But if you look at Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, possessions are at the bottom. We need certain things to survive - food, shelter, clothing, but after that possessions don't actually increase the meaningfulness of our lives, and we need to start looking elsewhere: friendships, intimacy, and goals that serve a greater good beyond our own self interest.
Just recently out of nowhere-my b.f. stopped talking to me for 2 weeks as if I did something wrong. I was perplexed to say the very least. I couldn’t figure it out. This isn’t the 1st time this has happened- but usually after a few days he shakes it off and all is right in his world (which he shares w/ me). I’m Obviously seeking out some kind of answer to what I need to do in my situation& the bottom line is…that I need to put my needs first. I have my own issues that I’ve swept under the rug for so many years. KI’ve been so busy trying to make him happy that my needs were not addressed. I’ve ignored and neglected myself & I’m really starting to feel it. I Feel that if I lead by example & begin my quest to a healthier me- then he may just follow in my footsteps. If not…then I really have no choice but to leave him behind….which would really break my
So I’ve been married since July 2010. Ever since i have been so unhappy. I tried being the “perfect” wife in the beginning & then soon realized I was taking care of EVERYTHING; my husband, the dog, our car, the house, finances, even doing the “man chores”. I started getting tired and am never feeling appreciated. During the holiday’s it is a pain to get him to celebrate or be romantic in any way. He never does anything out-of-the-blue for me and I am still stuck picking up after him and doing favors for him, but he never is returning it. We have been in multiple areguments about this & he says he understands & is sorry, but never shows it. He sometimes will do a favor now, but i get so annoyed & don’t even want to ask anymore because he’ll do it half ass and take the easy way, so i end up having to go back & do it anyways… PLUS he doesn’t even know how to fix or build things. I am always fixing our car, hammering down wall mounts & pictures, messing around in the yard, etc, etc…
And just a word on sarcasm.  I discovered the rush of sarcasm in my teens.  I had a sharp, witty, sarcastic comeback for everything.  I have to say I was a bit full of myself in that area.  I thought being able to have a comeback for everything actually had value.  One day my sister told me that what I had said didn’t make her feel good, she asked me if I ever stopped to think about how those remarks affected other people.  I had never stopped to think about that, but I did then.  Sarcasm is “humor” with an ugly twist, tread lightly.
At the same time, my husband and I started working on PureCouples. We launched the website in 2016, and I started blogging about marriage and relationships more regularly. Blogging made me feel like I had something to contribute to the world beyond changing diapers and doing laundry. People across the world read my blog and found it helpful, and more importantly, I loved the feeling of satisfaction I got from writing. Writing made me feel like my world had clicked into place.
The only good life experience that I received from marriage was seeing my 3 kids born and growing. Add a dog to the mix. Lose a job. Get slapped with depression and a wife lacking the necessary support to her man and now you have a man that is no longer interested in being with her anymore. I do deep down inside care for my wife, but I have reached the end with respect to the criticism and the nagging regarding how we try to raise our kids. Also, there is a lot of the word “I” that comes from my wife’s pie hole during conversations with a marriage counselor and all I can think of is that I am married to myself.
Premarital Cycling. Dating, then breaking up, then getting back together before marriage predicts lower marital quality and stability. This is common in relationships, but it doesn’t mean it’s good for them. This kind of instability early on sets a precedent for how open partners can be with each other. i.e. “If I talk about this with him/her, he/she will get overwhelmed because last time I brought something like this up, he/she needed a break from me. I’ll just keep it to myself.” This is a dangerous pattern to fall into. It’s important to feel safe and secure in a marriage for it to stay healthy and have longevity.
Over the years I’ve spoken with more than a handful of female friends after their discovery of infidelity by their husbands. Naturally they’re always highly distraught over the situation, no matter the details, but there seems to be a singular theme I notice. Of all the different couples and varying circumstances involved there’s always one thought that prevails in each of these women. 

Ultimately the key thing here — whether it’s just moodiness or a more serious depression — is that he feels it’s out of his control. I know how it must feel that way, and that depression (if that’s what Katie’s boyfriend has) can create this vicious cycle where you feel hopeless about life — so why take action to fix it? But that first step is acknowledging the problem and perhaps how it’s affecting you and your loved ones and then getting some help. You can help them down the path a little once they get going, but only they can really take that first important step — which is ultimately one of taking responsibility.
Hi, we are just the same but for me we don’t have a baby and I think he doesn’t want to have a baby with me😭😭, we’re married for almost 2 months and my husband told me that he never feel the satisfaction during our sex, i was so sad when he told me that it broke my heart so bad, then I ask him if what can I do to make him satisfy he just told me to pray for him, I’m so depressed and sad when he told me that😭😭
It is important to address your unhappiness as soon as possible, according to licensed clinical psychologist Willard F. Harley, Jr., in the article "When Should You Tell Your Spouse, 'We Have a Problem,'" on the website, Marriage Builders. "Don't let your problems build up before you find solutions," he says. Easily resolvable issues can become major problems if you hide your feelings for too long. Although it is important to get your general message to your husband, before you talk to him think about what, specifically, is making you unhappy. For instance, if your husband expects you to be a stay-at-home mom but you would like to work, tell him. Using specifics will give you and your husband an idea of what steps to take to make you feel more satisfied.
When we had a big fight just this MArch, it was so hard to reconcile because of our situation. He was there and I am here. He doesn’t want to talk to me, or to my son. He doesn’t want to solve the problem! The situation stayed like that for almost a month. Without communication. Then he came home because he had an accident. I thought we would be make peace then. But he blamed the accident on me. He doesn’t want to connect with me anymore, though he said he would try. We had a big fight at home and he finally said that he doesn’t want to fight because the children will be affected. When I asked him if he still loves me, he said “I don’t know” and he was angry for making him answer that and he said he needed time. When his sick leave was over, he left again for work.
"Each partner should be able to find three things they are grateful for each day about their partner and share it with them. Whether it's gratitude for working hard, cleaning up the house, or taking care of the children, complimenting your loved one leads to increased positivity in the relationship. If they can't think of three things, this is a red flag they are unhappy."  —Kimberly Hershenson, individual and couples therapist based in NYC
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Why is it that in the beginning, we don’t get bothered that much about things that later in marriage drive as crazy? If you think it’s because back then you were unrealistically in love, then remember, how many times did you hear people who lost someone saying how they would give anything to be around things that once were so annoying to them. What is that telling you?
He resents you for having an affair. Plain and simple. It appears he is avoiding dealing with these feelings, which is leading him more and more into a downward spiral. The fact that he moved out, is indicative that he is involved with someone else (there's no reason he would need to move out to be depressed, he can do that at home). He needs to see a therapist, and start dealing with these issues instead of avoiding them.
Often, men become withdrawn because their life isn't what they anticipated it would be. If you feel this may be a contributing factor in how your spouse is feeling, create new experiences for you two to share in. Surprise him with a week away or arrange for him to participate in something that he loves to do, whether it's working out at the gym or restoring an old car. Sometimes when a man has something new and exciting to focus on, it will change his entire attitude and you'll start to see his sunny disposition shining through again.

"Wife" and "independent woman " seems to be a contradiction BUT..anyway, one point is good to remember(just my opinion) is that if you're too proud (stephanie) or lazy to do these things, there is a woman somewhere watching and waiting. She do these things for him. She is at his job, church golf resort, gym. she's your best friend or even your relative. I think women have an instinctive way to tell that a man isn't being taken care of at home. Get rid of pride and take care of your man.
How to get over someone you have to see everyday?My long-term boyfriend told me that my mental health has affected him and he just wants to be friends as though nothing more ever happened. This really hurts me. What should I do?Can or should I ask my significant other to stop talking and to not associate with his ex? If so, how? How do I know if I'm in a toxic relationship?Why are we fighting over small and stupid things?What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?He said I was perfect for him, but he chose someone else?I regret breaking up with my ex. What should I do?How to get closure from my ex? I feel I need it.I love two different people. What should I do?
I KNOW WHAT EVERYONE IS FEELING AND STATING MY HUSBAND OF 21 YEARS DECIDES ONE DAY HE WANTS A DIVORCE HE NEEDS TO FIND HIMSELF AND MAKE HIS DREAMS N HOPES COME TRUE I CAN HONESTLY SAY I WAS THE BEST WIFE I DID IT ALL AND WORKED MY ADVISE TO ALL IS STOP TRYING TO GET THEM BACK THE TEXTING GIFTS NOTES EMAILS ETC DOESNT WORK SAYING AND APPRECIATING THEM DOESNT WORK THE MORE YOU DO THE LESS OF A POSITIVE RESULT WILL OCCUR BEEN THERE DONE THAT I AM NOW LIVING FOR ME LIKE EVERYONE SHOULD LIVE FOR THEMSELVES FIRST THEN SEE WHAT HAPPENS !
I encourage you to keep writing about your thoughts and feelings. I think you’ll find that you know more about your marriage and your husband then you think you know… And the best way to figure complicated questions out is to write about them. Writing helps you sort through your thoughts and emotions, and discover the truth that maybe hidden deep within you. I encourage you to write in your private journal, or here if you’d like. I’m happy to be a sounding board, but I don’t give marriage advice and I can’t offer counseling.
I am sorry that is happening to you. As I read your story, I was compelled to tell you that you need to get out of that relationship. YOU deserve so much better and need to be treated with respect. Walk away. The first step is hard. You need to do this for you or you will be miserable… Trust me. Good luck in your decision but you do deserve a lot better.
Hi, my husband and i has only been married for 6 months when he started cheating on me, before that we were in a long distance relationship for 5 years, he was overseas while i lived in Australia and I have waited long time for us to be finally together. I’m his second wife and i thought that things would be different for us. From the tme i found out about the cheating which is through social media chatting, I hid it from all the people including my family for i was protecting him until such time that he emotionally abuse me and went his way to see her and commited adultery.
Is your marriage worth fighting for, or is it over? I don’t know the answer, but I do believe that you can save your marriage if you try. You can’t change your husband, and you can’t stop him from ending your relationship…but you can change how you respond to him. This doesn’t mean you let him walk all over you, or you force yourself to become someone you’re not.
So, you need to figure out if you’re just going through the normal ups and downs of marriage…or if you’re truly not in love with him. How do you do that? You could try individual counseling, couples therapy, or even Mort Fertel’s “alternative to therapy” (a friend of mine LOVES how Fertel coaches marriages — his ad is at the end of my article above).

Have you thought about individual or couples counseling? Even if your husband refuses to go, it’s a great way for you to figure out what you should do and if you can help him see how serious your marriage issues are right now. Talking to a counselor — even without your husband present — can be a great way to see things clearly and objectively. Which, in turn, can help you decide whether your marriage is over or just going through a rough stage.
I try my best to fix our problems, I’ve been trying to change my behaviors to make things better, but it’s a one way street. He refuses to acknowledge that there is anything wrong with him – he’s just perfect. His ignoring of me, lack of sexual activity, never leaving the home together unless it’s to drop the kids at daycare has driven to the edge and over it! I’ve been in various counseling sessions – not that any of that worked. I have also read the ‘How to leave your husband.’ article, it makes sense, and sounds so easy – but clearly it isn’t. No money, no place to go, and the kids?

And yet, if a man sees that something is very important to you, he will make an effort to listen to you attentively, even if this topic is completely uninteresting to him. When he loves you, he won’t leave you without attention. But if he keeps changing the topic or runs away using different excuses whenever you try to talk, most likely, your worries do not bother him. Accordingly, he is not going to participate in the resolution of any issues that may come up during the relationship.
I am a doer, not a talker, and I will not sit by and be part of a train wreck that I can clearly see, whether it is mental or physical.   If I have a boyfriend who has cancer, and he will not seek help, I will not stand by for X number of months or years in anguish just to go down with him.  If he is going to doctors, getting treatments, I would stand by him and hold his hand on his deathbed.  None of the posters said anything about abandoning anyone.  I would stay with my Asperger man and help him navigate through this, if he wanted the help!  What I will not do is stand there and be collateral damage. 
When you are looking for ways to enjoy your husband, even running the simplest of errands together can provide an opportunity for some fun. When our kids were young, Steve and I would wait until the little ones had gone to bed, and then leaving them in the care of their older sister, we would sneak off to a 24-hour home improvement store. Steve was doing yet another remodel of our home, so there were frequent purchases to be made. This meant we had little money to spend on dates and less time than usual for Steve to devote me.

I’ve been in a relationship for three years now. I’m currently 19 years old. At 16 I fell in love with the most amazing man. In the months before we met I had been experimenting with drugs, ecstasy. I had become highly addicted (a couple pills a day). I needed help. At my rock bottom he saved me. I sobered up. Unfortunately, in the months following I started having extreme panic attacks, which I blame on my previous drug use. Due to this I was hospitalized. I wanted to die. I was put on Prozac for depression. But even through all that he remained my biggest fan. In the year following this things were wonderful. We’d talk for hours. Three months after my 18th birthday and four months after his 21st birthday we were married. We had a small wedding at my parents home. Sadly, one month after getting married the physical abuse started. He pushed me onto the floor then he’d throw things at me it quicky escalated from there. The break down of our relationship blame on the fact that I was working two jobs at the time I was at work an average of 13 hours a day. I was also a full time college student. He worked a hard labor job. We were always tired and never saw each other. At the time we were living at his dads house. Eventually I could not take it anymore. I moved out and we were separated for three months. During our “separation” we saw each other almost everyday. We remained intimate. Eventually we reconciled. We got an apartment together and everything was great. It felt like a fresh start. But before the ink was even dry on the contract I found out through his Facebook that he had been denying to random girls and old girlfriend that he was even married! He even went as far as to tell an ex he loved her and that if she would of still lived in our hometown he would married her instead of me. She in turn told him she didn’t care if he was married and sent naked pictures through email. I feel apart and packed my things. Somehow he convinced me to stay. During our separation I also turned to a guy that I had a past with. We had been friends through out the years and I wanted a man’s point of view on who was right and wrong on certain arguments that my husband and I have had. That’s was all. He developed feelings for me. Out of fear that my husband would think wrong of me I deleted all messages and denied everything. It was the worst decision I ever made. Eventually he found out and to this day he swears I had an affair. I DID NOT. After this our relationship went even further down hill. He started smoking meth. He has had this addiction for about six years. Which I thought was under controlled but obviously not. By this time we had been married ten months. He wasn’t sleeping at all. He became very paraniod and violent with me. One night he had me cornered in our kitchen. He was hitting me on the head. After months of abuse I finally had enough. He was wearing a shirt I had bought him. It was his favorite shirt. I decided I’d cut a hole in it so he could never wear it again. In the process I got a small cut on my hand and his. He slapped me harder then I had ever been hit in the face. Two minutes later the police was there. We both tried to down play each others involvement but it didn’t work. We were both arrested for domestic abuse. After bailing out I wanted to get help for him. We dropped our lives and moved to California with his mom. While we were out their we reconnected. He sobered up. Soon we moved back home. The problems and struggles of daily life got to us once again. We still haven’t been able to rebuilt any trust. At this time we have been married one year five months. The physical abuse is still going on. He is extremely remorseful after he hits me. We no longer sleep in the same bed, we are rarely intimate, we have as little communication as possible and he also refuses to delete naked pictures from his email! I dont know what to do I love this man. I feel that he is depressed. I feel like a prisoner in my own home. I want to help him. I love him with all my heart and i know deep inside he is a great man. I feel that their is love for me as well in him. In my comment I know it seems I am placing all blame on him but I have many faults of my own. I’m not ready to give on my marriage I need advise! I do not have money to get professional help. Any comments welcomed.
Hi everyone I know you all have been looking for a certified hacker that works legit and not scammer welll meet cyberspyne@gmail .com. For all your email hacks find out the password of any site he / she (your partner) is on via the email address just do forget password and you have access you could use this files for your divorce also don't let that cheat get away contact cyberspyne@gmail .com. Remember he would show you proof before you make payments this is real see readers comment below :
I have a regular full time job and have bills to pay. My children and I live with his mother and father and sister. He stopped communicating again. No texts, no calls. He didn’t even greeted me during our anniversary. He doesn’t want to receive/answer my call. My family got pity on me and they wanted me to come home. So, I decided to go home with my kids. He still doesn’t communicated with me or even ask how the kids are. I also think he has another woman there. I don’t want to go to him because I done begging and pleading our relationship will work. I am spent up, crying and asking why he is doing this to me. But I have decided to stop going after him and focus on the positive side. I don’t think our marriage will still work out and I am no longer hoping it will. I am still young, still 25 and maybe there is still a man out there who will truly love me.
I decided to take revenge on my wife by having an affair - hypocritically, as I'd claimed the high ground in previous rows about the infidelity she had been involved in. This was exciting and restored some of my confidence briefly. It was a horrendous mistake by me for all concerned. It damaged the person I had an affair with emotionally, it damaged me and it damaged both my wife and the relationship.
My husband is the quiet reserved type – one of the things that initially attracted me to him almost 19 years ago. however, looking back now he has always remained detached from me throughout our marriage – we have a wonderful family of 5 children and for the past four years have become so distant from each other that we dont even talk. There is no arguing, so the kids dont see verbal violence, but they are not silly – they know there is a cold war raging in our home.

"People mistakenly believe that they shouldn't ask for what they want from their partner, when in actuality it is the best way to communicate and get what you want from your relationship. Your partner shouldn't expect you to meet all their needs—expecting someone to 'complete' you is a romantic idea but not a healthy one. But healthy couples do work together to make sure the most important needs are being met." —Clark
In all fairness I have an anger problem too so this is not all his fault. Plus I know I can be really mean especially when reminded of my past so I am by no means innocent in this fiasco marriage. What steps should hubby and I take to improve our marriage? I really do love him but I want my needs to get met as well. My mom even said that the way she sees our relationship is that everything is always about him. He is the type of person that when I say I’m feeling bad he says me too but I feel worse than you. I was throwing up in the bathroom and he was amused and ignored me. I also had a bad flu and he told me to go make pizzas. There is so much more but this post has been long enough. He has good qualities too so what should I do? Sorry for the long post and thanks. Oh and he is a lot older than me if that helps.
When your partner is unhappy, they might start to change their habits, and the amount of time they're spending with you, BetterHelp telehealth counselor and psychologist Nikki Martinez tells Bustle. If this has happened lately, don't panic, but maybe take caution, depending on your specific situation. "While this can change in any relationship," she says, if it's a sign of discord, you'll notice the decrease.
The only common thing throughout this whole thread is the fact that, somewhere along the way, someone has lost their love for their partner. Any loss painful and scary as we all fear the unknown. We all fear being unwanted, unloved and un-needed. We are all unsure of what step to take next. My only advice (for what its worth) to each of us, is dont do too much at once. Take tiny steps and only make small changes at time. Look after yourself, allow yourself to grieve the lost relationship (they say the negative feelings are better out than in) and then start looking for a way to take yourself forward through whatever it is you need to go through.
I’m sorry to tell you . This but your marriage is over and has been for 16 yrs. He does not love you he comes home because he made a commitment he broken a huge bulk of it but . He cant seem to move on he has to hear from you that hes no longer need it then he would leave . But honestly he does not love you …. Love is kind faithful and true theirs no lies or deceit in it so stop making up excuses for him . Now Im married Im a christian My husband never love me but I married him because I did I could not sed myself with anyone else he complete me so I turn the other cheek but Im not in no way delusion to think he cares. I will never divorce him. But he wants out I would let him go . Im a christian I do not beleive in divorce so I would only marry again if he dies
@rollercoaster_love,seems he is on top of the introvert chart.People who dont talk so much snap ones in a while.This also happens to highly intelligent introverts.They assume you will be smart enough to know the right things to do without making so much noise about it.Sometimes they may be wrong because like you rightly said “you are not a MINDREADER”
You hear a lot of women with celebrity status, bank executives, accountants and top managers struggling to save their marriage and stop a lover's rejection with amazing difficulty. Now, everyone can learn from the wisdom and honest research of others on how to stop a husband from having an affair and build a long lasting and happy marriage you and everyone will be proud of.

If there is something that your husband did in the past that really upset you, yet you have said you have forgiven him for, just let it go. Whether it's the anniversary he forgot, or heaven forbid the woman he slept with while you two were dating. If you have said you have forgiven him, stop bringing it up. It may be an easy way to push his buttons in an unrelated argument, but know it is detrimental to any relationship to hold on to things that are meant to stay in the past.
If your partner allows himself to publicly humiliate you and laughs at your failures, do not expect anything good from such a relationship. Such a partner doesn’t respect you, and a strong and reliable union is impossible without respect. By criticizing you with other people, he unconsciously tries to prove to others (and himself) that it’s your fault that he stopped loving you.
If your partner is suddenly argumentative, it might be due to excessive stress at work, or a side effect of their depression or anxiety. But it could also be due to their unhappiness. "When a partner is unhappy and can’t find a way out of the relationship, they will turn to creating a problem that isn’t there," relationship expert Lori Bizzoco tells Bustle. "Your partner may try picking fights over little things and making a big deal out of them."
If your guy doesn`t text you as much as he usually did, he may be just taking a break. While you shouldn’t make a drama out of this, try to figure out why he needs that break. He may have problems at work, at college or some family issues. If everything is fine yet he doesn’t call or text you during the day, maybe your man isn’t interested in you and your relationship overall.
From a woman’s point of view, you need to get out. For the sanity of yourself, and your children. Your wife has little to no respect for you, and from what you’ve said, herself. Her values are also not anywhere near in line with your own, as she believes that her actions are justifiable. I once was the woman who took advantage of wonderful, goodhearted men, and who cared about nothing more than having my ego fed. It is impossible to be in a relationship with a selfish person, unless you are a glutton for neglect and abuse. The fact that she is taking no responsibility for her actions, and manipulating you in a way that is intended to make you feel guilty for her wrong doings, also validates the fact that she is not only out for her own self indulging ways, but also that she has such little respect for you that she sees you as nothing more than a pawn. With you, she can have the upright lifestyle. Successful husband, children, home.. but because of your leniency in letting her manipulate you, she can also have her second life, for those she doesn’t mind displaying that too. I am not for divorce, at all. I believe that a couple must do everything in their power to rectify their marriage, ESPECIALLY when children are involved. However, there comes a time when you must stop slamming your head against the brick wall and accept that there is sometimes no way of changing a person, or their priorities. I suggest you file for divorce, and allow your wife to live the life that she seems to gravitate too. Remain an excellent father, for it seems you are the one who is most levelheaded and who your children must rely on, and move on. Those with a good heart, must be paired with someone who nurtures that heart, not destroys it. I know you may not yield to my advice, I was once the person on the victim side of an unhealthy relationship, but once you get out, you will be free of the emotional strain that this woman holds on your life. I wish the best for you, and for your children. All I ask is that through the process of divorce, if you choose to take that route, do not let anger or resentment rob you of the dignity and respect you deserve, from all parties.. most importantly your kids.
Start by evaluating why you are unhappy. Then consider when your partner/boyfriend might be receptive to hearing you. Do not wait until an argument, or until the next trigger for your unhappiness. Try and think of realistic, positive outcomes and how to achieve them. Maybe after a fun activity, or during a private moment, try asking them what they think about the problem. Start small. And be open minded! Sometimes the problem looks different once you lay it out on the table. Remember, this is a relationship -- you have to be able to give AND take!

I love this.  It’s hitting home for me now and like to hear how important it is to communicate concerns as a way to be there for your significant other.  My boyfriend didn’t leave me, but was unhappy with my unhappiness.  Had I known his feelings earlier,  I would have changed.  All the while I was unhappy,  I didn’t realize it.  Now my boyfriend seems to be in the position I was a few months ago.  While I entertain the thought of leaving him, I’m now reminded by your response that I need to voice my concerns first!


My husband is not interested in having sex with me anymore. When there is a fight, he always says” Isn’t it enoough for me to bear you and bear your big mouth” He repeats this comment a lot. He is not interested in going out with me and children as we used to be in the past. I take the children all by myself. He comes from work and he is on facebook till very late at night. when I approach him for intimate relationship, sometimes he says I am tired. I am the one who always approach him In my country it is not easy to ask for a divorce. I have kids. He spends money on them. I don’t think I am going to have another relationship with anybody. How am I going to save this marriage? He has changed.
Hi. I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost two years. We’ve always been having ups and downs but always come out on the other side. I think he is an amazing person and I admire him a lot. We both have very strong personalities and this is really our first adult relationship. I’ve grown to love him. A lot. In spite of all our issues. I wouldn’t want him out of my life. Since recently he’s been miserable to me. Always agitated and frustrated. When I confronted him about it he said hes hurt by all our arguments and he sees that when he looks at me. This makes me very sad. I work with him and I can’t imagine going to work everyday and working side by side with him and he feels this way. He said he feels like he’s in relationship with someone he doesn’t want… I don’t know him like this and I have no clue what to do. I want to save my relationship and help him to forgive me. I do love him. And I don’t want to lose him. I don’t know if I’ve been my best and fairest with him. And I feel guilty when I know I’ve hurt him. I’ve loved the life I’ve had with him and I truly can’t stand to see him miserable. I want to do something about it. I treasure him and I want to build back our relationship. Please help me
Me and my husband are best friends/soulmates. We have been married for 16 years and talk about things all the time. To my horror a few weeks ago i found out that he did not go on the business trip that he told me he was going on, he checked into a hotel and spent a couple of nights on his own, he worked during the day, to think about his future. He did not expect me to find out, he wanted to look at his life to see if he needed to change anything in it, life’s too short and all that. You can imagine i was mortified and have found it really hard to believe him now, i feel i am constantly checking up on him, asking him questions. He goes out once a week with his friends and comes in at 2am, i have asked him if there is anyone else and he says no, why do i jump to that conclusion he says. We have been really good friends and confidents but the love life has not been really there for years now, i have talked to him about it and he said that if both of us are happy about the lack of sex then that is fine. To be honest, i lost my mojo years ago too, only occasionally i feel like it, if i initiate sex, he never turns me away but he never initiates it ever himself. How long do i carry on with the questions/mistrust etc? It is tearing me apart, i feel like i am obsessed with where he is and who he is with, he knows i am upset about it but still goes out regardless. We do go out as a couple on other nights too.

So you love him, you are not happy, he does not understand you nor your feelings. I think it's time you move on. I know it's as hard for you to acknowledge the fact as easy it is for me to point it out here. But believe me, it's the best thing to do. Love is way overrated and people misunderstand it a lot. If you are not happy all the time then it is not love. It just can't be. I strongly suggest you to move on and explore other areas of life. Don't feel bad if your love failed you. It's just a very small chapter in your life. Don't spoil the whole book just because of one torn page. You are the author. Fill it in and move on. Good luck :)
I believe you Scott and I’m a woman. Mine won’t take meds or even go for counseling. He has Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder and living with him is a LIVING NIGHTMARE…NOTHING IS EVER GOID ENOUGH OR HIS FAULT…I CANT TAKE IT….AND THIS COMMUNICATING CRAP….YOU CANT COMMUNICATE WITH SOMEONE WHO LIES TO YOU AND THEN TELLS YOU THAT YOU MADE HIM DO IT!! HANG IN THERE AND TAKE HER MONEY AWAY…NO JOB…NO MONEY…SHE HAS TOO MUCH TIME ON HER HANDS!

If you're connected and intimate with your partner, you’re going to notice when something is off-track. There is always a caring way to address this: Without being defensive or combative, say, “I’ve noticed you seem a little off. What’s happening for you?” Showing concern and stating what you see happening may be just the thing to get whatever is causing the unhappiness out into the open. You’re basically creating a safe environment for your partner to share.
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This was so good for me to read. My now ex-boyfriend and I had just over two wonderful years together, and we really did think we were going to spend our lives together. We had discussed marriage and kids; we had real intimacy, warm companionship, trust and that nice, easygoing sense of partnership with one another. Then he began to get “moody” as he hit certain bumps in life — which escalated into a depression that went well beyond our relationship. Like Katie’s boyfriend, he isolated himself and pushed me and his friends and loved ones away. He stopped doing things that made him happier; he sort of just atrophied in his life. He said being with people and making plans felt like “a chore,” and that aspiring to hopes and dreams felt “futile.” And like Katie’s boyfriend, he thought his feelings and outlook were beyond his control, no matter how much we talked or discussed. That’s when I realized I had to walk, because ultimately I believe that taking responsibility for your own fulfillment and happiness is key to a successful life (and relationship!)
So you love him, you are not happy, he does not understand you nor your feelings. I think it's time you move on. I know it's as hard for you to acknowledge the fact as easy it is for me to point it out here. But believe me, it's the best thing to do. Love is way overrated and people misunderstand it a lot. If you are not happy all the time then it is not love. It just can't be. I strongly suggest you to move on and explore other areas of life. Don't feel bad if your love failed you. It's just a very small chapter in your life. Don't spoil the whole book just because of one torn page. You are the author. Fill it in and move on. Good luck :)

Hi. Im no expert but if he can stop to care about her feelings he can stop to care about your feelings if he loves you. Sometimes i believe some men get a little to selfish because they feel the love we have for them. But make him see that if he can’t stop seeing her then your of the menu too “so to speak”. Make him decided what’s more important. That way you can also find some one who can make you happy whether its him or someone else. That’s my thought good luck!
My ex-husband had a long term affair with a woman from work for several years. He had a baby with another women when we were only married for two years. He never cooked or cleaned until a coworker started cooking lunch for me, after 20 years of marriage, no matter how often I asked him. Then he accused me of having an affair with the coworker who prepared lunch for me and told all of our friends that I was having an affair. He put antifreeze in the water bottle I keep in the refrigerator to drink after my walk. When I confronted him he grabbed the water bottle out of my hand and the antifreeze and left the house. When he came back he did not have my water bottle or the antifreeze and told me no one would ever believe me. Many times I received calls from work or from his sister wondering where he was and lecturing me on how he was being irresponsible by consistently being absent when he was supposed to be there. He never gave me or the kids a gift for Christmas or our birthdays and charged lingerie from Victoria Secrets to our joint account. He also took all the money saved from our 20 year marriage and put in a his own personal account. He took the money from our brokerage account as well and I was unable to find it. He took all the money from our kids college funds and spent it. I would say these were pretty good signs that the marriage was over before it even started. It was a shame it took me 20 years to wise up.
I waa his frst choice..he was my life..but 5 month back all get changed. He doesnt want ne in his life..i asked him that y he is doing dis. He replied to me by saying that i am not that girl who he was thinking..from last few months i tried my level bst to save my relation with him but he didnt tried a single time. He always used ti say that he will leave hin if i will doubt him. He always show his temper if i disobey his words. He get angry when i say anything related to love or attachement. He has changed his self..what shuld i do?.. i love him badly..and i can imagine my lyf with him only and no one else..
That's step one. Step two is actually doing something about it, before you worry for one more second — and before things get worse. "Use these signs as an invitation to have a conversation," author and life coach Kali Rogers tells Bustle. "Asking questions about the behavior, 'Are you stressed? Can I help?' or asking for what we want, 'I'd like to hold hands more' is a better use of your time." It may feel awkward, but it's important to open those lines of communication so you can figure out how to handle this, together. Here are some more signs you might want to address.
Obviously I don't know your situation, but it sounds like it truly sucks. I don't know your background. What made you fall in love, how well did you know your husband before your married, why did you marry, etc. I'm sure that your husband loves you very much but he has clearly lost his way. I don't know why he seeks solitude but there may be a better reason than you suspect. I don't know why he is emotionally detached but I'm sure that it's not your fault and that the reason is anything other than what you might imagine it to be. All that being said, and giving him the benefit of the doubt, you need to go together to see a marriage counselor as soon as possible. They speak to lots of couples in similar situations and I believe that they can help you find out why your husband acts the way he does and how to help. You both need to focus on strengthening your relationship. This effort should take priority over your kids. They need you two to love each other and be happy together because you are their model of true love.
My husband and I have been together for a little over 3 and half years and we’ve been married for a year and 3 months. Things have not been going well for quite some time. For the last 3 weeks we haven’t even been living together. He clearly has anger issues, he always has, but they have progressively gotten worse and worse. When we first met he had a lot of dependency on alcohol, he asked me for help to stop drinking and for a while he had it under control, but the last few months he has been returning to his old habits. He is constantly accusing me of cheating, to the point of literally saying it everyday. But this is just insane, because his jealousy is so bad that I only go out with him. I avoid girl’s night and me time to avoid horrendous fights. He’s constantly threatening me that he’s done, he wants a divorce, etc, but then shortly after begs for forgiveness. It has become a vicious circle. It seems as though he begs for forgiveness because he realizes everything he has to give up, I’m the bread winner in the relationship, I take care of all the bills and if he doesn’t stay with me he has to go live with his parents. Did I mention I’m 25 yrs old and he’s 30, it’s an awful lot of pressure because I take care of everything. His fits of anger have actually gotten to the point of truly scaring me, he starts punching and hitting things, it’s really bizarre. He has these ups and downs that remind of someone that is bi-polar. The sad part is as much as I’ve always loved him and part of me has always known that I made a mistake. Ever time my mind is made up and I’m ready to throw in the towel he somehow sucks me back in. As soon as I start to change my mind wondering if we can make it work, he acts like a crazed maniac, thus reminding me of why I want out. Like I mentioned earlier it’s a vicious circle and happens like clock work now. I believe the right thing for me to do is move on, but I can’t seem to make that happen. Since I keep getting drawn back in I start to wonder if I’m giving up to soon. But I’m so tired of fighting, being hurt, let down, you name it. I mean my husband actually talks bad about me behind my back, that can’t be normal, right? Unfortunately there are so many more issues I haven’t even touched on, but I’m hoping that with the information I have given you might be able to provide me with some insight into how to handle this and the direction I should be headed!
I am the sole provider until my wife starts working and make decent money. I asked her to help paying for kid’s college fund, and her car maintenance and gas and (kind of expected) she got very upset and didn’t talk to me. I told her this is for the children and we should share the money in joint account as an option but she quickly ignored it. Her plan is use her money from work to build a new house in her oversea home town in which I don’t agree as it is more important to prepare for kid’s college fund first, and possibly help pay credit card debts that we incurred.
You’ve noticed that something doesn’t feel right between you and your husband… He seems different, less present, and maybe doesn’t even seem like the person you married at all these days. Your intuition tells you something is up and you’re realizing that your partner is unhappy. It’s unsettling feeling of course, but once you pinpoint what exactly is bothering him, you’ll be on your way to fixing the problem.
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