We’ve talked about this when he is okay again. I’ve told him that he is unpredictable when he is that way. I’ve told him I can not and will not live this way and neither will the kids. Once he gets the whatever it is out of his system, he’s right as rain. He acts like nothing ever happened. I feel like he has been trying to do better, but now there are other issues.
This is just a good standard practice in a relationship, and it’s great for nudging a loved one out of a slump. It involves really seeing them, the contributions they make, and highlighting them. If your partner works long hours and then takes on a lot of the work at home in the evenings so that you can pursue your passions, acknowledge them for that. If they’re giving of their time and patience with your family, let them know you notice that.

I guess I am not the only one. He cheated on me multiple times. He kept texting other girls but wont text me. I saw a girl dressing up in his bedroom on his phone but he told me a friend visited with his girlfriend and they took his phone. I had to believe him because I love him. He will break up with me when he goes through my phone and realize a guy texted me. Just recently, I went to the house and the while place was locked but he was inside with a woman. I went to the back where the bedroom window is and I heard him talking with a woman. I called and he told me he’s not home. Am just devastated. What is wrong with me? Am I not beautiful enough?


Me and my boyfriend had our 2 year anniversary about a week ago, and he went out drinking for his friends birthday the next day. When he came back (at 4 am), we had an argument which ended up with him telling me that he’s not sure if he loves me anymore and also that his friends have been trying to get him to leave me. I was heart broken, I couldn’t stop crying, and I didn’t want to be in the same room as him. I told him that I still love him and he told me that he does love me, but at the same time he doesn’t know if he is IN love with me anymore. We decided for him to move back in with his family, so that he can figure out whats been going on in his head. He’s told me numerous times that I haven’t done anything and that this is his fault. We’ve been messaging each other since he moved out and he’s stopped saying ‘I love you’, ‘I miss you’ and also calling me beautiful. I say it all to him instead and he just ignores it. I don’t know what to do, he’s said that he’s trying to sort himself out, but it just seems like he’s pushing me away.
A year later, I still wake up crying and enraged. Because I moved to another continent for his (what I thought was ) temporary job, I am far from my community of close friends and my family. I have a few good friends here but not like at home. In talking with other single moms, I have chosen to stay out of the court sytem. I will seek a property settlement first and then in a year (at almost 50 years old), try to make it happen to finally GO HOME , with my daughter. And even then, I know it will not be easy. She will be in her mid-teens by then and I will be bringing her up on my own. But, then it will be up to her father to decide what his priorities are. This is not the life I wanted for me, for her, for any of us. I never, never would have done this to him. NEVER!
If your boyfriend is trying to change the way you behave or the way you are in general that definitely means that he`s unhappy in your relationship. If you don`t feel like making any changes, let him know about it. If he gives an ultimatum, do you really want to be with such a person? Love yourself, respect yourself and don’t allow anyone, including your man, ruin your individuality. Discuss things both of you want to change and think about what each of you can do to improve your relationship without making a sacrifice.
3. You’re overvaluing a specific type of humor. In your words, “I love the challenge and excitement that witty banter provides me.” Marriage isn’t about challenge and excitement. It’s about kindness, comfort and selflessness. If your boyfriend has these qualities, you may want to learn to appreciate him instead of constantly lamenting that he doesn’t do stand-up on the side. When you said your exes have “never been the “life of the party,” making me “double over in laughter,” I could probably intimate that it’s a good thing. Life of the party guys may be charismatic, but they are often narcissistic, players, liars and inauthentic. Not all of them. But guys who command attention often don’t leave much air for everyone else to breathe.
If your boyfriend is trying to change the way you behave or the way you are in general that definitely means that he`s unhappy in your relationship. If you don`t feel like making any changes, let him know about it. If he gives an ultimatum, do you really want to be with such a person? Love yourself, respect yourself and don’t allow anyone, including your man, ruin your individuality. Discuss things both of you want to change and think about what each of you can do to improve your relationship without making a sacrifice.
Try to determine the cause of your boyfriend’s mood. Ask him if he had a bad day at work, a fight with a friend or if he lost something important to him. Learning the cause behind his mood is the first step to dealing with it. Don’t be offended if he doesn’t want to talk. He may not answer, but just asking shows him that you care and gives him an invitation to talk when he’s ready.
Me and my boyfriend have been going out fpr 4 years and he broke up with me because im to contolling because he has asked me for space in the past but i didnt give it to him because i was afraid.of loosing him and clingy. I love him alot and dont want to loose him but he tells me he doesnt want me to fight for him because its to late fot that! He stood me up and told.me he doesnt want to see me anymore and everything between us is over☹️ we haven't had "no" contact for the past week. I dont kmow how to get him back amd i definitly dont want to loose him because i love him& been through so much with him already :/

"Can you recall a time when you weren't feeling like your best self or perhaps a time when you were questioning whether you should stay or flee, hide or speak up?" Chelsea Leigh Trescott, a breakup coach, told INSIDER. "Start there. It will show your significant other that there is no shame to be feeling how they are feeling, and it will offer them hope that hey can bounce back."


If leaving is not an option because of your pregnancy or beliefs, then you need to figure out how to be happy in your marriage situation. I guess that means not expecting your husband’s family to change, and deciding that you want to stay married and raise your children in his parents’ home. If you can’t leave, and you can’t change your husband or his family, then you need to change yourself so you can be happy.
The issue I have been really struggling with is how he will take me leaving mentally and physically. He has told me in the past that he has thought of committing suicide. I later found out that he told me this to get a reaction out me. In addition to that, he has a certain disease and stress causes it to flare up. I am afraid when I make this move, it will cause him to really hit rock bottom.
During that time I suspected many times that he was also seeing other women. I found snippits of evidence and I almost left him a few times but he always had an explanation for what I’d found and swore he was telling the truth. He would even get angry that I would accuse him. I told myself that even if there was no proof, next time there was even a whisper of something dodgy I would leave. Everything seemed ok for a couple of years so we got married. I thought I would be more secure with him once we got married, and then we had a baby and I started to feel even more like things were going right … until that familiar feeling that something was wrong returned … followed by a new secret password on his computer and a constantly locked shed. I KNEW something was wrong but I couldn’t find any evidence. When I demanded him to unlock the shed or remove the password he got furious and said that I was in the wrong to snoop. I remembered my vow to myself but now I had a son to think about.
I remember when my ex-husband came home from work and stated seriously, “we need to talk.” I wasn’t expecting the conversation that followed, and later as I sat alone crying I wondered what I had done, and also what hadn’t I done right. I racked my brain trying to pinpoint the cause of his words that rang in my ears. His words of, “I’m not happy anymore.”
After reading all this I just had to post my story in a short paragraph , I been with my boyfriend 4 years and half . We had a baby not so long ago he just turned one . And he’s telling me he’s not in love with me anymore that he just wants to be free and explore the world after we had plans of getting married we had almost everything planned out . We had our ups and down but that’s any relationship . And am here just thinking my baby is just 1 year old and I wanted him to grow in a family something that I never had , and I guess he won’t either . He tells me everyday he doesn’t want to try but it’s just so hard I always end up going back to him but he refuses me and it just hurts I feel I need to give me my place but I always end up going to him …..
I waa his frst choice..he was my life..but 5 month back all get changed. He doesnt want ne in his life..i asked him that y he is doing dis. He replied to me by saying that i am not that girl who he was thinking..from last few months i tried my level bst to save my relation with him but he didnt tried a single time. He always used ti say that he will leave hin if i will doubt him. He always show his temper if i disobey his words. He get angry when i say anything related to love or attachement. He has changed his self..what shuld i do?.. i love him badly..and i can imagine my lyf with him only and no one else..
If your relationship has become one big boring routine, that's not good. If you guys always do the same thing - get food at the same place, watch TV, see a movie or lay in bed - it's a sign that something is wrong. You need to switch things up in order for there to be excitement. It's easy to fall into that pattern, but what matters is how you get out of it. My boyfriend and I do the same thing a lot during the week, but on weekends we try to have special date nights. We also always try to go on little vacations or go skiing. If you're not doing this stuff, it's probably because you're really bored.
Our relationship is been very good over the years but about 2 or 3 years ago, she confronted me saying that she has lost interest in making love. First I thought that it could be her hormone problem and didn’t occur to me that we need to get help about it. We do continue having sex but not making love. She doesn’t even response to whatever I do to her, like romancing and foul play. Even when having sex, she said that it is painful and we need to use lubricant. Every time when we having sex, I don’t really get the satisfaction but feeling bad about it.
Start by evaluating why you are unhappy. Then consider when your partner/boyfriend might be receptive to hearing you. Do not wait until an argument, or until the next trigger for your unhappiness. Try and think of realistic, positive outcomes and how to achieve them. Maybe after a fun activity, or during a private moment, try asking them what they think about the problem. Start small. And be open minded! Sometimes the problem looks different once you lay it out on the table. Remember, this is a relationship -- you have to be able to give AND take!
In our 13 years of marriage, my husband has had 6 jobs - I think he is always searching for something and simply not finding it. We've also literally travelled the world. (Which was his goal.) Recently, in the last few months, he lamented that we traveled as much as we did because we don't have anything to show for it, and here we are still renting and not owning a house. He is frustrated we spent the money on the travels, rather than buying a house.
and I so badly want my marriage to work, not just for myself and my wife but my kids as well. My wife had a hard childhood. Her dad left when she was 10 and wasn’t involved in a good way until 8 years ago when his dad died and he told her he wanted to “make-up” for all the old wounds. Around the same time my wife went though depression. There were times she couldn’t get off the easy chair in our living room for days. She went to counciling and did the antidepressant thing and her therapist helped her decide she needed to go back to work. She had been a stay at home mom by her own choice for 12 years. She is a well paid professional in the medical field and was able to find a great, high paying job that she really likes right away. Almost as soon as she went back to work, she started spending more and more time there and with her “new friends” she works with. I have tried to be supportive and have left my job early to pick up the kids so she could stay late, go out with her friends, etc. At the same time she stopped having sex with me. We’ve been intimate maybe 5 times in the last 5 years and up until then had what she described as a great sex life. I’ve tried to find out what she wants or needs but she can’t tell me other then “not me”. Last week she told me that she is unhappy and that “part of me wants to stay and work things out, part of me doesn’t”. I asked her to read Mort Fertel’s book and do “Marriage Fittness” with me and she has read the first couple chapters but isn’t really committed. Our house has become quite messy due to her being unwilling to clean or cook dinner and she asked me to help get things more orginized and we have started that. The problem is she hasn’t changed any of her behaviors and comes home and just goes into a shell and finds ways to get me upset. Then she says something like “Well, that attitude just makes me want to read that book and work on things sooo much”! She only talks about her work and her friends from work and when I try to talk about anything else she withdraws and is uninterested. It’s been 8 years of her being withdrawn from me and 5+ without sex or affection. Now that I know she actually is at the point that she wants to end our marriage as much or more then save it, I’m having trouble being patient. She has totally ruled out going to councilling or therapy (it doesn’t work and is a waste of time and money) and while she agreed to “read” Mort’s book she hasn’t agreed to do anything and when I asked her what she thought of the part she has read she said “Well, I guess I can see what he’s talking about…” which isn’t making me think she will do anything but read the book. While for the last 15 + years I was the sole income earner, right now I’m not making any money due to the firm I was with closing after 9 years there. I’m working with a start-up and I hope that I’ll be making just as much or more then I had been and she does and we have savings so money isn’t yet a big problem but she is worried about it and I know she doesn’t like making the money. When I asked her what she needs she has said the biggest thing is she wants to move from our house to a better, bigger one so she probably feels that because I’m not yet making the money I had been that will be delayed but again, (It’s only been about 4 months since I lost my old job) she doesn’t have a reason to doubt I will be back to making good money again soon. I’m starting to feel “Why should I go into debt for 30 years with someone who isn’t going to even try to fix our marriage. There’s more of a chance that all that will happen is I’ll lose everything in a divorce”. I don’t know what to say when I’m told how wonderful I am and how it would be easier if I was an awful husband, father, etc. I feel so damn helpless and I know that sooner rather then later I’m going to hit a point where I can’t take it any more. I really am afraid that the woman who said before we got married “I don’t believe in divorce. When I get married it’s forever and will work to fix any problems to see to it”! is going to leave and destroy my family. I would appriciate any help you can give. Thank you.
When people have exciting news to share or even just need someone to talk to, they typically speed dial the person closest to them. If that used to be your spouse but is now someone else — whether that's a girlfriend or another man — it's a clear sign you're not in the happy marriage you used to be. "Research shows that in healthy marriages, couples celebrate each other's successes. If you're turning to [someone else] first in good times and bad, then you're replacing your husband emotionally and avoiding addressing what isn't working with him," says Dr. Paulette Sherman, psychologist, director of My Dating and Relationship School and author of Dating from the Inside Out. Try putting your husband into your #1 spot again. If you're not getting the support you need — or you don't even want it in the first place — it might be time to sit down and have a serious discussion about your relationship.
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