marriage is truly over, or if there’s hope that you can save it.
Thank You Mohammed "cyberspyne@gmail .com" for the job well done. I just gave him a trial and i confirmed his good work , I gave him a job to hack my husband phone and he was able to hack his phone and each time my husband has a call my phone ring as well and i was able listen to every call he either makes or receives, ICLOUD, WHATSAPP,EMAIL ACCOUNTS and FACEBOOK ACCOUNTS. I know there are lots of people out there looking for proof and evidence about one thing or the other. Be open and real with him so he can even be at the best of his service to you. I belief he can do anything related to hacking. Do contact him by email on cyberspyne@gmail .com a trial would convince you trust me.
If you want to stop your husband from cheating, you must devise a good plan for your marriage. No marriage can succeed without a plan. Building a marriage is like building a house; you must have a burning desire to make it work. You need to develop a plan for the marriage and every day sit down with your spouse and show him your plan. During this time, let him see the cost involved in building a successful marriage, taking care of the home and the kid's education. Soon, your husband will realize the cost of his cheating and will discover it is not worthy to be spending money and time outside on strange women when the one he is married to is a better planner and organizer.
Like Kathleen #3, at some point, you just have to look at this and say “if I stay, this is the life I am agreeing to, and I need to be ok with that”……I started feeling like a battered wife.  He would have his meltdowns, tell me I was not being a good enough girlfriend for him and everything was my fault, break up with me, then call me shortly afterwards and want to “work it out because he loves me”.   With every breakup, I would lose sleep, lose weight, have trouble concentrating at work.  The cycles were coming faster and faster, with less breathing room in between. The bad times were far outweighing the good times.  I finally gave him an ultimatum, and told him he needs to acknowledge he has this disorder and work WITH me on it, I am done being the only one accommodating it.  He and his family all got mad at me, how dare I “diagnose” him!  I am not a doctor!  I did have him take several tests that all indicated a very high likelihood, and I read several books on it…and guess what, for those who have it borderline, they may go their whole lives being undiagnosed until a wife or a girlfriend figures it out.  People just think he is odd or quirky.  The SO lives it with him every day, and she starts to see the patterns and seeks answers.

For some reason your roommate—er, life partner—has been following you around all night, when all you want is to finish up the evening's menial tasks so that you can commune with your true passion (i.e., DVR'd episodes of Game of Thrones), tapping you on the shoulder and asking you inane questions about electric toothbrushes and dry cleaning and RSVPs. Is he trying to be irritating? I'm guessing that no, he is not trying. (It comes naturally! Hey-oh!) Chances are he's hungry for a little attention, and is therefore resorting to the grown-up's version of sleeve-tugging. Give it to him—not only will you be nurturing your relationship, but you'll increase your chances of getting a foot rub while you catch up with the Lannisters.


“Not every woman will go after a man who “goes to the mountain like a lion” to paraphrase DJ (from another discussion). ” ____________ More importantly, I’m famous! Kidding, and always enjoy reading you, Kal, but I can’t take credit for that. Steve actually coined the mountain lion term. I just took it to extreme. I spent a marriage like yours. It sucked. Steve asked what price we’d pay? I paid a big one, walked away, lost a business, home, everything…but I’m happy now, and what got me through that was the fact that I was confident in myself, that… Read more »
We all know that an affair do not start without a reason. It usually starts when your marriage is lacking something. To stop your husband from having an affair and save your marriage, you must ensure you meet his sexual and emotional needs. Do not make him desire sexual intimacy and pleasure from another woman because of your lack of energy, creativity and spontaneity.

You ladies are evil. This article is despicable, Maybe your controlling behavior is why your husband cant hear you. The best thing that looks good on a woman is kindness and understanding! The author is obviously has border line personality disorder. Men I know its hard to be a man sometimes, but If your wife does any of these things…. RUN. These things listed are not weapons but manipulations for a selfish person to get what they need and benefit NO partnership!
Also, pay attention in the bedroom: Less sex or less interest in sex is another way to tell that something is up. Indeed, agrees Rogers: "A drop in physical touch is also a sign that the relationship could be on the rocks." Whether it's in the bedroom or out, if things are not so hot between the two of you, your mate might be feeling dispirited about the whole thing.

Learn to show unselfish love to your husband. Love can be measured. If you truly love your husband and you show it all the time, he will be able to compare your love with those of other strange women and will be afraid to take the steps that may eventually consume him and the family. You can display this by resolving your marital problems in the spirit of love.
Hello my respectable viewers, My names are EVELYN JENKINS and i'm from (FLORIDA, UNITED STATE) I am very happy to share this amazing testimony, i was hurt and heart broken when my husband left me with our kid, i was confused and didn't know what to do, i loved him so much, i tried all i could to bring him back but all my effort was in vain , on one faithful day i explained my problem to my friend, and she told me of a great love spell caster called "LORD JUMA" whom also make her pregnant when she was looking for a child, i never believed in spells but i have give a try to see if things will get better, i contacted LORD JUMA through the contact info my friend gave to me, after some hours the spell caster responded to me he told me to stay and gave me some instructions on what to do and i did exactly as i was told, to my greatest surprise, my husband who has not called me for a very 3 yrs , called me and start apologizing for all the wrongs he did to me and pleaded with me that he want to return home with me and the kids, now he loved me more than ever before, my respectable viewers brothers and sisters if you are passing through any kind of problem contact him and i give you 100% guarantee that he will solve your problems. this is his contacts: mercyfullsolutionhome @yahoo. com or mercyfullsolutionhome @gmail. com add him up on whatsApp at: +1 (859)-203-2241

I’ve been married 10 years. We have a beautiful daughter a handsome little boy. I feel really disconnected from my husband, and our love life is almost non-existent. I don’t know what to do. I love my husband and I want to make it work for the both of us and our kids, but I don’t feel like I’m getting what I need from him in order to feel loved and secure in this relationship. I think he may be seeing someone else, but I don’t know for certain. I’m at a crossroads and I don’t know what to do!

A lot of single and married women today believe that marriage is a means to an end – that all their problems will magically go away when the love of their life places a ring on their finger and they finally say “I do.” There is also an underlying expectation that the men in our lives will keep us happy at all costs. But despite the cues we get from the media, in fairy tales, and from those we believe are so happy around us, your relationship is not meant to keep you happy. Yes, your man should make you happy, but that is not the sole objective. We should be taking another path to happiness in our relationship – one that is more likely to get us where we need to be. This doesn’t begin with fixing our man, but with fixing our own hearts. Here are six things to do when your man can’t make you happy.
Our relationship had really hid the skids once we got married and work for him took over. I tried to write him a letter to let him know how much his critically comments were hurting me and taking over my life and self esteem, he grabbed the letter and said, “I dont have time for your shit” I was really depressed at the time and drinking alot which he hated. Worst of all , he didnt really care that A: I was upset and B: I was no coping to look after our child. He told me one day he hated me so much he could punch me in the face. He has aggression and childhood issues, which i was always sympathetic for as well as my family. As our 2 year anniversary for our wedding came around which he didnt want to spend with me i decided to go away and it changed my life. I felt a sense of freedom and relief when i got home and ended my marriage. My child welcomed the fact, although only young sensed the tension. I have moved out but my husband will not let go and will do anything to keep us together. This has been a hard and abusive time. We had tried counselling in the past which I literally had to drag him too, since then he has vowed to change and do anything it takes to keep our family together. I am worried that illl fall into his charms. We have a ridiculous sex life even when we hate each other its full on passion, but thats not enough for the emotional hole i had when with him. Should we give full on counselling a go, or should i cut the ties and move onto a stable loving person???? INDIA
What did I do? Looking back, I admit that I did some crazy shit. And it is shit. Why did I ever think that punishing my husband by turning away from him and harboring resentments would EVER get me what I wanted? How could I possibly think that punishing him and withdrawing from him would magically give me more love, attention, praise, and affection? It’s nuts. It’s self-sabotage.
It seems as though lately, all we do is bicker. We are constantly at each others throats. He is cold and rude and that makes me mad or cry and then he tells me I am being over dramatic. It is a vicious cycle and I don't know how to make it stop. We have been dating for over a year, but for the first 11 months we were long distance. We saw each other every weekend and our relationship was really strong. We decided that if we were going to work long term, we would need to see how we did when we lived in the same city. He had the better job, so I moved from Houston to Dallas to be with him. I don't really know anyone here, so it is natural for me to cling to him, because he is my support system. I don't know if going from seeing each other 4 days a week to 6 or 7 days a week freaked him out, or what it is, but something with us changed. He started to feel trapped, and controlled in every aspect of his life (not just by me). Work is overwhelming him, his parents are demanding of his time as are his life long friends and so am I. I know besides work I am the top prority out of those 4 but I know he wants it to be more balanced. I have tried to explain to him that I am ok with that, but he doesnt seem to believe me. I want to find my own nitche in this new city. I have always been an independent, strong woman so it is gut wrernching to me that I have become this dependent, needy, naggy person. That is not who I am, but at the same time I have never moved for love, and then felt so alone. I don't think that he understands how much I have given up to be with him. Don't get me wrong, this was my choice, and I would do it again if I knew that we were going to be ok. I am just not so sure anymore.

Are you unhappy in your marriage?  Does your husband just not understand you?  Has nothing you’ve said gotten through to him?  Here are some novel ways to open his eyes to your pain and suffering.  Below is a guaranteed Five Step Plan to get your husband to take full ownership for all of the marital issues and apologize accordingly.  Because you deserve it. (PS. This is a SATIRE!  If you want real help communicating with your husband, read other posts on this site, or my book!)


I fell in love with a boy in another religion when i was 18 years old.now iam 25.we both are of same age.im his third girlfriend.he promised me that he wil love until his last breath.but our relationship has a lot of problems.i cannot think of another man in his place.i love him so much that i cant live without him.i have told him many times that how much he mean to me as a boyfriend, but he stopped talking to me now..i cant think of even a second without him.he too said that he loves me so much.but things are getting different.we both are at different states.we see twice in a year since this relation started.now he is pursuing mba.he joined his new college last year.there he got lot of friends.
What did you do two years ago that you don't do now?...These are the place in life that you must go back and find...When you forget the happiness of your yesterday's that brought you together, problems will set in...This is the secret of true love...Looking at the boy in the man in front of you and not letting boredom of life set in...I believe in each partnership that there has to be a dominant person who sees this happening and doesn't let it fester...Sure it takes two to tango, but one to lead the dance of life....

I’ve been married for 18 years and I’m so broken hearted over the fact that I’ve fallen out of love with my husband. He is a good man in the sense that he doesn’t drink, smoke, gamble. I know he would never cheat on me. But his investment into our marriage is “in his words” financial. Provides everything I need and want. When I’ve mentioned it’s emotional that our marriage lacks, he finds it funny. I’ve been to counseling and I have tried to use the right words to express myself, I’ve tried to take the correct steps to fix myself. I’ve boiled it down to our marriage is physical but not emotional. And I don’t know how to keep going with such a huge missing piece. I almost worry that I’m just delusional and that a mans desire to make his wife emotionally happy is unreal. I’m exhausted and I’ve just given in and am going through the motions and it’s killing me to just accept this is life.
I am my new husbands 4th wife. He has a handicapped son that lives with us, the son is now 28 years old, he is agressive and my husbands feeling of guilt means that he has to go out of his way all the time to give his son a normal life, he runs around like crazy to make him happy, i am therefore a very close second in his life, not first. When we got married i had no idea that things would turn out like they are, i love my husband and i am sure that he loves me. Problem is, we have almost no signs that we are married. I have slept alone in our bed for the last 6 years, he has to sleep with his son for security (medical) purposes. We do not share a dinner table and we seldom do things together, when we do have a chance to talk, he will fall asleep on the couch. We differ 18 years, i understand that he is tired, i also work and are tired too. My husband does not like my oldest son and to the degree that i had to move my son to live with my sister. I feel like all the dreams of love and intimacy of family will never be a reality for me again. I am very lonely and my heart breaks for my son and rebellious things that he starting to do. I have never used anything as escape and recently found that a few glasses of wine each night helps to dimm all the emotion.. we are bringing the ugliest out of each other, i some days don’t even recognise myself and are starting to believe my husbands bad words against me, and then he brings me tea every morning, he never skip, no matter how bad the fight was. We mostly fight about how he treat or speak to my boys. Our daughter are in the middle of this all, she does not deserve this. We have talked about divorce and then he threatens to take our daughter, and then the next morning he brings me tea again. This has been going on forever. Please advise on what you think i should do?
I have asked him numerous times to go to marriage counseling, even telling him once that I thought he should go to anger management. Sadly, he has no respect for therapy or therapists in general...the derogatory comments make me sad. Since I majored in Psych and Education, I asked him what he respects about me, since he makes fun of my Educ background and he doesn't believe in or respect Psych. He told me he respects the way I raise our daughter and my baking. During that discussion, I told him I was going to go to counseling one way or another. We had a stare-down and he asked me why I thought I needed to go. I told him I just did. I emailed him a passage on psychotherapy and wrote: You asked me why go to counseling, here are some thoughts. I will be making an appointment to go hopefully this week and would love it if you want to join me, but understand if you don't want to. If nothing else, I want to get my ducks in a row so I can raise our daughter in the best way possible! Let me know if you'd like to come with me...A week ago, I told him I went to my first counseling session and I'd love it if you want to join me for the next one. He said, Haven't we already had this conversation? I said, yes. I just wanted to let you know that I went. He said, Great. What's this going to cost us? I then told him I had 5 free sessions and then we'd have to pay, then I chatted with our daughter and that was the end of that...

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years, we have definitely had our ups and downs but throughout everything we’ve always stuck by each other’s side. About a month and a half ago he told me that he wanted to take a break from our relationship so that he could take some time to work on himself & I was 100% okay with that, but eventually it was revealed that he’s been having doubts about our relationship because I’m younger than him (2.5 year age difference) & there’s also this girl that he has like me for some time now that he wants to talk to. I know he has some strong feelings for this girl because anytime we’re remotely close to getting back together he runs into her (they go to school && work together) and totally second guesses our whole relationship. It hurts me because I want to be with him for the rest of my life, but I know deep down he really wants the other girl. I’ve asked him several times if he would rather be with me or her & he always says “I don’t know.” That tells me that he doesn’t really want me anymore because how could you even compare a 4 year relationship to a crush? I’m just really in a sad place right now because I feel like our relationship is over. He still tells me he loves me and tries to act like we’re still together but I know that it’s her that he really wants. I’ve told him to go be with her because I know that’s what he really wants and I love him enough to let him go so that he can be with someone who is everything that he wants and more. He tells me he won’t do it because he doesn’t want me to get involved with anyone else. I just don’t know what to do anymore. He’s literally my best friend and I have no one else that I can talk to about our relationship. I really don’t want to leave him.. I want us to be happy together again.
I am hoping that by typing out my woes I will be able to come to a decision on what I should do. In my relationship of 5 1/2 years when it is good it is very very good but when it goes bad it is awful. Currently we do not live together as I have had to move to another town to support youngest sons education. Organising to do this was fraught with difficulty. Lots of sulking and accusations of you don’t love me etc. In the end I just went ahead and did it. My husband is not my son’s father. After I told him that he was an abusive man and I was not going to put up with it any longer he went and got some counselling. It seem to help. Things have been good, not ideal but good until this weekend. We had an argument and one of the things he said to me “when it comes to the important thnings we just can’t communicate about it”. He also said that “you have a really long memory and that he has no doubt that what we were arguing about will come back to haunt him”. The thing is that what we were arguing about I agreed with the decision that had to be made. That was the Friday night. Saturday night I ring him up and after the usual pleasantries he launched into a tirade and said that he was going to this, this and this. He then said that he guessed that there wasn’t much else to talk about and hung up. I was stunned and realised that things haven’t really changed at all. The only difference being that because we have been separated and because we haven’t been living together it has lessened the impact of negative behaviour. Now I know logically I should ring him back and say that I understand that the decision needed to be made and i am not disagreeing with him but I don’t like the way he went about it. This decision is extremly difficult and emotional for me and he has not acknowledged that in any way. I always feel that it is me trying to make right with him. Also I have a chronic health condition and have been told to minimise stress as much as possible. It is all about him and his money. I guess what saddened me most is that I have realised that he hasn’t actually changed at all, it has just been sleeping. I am scheduled to move back with him beginning of next year but now I am wondering if it is going to be right for me. Perhaps this blow up over the weekend is a message to me.
Me and my husband have been together for 8years and we’ve been through alot. He is very jealous and he thinks if I go out, im going to be cheating. I never go out but he goes out every weekend. He always calls me names and talks about the way I look..He doesnt help me financialy with my daughters and he doesnt even take care of his daughters. Its been like this since I had my kids. what should I do.. because i seriously dont have any feelings for him anymore.
All of these answers apply to both genders, but you are so angry you can’t see past the pronouns in the article. You’ve taken a practical choice, this website is aimed at women, as other websites are aimed at men, and turned into a slight against you. If you do that with a website then it’s a safe bet you do that in your personal relationships as well, this is really going to hurt your chances of being able to successfully communicate what’s hurting you to your partner. When you approach someone in anger it immediately creates defensiveness, an urge to fend off, repulse, and retaliate. Being calm and flexible is not the same thing as being passive, you can disagree and still see smokeless point (regardless of whether or not that point is valid). Approach your feelings, problems, and arguments calm and collected. This means you need to have examined and accepted your own flaws first, and be able to weather the invective that will be thrown at you. You also need to remain on point, which is hard when you feel like a big list of wrongs have been perpetrated. It seems that the big thing for you is that your wife doesn’t respect your time, she might not know she does that ( My family is old world and thinks it’s shameful for a woman to work and that it’s disrespectful for her husband not to provide as much as possible). I try thinking about it first from the defensive perspective of the other person first, “its your fault because”, “I may be bad but your worse”, etc, it’s easy because we all have those thoughts when we feel we are being attacked. My husband used to have temper tantrums at first, then he started really listening and we resolve things. Now, he uses my own approach on me when my hackles are raised!
This led to the unforgiveable infidelities mentioned in 'stay or go'. I say infidelities because the course taken was firstly to seek to revisit old relationships which led to two incidents of infidelity. Then there was infidelity committed with friends of friends, in conjunction with other friends and also with colleagues she worked with. I knew about some of these by 2007, but decided to try and forgive and move forward positively. The unforgiveable neither insurmountable nor in reality unforgiveable.
What did you do two years ago that you don't do now?...These are the place in life that you must go back and find...When you forget the happiness of your yesterday's that brought you together, problems will set in...This is the secret of true love...Looking at the boy in the man in front of you and not letting boredom of life set in...I believe in each partnership that there has to be a dominant person who sees this happening and doesn't let it fester...Sure it takes two to tango, but one to lead the dance of life....
every single time my husband and i argue he wants to leave me or he hates me and hes disgusted with me. just recently his father passed and said he didn’t want me to attend the funeral not once but at least 5 or 6 times;he never understands how i feel when i try to explain something or why im upset..im a student so i have no job or money i want to leave him but i feel trapped i really do love him but if has told me he wants to leave over and over again hes even though about suicide and that makes me feel ill! how can i stay with someone that feel this way let alone spill there true feelings to me when hes angry its funny cause i don’t feel warmth from him but when were arguing i get a lot of heat
Obviously I don't know your situation, but it sounds like it truly sucks. I don't know your background. What made you fall in love, how well did you know your husband before your married, why did you marry, etc. I'm sure that your husband loves you very much but he has clearly lost his way. I don't know why he seeks solitude but there may be a better reason than you suspect. I don't know why he is emotionally detached but I'm sure that it's not your fault and that the reason is anything other than what you might imagine it to be. All that being said, and giving him the benefit of the doubt, you need to go together to see a marriage counselor as soon as possible. They speak to lots of couples in similar situations and I believe that they can help you find out why your husband acts the way he does and how to help. You both need to focus on strengthening your relationship. This effort should take priority over your kids. They need you two to love each other and be happy together because you are their model of true love.

Every human heart is like a vessel. It longs to be filled to full capacity, but it can only be filled satisfactorily by the love of God. If your spouse’s heart is not complete by a relationship with Jesus then they will always be lacking. For a time they may try to fill that void with you, and when that doesn’t work they may try to fill it with pornography or even with another woman. This is not your fault, and we as women must realize this. 


i am in the exact same thing that you are ... i love him so much and i cant let him go ! i want to fight for us and stay together ! i have fought for so long and whats the point of giving up now ? we have been together for one year and five months i cant imagine losing him forever .. he means so much to me i dont know what to do ? any tips ?..... :''(
This suggestion sounds so simple but not so easy to obtain. As a husband and father of three, I find my happiness to be fleeting. My wife is exhausted and has little energy nor desire to care for any needs that I may have. I believe society places husbands in a codependent role which ties our happiness to our wives. I too, am loved and appreciated at work, but at home I am the lowest priority. I was taught to be a good husband you need to make sure your wife is happy, “happy wife, happy life.” Where is the… Read more »
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