What’s happened as a result has been brilliant. I started tuning much more actively into my husband — prioritizing him, touching him regularly (holding his hand, sitting very close to him, hugging him, rubbing his shoulders, etc), more actively praising and appreciating him, and — crucially — not letting my ego get the best of me and not letting my need to be right lead to Armageddon. As a result, I have managed to bring out the best in my husband.
Hi i have been married now for 10 years I was married at 19 My husband and I have 2 great children but that seems like the only thing we have in common anymore. It seems like all we do is fight. I know I love him but not sure if it is a love of a spouse or more like a love of a brother. He works supports me and the girls he doesn’t cheat but has the most awful attitude anymore I don’t know if I want to leave or try and work it out sometimes I feel like i wish he would not come home for work Please help I am so confused
I agree with Brian, too. All my life, I would hear that women want men with a sense of humor. That always puzzled me, as I never found that I cared about that myself. Then, I was reading an article by another male dating advisor, I think linked from this site, and I got it. He was explaining how women are emotional beings, and when they say they want a man with a sense of humor, they’re really looking for an emotional connection. Aha! I could now relate to my own version of that: I always valued being friends with guys, so much so that sometimes when there was a guy I liked, I would envy his female friends more than his girlfriend–if their relationship appeard to me to be superficially based.
Give yourself time to grieve the idea that your boyfriend doesn’t love you or want you in his life anymore. It’s a huge, shocking blow. Don’t gloss over your disappointment, heartache, grief, pain, sadness, and fear. What helps me heal from terrible loss is writing. I write to express my pain. Other women turn to art, music, hiking in the woods or snow, swimming, decluttering the house, or traveling. Even reading can be an effective way to grieve the loss of a boyfriend’s love.
Hello everyone my name is Grace Richman from USA,Am writing this article to appreciate the good work of DR IGBA that helped me recently to bring back my husband that left me for another woman for no reason for the past 3 years. After seeing a post of a woman on the internet testifying of how she was helped by DR IGBA . I also decided to contact him for help because all i wanted was for me to get my husband , happiness and to make sure that my child grows up with his father. Am happy today that Dr IGBA helped me and i can proudly say that my husband is now with me again and he is now in love with me like never before. Are you in need of any help in your relationship like getting back your man, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, winning of lotteries, herbal cure for sickness or job promotion E.T.C. Viewers reading my post that needs the help of DR IGBA should contact him now on his E-mail: email@example.com ...
Last night we went out and really didn’t drink much at all. I was clear and sober through the entire night, and I thought he was too. We went to a couple of bars, had one drink at each, and moved on. When we got to the last one, my husband decided that we should have a shot of something, but I am not sure what it was, I was busy loading the jutebox with Christmas music. After the shot, I got a mild buzz, so I figured he did too. We left the bar and walked toward home. On the way home, it happened again. He started screaming at me about something having to do with my son and I walked away. I had no interest in another fight. He yelled at me to get out of his house and that I was not taking my son. I yelled back at him not to worry, I would and as he has no rights to my child, I would be taking him with me. My son, by the way, was at hhis grandmothers house, where he goes every Thursday and every other weekend for visitation with his grandparents and his father. My husband ran up behind me, grabbed me by my hair, and dragged me about a half a block back, telling me that I was not going back to the house, I was not welcome. He did this twice. Being that I was now in pain, I screamed for help both times, to which he replied that there was noone to help me. I called his sister, whose house it is that we lived at. By this point I was hysterical. When he realized who I called, he cussed at me and stormed off toward the house. I started walking the other direction, with the idea in my head that I would walk the 15 miles it was to my son’s grandmother’s house and sleep in the boat she has on the lawn. My sister-in-law came and picked me up, taking me back to her house. She told me to go to bed and lock the door, he would sleep on the couch. Now it is morning, he is alseep on the couch, and I am still angry that he had the nerve to threaten my relationship with my child. I am also a little scared, he had never put his hands on me before. I don’t know what to do. Any help would be appreciated.
When your husband is feeling under the weather, take care of him. Don't make fun of him because he's acting like a baby. Most likely, he is acting like a baby, but let him know you are there for him. Make him his favorite meal, go to the store to get medicine, and let him watch his favorite TV show. In the same respect, if he is just having a crappy day, give him his space and let him know that you are there for him if he needs you.
"Sometimes you just have to ask. Instead of discussing their unhappiness, people may let conflicts and resentments fester. Keeping silent about a perceived inequity or accepting behaviors over and over that are troubling may seem like one is being a good sport or taking the good with the bad. But speaking up is the only way to maintain true intimacy and closeness." —Singer
A lot of single and married women today believe that marriage is a means to an end – that all their problems will magically go away when the love of their life places a ring on their finger and they finally say “I do.” There is also an underlying expectation that the men in our lives will keep us happy at all costs. But despite the cues we get from the media, in fairy tales, and from those we believe are so happy around us, your relationship is not meant to keep you happy. Yes, your man should make you happy, but that is not the sole objective. We should be taking another path to happiness in our relationship – one that is more likely to get us where we need to be. This doesn’t begin with fixing our man, but with fixing our own hearts. Here are six things to do when your man can’t make you happy.
The only good life experience that I received from marriage was seeing my 3 kids born and growing. Add a dog to the mix. Lose a job. Get slapped with depression and a wife lacking the necessary support to her man and now you have a man that is no longer interested in being with her anymore. I do deep down inside care for my wife, but I have reached the end with respect to the criticism and the nagging regarding how we try to raise our kids. Also, there is a lot of the word “I” that comes from my wife’s pie hole during conversations with a marriage counselor and all I can think of is that I am married to myself.
From a woman’s point of view, you need to get out. For the sanity of yourself, and your children. Your wife has little to no respect for you, and from what you’ve said, herself. Her values are also not anywhere near in line with your own, as she believes that her actions are justifiable. I once was the woman who took advantage of wonderful, goodhearted men, and who cared about nothing more than having my ego fed. It is impossible to be in a relationship with a selfish person, unless you are a glutton for neglect and abuse. The fact that she is taking no responsibility for her actions, and manipulating you in a way that is intended to make you feel guilty for her wrong doings, also validates the fact that she is not only out for her own self indulging ways, but also that she has such little respect for you that she sees you as nothing more than a pawn. With you, she can have the upright lifestyle. Successful husband, children, home.. but because of your leniency in letting her manipulate you, she can also have her second life, for those she doesn’t mind displaying that too. I am not for divorce, at all. I believe that a couple must do everything in their power to rectify their marriage, ESPECIALLY when children are involved. However, there comes a time when you must stop slamming your head against the brick wall and accept that there is sometimes no way of changing a person, or their priorities. I suggest you file for divorce, and allow your wife to live the life that she seems to gravitate too. Remain an excellent father, for it seems you are the one who is most levelheaded and who your children must rely on, and move on. Those with a good heart, must be paired with someone who nurtures that heart, not destroys it. I know you may not yield to my advice, I was once the person on the victim side of an unhealthy relationship, but once you get out, you will be free of the emotional strain that this woman holds on your life. I wish the best for you, and for your children. All I ask is that through the process of divorce, if you choose to take that route, do not let anger or resentment rob you of the dignity and respect you deserve, from all parties.. most importantly your kids.
Started out an amazing sex life. About 4 years ago we started having problems in general and fighting a lot. Well he lost his job and our relationship got better. A lot better. We started having fun together all the time. My husband and I have an amazing “working” relationship. We never really fight anymore. The problem comes in here. 3 years ago I started to notice our sex life slipping so I asked him what he thought we should work on. He said it was too much work to have sex. So I took all the work out for him. Time went on and he still never had intrest in having sex and always turning me down 6 months went by and I freaked out on him and he said let’s start grunge to have a baby. We had sex 5 times over 2 months and got pregnant. I begged him and asked why why why he never wants me during the pregnancy. He could never answer me. We have talked about this soooo many times. Now my son is 7 months old. About 3 months ago was our last conversation about our sex life and he said you are just so cold and you never will let me near you!
Hi FK, It’s one thing to get married with the expectation that our partner cares about us and our happiness and totally another thing to get married because we DEPEND on them for our feelings of worthiness and happiness. In the first case we are in control of our expectations and boundaries and in the second, we are trying to be in control of our partner. Self reliance requires us to accept responsibility for our own happiness and not hold others accountable for it through abdication. Of course, the concept of “self reliance” and its importance can be up for… Read more »
If you often imagine a happy (happy is the key word here) future without your partner, that's a major sign that things aren't right. This is a part of the emotional detachment process, during which you may try to convince yourself that you don't care anymore so that the eventual separation feels less painful, says relationship therapist Jamie Turndorf, Ph.D., author of Kiss Your Fights Goodbye. "Detaching psychologically by fantasizing about having an affair or making plans for the future that don't include your partner can all be signs that you've fallen out of love," says Turndorf. "It's as if the mind has pulled its own plug so our hearts won't suffer as much when the relationship ends." If you notice this mental pattern, take it a step further to see if the fantasy holds weight. Gadoua suggests checking out real apartment listings online, and paying attention to how you feel. "It'll give you another layer of reality, which can then help you know what the right next step is," she says. As you click through, check in with your emotions. If excitement or relief is your prominent emotion (rather than fear or apprehension), it may be a sign to acknowledge that there are serious problems in your marriage. "But before actually taking steps to leave, see if there are things you can — or want — to do to work on the relationship," says Gadoua. That way, if you ultimately decide to leave, "you can do so with some peace of mind," she says. "It's never easy to end a relationship, but having lingering regret that you could have done more can make the decision harder."