Examples of this behavior are “when everything seems like it's going great and then they all of sudden don't return any of your texts, or wait five-plus hours before texting you back when you usually text constantly, or you don't set the next date plan for a week, or not at all even, and your typical relationship modus operandi is to always have the next date planned at the end of the previous one.”
My bf and I have been fighting quite a bit lately. We both are tired of it. But I try and talk to him about our problems so our relationship gets better but he isn’t one to communicate about that. Which only makes it harder to work things out. He then said that he’s not happy with me because all I do is fight with him. Which I do because he never talks about our problems like I said earlier. I then asked why he is with me and he said because he hopes I grow up (as in me not fighting with him) and because he loves me. I just don’t know why he would be with me but not be happy. I then text him this morning telling him that if he’s not happy then break up with me. And then he goes on saying he never said he wasn’t happy.ugh guys can be so confusing.
No stress to look good all the time. You could stress out about how you look and let a man judge you for what you wear or what you look like without makeup. Or, you could say screw it and realize how happy you are wearing whatever the hell you want. Without a man, you could spend a week in the same clothes without a shower if you want. I don’t recommend that, but you get what I mean. You get to dress for you, not someone else.
Hi, my husband and i has only been married for 6 months when he started cheating on me, before that we were in a long distance relationship for 5 years, he was overseas while i lived in Australia and I have waited long time for us to be finally together. I’m his second wife and i thought that things would be different for us. From the tme i found out about the cheating which is through social media chatting, I hid it from all the people including my family for i was protecting him until such time that he emotionally abuse me and went his way to see her and commited adultery.
"Can you recall a time when you weren't feeling like your best self or perhaps a time when you were questioning whether you should stay or flee, hide or speak up?" Chelsea Leigh Trescott, a breakup coach, told INSIDER. "Start there. It will show your significant other that there is no shame to be feeling how they are feeling, and it will offer them hope that hey can bounce back."
“I want out of my marriage and can’t figure out why I can’t just be happy with this great guy,” says Donna on How to Live With a Husband You Wish You Never Married. “My relationship is safe and comfortable; he’s my best friend. But at what point is he supposed to move beyond my best friend and be my partner? I’m not sure we’ve ever had that connection that seems so vital to me. He disagrees. It would almost be easier if I had tangible reasons for wanting to leave (abuse, anger, neglect). All I have is saying that I’m just unhappy even though he’s a great guy. He doesn’t take care of himself like I wish he would, but he’s still a good husband. I feel like such a failure because I can’t just be happy with what I have.”
My husband and I have known each other for 20 years, and been married for the past 8. We have two adorable children who we both cherish. Since having the kids though, 5 years ago, our marriage has become unbearable. My husband has been through serious issues which led to depression, and has to his own belief, now dealt with the issues. During the time of his issues, he had two incidents, at least that I know about, with other women, and over the past 8 years with his behaviour, my trust has been stripped away and I am left with no trust in him whatsoever. He now continues to tell me he wants the marriage and he is in love with me, but I find it hard to believe when after 2 years of trying to work things out, we are still no further along than when we hit rock bottom 2 years ago. He continues to be thoughtless, and my anger and emotions hit sky high every time he stuffs up. I know I should be forgiving, but I find it harder and harder these days. I have told him I hate him and that I want him out. I cannot ever see a loving future between us, and I hate the kids seeing me this way. Also our intimacy has completely gone out the window. We have not been intimate in almost 3 years. It’s so depressing. Although I want the marriage ended, I can’t help thinking “Would I be so angry and upset and emotional, if I no longer cared?” Any advice on whether I should give him a go for the thousandth time, or just cut my losses and run?
known my wife 50 yes been married 43, Can’t stand to talk to her,eat with her be around her.I have so much animosity toward her I get ill just looking at her. For the last 20yrs its like talking to wall.She never does what she says she will do. I feel like i have been beating a dead horse.Try everything to save marriage but nothing has worked So now I have shut down.We are just existing together.We got married at the age of 21 me and her 19.Tried to have affair felt to guilty could not perform.No sex or contact of any kind just passing time. Lord how it ever get this screwed up.
Me and my husband have been together for 8years and we’ve been through alot. He is very jealous and he thinks if I go out, im going to be cheating. I never go out but he goes out every weekend. He always calls me names and talks about the way I look..He doesnt help me financialy with my daughters and he doesnt even take care of his daughters. Its been like this since I had my kids. what should I do.. because i seriously dont have any feelings for him anymore.
Women like to complain about men’s socks scattered around the house but they also sometimes have annoying or strange habits. We like to occupy the bathroom for 2 hours and chat with our girlfriends as much as possible, fill the wardrobe with unnecessary stuff, eat from our boyfriend’s plate, or keep singing the same song all day long. Loving men, as a rule, endure all this and remain silent or react with humor. If your man is constantly scrutinizing every little thing you do and making negative comments about your behavior, it means that the only feeling he has left is irritation instead of love.
When two people have been together for a long time and have developed a routine and have accumulated a large plate of responsibilities, it’s not uncommon for one or both of the partners to start feeling overwhelmed. Sometimes there’s just a lot of pressure and a person involuntarily takes it out on their spouse. This can lead to a person feeling unappreciated and/or resentful…
If you do or give something to your husband, do it because you love him, not because you believe you have to sacrifice. Highlighting our sacrifices and dedication often only represents our desperate attempts to control someone by shame or guilt. But, you don’t want to wheedle love and understanding, you want to enjoy it in abundance and count on it in your marriage.
You don’t necessarily need to leave him…maybe you just need a trial separation. Maybe you both need some time and space to figure out what you want your marriage to be like, and to decide if you can build a happy marriage together. Maybe the prospect of divorce is what your husband needs, to snap him out of his slump! And if he does have Asperger’s, maybe the thought of losing you will encourage him to get help.
As you probably see, sometimes it is worth to let go or to reflect on your own behavior. Although women are mostly called the queens of drama and the ones who search for problems, there are many aspects that bother men in a relationship as well. And since the relationship should be fulfilling, motivating and happy for each partner, remember about mutual concern, acceptance, and commitment.
I have to agree with lonelywife. I was happily married up until the 8th year and I dont know what happened. Its like I woke up oneday and my marriage and life are in shambles. I was married prior to another man for 3 years – who abused me physically and mentally. I left him because CPS threated to take my son away if they got another call for domestic violence. Then I met my current husband – who was my knight in shining armor to save and protect me. He raised my son from my prior relatioship and we have had one together since then. Hes commited infidelity a few times to me (that I have rock solid proof of – there could be more that I dont know about). bUt i felt we could work throught it. Now.. I feel alone. I work 2 jobs, take the kids to school/daycare, pay all the bills etc. I go through my routine everyday and there is no time with my husband. He doesnt participate in anything. I am hopeless. I keep having dreams that I am hanging in the closet by shoe strings and my family keeps walking by me like Im not there. Its very sad. I am very sad and loney.
This message meant for faiza. Don't be afraid of the future dear... speak to him openly... and tell him how much you love him and there is nothing which can replace him in your life. Tell him without him you will not be there. and the very important thing is, when you speak to him don't be harsh and don't tend to question him(why are you doing so...etc). speak to him like you already understood the situation. And show the affection like he is your son. Make him understand that you will be there for him in every aspect of life..... ........don't cry in front of him suddenly..let him understand you need him. After that if you need to cry you can::)).I mean control your emotions a while please.
I adore this man(I wouldn’t have married him otherwise) and really want this relationship to work but I do not know what to do. If we did separate, I’d be homeless and penniless. My mental health is getting worse( I have minor problems as a result of a head trauma several years ago, the compensation being the reason I left work, so he knows all about it) and no self esteem. I have already tried committing suicide once.
Learn to show unselfish love to your husband. Love can be measured. If you truly love your husband and you show it all the time, he will be able to compare your love with those of other strange women and will be afraid to take the steps that may eventually consume him and the family. You can display this by resolving your marital problems in the spirit of love.
Hi and thanks for your site. I love it! I’ve been married going on 3 months but have been with my husband for 2 years prior to marriage. I don’t know where to begin. I feel like I am going crazy and I don’t know what to do. I feel that my husband is a good man but we have a lot of issues to work on. I came from an abusive household but my husband didn’t. we both very bad tempers and there has been a lot of mean words said and physical violence on both of our parts. Whenever we argue my husband always brings up my childhood to deflect what it is that I have a problem with even though I’ve asked him not to do this. For example, he works long hours 6 days a week while I go to school 5 days a week 6 hours a day and do all of the household chores including laundry, cleaning, dishes, grocery shopping , and I always have a hot meal prepared for him when he gets home plus getting up early in the morning to make him breakfast and a lunch for work. He does absolutely nothing but work. On his day off he spend 12-16 hours playing videogames. When I asked him when we would spend time together he told me that he wanted to have fun and was playing the game. I asked if he meant that playing a videogame was more fun than hanging out with me and he said yes. Then he proceeded to put me down for not doing the laundry in a timely manner.
If leaving is not an option because of your pregnancy or beliefs, then you need to figure out how to be happy in your marriage situation. I guess that means not expecting your husband’s family to change, and deciding that you want to stay married and raise your children in his parents’ home. If you can’t leave, and you can’t change your husband or his family, then you need to change yourself so you can be happy.
Try to determine the cause of your boyfriend’s mood. Ask him if he had a bad day at work, a fight with a friend or if he lost something important to him. Learning the cause behind his mood is the first step to dealing with it. Don’t be offended if he doesn’t want to talk. He may not answer, but just asking shows him that you care and gives him an invitation to talk when he’s ready.
My husband suggested that I start spending more time alone with God. So I did. At first, I found it hard to pray. I found that I lost focus easily and my thoughts wandered. But after a while I started just talking out loud to keep myself awake. I started journaling my thoughts and prayers, and reading Bible stories in the Gospels. And I found myself in the story of Mary and Martha. I realized that I was Martha, scurrying around, trying to make sure things were perfect for everyone else, when God really just wanted me to focus on being Mary.
If you want to stop your husband from having an affair and save your family finance, you have to cultivate a generous disposition. While occasional giving to your spouse can produce moments of happiness, a generous disposition can engender a state of happiness. Generosity can be expressed in many ways. One of the best ways, and often the most appreciated, is when you give yourself completely to your partner.
We can't all have flat stomachs and perfectly applied makeup at all times. But, you can do simple things for him (and yourself) to show him your beauty. Sometimes marriages can put us in a rut, and we no longer think it's necessary to look nice for our spouse. Brush your teeth, take a shower, and leave the ratty sweatpants in the drawer. Do yoga when you can, wear your favorite little sundress, and flaunt what you have! Your husband will likely return the favor and make himself look amazing!
I’m sorry. I did misunderstand. I thought it was three exwives. I know you pain…I just gave up on my husband love more than life today. Our spouses have OCPD obsessive Compulsive Personalty Disorder which is not the same as OCD. Read about it. It was not till I read about it that I understood. I can do nothing right…I never have. I make twice his salary and take care of monetary things more so than he does. He bitched, groans,complains, cuts be down, I can do nothing right, clean nothing right, he dominates every minute of my time when he is here and when he isn’t here. Leaves me lists of work to do to keep me busy on my off days and I work 50 hours per week…I’m exhausted with him and it’s taking scroll on my health. The rants, fits and rage…I just can’t take…I gave up today and told him I wanted a divorce..I just wanna die
@lonelywife I’m sorry to have upset you, I didn’t mean my comment as a smug or I’m better than someone else type comment. I meant is as a push towards taking every effort to stay together – not for people with abusive partners- absolutely not, they should protect themselves emotionally and/or physically. I am on here because I just found out about my family member that revealed their marriage is just a piece of paper now and they are living separately under the same roof. They are actually good friends and seem fine with it but have children – and I think they just missed out on date night (which they did) for 5 years and could give themselves a second chance. That is why I was searching out for information on marriages and divorce. I just know my parents and my husband’s parents have been together for over 30 years each and they went in ups and downs, it wasn’t all perfect of course, but they are still happy they are together through everything. Love is a funny thing, and some people have what it takes to be life long partners and there are a lot of benefits to that for themselves AND their children – and then there are people who just aren’t good together period. I just think people in our generation are getting too caught up in what makes them happy in the moment without really valuing what they have built thus far together and the long term future – especially if they are having fun meeting someone new without giving their marriage a full chance. Hope you understand where I was coming from now.
One option is to give yourself what your husband can’t give you. For instance, he is not there for you when you’re sick or stressed out. It’s all about him, because he’s selfish. So you need to accept that he can’t give you what you need, and you have to find ways to give yourself the love, compassion, and kindness that you need. Maybe that means making friends who will nurture you, or listening to music that makes you feel better, or writing your feelings down.
While it's healthy to go out and see your own friends, these people shouldn't take preference over your relationship. "If your partner always seems to have other plans and doesn't include you, it's a red flag that they aren't happy," Hershenson says. Speak up if your SO seems to care about their social life than what's best for you/the relationship.
Stop by the grocery store or bakery on your way home and pick up his favorite treat. Book a weekend away together. Give him a massage when he gets home. It's not always the job of a man to do these kinds of things. As a dedicated wife, you must surprise your husband and remind him of the fun woman he fell in love with. Believe me; he will appreciate the gesture and be thrilled that you did something so thoughtful.
Many women stay in relationships longer than they should because they tend to put the needs of others before their own. And since women often naturally take on the role of caretakers, they can lose parts of their own identity — and a sense of their own needs — in the process. "In order to face her relationship unhappiness, a woman needs to stop distracting herself by putting other people's needs ahead of her own," says Gadoua. "Doing this can be a way of avoiding her own painful truth." So if you find yourself getting unnecessarily involved in a fight between your mother and sister, or you're always rushing around trying to make other people's lives easier, it might be time to take a hard look at your own relationship.