My situation is not exactly same as yours. But my boyfriend tends to be moody or changes mood within the day. In one instance, we’re chatting in Facebook, i was telling we got free food at work at that day and he’ll just send me a thumbs up emoticon. Normally when I tell him something about FOOD it he would say ” delicious”. We’ve had our relationship for 3 months now. That is not the only the instance of his mood swings. He would suddenly be cold to me. I would ask him ” is there a problem?” he would answer NO. Sometimes it made me think whats wrong? Did i say something stupid? Suddenly out of nowhere he would tell me I Love You. He admits that he is moody. He has bad temper at times but not to the point of hurting me. He would normally raise his voice when he doesn’t want things go the right way. I mean I can feel he really loves me but sometimes it pisses me off when he is like that. What I’m doing is just letting his bad mood passed. I’m just ignoring it. I just let his mood normalize.
We’ve been married 8 years. Suddenly his dreams switch 180 and I’m to blame when they don’t come true. From wanting to settle down and be a farmer now he suddenly wants to become an Evangelist, with us having 5 kids in tow. Now I am a very religious woman, but this 180 has sent me for a loop. All we’ve talked about is having our own place, and now he tells me that this has always been his dream and I’m holding him back. I can make it without him, but I feel like I owe it to the kids to keep going. There are times I don’t want to even look at him, and times I want to show him the door. I know marriage isn’t based on love, it’s a commitment between two people. But I’m tired of being blamed for everything going wrong in our lives, and I’m tired of our kids seeing how he treats me. Do I think our marriage is over? Yeah, it’s been over quite a while. Am I gonna hang for the kids? Yeah, gonna do that too. See, what some of you don’t get is that after you have kids, it’s not about you anymore. They didn’t ask to be created, to be born, but here they are. It’s not about how you feel or he feels or she feels, it’s about how can you get along together for the kids sake. Maybe separate bedrooms or even something more than that, but the kids come first in a marriage. Your life is not your own anymore. Grow up, grow a set, get over it and get on with life. The kids are the most important thing, not anything else.
I see you are on this page frequently, so I thought I would ask you for help here. I wrote a lengthy comment on the page dealing with difficult parents, and I desperately need some help or advice. I don’t know what to do…it’s going to ruin my marriage and/or my life soon. Please read it and see if you can help me at all. I would greatly appreciate any insight you may have. I’m desperate!!!
We all know that an affair do not start without a reason. It usually starts when your marriage is lacking something. To stop your husband from having an affair and save your marriage, you must ensure you meet his sexual and emotional needs. Do not make him desire sexual intimacy and pleasure from another woman because of your lack of energy, creativity and spontaneity.
So I met my husband in September we married in January after knowing each other for a very long time. At the start it was amazing touchy Feely all over each other never wanting to be too far from each other intimacy was amazing we have been married 6 months and I'm not happy his phone is more important than coming to bed at night with me might get to me between 2 and 4am our sex had stopped he hadn't touched me since February he goes to work comes home and on his phone his phone is his best friend I tried yo tell him when we first got married to at least put it down to have our time and then things got worse. He thinks it's all me and not talking about it but I dong want to be a bitch and start cursing at him I have no idea what to do he's in it forever and we'll I'm not I feel lonely trapped and don't like being married can anyone help me
Im 22 years old and have a pne month old baby boy. After moving in with my now husband, I found out he was cheating on me with a co-worker even before I was pregnant. When I confronted him hr first denied it until I showed him proof. I love him very much. His son and me need him. I dont want my child to not grow up without his dad. If it was just me I would of left. But im thinking about what is best for my son. After we talked about it we said we would try to make it work. I thought he would stop but I catch him lying to me and getting out to go see her. I went through his phone and saw that he tells her he loves her and hates having to leave each other. She tells him that she hates knowing that he comes home to me. I love him but I feel so hurt about everything especially after the fat that we have a son now. We had made so many plans that im am soo confused and not sure of his feelings. He doesn’t tell me he loves me. He says that the fire in our relationship is not there or the love like when we meet 2years ago. I dont know what to do or how to make our relationship work. How do I bring tjat intimacy back into our relationship. Im not talking about sex but emotionally.
I read this with an open mind and heart and I had a guy I loved dearly he was very moody, and he ran hot and cold. what eventually happened was I had to let go he refuse to get help and all he was doing was dragging me in his funk, I could not do it. I love him still to this day, but I love me MORE!! YOU can’t fix, repair or coddle anyone with severe issues, it’s not your job, he found someone and married her did he get the help he needed.. NO!! it;s such a vicious cycle..
I am 33 and have been with my husband for 15 years, Married for 5 of those. We got together when i was 17 so i have never been in a relationship with anyone except him. our problems begun when i was pregnant for our daughter who is now 2 1/2. I was diagnosed with post natal depression when our daughter was 18 months old. He is a very strong willed man who i feel in an argument will not back down and i feel its me always me saying sorry even though sometimes its not my fault! I have not been at work since having our daughter so the pressure is on for him to provide, but makes me feel guilty when i spend money on shopping etc. He has ask that i write down what i spend. what money i do get goes into our joint account, it pains me not having my own wage coming in as i feel i have to justify all expenditure. I do not go out very often without my daughter and when i do after the event we end up arguing because he will bring the fact that ive been out. I got into debit a few years back and didn’t want to put extra pressure onto him, i asked my mum to loan me the money. To which i later confessed to. 6 years on he says he hates my Mum and will slag off my parents marriage (who have been married for 40 yrs) His parents have gone thru his dad being an alcoholic and domestic violence to which he was witness to as a child. He says real nasty things to me in the heat of the moment, which i can not forget. this is only the half of it. We spend more time arguing then not and any special moment is clouded by an argument. We go for days not talking after an argument. He says he hates the person i have become & feels since having our daughter i have put him on a shelf and will come back to him when i am ready. We argued the other day because i said that our daughter was the most important thing in my life not him! In every argument he says his leaving this has gone on for nearly 3 years now. I have fallen pregnant on the pill and abortion is not a option. I now feel we have maybe out grown each other & that to much hurt and upset has gone on to be able to repair things. we have had counseling but could not afford to keep it up. to you think that some time apart for us both to reflect on things could help. He says he loves me with all his heart but i have to change for things to work. I just feel so lost in what to do. I do not know if were are both hanging on for the wrong reasons (ie: our daughter) or if this relationship has just become a habit. please i would be grateful for any advice .
If you feel your man might be growing unhappy in your relationship, I suggest you sit down and talk to him. Lay it out on the table and tell him, to be honest about how he really feels. At the end of the day, you could be worried about nothing. However, a sudden change in behavior is rarely ever a good sign in a relationship. So you have every right in the world to wonder what’s really going on.
On a related note, what are your goals as a couple? Do you have a compatible vision for your future? If you want a four million dollar home with an ocean view and your husband wants a wee cottage in the forest, then you both may feel less committed to your marriage. Why? Because you want different things in life. If your husband wants six children and you’d rather be childfree, then you may have to work harder on overcoming the signs your marriage is over. To keep your marriage strong, you need to agree on your vision as a couple or family – and put each other first.
Hi everyone I know you all have been looking for a certified hacker that works legit and not scammer welll meet cyberspyne@gmail .com. For all your email hacks find out the password of any site he / she (your partner) is on via the email address just do forget password and you have access you could use this files for your divorce also don't let that cheat get away contact cyberspyne@gmail .com. Remember he would show you proof before you make payments this is real see readers comment below :
I am having a propbem and just need someone to talk to. My husband and I habe been married for 13 months, were engaged for almost two years, and had been best friends for five. About six months ago, we left city life and moved to the coast where his family resides. I have no family and no friends here, so that in itself has been difficult for me. We have been having a reoccuring problem that has a uniform cause, which is alchohol. We go out on a date night every Thursday, play pool and sing at the local bar, and drink. A couple of months ago, August, if I remember correctly, we went through three weeks when every time we would go out it started great, but ended with my husband telling me how awful I am and throwing me out of the house. The next day he wouldn’t remember any of it. We discovered that the issue was if he mixed beer and liquor, he became an angry drunk, and I was his target. The solution seemed simple enough, stop mixing the two. It worked well enough for us and the drunken arguments stopped.
I’m glad to see how marriage has evolved. It used to be much more transactional — happening principally to foster economic benefits or social standings or to produce children — but nowadays people typically choose to commit themselves legally to each other for far more noble goals. More and more people marry with the intention of experiencing lasting love and companionship.
Unless your husband has given your real reason to not trust him, always give him the benefit of the doubt. Most likely you have been cheated on or hurt in a past relationship, but don't let that baggage follow you into your marriage. Don't snoop in his phone, check his email, or spy on him when he's out with his friends. Let him know that you trust him and he will do all that he can to ensure he does not break your trust.
Thanks to Prophet Abuvia because He is great. He has done so much for me. A few months ago my wife left me for another man. I was so depressed I was even admitted in hospital. Then for some reason I was searching for divorce lawyers and to my surprise I ended up on the prophet abuvia website (prophetabuviasolutiontemple. webs. com). I started reading his works and testimonies and I was so encouraged to fight for my marriage through his power and work. There were times were I lost hope,thinking of giving up but He reminds me to never lose hope. Isaiah 41:10. Today I can say my marriage has been restored. We happy and playing every day and she is happier than before. if you are having such or any kind of problem, you can also contact prophet abuvia on his email prophet.abuvia AT gmail DOT com
i am in the exact same thing that you are ... i love him so much and i cant let him go ! i want to fight for us and stay together ! i have fought for so long and whats the point of giving up now ? we have been together for one year and five months i cant imagine losing him forever .. he means so much to me i dont know what to do ? any tips ?..... :''(
Sliding Into Marriage. Couples often have low levels of commitment and end up sliding into marriage instead of making a very conscious and clear decision to be committed to their future spouse. This frequently happens when couples live together, but aren’t officially married yet. The issue is that when this “sliding” occurs, there is less initial commitment and willingness to stick it out when things get tough, which is essential to any marriage. In other words, if you slide into your marriage you may be more likely to slide right on out. A low commitment level is a warning sign your marriage is over (or that it never really began).
I am here to testify on how Dr Stanly help me to bring back my ex-boyfriend who left me 3 months ago. I got his email on the internet on an article how he had help so many people to get their ex partner back with spell, so i emailed HIM and told my problems to him and he gave me an assurance of getting my boyfriend back within 24hours and to my greatest surprise my boyfriend came back to me after 24hours of casting the spell.
Nothing makes a man ready to listen to how dissatisfied you are like hearing how your friend Jessica’s husband takes care of the kids every Saturday for the whole afternoon while she trains for a triathlon. Obviously he will commiserate with you over the injustice that Jessica, who despite her athleticism is not even that hot, has a better husband than you have. He might even be so overcome with sympathy that he walks directly out of the house. Don’t worry, I’m sure he is headed to buy you flowers to make up for his stupidity and selfishness.
My name is lizzy I had the same problem , my boyfriend n I had been together for 3 years without seeing him or evn sleeping with him , he always make excuses when we are supposed to have app , I love him so much and I realised he is taking advantage of that I have decided not to call him and chat with him , he alwaays insult me when I text him and complain I loved him so much but eventually I have realised that you can lead a horse to the river but you cannot force it to drink
What did you do two years ago that you don't do now?...These are the place in life that you must go back and find...When you forget the happiness of your yesterday's that brought you together, problems will set in...This is the secret of true love...Looking at the boy in the man in front of you and not letting boredom of life set in...I believe in each partnership that there has to be a dominant person who sees this happening and doesn't let it fester...Sure it takes two to tango, but one to lead the dance of life....
Well it is of no surprise the outright majority will be females who have been wronged by males. I myself am in a different circumstance. I have tried to push ahead in life with my relationship, for the pure fact that we have two children and it seems to be the morally right and socially acceptable thing to do. However, I am ending it….for the pure fact that I do not love this woman as one who needs a partner they can trust, should. It is to no fault of her own, she could not see what the relationship needed, and had instead focused on what articles like this had listed. Communication is paramount, but as much as everyone thinks they know, it is a two way street and listening is skill that we as humans must learn.
my husband and i have been married for nearly 5 years and for the past year things have been awful. he is unemployed and drinks all the time. he puts his friends and social life above what is best for us. since we have been together, he has blown all of our savings and now we are living on next to nothing. he doesn’t seem to care at all about our financial situation or how we can fix it…just wants to hang out with his friends and drink. we have two small children that i do 90% of everything for, while working, trying to take care of the house and the budget. every time i bring up our relationship and how we should work on things, he just says that we need a vacation and that we have no problems. i could talk to him until i’m blue in the face about our issues and he just brushes it off or says he doesn’t care how i feel. the thought of sex with him honestly disgusts me at this point. i am not attracted to him at all anymore. i don’t know what to do. a part of me still loves him very much but i have lost almost all respect for him. please help me figure out what to do. thank you.
Know That He Might Be Unhappy In Another Area Of His Life: The men in this situation don’t come right out and say this of course. (Sometimes, they don’t even realize it themselves.) But it’s often very easy to read between the lines. It’s not uncommon for this whole “I’m not happy” business to come at a time when he’s otherwise struggling. Perhaps he has lost his job. Maybe he is going through a serious lifestyle change. Or perhaps something is happening with his extended family. Whatever the reason, it’s very common for a man to take a problem that has nothing whatsoever to do with his marriage and then to project that problem onto the person who is most convenient or who is the closest to him. And that person is often his wife.
For some reason your roommate—er, life partner—has been following you around all night, when all you want is to finish up the evening's menial tasks so that you can commune with your true passion (i.e., DVR'd episodes of Game of Thrones), tapping you on the shoulder and asking you inane questions about electric toothbrushes and dry cleaning and RSVPs. Is he trying to be irritating? I'm guessing that no, he is not trying. (It comes naturally! Hey-oh!) Chances are he's hungry for a little attention, and is therefore resorting to the grown-up's version of sleeve-tugging. Give it to him—not only will you be nurturing your relationship, but you'll increase your chances of getting a foot rub while you catch up with the Lannisters.
If your married and you go and listen to your Husband’s ex’s what is this a sign of??? My marriage is about to end and my wife has let my 3 ex’s into our marriage… She said that she was a woman of GOD but who does this… Do you find this action immature at some point… Then she did bring in baggage from an early marriage etc… We could never talk after she started talking to them… She said it was better to talk with them than me… So I left the house… She has 4 kids that I was taking care of that were not mine… She never looked at this… Each night was about the ex’s etc… I grew tired of this abuse and I felt it was time to move on… Then the looking in my phone… Then asking me why I don’t cheat on her etc… When her ex’s all 3 did cheat on her… Give me your thoughts please of what is wrong with her because she thinks she is perfect and nothing is wrong with her… I am the problem…
Which brings me to this final bit of hopeful advice. Just because you notice these signs, does not mean your relationship is doomed. "It just means that there is something going on that is either a) not tied to the relationship, but the stress is spilling over into it or b) something is wrong within the relationship that needs addressing in order to be fixed," Rogers says. If you two can have that heart-to-heart, it is possible to reignite that happiness, and stay together.
If you want to stop your husband from having an affair and save your family finance, you must learn how to break your husband's wrong associations in a wise and smart manner. One main thing that can make your husband to have an affair and cheat on you is the kind of friends he keeps. Spend time to study his friends. Find out their values, and if they do not measure up, go down in prayers to God to sever the relationships. Do not feel you can separate them from your husband by nagging, complaining, fighting or condemning your husband or his friends. You can successfully achieve this through wisdom, the right techniques, patience and prayers. Remember, your husband is an adult, you cannot choose his friends for him. I will show you a powerful eBook that will help you to win your husband to yourself.
For those out there considering marriage. Make sure you weigh the pros and cons regarding your pre marriage situation before jumping on the marriage bandwagon. Marriage is difficult and takes time and patience and above all…outstanding communication. Without communication and support…your marriage will eventually fade to nothing but an ugly sunset.
At this moment, I am still ready to move on, but again, the fault is mine!! “If you want to stay with me it is OK, otherwise I can’t stop you from leaving” are the actual words”. It is difficult to equalize the things we did to each other, but I cannot forgive her now only to plot how to hurt her bad down the road. This is what she did to me. In her defence for my presenting the evidence, my “affair” constantly came up. She still refuses therapy and I am at a breaking point. She still claims she has not done anything wrong and I guess according to Laurie’s article this smells like the end. I refuse to believe that, but I guess it is a matter of time before more truth smacks me in the face and wakes me up from this illusion that I live in.
Try your hardest to focus only on the negative parts of the marriage. I am sure there were red flags from Day 1. Of course, there was also the time he drove an hour to meet you for a half hour, or sent you that funny email, or when he first told you he loved you. But those things pale in comparison to all the crappy stunts he’s pulled, so do your best to erase the positive incidents from your memory entirely. What good could it do to lead with the positives anyway? You’re trying to get through to him here, and the best way is to emphasize what a complete mistake this marriage was in the first place. Wait till you see how hard he tries to fix things once you’ve told him they are entirely unsalvageable!
If you try to change your boyfriend, he will feel pressure and it won’t keep him happy. If you focus on what you like about him, and his good traits, it will build confidence in him, and help him develop in positive ways. I’m not telling you to inflate his ego and ignore things that really bother you, but accept that no one is perfect, not even yourself.
My husband has cheated on more than 5 times since we got married3 years. He even done it while I was sick in the hospital due to our first child.These were not one night stand type of thing. He had emotional affairs(as far as I know, I highly suspected that he was also intimate with at least two women). Each affair lasted at least for 3 months. I have attempted to leave the marriage several times, but each time, my family and friends mediated us( I’m from a tradition were divorce is highly discouraged). Our last fight was November,2011.He denied the affairs each time and made me look like I was paranoid. He is always dismissing the situation and it’s always the same answer: were are “just friends” ,nothing is going on, “it’s not what it seems”. The ladies are all his coworkers…he is a contractor so he takes a new contract every few months and that’s when he starts the affair. He met the current woman he is talking to February,2012. I suspected he was at it again but I was afraid of finding out about it so I was avoiding it till yesterday, when he handed me his cellphone to check he’s new apps. I check his email and my worse nightmare come to life! He has been communicating with this lady at least 20 times a day! Note: She was let go of the company last week and he was still communicating with her, he even told her that he had a dream of her and asked her how she was doing.
Let me try to address the first one, your depression, I have many friends with clinical depression and they are all on anti-depressants, not a fan of meds, but they seem to work for them. Your husbands unhappiness, When someone is unhappy we all know that it is up to that person to figure it out, and really there is nothing we can do except offer support. Does your husband have a good relationship with his parents?
One of the most important things to do here is to communicate with him. Invite him to share his feelings with you and be open to criticism. Remember, this is exactly what will help you to pinpoint what is needed right now. When communicating with your husband help him to feel at ease and know that he shouldn’t be afraid of communicating with you about these things. Show him you’re in tune with his emotions, and you’re there to do what’s in your power.
First off I love CAPS myself but yours are too much. Use the caps lock in the other direction. With that said are there things going on that you did not speak of in your relationship? Is there sex and romance on a regular basis? Is their intimacy do you hug,cuddle,kiss,scratch and rub each others backs often? Is there physical intimacy and if not when did it stop? Was it ever there?
my husband when he came out of his cave came out like a grizzly bear willing to tear heads off when he was not allowed to have his way over time off , job choice and shift choice by seniority I have seen him break a mans back against a light pole because he was hounding my husband to work a fourth eight hour shift inhis place and let the man take us to a concert, I have seen my husband talking to four men about pulling his bid and when they said he could either go in under his own power and remove his bid or they would carry him in and the result would be the same he would remove his bid, My husbands answer was to grin and tell them to take whoever was whose wife , he could not tell the relationship or the way it worked with gay men and they could get off his porch, off his property and out of his face or he would kill them where they stood, then when the county commissioners son took the bait and the first swing it gave my husband all the rea, My husband paced around for onewson he needed to leave all four in bad condition heading for a trauma care to be placed in a critical care unit.
Well, sometimes is difficult to have certain conversations. However is important to try solve a situation rather than avoid it, feeling unhappy in a relationship is an important matter. Before the actual conversation there is some preparation I suggest to follow and always have worked personally for me. First of all think why you feel unhappy. When you have solved that, think what would you like to get out of the conversation. Do you want to work things out or end the relationship, if you don’t know is alright. Now you should have: firstly, a reason why you feel unhappy. Secondly the impact on you so far which is the fact you feel unhappy and finally an aim, which is what you are aiming to get out of the conversation. All you need now is to be calm and clear with your boyfriend. From the moment when he will have a clear picture of what is going on, it will be easier for both of you.
The best general advice I have is to learn how to let go of your husband. This doesn’t necessarily mean separation or divorce — though it could! More, it means getting yourself strong and healthy. Letting go means taking good care of yourself, so you can see what the next step is. Letting go is about getting strong so you can do what you need to do.
Think about ending things with your boyfriend. How do you feel? If you feel sad and heartbroken, okay. But if you immediately feel a sense of panic like, "But what would I do? Who would I hang out with? Then I'd be the only friend without a boyfriend. Who would buy me a Christmas gift? When would I meet someone new?" that's not okay. That means you're with this person because you don't want to be alone.
I have been struggling in my relationship for seven months. I have been in this relationship for almost three years common law and we have a 1.5 year old daighter. We each have a six year old from previous relationships as well. I know I’m settling. He’s brought major financial problems on this home – thankfully we have nothing joint in our finances so it was all in his name- but then I still have to overcompensate on the bills to make HIS half ends meet. He’s proven to be a pathological liar, after this long he still doesn’t accept my six year old son as his own- even though I have fully bonded with his six year old daughter, so much that I have a friendship with his ex. He goes through cycles of atleast 3 days a month where he won’t talk to me not even to respond in small talk- like I don’t exist and he plays mind games this entire time. He’s ripped me off $4000 and now he’s drug himself so far down he can’t really even cover his bills. I’ve almost left multiple times ( actually he’d be the one leaving cause he can’t afford this home) but keep giving him ” one more chance”. I’m not sure if I’m delusional thinking maybe one day he’ll come to the end of himself and grow up and that things will get better. But I’m finding mySelf feeling more trapped and unhappy. 90% of what has kept me here is my daughter I have with him . What do I do? How do I kick someone out that has nothing? How do I avoid being manipulated into giving him another chance ? How do I protect myself from his vindictiveness after I do end it ? Please, any advice will do. Of course there are so many other details but there isn’t enough time or space.
The best route may be to figure out WHY you’re not happy with your husband. You obviously respect and care for him…but you may not be “in love” with him. The thing is, we can’t always feel those passionate love bonds! Husbands and wives can’t possibly sustain the excitement of the first blush of love. They wouldn’t be able to go to work or cope with other aspects of life. So, maybe you don’t love him as a husband right now….but, in most normal healthy marriages, those feelings come and go. Feelings of romantic love do not remain constant.
I find it funny that people say they want someone with a sense of humor. I think almost everyone has a sense of humor it’s just not the SAME sense of humor. People with similar ways of viewing the world are, in my opinion, going to have a similar sense of humor. There are things that I say that my sister finds hilarious that others would not, but we share common background and how we see life, relationships, love, God, etc. are very similar. So being able to take those views and twist them in a way that we both find funny is very easy.
Of course if something is bothering you, make sure you tell him about it as well. These conversations should be calm and collected. You want to make sure that you both realize that you’re in a safe atmosphere where you can easily share and work on improving things together. Don’t panic if you’re having marriage trouble. Communication is key, and together you can reinforce the love and joy between you.
So you love him, you are not happy, he does not understand you nor your feelings. I think it's time you move on. I know it's as hard for you to acknowledge the fact as easy it is for me to point it out here. But believe me, it's the best thing to do. Love is way overrated and people misunderstand it a lot. If you are not happy all the time then it is not love. It just can't be. I strongly suggest you to move on and explore other areas of life. Don't feel bad if your love failed you. It's just a very small chapter in your life. Don't spoil the whole book just because of one torn page. You are the author. Fill it in and move on. Good luck :)
Sometimes we love those people who don’t love us back and as devastating as that is, all we can do is move on. I was in love with a guy for almost 6 years and I went through a lot of ups and downs. Out of the blue he basically told me he didn’t love me anymore and this is where our chapter ends. After 6 years, that’s all I got. I grappled with the thought for weeks and then I just accepted that this person no longer loved me. Regardless of how much love I poured into it, they didn’t even love me back or care. I was devastated, this happened months ago and I’m still devastated ya know but time heals everything. I know I gave it my all and that person decided that it wasn’t good enough for them. What do you do? You gotta pick up the pieces of your broken heart, take care of yourself, and move on. It’s not the end of the world, it just feels like it right now because your heart is broken. From one broken-hearted girl to the other, we are strong beautiful women and we will get through it. It was a setback but it’s not over for us. GOD bless you and I pray for peace, joy, and true love for you and anyone else suffering from an earth shattering heartbreak.
Hi FK, It’s one thing to get married with the expectation that our partner cares about us and our happiness and totally another thing to get married because we DEPEND on them for our feelings of worthiness and happiness. In the first case we are in control of our expectations and boundaries and in the second, we are trying to be in control of our partner. Self reliance requires us to accept responsibility for our own happiness and not hold others accountable for it through abdication. Of course, the concept of “self reliance” and its importance can be up for… Read more »