Thank you for sharing this. Right now, my soon to be ex husband of 12 years, is with his girlfriend and my children (as well as her children). I keep beating myself up and wondering why he is happier with her than he was with me. But in the end, I know I loved him well and couldn’t have done anything differently. I am not solely responsible for his happiness. Now he’s going out into the world to find it. But the world will come up empty in the end. Only God can fill the void he’s looking to fill. Please pray for me.
It took me a long while to realize my marriage was really over. I’ve been married 45+ years and right from the ‘I DO’s’ things turned horrible. We managed to have sex and intimacy on our wedding night, but that was short lived. Sex lasted maybe 20 minutes and he stayed in bed maybe another hour, then sat out by the pool the rest of the night. The next was an eye opener for me, first he told me how disgusting, messy, smelly, pointless, meaningless, vile to the point of him vomiting. We were suppose to go on a honeymoon, that never happened a total waste of money we really didn’t have. He took me home and said tonight I’m going to start working midnights and also I will be moving to the basement. He started eating, sleeping down stairs, also he built a apartment which didn’t include me. He worked all the time weekends, holiday’s, every one else’s vacation(he never took any of his vacation) according to his boss and the security people he slept in his station wagon at work a lot. One good thing he did do was pay all bills we owed, he never complained that I bought a new car and when I ran up good size bills on my credit card. He just seemed to hate me, wouldn’t talk to me, be with me and ignored me. Was my marriage over yes it was right from the beginning. I stayed because I was scared to go out on my own, I did have a beautiful roof over my head, had good benefits, and he pays the bills. I don’t care about myself or him, my days are winding down and it will be over for one of us.
MARRIAGE, THE WHYS THIS EVERTHING I CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHY MY HUSBAND A GREAT MAN A GREAT HUSBAND, A GREAT PARENT OVERALL HE WAS EVERYTHING TO ME… HE ONE DAY DECIDED TO LET ME KNOW HE WANTED A DIVORCE, I HONESTLY WAS VERY BLINDSIDED AND SHOCKED, I LOVE HIM IM IN LOVE WITH HIM AND HE WANTS OUT AS WELL AS HE WANTS TO THROW IT ALL AWAY, I ALWAYS BELEIVED I WAS GOING TO GROW OLD WITH MY HUSBAND I TOOK VOWS THAT ARE STILL SACRED TO ME WE RENEWED OUR VOWS I NEVER ONCE CHEATED ON HIM IM TRYING TO UNDERSTAND EACH DAY WHY THIS IS TRANSPIRING I BELEIVE HE HAS MADE UP HIS MIND ITS OVER AND THERE IS NO CHANCE HE HAS AN ALTERNATIVE PLAN I DONT EVEN BELEIVE HE EVER LOVED ME. I GIVE HIM HIS SPACE I STAY OUT OF HIS WAY WE STILL LIVE TOGETHER BUT I AM SURE THERES AN ALTERNATIVE SOMETHING ON HIS PART I AM MORE THAN WILLING TO WORK ALL THIS OUT HE WANTS NO PART OF IT ITS VERY HURTFUL AND SAD THERES NOTHING I CAN DO I TRIED TO SPEAK BOUT THE MARRIAGE HE STATES WE HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON AND HE WANTS OUT I BELEIVE OUR MARRIAGE WAS A PURE LIE TO ME FOR OVER 20 YEARS. I NEVER ONCE STOPPED LOVING HIM ALL I EVER WANTED WAS HIS ATTENTION AND AFFECTION AND LITTLE TIME FOR US. ANY SUGGESTIONS? OR IS IT OVER AND GO ON? PLEASE ADVISE I APPRECIATE AND WELCOME ALL ANSWERS THANK YOU SARA JOY

Which brings me to this final bit of hopeful advice. Just because you notice these signs, does not mean your relationship is doomed. "It just means that there is something going on that is either a) not tied to the relationship, but the stress is spilling over into it or b) something is wrong within the relationship that needs addressing in order to be fixed," Rogers says. If you two can have that heart-to-heart, it is possible to reignite that happiness, and stay together.
Second, you might consider leaving our husband on a trial basis. Move out, give yourself and him a chance to figure out if your marriage is over. The time and distance might do you both good. Sometimes it’s difficutl to see what big life decision we should make when were in the thick of it all…but stepping out of our marriages through a separation can bring clarity and objectivity. And, that clarity can help you know if it’s time to end your relationship.
“When we communicate in this state, we are truly mean,” writes Ellie Lisitsa in The Four Horsemen: Contempt on The Gottman Institute’s blog about strengthening relationships. “Treating others with disrespect and mocking them with sarcasm are forms of contempt. So are hostile humor, name-calling, mimicking, and/or body language such as eye-rolling and sneering. In whatever form, contempt is poisonous to a relationship because it conveys disgust. It’s virtually impossible to resolve a problem when your partner is getting the message that you’re disgusted with him or her.”
My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years, we have definitely had our ups and downs but throughout everything we’ve always stuck by each other’s side. About a month and a half ago he told me that he wanted to take a break from our relationship so that he could take some time to work on himself & I was 100% okay with that, but eventually it was revealed that he’s been having doubts about our relationship because I’m younger than him (2.5 year age difference) & there’s also this girl that he has like me for some time now that he wants to talk to. I know he has some strong feelings for this girl because anytime we’re remotely close to getting back together he runs into her (they go to school && work together) and totally second guesses our whole relationship. It hurts me because I want to be with him for the rest of my life, but I know deep down he really wants the other girl. I’ve asked him several times if he would rather be with me or her & he always says “I don’t know.” That tells me that he doesn’t really want me anymore because how could you even compare a 4 year relationship to a crush? I’m just really in a sad place right now because I feel like our relationship is over. He still tells me he loves me and tries to act like we’re still together but I know that it’s her that he really wants. I’ve told him to go be with her because I know that’s what he really wants and I love him enough to let him go so that he can be with someone who is everything that he wants and more. He tells me he won’t do it because he doesn’t want me to get involved with anyone else. I just don’t know what to do anymore. He’s literally my best friend and I have no one else that I can talk to about our relationship. I really don’t want to leave him.. I want us to be happy together again.
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Three years ago, when my daughter was around 7 months old, I felt like I was having an identity crisis. I was on summer vacation from work, and I spent each day caring for our daughter all day. On top of that, I had volunteered to babysit a younger cousin of mine and have him spend the summer with us so that he could go to summer camp during the day and get tutoring from me in the evenings. After a while, each day felt the same-breastfeeding, cooking, cleaning, tutoring. I felt like all I was doing was making everyone else’s life easier, while losing a part of myself in the process.
Learn to show unselfish love to your husband. Love can be measured. If you truly love your husband and you show it all the time, he will be able to compare your love with those of other strange women and will be afraid to take the steps that may eventually consume him and the family. You can display this by resolving your marital problems in the spirit of love.
"People mistakenly believe that they shouldn't ask for what they want from their partner, when in actuality it is the best way to communicate and get what you want from your relationship. Your partner shouldn't expect you to meet all their needs—expecting someone to 'complete' you is a romantic idea but not a healthy one. But healthy couples do work together to make sure the most important needs are being met." —Clark
Hi. Me and my husband have only been married for a little over 2 years. I think I plunged in too quickly. We only have 1 child together and I have a child before he came along. I’m the one always doing everything. I only work part time. I do all of the cleaning around our house, taking the trash out, washing clothes, etc. he complains after work if the house isn’t up to par, but yet doesn’t put in any hand to help clean it. He complains about not having anything to wear, because he’s too lazy to wash his own clothes when they run out. Anytime I want to go hand out with my friends, it’s always a fight, and I end up not going. I never get to do anything. I’m bored sitting at home, so I play on Facebook, he complains about that. So I started reading books. He’s complaining about that now also. After reading 50 shades of grey, I’ve realized I don’t have that love feeling. I feel like I have more of a settlement agreement. We are only intimate with each other maybe once a month, and it’s my fault because that whole feeling is just not there anymore. I don’t have butterflies, I don’t get excited, nothing. I honestly feel that if he told me he wanted to divorce me right now, I’d laugh and say thank God. To me, the marriage is over pretty much. What do you think?
This is my story my husband is in prison doing 25 to life done 23 i knew him before prison Started writing him as i was married to someone else as a friend divorce writing him yet he asked me to marry him i didn’t answer several several months later married someone else divorce writing him yet i was scared first time asked can i do a marriage like that all that time i married him now7 years He has got very mean controling and disrespectful within last 6 months he has applied for sentence reduction which may come though for him He as done very well programs looks good for his second chance I am his only family basically with his attitudes its time i feel do i give up but i want it to work but he thinks its me not him he knows attitude help

It takes patience to develop a strong relationship, and if you pressure your boyfriend to move in together or get engaged, chances are he will feel like you’re forcing him. It’s best to let things happen naturally and realize that if you get along, that’s all that matters and if you don’t get along, moving in together isn’t going to solve that problem.
You don’t necessarily need to leave him…maybe you just need a trial separation. Maybe you both need some time and space to figure out what you want your marriage to be like, and to decide if you can build a happy marriage together. Maybe the prospect of divorce is what your husband needs, to snap him out of his slump! And if he does have Asperger’s, maybe the thought of losing you will encourage him to get help.
I am recently going through some trying things in my marriage. My husband is always accusing me of cheating. He is never satisfied with anything that I do for him. He says that I’m irresponsible and that I only think of myself. I have really taken on a lot since we got married. We have only been married for two months and it already feels like our relationship is over. He has two children outside our marriage and he is on probation. Therefore, his problems are my problems. I took on that responsibility with no appreciation. I feel so alone in our home. We argue constantly about the same thing. It never ends. I recommended that we do marriage counseling but he refused and said that I am the only one with the problem, that I need counseling. I have never cheated on my husband. Anything he needs me to do I do it. I mean, I didn’t marry because it was something to do. I married my husband because I love him and I thought that he loved me. Moreover, I felt that we were connected and that we would be happy together. I guess he is just not happy with me or maybe he’s just not happy with himself. He told me yesterday that he would be better off with his ex-girlfriend. Then he threatened to call her to come to our house (For his sake and hers–not a bright idea.) What can I do to fix this? I have prayed countless time but it seems like God is not listening. Did I marry the wrong man or could we make this work? Is my marriage over?
Sliding Into Marriage. Couples often have low levels of commitment and end up sliding into marriage instead of making a very conscious and clear decision to be committed to their future spouse. This frequently happens when couples live together, but aren’t officially married yet. The issue is that when this “sliding” occurs, there is less initial commitment and willingness to stick it out when things get tough, which is essential to any marriage. In other words, if you slide into your marriage you may be more likely to slide right on out. A low commitment level is a warning sign your marriage is over (or that it never really began).

According to Hope, keeping your man interested goes beyond sex. "Men want to be with women who wear high heels, take great care of themselves, and look hot," she told me. "This never changes with them. So if you are a wife who is bogged down with daily chores and worries, thus letting yourself go in the process, this could be the secret turn-off button."
Try your hardest to focus only on the negative parts of the marriage.  I am sure there were red flags from Day 1.  Of course, there was also the time he drove an hour to meet you for a half hour, or sent you that funny email, or when he first told you he loved you.  But those things pale in comparison to all the crappy stunts he’s pulled, so do your best to erase the positive incidents from your memory entirely.  What good could it do to lead with the positives anyway?  You’re trying to get through to him here, and the best way is to emphasize what a complete mistake this marriage was in the first place.  Wait till you see how hard he tries to fix things once you’ve told him they are entirely unsalvageable!
If he starts spending more time with his friends than earlier, it may be a sign that he`s is not happy with you anymore. Moreover, if he finds new and new excuses to avoid you and you rarely see him and talk to him, it’s a sure sign your relationship is over. Couples shouldn’t have secrets, because even the smallest lie can ruin any strong relationship.
If your partner allows himself to publicly humiliate you and laughs at your failures, do not expect anything good from such a relationship. Such a partner doesn’t respect you, and a strong and reliable union is impossible without respect. By criticizing you with other people, he unconsciously tries to prove to others (and himself) that it’s your fault that he stopped loving you.
I am a doer, not a talker, and I will not sit by and be part of a train wreck that I can clearly see, whether it is mental or physical.   If I have a boyfriend who has cancer, and he will not seek help, I will not stand by for X number of months or years in anguish just to go down with him.  If he is going to doctors, getting treatments, I would stand by him and hold his hand on his deathbed.  None of the posters said anything about abandoning anyone.  I would stay with my Asperger man and help him navigate through this, if he wanted the help!  What I will not do is stand there and be collateral damage. 
I knew going in that he was jealous – but was sure that it would be something I could live with – he wasn’t over the top, but then that’s exactly what it became. I’ve been accused of flirting, hitting on little 19 year old boys (I’m 38) and having affairs with men I work with, trying to seduce our pastor, etc – I have tried to reassure him, confessed my love for him, and reconfirmed that I was committed to this relationship…but it has spiralled. it’s become abusive – not in the physical sense – but emotional and mental. I have called him names and thrown things, and so has he. We are in counseling and have learned about ‘time-outs’ and the four horsemen (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling) and I have sincerely been trying to show him and our relationship respect (although I have gotten frustrated and hurt, and called him an a$$$hole through tears, and hung up). He can be very mean to me, and it hurts. I have tried and tried, prayed and prayed – been rebuked, sneered at and ridiculed for turning to supportive friends for guidance. I even see my own counselor, but he doesn’t like that.
In every relationship mistakes happen where one partner is caught being unfaithful, then the relationship is now tested and may even end up ending, the crazy love spell makes sure that the relationship is back on track and the two lovers go back to being happy and in love, its not everyday where you are forgiven for being unfaithful to your partner that’s why if you find yourself in that situation you contact the good Dr. Eziza to help you solve this emotional problem on +2348058176289
What’s happened as a result has been brilliant. I started tuning much more actively into my husband — prioritizing him, touching him regularly (holding his hand, sitting very close to him, hugging him, rubbing his shoulders, etc), more actively praising and appreciating him, and — crucially — not letting my ego get the best of me and not letting my need to be right lead to Armageddon. As a result, I have managed to bring out the best in my husband.
There are times when I feel so miserable and powerless. He says all the right things when he’s himself. He will tell me I am beautiful, he loves me, his heart beats for me, and how he wants us to get past this area in life where we don’t agree on anything. I don’t think the problem is so much that we don’t agree as I do he won’t let that stand. He thinks if he talks to me long enough, whatever the issue, I will see it his way. When that doesn’t happen, he gets more angry. Then I am stupid, naive, and an idiot that can’t see past the end of my nose.

HELLO MY NAME IS JANE I AM 44 YEARS OLD HAVE TWO BEAUTIFUL KIDS. MY HUSBAND AN I MARRIED FOR 19 YEARS. HE IS A GREAT FATHER AND HUSBAND. BUT WHAT HURT ME THE MOST IS HIS LIE , ALWAYS HAVE EXCUSE WENT I CAUGHT HIM IN A LIE.IF YOU ASK ME HOW MUCH I TRUST HIM ,I WOULD SAY ONLY 20 PERCENT.WHAT I FEEL INSIDE MY HEART IS I LOVE HIM AND DON’T TRUST HIM SOUND STUPID RIGHT. EVERY SINCE HE LOST HIS DAD HE DO THE DUMB THINGS, HE BLAME HIMSELF BECAUSE HE WAS NOT AROUND . I SAID TO HIM YOU ARE NOT JUST HURTING YOURSELF YOU ARE HURTING ME AND THE KIDS. HE OWE SO MUCH MONEY WHICH WE ARE PAYING OFF LITTLE BY LITTLE. WE HAS A TALK YESTERDAY AND I SAID TO HIM I FEEL BETTER IF YOU DON’T LIE TO ME AN TALK OUT THE PROBLEM WITH ME . I SAID NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY BUT YESTERDAY I COULD NOT SLEEP JUST WONDER WHAT I SHOULD DO?
Since last year i struggle to feel secure as he cheated on me and i couldn’t feel reassured… we fought lots in front of the kids. He is Bipolar 2 and 2 months ago he tried to commit suicide and i was by his side through everything… We still had issues afterwards because i felt this could have made a difference and made us grow closer but nothing. 2 weeks ago we had a big fight because he didn’t want to answer a question about money and again i’ve asked him a straight forward question where the money came from and he didn’t answer me, he just said from his account. I felt hurt because he used to blame me because of our finance.. i spend too much etc and that’s why at times he keeps money aside for me not to know..
I too am in the same position, I see the signs my marriage is over. I’ve been with my husband for 12 years but am only 26 yr’s old. I started dating my husband at the age of 14 he is 9 yr’s older than me. We have two kids a 9 yr old and 4 yr old. I try to stay positive because of them but I just no longer feel that emotional aspect towards my hubby. I don’t feel love for him even when we have inter course it’s just not there. I am just wondering since am only 26 and been with him since 14 I jumped to soon. He’s a wonderful person very working, what ever I want I get, but the love from me to him is no longer there. It bothers me when he touches me or hugs me or kisses me. I don’t know what he will do if I decide to separate he’s not a strong soul very low self esteem person.

I agree with Cathy, Aly. You struck a deep nerve for something. I am so sorry. I have just realized my husband of almost 30 years was not the man he pretended to be either. And he pretended the entire marriage, while rejecting me to the point I have been in what is considered a sexless marriage. I was a beautiful, happy, intelligent girl once but now that I am ill and old he told me he is a sex addict, that he has fantasies about every women I’ve ever been close to, that he took my (soon to become) best friend for sex the day before our wedding and the reason his suit was not ready was because he wasn’t planning on going through with it, that he wanted to leave me for her for the first 3-1/2 years of marriage… when his ‘first’ disclosure got past 6 women and he mentioned how full of life and energy my granddaugther was I exploded. She is/was 6 years old at the time. He goes after anything with a pulse and is one of the guys that masturbate in public hoping to get caught — even in areas with children. However, I thought he was a shy, sweet, creative and gentle man who would never harm a soul and didn’t have a dishonest bone is his body. He has enjoyed letting me know what a fool I was… then he retreats and becomes the person I thought he was, but this is only because he hasn’t gotten his next victim lined up. After I realized something didn’t feel right (illness can bring incredible clarity) then he took his mask off, and he was an insect wearing an Edgar suit. Truly evil, manipulative and cunning — not one bit like who I believe for my entire adult life. My shock just can’t settle down.
My boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me days before my birthday. He said, he is unhappy and that we know we love each other but we are not inlove anymore. We moved abroad to have a fresh start, cause last year he broke up with me too for 3 months at that time the relationship was in a long distance. But he chase me back and here we are now. Only 7months abroad something a new life, living in together. I asked him is there someone else so many times, at first he said none, 3 weeks after I found out he was already cheating while we were still together and before he broken things up with me with A YOUNGER GIRL at work. The day i confronted them, dont get me wrong, i still get them the respect even they did me wrong, he said he was going to tell me that night but I just knew or had proof already. I was so crashed but i know i still love him, i couldnt even hate him, he was doing her and doing me too. He said he has his reasons why he did that. But for me, you cheated. It shouldve hurt less if you didnt, upto this day he says that he has reasons why he had done such. He already moved out of our apt and chose her infront of me. I can’t explain the feeling i have. I didnt believe it until I saw it, i always tell myself he can’t do that to me but I was wrong. The person that i love so much did it and it hurts like hell.
In the meantime, we're just going to have to trust our guts, and do some communication-related adulting to make sure everyone is happy and satisfied in the relationship. However, that doesn't mean there aren't plenty of clues to help you on your way. After all, the more skilled you are at picking up your partners cues, the better you will be at maintaining the health and well-being of your relationship. So, if you want to get ahead of the game, here are six things to watch out for, according to the experts.
Well I'm in a similar situation... I've been with my boyfriend since late 2009 (we recently celebrated our three year) but for the past couple of weeks we've been argueing like crazy. I do admit I am the type that can come off as needy or smothering, and I am trying my best to work on that issue as I know that it pushes him away over time. Recently it's become so bad that he's tried to end things with me on a couple of occasions because he is not happy with me. However we are now at a point where he thinks its best if we "take things slow" by maybe giving each other more space for a couple of weeks. He says he still wants to work things out between us. I don't know what to make of it. I'm not sure if he's being genuine about wanting things to work, or if he's just doing this so that he doesn't hurt my feelings. Any insight would be appreciated!
Me too. But “disappointment” isn’t a value nor a boundary. What is a non-negotiable value of yours that precedes your disappointment? What decision would you make as a result? What consequences are you willing to face when your boundary for your relationship values is crossed? What invitation could a man/woman make to their partner to address the situation without blaming them? Self-reliance is all about owning our responsibility for our own initiative – without dependence on the outcome.
Thank you for your support. I assume that the response was that I am the guilty party, which is OK. I can take that. My mistake was that carrying on after my “affair” was a sign of forgiveness. After all, even in “fault” states if a woman sleeps with her husband after infidelity that is a sign that she moved on and has no reasons to sue later on. Yes, our marriage is one of assymetry. My wife has always used sex as a barganing chip, claiming that she does not need it and that is my reward for “good behavior”. I guess I was always a man of somewhat low self esteem and I put that on myself.However, our story does have updates. Soon after I posted, I found out that she did not only posted on one site but on multiple sites. All full blown profiles with pictures and everything. I found checked profiles of men she apparently liked on many sites. What was a full-blown smack in the head was a number of searches on dating sites, google, chat forums about “how to date a married woman”, “pitfalls of dating a married woman” “why men talk dirty online”, “how not to be a pervert”, even for terms like “eating man’s cake”. Numerous links to background checks, reverse phone numbers lookups. Even the search ” I kissed a man and did not feel anything? Why?” My head was absolutely spinning. Months of lies and deception. And then come more lies. When confronted, she came up with a story of lonelines and just looking for friends, even claiming she did not post pictures when I actually have them on disk. She quickly went on to delete the profiles from the sites I mentioned to her, but left intact those that I did not. Quite stupis behavior, caught liek a dear in the headlights. And no she did not kiss anyone, but no explanation for the search. Could anybody come up with a reasonable explanation why would a woman do such a serch. I am dying to get an unbiased opinion. Just when you think you know somebody. To think that I actually believed that she does not like sex!! I could only imagine what her mailbox looks like! Do I even want to know?

6. Trust him: We know rom-coms taught you that men are incompetent horndogs who turn into drooling cavemen around even mildly attractive women, but please remember to respect your partner’s intelligence by not falling for this shit. Do not hound him about his cute co-worker, neighbor, or friend. Insecurity is a major boner-shrinker, and unwarranted lecturing, snooping, and accusing are sure to get you nowhere. If you have any legitimate concerns about cheating, a respectful and honest conversation is usually the best place to start.


If you try to change your boyfriend, he will feel pressure and it won’t keep him happy. If you focus on what you like about him, and his good traits, it will build confidence in him, and help him develop in positive ways. I’m not telling you to inflate his ego and ignore things that really bother you, but accept that no one is perfect, not even yourself.
He resents you for having an affair. Plain and simple. It appears he is avoiding dealing with these feelings, which is leading him more and more into a downward spiral. The fact that he moved out, is indicative that he is involved with someone else (there's no reason he would need to move out to be depressed, he can do that at home). He needs to see a therapist, and start dealing with these issues instead of avoiding them.
I absolutely love your tips. They are all so true. Sometimes as married women we have to give and take to make our relationships work for ourselves and our children. It is difficult sometimes when you think that you are the only one being considerate and making an effort, but sometimes that's what it takes when you really love your man. There is really no point arguing all the time. This will only cause misery and hatred in the relationship. I personally love being sexy for my husband. I aslo respect him, take care of the house and cook although I do not really like to cook. Doing these things make me feel like a stronger woman; like I am able to take care of myself and my family.
You can do whatever you want. You really want to try that new restaurant, but your man said no. You’re crushed. If you were single, you could go whenever you wanted. You can seriously do whatever you want. Haven’t you ever noticed how happy some single women are? They don’t base their happiness on a man. They do what makes them happy and if a man is a part of their life great. If not, great.
I’ve been with my guy for a few years. His is my best friend, and I can honestly say I love him. Lately I haven’t felt happy. We are in a long distance relationship, and the last few times I got to see him I was not as excited as I was in the past. The thought of breaking up with him makes me feel sick sometimes, and the explaining to everyone would be exhausting. I look at my siblings and see how happy they are with their significant others. Sometimes I feel like I don’t look at my guy the way I see other couples look at each other.
If you have been in a relationship for months or years, you probably take your partner for granted and don’t pay any attention to his feelings. Of course, not all of these signs means it’s time to break up. Maybe your man simply need some help and inspiration to cope with his problems but doesn’t know how to tell you about it. Do you feel like your man is unhappy with you?

Sometimes,Life can be very displeasing especially when we loose the ones we love and cherish so much. in this kind of situation where one loses his/her soul mate there are several dangers engage in it. one may no longer be able to do the things he was doing before then success will be very scarce and happiness will be rare. that person was created to be with you for without him things may fall apart. That was my experience late last year. but thank god today i am happy with her again. all thanks goes to Dr. EDIONWE, i was nearly loosing hope until i saw an article on how Dr. EDIONWE could cast a love spell to make lovers come back. There is no harm in trying, i said to my self. i contacted him via email: edionwesolutiontemple@gmail.com. words will not be enough to appreciate what he has done for me. i have promised to share the good news as long as i live.


Hi, thank you for your article. The signs you have pointed out here have been happening to me and my husband. We are 5 years married. He is not with us always because of his job and he only gets home every other month or two months (and only stays 1 week). Before our big fight, we have a very smooth sailing relationship. Always calling, texting. But last year I got pregnant with our 2nd child and I wasn’t able to go to him (the place where he stayed, and where he worked). I think that was when it all started (when everything has fallen apart).
my husband really love me before 1year and then he didn't respond me for everything i always try my best to happy my huaband but he can't understand me he always said me i was lie to him but it is not truth its just understanding am really upset and worry for that i really love him i leave every thing for him and he also i have no more option to correct my relation plz tell me what shall i do
Sure, it would be nice every once in a while, but realize that men are wired differently than us. What we are thinking in our head that he should do is almost always not what he is going to do. Realize that all those romantic movies are most likely written by women. Don't let your expectations exceed your reality because you've been watching too many romantic comedies and reading too many books.

Iam also in the same boat , my husband told me few days before that he loves me but not in love with me . It's killing me from inside , he never made me realised that he is not happy with me , I always believed he loves me so much , I was completely satisfied with my marriage .iam very broken now , don't know what will happen in future , I asked him if he has some affair , but he is not telling me anything . I love him so much , it's shocking to hear all this from him .
So, you need to figure out if you’re just going through the normal ups and downs of marriage…or if you’re truly not in love with him. How do you do that? You could try individual counseling, couples therapy, or even Mort Fertel’s “alternative to therapy” (a friend of mine LOVES how Fertel coaches marriages — his ad is at the end of my article above).
I’ve talked to him about going to a doctor because I think there’s some kind of imbalance there but he refuses. There’s nothing wrong with him, he says he’ll just stop drinking. The thing is, I don’t think it’s the alcohol. I think the alcohol is bringing it out more, but I think he really is miserable and sad inside himself. I don’t like this either. I don’t want him to suffer, but I don’t like the fact that he won’t do anything to help himself either. He quit his job recently and is now sitting at home looking for jobs online. He used to be so social and I think he needs that but he just can’t or won’t get started.
Funny that I had the same question and my name is Katie. But I refuse to accept the answer. My boyfriend and I are a perfect match. But just because he has a diagnosed mood disorder, I should drop him? No. That is selfish. After being with my boyfriend for 3+ years, he gone from constantly miserable to having the occassional cruddy day. He saw how his behavoir affected me, yet I didn’t just leave. Now he tries to better himself and fight through his bipolar and depression because he hates hurting people. Especially me.
Life does not revolve around one’s self. The pursuit of your own happiness could be selfish if you cannot confess to yourself that you, as a human, will never be perfect. Picking at petty likes and dislikes in a partner is silly and frankly your looking for reasons to be unhappy. Count your blessings, not your burdens. I love that my partner has her own likes, her own talents, her own music, her own routine. Because I fully support who she is, everything she is. And if one day she decides she no longer wants to be with me, all she has to do is be honest and tell me to my face. I would let her go. In the end arguing and pointing fingers is just smashing the whole idea of marriage anyway. In my opinion marriage is overrated. I would never want my parnter to feel like she is bound to me. Because we are born free and we die free. If someone cheated on you, its a favor. Live your life and move on. I would never cheat on my partner, hurt her, yell at her, make her feel insignificant, simply because I dont want to go out of my way to hurt the persons feelings I vowed my life to. I would take a bullet for her, and I wouldnt ever hold it against her if she wouldnt do the same for me. We are all individuals, who desire specific things, emotions, reactions. If my partner is being distant, depressed, sad, I gladly lift her chin and do what I can to make it better. Dont lie to yourselves, or your parnter. You know if the love is there. If its not, you will only cause pain to others because of your inability to face up. Nothing in a relationship is easy. Though nothing in life is easy. When the going gets tough in life do you end it? The bond two people can share in this life is amazing. I have had a tough road with my partner for our own reasons, but I gave up all my wants, all my needs to serve my partner when she needed me most. The outcome is a strong bond that no one can shake. I am writing this in hopes that maybe one person will read this and get something from it. I am far from perfect. But the first person I point fingers at when a problem arises is myself. Only when there are no skeletons in your own closet can you truly judge what a partner is right and wrong for doing.
“For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage. So then, if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress, even though she marries another man.” Romans 7:2-3

Changing how you respond involves taking a step back, and carefully considering what to say and do. I found it helpful to talk to a counselor, because I didn’t know what my “triggers” where, and how my behavior affected my husband. If you need help with your marriage, I encourage you to talk to a counselor, and get an objective and balanced perspective.
So, my questions are two. 1. What can I do to help him realize he needs some kind of help? 2. The lack of feeling on my part during sex (which is usually an emotional event for me).. is that an indication that my marriage may be over? I know it is because I don’t trust him right now and haven’t for a long time, but I figured that would just make me guarded, not unfeeling. It felt so wrong and makes me worry.
Even worse, he lost to the one cheater that insists you don't actually have to throw the slammer! I met a few people, one being my best friend sadly, who insisted that you were allowed to just push down hard on the top edge of them with the slammer until the force was too much and suddenly 90-100% of the pile would flip over lol. It lasted a few days until nobody would play with them anymore.
It may be time to accept that he can’t love you the way you want to be loved. Your boyfriend isn’t ready to be in a relationship with you. It’s harsh, but he texted or told you that he doesn’t want you in his life anymore. He doesn’t love you, and you have to accept that he is not the one for you. If your boyfriend doesn’t have love for you in his heart, you have to allow him to have his true feelings. You have to accept your relationship, and be honest about your future. It hurts, but it’s the best way to move forward with a boyfriend who doesn’t love you the way you want to be loved.
My question to Laurie: Is that All that you are going to say to peter? You have totally thrown in to the sea of forgotten the reason he got to the infidelity in the first place. Maybe you need to go back and review that article. I mean seriously , what the hell could he have done to stop her from acting like that? All too often women want men to be men and understand why he has to go a whole year without sex, sandwhiched with disconnection and disrespect on HER part, mentally beat us for what their fire mothers went thru with our forefathers which none of either sex had nothing to do with or know anything of,(which made life better and women and children more respectable and families STAYED TOGETHER), have freedom to be with other people and show off, and then you wanna make stupid little forums about how to subtly throw the man under the bus when the WOMAN IS THE ONE DOING IT ALL???!! Women have gone too far and its time us husbands had done something about it. You are like my wife; the woman with her husband in walmart with the tight shorts that crawl into her juicy ass that i asked her not to wear because its doing exactly what i didnt want which is other men having their attention GRABBED by it but show me enogh respect only because im there to not yell out DAM!! that ass is juicy, but would approach her if i werent there. and when they turn away her walk changes statements from im sexy to if you dont look at me theres going to be big problems. im going through the same as you peter only difference is the four kids i helpd her raise are not biologically mine; which makes it even harder. And everyday i ask myself the same question as you while these reptilian women get congress’ support to sabotage and rape us of our manhood for a mere laugh.If there was ever an organization to put an end to such debauchery and mutilation of the man child species, you can bet your man panties you can look me up and make me apart of the regime!
If you want to stop your husband from cheating, you must devise a good plan for your marriage. No marriage can succeed without a plan. Building a marriage is like building a house; you must have a burning desire to make it work. You need to develop a plan for the marriage and every day sit down with your spouse and show him your plan. During this time, let him see the cost involved in building a successful marriage, taking care of the home and the kid's education. Soon, your husband will realize the cost of his cheating and will discover it is not worthy to be spending money and time outside on strange women when the one he is married to is a better planner and organizer.

Due to the differences in the upbringing of boys and girls, we tend to see man as less emotional and sensitive. The truth is, they are not so different than us, they also need love, attention, and understanding, but since they were usually taught that they have to be tough, they might have some difficulties with expressing those needs. They have their own insecurities and wounds that need healing. Even though they’re usually much better at hiding such a things, we’re not the only ones who need approval and encouragement.
Hi and thanks for your site. I love it! I’ve been married going on 3 months but have been with my husband for 2 years prior to marriage. I don’t know where to begin. I feel like I am going crazy and I don’t know what to do. I feel that my husband is a good man but we have a lot of issues to work on. I came from an abusive household but my husband didn’t. we both very bad tempers and there has been a lot of mean words said and physical violence on both of our parts. Whenever we argue my husband always brings up my childhood to deflect what it is that I have a problem with even though I’ve asked him not to do this. For example, he works long hours 6 days a week while I go to school 5 days a week 6 hours a day and do all of the household chores including laundry, cleaning, dishes, grocery shopping , and I always have a hot meal prepared for him when he gets home plus getting up early in the morning to make him breakfast and a lunch for work. He does absolutely nothing but work. On his day off he spend 12-16 hours playing videogames. When I asked him when we would spend time together he told me that he wanted to have fun and was playing the game. I asked if he meant that playing a videogame was more fun than hanging out with me and he said yes. Then he proceeded to put me down for not doing the laundry in a timely manner.

It turns out that even monkeys are able to feel jealous of their partners around other males. Jealousy arose in the course of evolution as a way to maintain the integrity of the couple. A man is wired so that subconsciously he wants to declare his rights to a woman and to be the only “owner” of her beauty. Therefore, it is quite natural that your man starts to get nervous when someone pays attention to you. But people, of course, are not monkeys, and bouts of excessive jealousy will only harm the relationship.
Im 22 years old and have a pne month old baby boy. After moving in with my now husband, I found out he was cheating on me with a co-worker even before I was pregnant. When I confronted him hr first denied it until I showed him proof. I love him very much. His son and me need him. I dont want my child to not grow up without his dad. If it was just me I would of left. But im thinking about what is best for my son. After we talked about it we said we would try to make it work. I thought he would stop but I catch him lying to me and getting out to go see her. I went through his phone and saw that he tells her he loves her and hates having to leave each other. She tells him that she hates knowing that he comes home to me. I love him but I feel so hurt about everything especially after the fat that we have a son now. We had made so many plans that im am soo confused and not sure of his feelings. He doesn’t tell me he loves me. He says that the fire in our relationship is not there or the love like when we meet 2years ago. I dont know what to do or how to make our relationship work. How do I bring tjat intimacy back into our relationship. Im not talking about sex but emotionally.

Everyone deserves to be happy.  You determine what happiness means to you.  My definition of happiness is to be with someone who accepts me just as I am (as I do the same) and who shares my excitement and passion for life.   Define what happiness means to you and then go after it.  Create your own happiness with someone who shares your life goals, not spoils them 🙂

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If you're hoping to build something long-term, it's important that you plan a little bit together or be willing to cooperate and remain flexible. If your partner discusses their own future and doesn't imagine you as part of it then they're probably not planning on building a future with you. This could mean marriage, kids, or even just your bucket list.

I’m so frustrated I don’t know where to start. If your spouse constantly texts other women about being intimate with them and when he gets caught he gives me this boo hoo episode claims he is sorry don’t wanna lose his marriage but repeat thus act over n over again. We tried counselling but stop going he states he was molested as a child n he needs to feels wanted by a female! Hell I’m his wife but I’m at my end I want out!
It's normal to feel a twinge of jealousy whenever you think about your single friends going out there and doing whatever they want, talking to different guys and flirting with anyone without guilt. But if you feel that way most of the time, that's a sign that you're looking for something different than what you have. Pay attention to how often you feel jealous of their lifestyle.
Yes ill admit after begging and pleading over the last 16 months I know I resent him now! He and I are good looking people we are in our late 20s and I truly am falling out of love with him now. He has been the love of my life for 8 years and he can’t stand the act of making love to me. BTW there is no way he is cheating on me. He says he wants to work on things but he hasn’t tried, then he says I should be trying too. Is that not what I had been doing for over 2 years!!! It’s like he feels it coming to an end but he is brainwashing himself to believe its my fault we don’t have sex
While it's impossible to sustain the 24/7 texting spree that was the early part of your relationship, you might want to say something if your partner currenly refuses to text back. "It’s easier to recognize distance with your partner through texting," Bizzoco says. "They may take longer to respond to your messages or suddenly become busy and don’t have time to talk." It's just another sign you're not their priority.
In some of the comments, women have been very negative. The article states men are wired deferantly. When a man does something good, thank him, tell him IN SIMPLE WORDS, with a smile, how much you appreciate or love whatever he did. IE... When he does take a shower, hug him up look him in the eyes and tell him how good he smells, how you love when he's smelling all fresh and clean. If you tell a man what pleases you, he will do it again!
If your partner has become a "short fuse," life coach Kali Rogers tells Bustle, this could be a prob. "If you notice a shift in patience that could be a sign your partner isn't happy with your compatibility," she says. "Short fuses are common when people are unhappy in relationships, and [are] a way for your partner to get pent-up anger out." Obviously this is not OK, so if it's happening to you, call your mate on it — stat.
I dated this girl once who was very into verbal jousting – you know that thing you do where you tease each other, even nonsensically, before you kiss? The problem was, she liked to keep going and I would have to have a riposte for every cute little jibe. Then she would respond with something else and I would have to have yet another comeback, and it would go on like this. I found the game exhausting, but she got off on it. We didn’t last very long, but I guess she needed to find someone who could “keep up” as Evan puts it.
I also pray for acceptance, wisdom, and guidance for you. May you seek God’s heart in all the decisions you make about your marriage and your future. May you accept His will, His desires, and His guidance for your life. I don’t know what the future holds for you, but God does. I pray that you can rely on Him, turn to Him, and lean on Him – even if you believe you have all the signs your marriage is over. I pray for health, for healing, for restoration in your life. I pray that you find hope and faith, and that you open your heart to any possibility that God might bring you. Be open, be willing to follow His will even if it’s painful. Give your marriage to God, and He will strengthen and uphold you no matter what happens.
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