My situation is not exactly same as yours. But my boyfriend tends to be moody or changes mood within the day. In one instance, we’re chatting in Facebook, i was telling we got free food at work at that day and he’ll just send me a thumbs up emoticon. Normally when I tell him something about FOOD it he would say ” delicious”. We’ve had our relationship for 3 months now. That is not the only the instance of his mood swings. He would suddenly be cold to me. I would ask him ” is there a problem?” he would answer NO. Sometimes it made me think whats wrong? Did i say something stupid? Suddenly out of nowhere he would tell me I Love You. He admits that he is moody. He has bad temper at times but not to the point of hurting me. He would normally raise his voice when he doesn’t want things go the right way. I mean I can feel he really loves me but sometimes it pisses me off when he is like that. What I’m doing is just letting his bad mood passed. I’m just ignoring it. I just let his mood normalize.
Where and how do you start getting healthy and letting go? You try different things until you find what works for you. Maybe a marriage counseling program will help. Maybe you need to do something, such as changing your life — perhaps by moving to a different city, traveling, or getting individual counseling. Some people find physical spa treatments helpful, or alternative therapies such as reiki or energy healing.
Peter I agree. Infidelity is a symptom and not a cause. Any good relationship is built on communication. For those guys out there who think that your wife’s complaints about “we don’t communicate” or “you don’t understand” are just traits of a woman, go home tonight and find out were the hell things went wrong – FAST. If she has given up on trying to communicate with you, this is your sign. Without communication, your marriage is a ticking time bomb – because every storm becomes more difficult to weather and when the big one hits, you won’t be able to put things back together. A lack of communication ultimately divides a couple and they seek out those who do communicate with and understand them. I cheated on my wife (via text) while she was really sick – I let my jealousy of her supportive friends blind me to everything which should have been important – like focusing on my wife. As a result, my wife fell in love with her supportive friend and is now on the way out the door. She is trying to give me a chance, but our communication was so poor that all I could do is hurt her more as I continued to fix all the wrong things. My family is gone. My life is over. I cannot forgive myself. I want to kill myself. Please don’t learn from my mistakes. Everyday I wake up, I search for reasons to stay alive, but I am running low on excuses – my current motivation is that I would feel like such a coward for not manning up to the consequences of the hurt I put her through and I cannot leave my son. She is all that I have known for the last 10 years. I love her soo much. I love my son soo much. She deserved soo much better. Please don’t learn from my mistakes.
"People mistakenly believe that they shouldn't ask for what they want from their partner, when in actuality it is the best way to communicate and get what you want from your relationship. Your partner shouldn't expect you to meet all their needs—expecting someone to 'complete' you is a romantic idea but not a healthy one. But healthy couples do work together to make sure the most important needs are being met." —Clark
It's extremely difficult, if not impossible, to disentangle our mood from a loved one's mood without swinging too far in the other direction, becoming disinterested and emotionally cut off as a means of self-preservation. Living with an unhappy person is, in many ways, like living with someone who's ill: the illness is theirs, but the experience belongs to the caregiver as well. Thinking of a loved one's unhappiness as an illness brings to mind some points I made in an earlier post, The Caregiver's Manifesto, that, in modified form, may apply:

I choose to serve my husband, and I’m eager to please him in our marital bed. I rarely say “no” if you know what I mean. I do work at my marriage, and I do work on myself to be the best wife I can be, but I also know that the outcome of our relationship doesn’t simply rest on my shoulders. He is responsible as well. And if he’s not where he needs to be in life then no amount of smooth legs, makeup, or hot sex can change that. 
Had been married for about 10 years. Have three beautiful kids all under the age of 10. Future ex wife filed for divorce and did not talk. The manipulation game worked for her for it drew the worst out of a good man that pleaded to keep his family together. We were on the brink of re-building our marriage through counseling, but future ex wife wrecked a family. We never committed adultery, fought through anger, called each other names, nothing. No alcohol or drug abuse. My eldest daughter has been devastated. So hard to see your kids cry and plead for their mommy and daddy to stay together. I never wanted such an outcome of a 10 year marriage. Things moved so fast over the first 7 years with several children born, loss of job linked to the shitty economy took a toll on my and my future ex wife. I developed depression over the last year of marriage of which made family tough. I received appropriate care for my depression and I looked up to my wife at the time for much needed support. With wife starting a business, me staying at home with the kids while trying to gain access to job opportunities, I was spent. I did some recharging by protecting myself from the negativity that spewed from my wife over the last several months of marriage. I needed to regain my individuality that I lost trying to serve a woman that was controlling and very self serving. Overall, we both made some minor mistakes in our marriage that went noticed – meaning all of the negative baggage was carried to the point of filing for divorce instead of FOCUSING ON THE POSITIVE THINGS THAT YOUR PARTNER BRINGS TO THE MARRIAGE! We failed to communicate effectively and truly trusting each other. I made a game out of the situation that was worsened by my attitude to make the situation worse. Depression is a bastard for I just wasn’t myself during the depression days. Now I have a bit of a clearer mindset as the depression fades with time and much self reflection. I do still find myself very alone…pondering the what ifs at times…but for the most part, I often wonder what could have been. Our divorce process has been pretty boring. My future ex wife doesn’t speak to me and hasn’t since the divorce filing. I often wonder about reconciliation, but due to the current communication state, I feel that reconciliation is no longer an opportunity. Now that I see my kids 4 days per month, I have lost connection with them. I no longer think about them as much as I did when I was at home. I pick em up and two of them want to stay with mom…I take em home and they run after the car crying for their dad. Oh well, kids will be affected, but that is the way of the future ex wife.
Whether it snuck up on you over the course of a few years, or it dawned on you suddenly one night, I have to say — it's great that you noticed. Not everyone picks up on problems in their relationship, or takes the time to assess the situation. Even your partner might not realize they're projecting negative vibes, or that they're unhappy. So consider it a step in the right direction that you've realized something's wrong.
My current relationship is not completely lacking laughter but I am often consumed with thoughts of “Can I live my whole life with a man who’ll never have a witty come back?” Because we have such open communication I’ve been able to explain my feelings to him. It has not upset him that I’m still unsure in our relationship, but for me it has been causing stress from indecision.

Can't remember your last date night? If you're not planning any important or special events together on top of not spending time together in general, that's not good news for your relationship, says Greer. Make an effort to get a couple outings on the schedule — maybe a movie night or a dinner at your favorite spot — and see if you can rekindle the flame. Marriages take work, and putting in the effort on things that bond you as a couple is part of that.
Sliding Into Marriage. Couples often have low levels of commitment and end up sliding into marriage instead of making a very conscious and clear decision to be committed to their future spouse. This frequently happens when couples live together, but aren’t officially married yet. The issue is that when this “sliding” occurs, there is less initial commitment and willingness to stick it out when things get tough, which is essential to any marriage. In other words, if you slide into your marriage you may be more likely to slide right on out. A low commitment level is a warning sign your marriage is over (or that it never really began).

The only good life experience that I received from marriage was seeing my 3 kids born and growing. Add a dog to the mix. Lose a job. Get slapped with depression and a wife lacking the necessary support to her man and now you have a man that is no longer interested in being with her anymore. I do deep down inside care for my wife, but I have reached the end with respect to the criticism and the nagging regarding how we try to raise our kids. Also, there is a lot of the word “I” that comes from my wife’s pie hole during conversations with a marriage counselor and all I can think of is that I am married to myself.

2. You want a partner who can keep up. Not only does your partner have to appreciate your humor, he has to be able to get the joke. If you have to explain yourself all the time, or there are long silences where he doesn’t see what you’re laughing at, I would think twice about the relationship. This is exactly why I never dated someone from a foreign country; I’m not xenophobic, they just rarely got my New York Jewish sarcastic brand of humor.
Initially when I asked her that she just blew it off quickly and said “I don’t know, but he needs to stop acting like this or else I’M OUT!”. So I made sure to ask her ONE more time to really emphasize the fact that I wanted a legitimate answer. When I did that, her indifference immediately turned to outrage as he wondered why the HELL I was “taking up for him” when she was the emotional victim of his actions. She mumbled something about “men not understanding” and just immediately changed the topic, so I obliged and we began talking about something unrelated. But I really wish we could have let that conversation play out, because there’s one gross misunderstanding some women have about men that I really wanted to clear up for her.
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I am sorry that is happening to you. As I read your story, I was compelled to tell you that you need to get out of that relationship. YOU deserve so much better and need to be treated with respect. Walk away. The first step is hard. You need to do this for you or you will be miserable… Trust me. Good luck in your decision but you do deserve a lot better.
Folk please advise: Married to my husband of 5 years, lived together for 2 yrs before marrying and lived side by side for a year together before that. He raised my young daughters now 11 and 13 and his been a hard worker and good provider and for years a great friend and wonderful husband. I am also a very hard worker and split the bills although he makes more than me I do make a pretty decent living. I pay for all the girls stuff and family stuff, afer school care and camp and any other possible need they could have. His extra money is for numerous toys for him self that will keep him busy tinkering around. We were very happily actvie in snowmobiling, four wheeling, and other shared activities. He doesnt want to do that stuff anymore just tinker with his harley and tinker with his project sports car. That will be fine but we always used to talk and the4 last 4 months has been getting adamant that he doesnt want to hear anything thatI say. Wantsw to have sex and do yard sales and watch tv with me b ut he really doesnt want to hear anuthing I say unless it is about him, his harley, his car or his muscular arms, He litterally will tell me to shut up if AI bring up something related to my work or the4 kids, or something on the4 news, etcc. He talks non stop about his toys and how he was when he was younger and all the differnt thikngs he did when he was younger. He seems to be collecting all those things he wanted or had that he though was cool years ago and he will only talk ab out that or talk about making money off of selling stuff…over and over . I dont know what do do- he really doesnt want to hear anything I say- we are differnt in education- me-masters degree and he and eighth grade dropout but hes super logical and highly mechanically technical so not a dumb man- we have great parts of ourrelatioinship has been fun except for this new thinkg but I meand he really doesnt want to discuss anything to do with me and wants to only talk about him and its getting to be weird and disrespectful and old. what do you make of it? sez life is greaqt but he wishes i was his brother i think. m they talk on the4 phone muliple times a day every day and they talk about really stupid thinkgs i dont think he knows how to have a real matgure relationship with normal people. mhis family is all screwed up and all havef definite mental issues and note are work hard all livinig on welfare and stuff like that all havfe very low Iq’S Just so weird lately and I dont know if i should get out of this relationship..
i am also going through the same, the man I have been with for 7 years going to 8 just left me and we just had a baby. he treats me so bad to an extent that I just see it as normal. when he is happy I should be happy but when he is unhappy he also wants me to be happy, he swears at me today and the next day he tells me he loves me. I know they say you should fight for what you believe in and fight 4 your man but after he just decided to leave me without no reason , I have just decided to stop believing and just focus on my own happiness, you can love someone so bad but sometimes love is not enough when it makes you miserable, love is supposed to make you happy.
It is frustrating when you’re doing everything you can to be a good husband, and yet you’re treated badly and betrayed. I don’t know your situation and I’m worried that you mentioned taking your own life. I don’t know how to help you, other than to encourage you to try to find people in your own situation. A support group for dads or separated men, perhaps? I don’t know what you need.

Last night we went out and really didn’t drink much at all. I was clear and sober through the entire night, and I thought he was too. We went to a couple of bars, had one drink at each, and moved on. When we got to the last one, my husband decided that we should have a shot of something, but I am not sure what it was, I was busy loading the jutebox with Christmas music. After the shot, I got a mild buzz, so I figured he did too. We left the bar and walked toward home. On the way home, it happened again. He started screaming at me about something having to do with my son and I walked away. I had no interest in another fight. He yelled at me to get out of his house and that I was not taking my son. I yelled back at him not to worry, I would and as he has no rights to my child, I would be taking him with me. My son, by the way, was at hhis grandmothers house, where he goes every Thursday and every other weekend for visitation with his grandparents and his father. My husband ran up behind me, grabbed me by my hair, and dragged me about a half a block back, telling me that I was not going back to the house, I was not welcome. He did this twice. Being that I was now in pain, I screamed for help both times, to which he replied that there was noone to help me. I called his sister, whose house it is that we lived at. By this point I was hysterical. When he realized who I called, he cussed at me and stormed off toward the house. I started walking the other direction, with the idea in my head that I would walk the 15 miles it was to my son’s grandmother’s house and sleep in the boat she has on the lawn. My sister-in-law came and picked me up, taking me back to her house. She told me to go to bed and lock the door, he would sleep on the couch. Now it is morning, he is alseep on the couch, and I am still angry that he had the nerve to threaten my relationship with my child. I am also a little scared, he had never put his hands on me before. I don’t know what to do. Any help would be appreciated.
For those out there considering marriage. Make sure you weigh the pros and cons regarding your pre marriage situation before jumping on the marriage bandwagon. Marriage is difficult and takes time and patience and above all…outstanding communication. Without communication and support…your marriage will eventually fade to nothing but an ugly sunset.
The first thing you need to do is build a support network of friends and strong women who can help you. I know it’s not easy, but you need to reach out and connect with other women. Pay attention to your kids’ friends’ parents, your neighbors, the women in your exercise class or at the park. Take a deep breath, screw up your courage, and talk to them. Invite them for coffee or a play date.
I feel as if I'm walking on egg shells, trying not to anger him or make him more unhappy - I'm always filtering what I say before I say it (it was a really big struggle for me to tell him out loud that I was going to counseling)...I don't want our daughter to filter what she says, or try to make him happy all the time as well, since I know it is unhealthy. The other day, he came home from work and asked her to give him a hug - he stood by the door. She started walking toward him, all happy and ready to give a hug, but she got interested in the vacuum cleaner and he said, daddy's not interested in the vacuum cleaner. You need to come over and give me a hug. Daddy's been at work all day and wants a hug. - - - I reminded him that she's a toddler and she
We have been married for 10 years. we dated for a year, I am in second marraige, he has had four, which I found out by suprise in this past year. 4 months after we were married I was shocked to find out he had accepted over 100,000 a bills from his ex wife who had kicked him out and he was still paying her credit cards for 8 years. I was livid. Needless to say the trust was broken right away and our life became very difficult. My husband is great with words of agreement, but breaks any agreements we make. If the temperature get a little “hot” in the house the agreement is gone or he “doen’t remember.” We have not had sex for almost 3 years. He is one to try for a few times and if it doesn’t work…he’s gone. He spends ,most of his time in his office upstairs. We are older, 59 and 75, I detest being around him. He is retired and the economy does not afford a job for someone my age who cannnot be on their feet all day. We watched the movie fireproof separtely and he tried for 3-4 times and when it did not go his way he retreated. I have been in counseling for years and when suggested for us both to go he decided to go to his own counselor…alone. No suprise. He lives vicariously through me, has no hobbies, friends, interests and quite frankly I have exhausted my efforts, marraige suggested readings etc. He takes no accountability for his neglect or “conditional” effort. He will not read a book because he had to read a lot 40 years ago. the front of “looking good” has become weary and I have become very angry and short fused. I believe the marraige is over, we cannot afford to split. What to do… He is helpful if I ask him and remind him and remind him again. He is responsible with payments and watches tv and surfs the net. He has needed a hearing aid for 7 years and will not get one, (too stubborn)that has been very difficult. His mom passed last year and for te yeas she was here in the city. She was his priority and that was made very clear. we have no birthday, anniversary celebrations, get aways. We can’tbe in a car together or there is complete silence. He has and has not had dreams, goals for our future since I met him. He just said what was neeed for me to hear and it was much mistruth. Looking for counsel.
Mark, I feel that you have written here with the best of intentions, but you are wasting your energy on talking about married couples and their subsequent divorce, rather than people who are not yet married. Hopefully the married couples can work things out. Hopefully the divorce doesn't suck too much life out of the family. We all get that. You must use your academic background to start promoting an end to the practice of marriage for non religious people, who have not yet made the mistake of marrying. It is a shame that with all of your knowledge you have not yet begun to actively promote an end to marriage for the non religious. It is a useless and too often destructive institution that must be ended as soon as possible. It leaves good, hard working men at the mercy of corrupt family court systems and the she-devils who have come to dominate the feminine side of our culture. They lose everything. There is no greater pain than for a parent to lose a child, and this is what is happening to men all over the country. Get your priorities straight as soon as possible. Ending marriage for the non religious must become your focus.

Detach with love. Sometimes people are simply toxic by nature, a fact that often dawns on others around them only after time. Sometimes people refuse to take steps to make themselves feel better. As a result, sometimes you have to love them from a distance. This can be an intensely difficult decision, but sometimes it's the right one. Give yourself permission to entertain the thought and consider it seriously if consider it seriously you should.

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@happy in marriage. I think to post something like what you have on a thread like this is completely out of order and I HOPE you get to read this. Most of the people on here did not choose for their relationships to end? How SMUG of you to come on waxing lyrical about children from two parent families much better off that from broken homes etc? yes, in the ideal world, two parents are far better, but if you have taken the time to read a lot of these posts you will see that most of the parents are ‘single’ already with an estranged/diengaged/abusive or non-commited spouse. surely in cases like this, a single happy parent is better than two miserable ones?
Ultimately the key thing here — whether it’s just moodiness or a more serious depression — is that he feels it’s out of his control. I know how it must feel that way, and that depression (if that’s what Katie’s boyfriend has) can create this vicious cycle where you feel hopeless about life — so why take action to fix it? But that first step is acknowledging the problem and perhaps how it’s affecting you and your loved ones and then getting some help. You can help them down the path a little once they get going, but only they can really take that first important step — which is ultimately one of taking responsibility.
Kathleen, I admit the first paragraph of your comment struck a chord. Last summer, my boyfriend of two years walked out on me, out of the blue – just told me at the end of a weekly date night that he was leaving, handed me all my things from his apartment, that he’d packed before he left home that evening, and I only saw him once since that day. The only indication he’d given me was three days before he left, when he said “you were not happy last night”. Last spring, i.e. 3-4 months prior to that, I had a loss in my close family, my workload around the house doubled, then I changed jobs and my new job was harder than the one before it, and took a while to adjust to. Things got easier by the end of last year, but in the summer, I was completely exhausted from having all that new workload on top of trying to meet my ex’s many needs. I was still happy for the most part, just very tired and more irritable than my usual easygoing self. I admit that I still feel disappointed with him that he couldn’t wait for the hard times to pass, offer help and support, or even tell me that I had changed and ask me to get help (since I was too tired to even notice). Instead, he just walked out when I needed his help the most, because, after two years of making him happy and meeting his needs, there came a brief period of time when I couldn’t, and he just refused to put up with that. I still feel that he betrayed me, violated my trust in him, and let me down. I used to respect that man a lot and I don’t think I will ever be able to anymore.

Before I go any further, allow me to acknowledge a few things: unhappy and moody are not exactly the same. “Moody” sounds temporary, where “unhappy” is chronic. Then again, if your boyfriend consistently finds himself in a bad mood, I’m not sure how different it is from being unhappy. If it sounds like I’m familiar with the condition, it’s because, from 20-30 years old, I was always somewhere between unhappy/moody/anxious. I dated a LOT in that time and while there were many stretches where I could get by on charm, I could never mask my perpetual dissatisfaction with my career. Women would take a chance on me, but either I was a total downer or I was so unhappy that I’d choose an unsuitable woman just because she was there. Both are recipes for failed relationships.
My husband is a really great guy and father, unless your married to him. Friends, family members, hell, the person down the street gets more priority in the line of importance than I do. We have never been on a honeymoon, or go out of town together. I can count the number of times we have gone out to eat together on one hand, and that includes before our son was born. He is now 5. I have come to the conclusion that he must be embarressed to be seen with me or something. I have stayed married for our son, but I have finally decided that I am finished. I am going to file for legal seperation next month and move on with my life. I am pretty sure that there is someone out there who may actually aknowlege that I exist. If not, I would rather be lonely by myself, than be lonely with my husband sitting next to me.
Sometimes, people have to sacrifice some of their dreams to settle down and be a responsible spouse or parent. It is natural to do some wishful thinking about things you could have done in your life. However, if you find that your husband talks about his dreams of living somewhere else, making different choices or having a completely different lifestyle, you might interpret this as a sign that he is unhappy in the marriage and longing for a change.

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I have no idea where to begin or how to fix my marriage. I’ve been married 20 years to man who I feel as though he only loves me when I’m loving him the way he wants me to love him. I feel as though he only gives me attention when he has a buzz on. He drinks everyday and when the buzz sets in it’s “Hi hon how are you?” Otherwise he’s sullen and sits in front of the TV. I didn’t even get a card for our 20th anniversary. Whenever we go anywhere or do anything he ends getting drunk and lecturing me and chasting me and telling me I’ve failed him as his wife and mother of his children. I know that I’ve been emotionally abused by him and over the years I became so sad and depressed and just recently I made plans to end my life but b/c Ilove my children too much I couldn’t go through with it. I told my husband how I went to the cemetery to buy a plot for me and he never even put his arms around me. I’ve spend many nights and days crying, depressed, I’ve been to therapy, bought self help books, tried medication and then I found exercise and emotionally I’m feeling better. He would complain that I wouldn’t get up on the weeknds and go for a walk with him but now that I’m walking I asked him to come with me, he doesn’t go with me. Now I’ve turned into the abuser, I don’t talk to him I just go about my day as though it’s only me and my kids. I have more fun with my kids than I do with him. There’s no passion when it comes to sex. I never hear anything good about myself only the things that I don’t do for him and how I make him miserable and don’t support him. I’m afraid if I leave I’ll be even more depressed but if I stay all I’m doing is adding to my misery. I have more sad memories of our time together than I do of good ones. I think I can hold my head up high and walk away with dignity but at the same time I have empathy for him (which he doesn’t me for) yet I’m confused, hurt, angry and don’t know what to do. How do I fix this?
Like starting fires, starting fights left and right is not OK. "When your partner starts answering the simplest question you ask with an edge or a nasty attitude, you can bet your bottom dollar that your partner is fed up with you and the relationship," relationship coach and psychic medium Cindi Sansone-Braff, author of Why Good People Can't Leave Bad Relationships , tells Bustle. "This person may be trying to start a fight with you in order to end things."
I thought my partner was the one. Cheesy as hell right! I went back home to visit my parents for a month. He was supposed to come but made up excuses like he couldn’t get time of work, money ect. He broke up with me a week after being home over the phone while I was on the other side of the world literally. It was so hard going back knowing I had lost my house, cat everything. I had to live at a friends house until I found my feet again. He asked my to find a house in another state! Which for some stupid reason, I did!!? He new he wanted to break up with me before I left. He couldn’t give me a reason. Nothing. It was just because. It took him over a month to tell me some sort of reason. But still to this day tells me how much he loves me how much he wants to see me and every now and then reminds me we will never be together. He told me today he slept with someone else. It killed me inside. I’m numb, confused and so so hurt. Who new your actually felt pain when your heart gets torn to spreads. I find my self reading this artical and I think what the fk was I thinking chasing someone who doesn’t love me the way I deserve to be loved. Great article.
"So Sheila, at work, is having this really awful thing with her ex," he says, a little too sympathetically. You nod, also sympathetically, because you know that Sheila has been having digestive problems and had to go gluten-free, and also that Sheila's aunt with whom she was really close died last month, and...hold on. Why do you know so much about Sheila At Work? An overly enthusiastic friendship with a so-called work wife may not translate to actual nookie in the actual conference room—after all, you don't mind him having female friends—but it could suggest that something is lacking from your relationship that he is looking for somewhere else. And he may not even know it himself. But when he seems to have more sympathy for the ongoing sagas of Sheila At Work than he does with your own various ordeals, that's more than being a concerned colleague. That's a "We need to talk" memo.
As you probably see, sometimes it is worth to let go or to reflect on your own behavior. Although women are mostly called the queens of drama and the ones who search for problems, there are many aspects that bother men in a relationship as well. And since the relationship should be fulfilling, motivating and happy for each partner, remember about mutual concern, acceptance, and commitment.
Right, My husband is very stubborn and hates doctors or anything. So everything's a challenge but I always tend to keep the house tidy even when we are both working. And I always cook because he can't cook lol. But he was the one I married, and I intend on keeping him for the rest of my life. So ladies, don't be afraid of anything because that stopped us in the beginning because I felt ugly to him but you have to learn to let things go in marriage.
My boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me days before my birthday. He said, he is unhappy and that we know we love each other but we are not inlove anymore. We moved abroad to have a fresh start, cause last year he broke up with me too for 3 months at that time the relationship was in a long distance. But he chase me back and here we are now. Only 7months abroad something a new life, living in together. I asked him is there someone else so many times, at first he said none, 3 weeks after I found out he was already cheating while we were still together and before he broken things up with me with A YOUNGER GIRL at work. The day i confronted them, dont get me wrong, i still get them the respect even they did me wrong, he said he was going to tell me that night but I just knew or had proof already. I was so crashed but i know i still love him, i couldnt even hate him, he was doing her and doing me too. He said he has his reasons why he did that. But for me, you cheated. It shouldve hurt less if you didnt, upto this day he says that he has reasons why he had done such. He already moved out of our apt and chose her infront of me. I can’t explain the feeling i have. I didnt believe it until I saw it, i always tell myself he can’t do that to me but I was wrong. The person that i love so much did it and it hurts like hell.
My boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me days before my birthday. He said, he is unhappy and that we know we love each other but we are not inlove anymore. We moved abroad to have a fresh start, cause last year he broke up with me too for 3 months at that time the relationship was in a long distance. But he chase me back and here we are now. Only 7months abroad something a new life, living in together. I asked him is there someone else so many times, at first he said none, 3 weeks after I found out he was already cheating while we were still together and before he broken things up with me with A YOUNGER GIRL at work. The day i confronted them, dont get me wrong, i still get them the respect even they did me wrong, he said he was going to tell me that night but I just knew or had proof already. I was so crashed but i know i still love him, i couldnt even hate him, he was doing her and doing me too. He said he has his reasons why he did that. But for me, you cheated. It shouldve hurt less if you didnt, upto this day he says that he has reasons why he had done such. He already moved out of our apt and chose her infront of me. I can’t explain the feeling i have. I didnt believe it until I saw it, i always tell myself he can’t do that to me but I was wrong. The person that i love so much did it and it hurts like hell.

Love leads to many things good and bad but perhaps one of the most challenging is the way it links our happiness to the happiness of others. This connection largely explains why we often become frustrated or angry with the ones we love: in loving them, we frequently come to feel they're actually a part of us, and if they behave in a way we don't like, we feel an urge to put a stop to their behavior as if it were our own; their behavior may wound us and directly injure our own happiness, and our attempts to change it may be motivated out of a desire to make ourselves happy; and finally, we may genuinely respect the lives of those we love as distinctly separate from ours but feel frustrated or angry that they're acting in a way we think will harm their happiness.
My husband and I have been together for a little over 3 and half years and we’ve been married for a year and 3 months. Things have not been going well for quite some time. For the last 3 weeks we haven’t even been living together. He clearly has anger issues, he always has, but they have progressively gotten worse and worse. When we first met he had a lot of dependency on alcohol, he asked me for help to stop drinking and for a while he had it under control, but the last few months he has been returning to his old habits. He is constantly accusing me of cheating, to the point of literally saying it everyday. But this is just insane, because his jealousy is so bad that I only go out with him. I avoid girl’s night and me time to avoid horrendous fights. He’s constantly threatening me that he’s done, he wants a divorce, etc, but then shortly after begs for forgiveness. It has become a vicious circle. It seems as though he begs for forgiveness because he realizes everything he has to give up, I’m the bread winner in the relationship, I take care of all the bills and if he doesn’t stay with me he has to go live with his parents. Did I mention I’m 25 yrs old and he’s 30, it’s an awful lot of pressure because I take care of everything. His fits of anger have actually gotten to the point of truly scaring me, he starts punching and hitting things, it’s really bizarre. He has these ups and downs that remind of someone that is bi-polar. The sad part is as much as I’ve always loved him and part of me has always known that I made a mistake. Ever time my mind is made up and I’m ready to throw in the towel he somehow sucks me back in. As soon as I start to change my mind wondering if we can make it work, he acts like a crazed maniac, thus reminding me of why I want out. Like I mentioned earlier it’s a vicious circle and happens like clock work now. I believe the right thing for me to do is move on, but I can’t seem to make that happen. Since I keep getting drawn back in I start to wonder if I’m giving up to soon. But I’m so tired of fighting, being hurt, let down, you name it. I mean my husband actually talks bad about me behind my back, that can’t be normal, right? Unfortunately there are so many more issues I haven’t even touched on, but I’m hoping that with the information I have given you might be able to provide me with some insight into how to handle this and the direction I should be headed!

"Spouses usually have a threshold for how much time they can tolerate away from their partner so when a husband starts spending more and more time and energy on work, they're devoting less time and energy to their marriage," she said. "Several of the unhappy husbands I've worked with spent increasing amounts of time on their career, networking or generally pursuing interests outside of their marriage and away from their family life."

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