"Many people in relationships make the mistake of giving up their past friends to focus solely on couple time. However, doing everything together can create staleness in the relationship and is a great recipe for both partners to get sick of each other. To be happy, you both need to make time for your separate friends, even if it's just a couple of days a month." —Jonathan Bennett, certified counselor and relationship coach with The Popular Man
Like starting fires, starting fights left and right is not OK. "When your partner starts answering the simplest question you ask with an edge or a nasty attitude, you can bet your bottom dollar that your partner is fed up with you and the relationship," relationship coach and psychic medium Cindi Sansone-Braff, author of Why Good People Can't Leave Bad Relationships , tells Bustle. "This person may be trying to start a fight with you in order to end things."
And sweet to me. After living together out of college he didn’t have a job and I did. I helped provide for him . Then he got a job and we both held down the house and bills together. I quit my job and got another one after 2 weeks. Then he lost his job. We have Soo many bills. I am losing interest in him. He has gained a lot of weight, he doesn’t clean (just dishes ). Also when we go out on dates he is yawning and not talking to me. I feel like he is bored with me. He likes to stay in the house all
Background Information – He is ex-military but when we lived in Washington state, he went through some things. I tried to be understanding, even though I didn’t understand. He would sleep all day, play video games all night, and the only interaction we had was fighting over the kids. It came to a head one night and the fighting got a tiny bit physical. I’ve been in an extremely abusive relationship when I was in my early 20’s. I refuse to do it again. I contacted family services on base and we started counseling. It was mandatory for him. I have two teenage daughters from the marriage I was in previously, and my husband and I have a 3 year old son. Counseling was helping some. It was helping us learn how to communicate better. It was helping with exercises to calm down, things like that. He was removed from our house on base the first night and we were only allowed to see each other with military 1st SGT present. He was so angry all the time but I could tell he was trying. As soon as he thought I might leave, he seemed almost panic stricken. Before this, he would not speak to me for weeks as a time. If I tried to hug him, he would pull away from me and say things like he didn’t want to be touched right now. So, we went through the counseling, he got out of the military and we now live in Oklahoma. He has made so much progress but he drinks too much. I’ve tried to talk to him about it when he’s sober. I can almost see the switch flip from okay to better watch out mode. He will get aggressive, pick fights with the kids, be mean to the kids (which makes me feel like a rabid dog), he will be fine one minute and tell us the next to “Get out”. He growls like an animal when he gets this way.
Be the woman he knows sitting at home on the couch. This doesn't mean you need to belch in public or walk around in your sweatpants all the time. This just means you don't have to put up a front for the ladies in your child's class or act snotty in front of his friends. You are who he fell in love with, so you should never feel like you have to be someone else. Be respectful and courteous when you are both in public, but don't try to hide who you are. Having that strong sense of self and high levels of self-confidence are what made him attracted to you in the first place.
For some reason your roommate—er, life partner—has been following you around all night, when all you want is to finish up the evening's menial tasks so that you can commune with your true passion (i.e., DVR'd episodes of Game of Thrones), tapping you on the shoulder and asking you inane questions about electric toothbrushes and dry cleaning and RSVPs. Is he trying to be irritating? I'm guessing that no, he is not trying. (It comes naturally! Hey-oh!) Chances are he's hungry for a little attention, and is therefore resorting to the grown-up's version of sleeve-tugging. Give it to him—not only will you be nurturing your relationship, but you'll increase your chances of getting a foot rub while you catch up with the Lannisters.
Hey, ive been married for not even two months now and me and my wife are already seperated due to the temper i have and the possesiveness and jelousy i have. The reason i am possesiveness is that ive seen her talk to her exes all the time and exes to me are a huge red flag, it stopped after we got married and are now expecting a baby, but since then she never would do anything i wanted and i would start to get agitated until one day i blew up. Her mother talked her into making me leave the house and be without communication with her. Everytime i try to communicate with her, she says it makes her sick to even talk to me. I found out secretly that she has been talking to an ex on facebook since we split up and telling him that she doesnt want it to work and if hes coming home on august. I want this to work and i know i need to change, but how do i get her to see that when she doesnt believe me, or even cares to put any effort in it
Well, sometimes is difficult to have certain conversations. However is important to try solve a situation rather than avoid it, feeling unhappy in a relationship is an important matter. Before the actual conversation there is some preparation I suggest to follow and always have worked personally for me. First of all think why you feel unhappy. When you have solved that, think what would you like to get out of the conversation. Do you want to work things out or end the relationship, if you don’t know is alright. Now you should have: firstly, a reason why you feel unhappy. Secondly the impact on you so far which is the fact you feel unhappy and finally an aim, which is what you are aiming to get out of the conversation. All you need now is to be calm and clear with your boyfriend. From the moment when he will have a clear picture of what is going on, it will be easier for both of you.
After reading all this I just had to post my story in a short paragraph , I been with my boyfriend 4 years and half . We had a baby not so long ago he just turned one . And he’s telling me he’s not in love with me anymore that he just wants to be free and explore the world after we had plans of getting married we had almost everything planned out . We had our ups and down but that’s any relationship . And am here just thinking my baby is just 1 year old and I wanted him to grow in a family something that I never had , and I guess he won’t either . He tells me everyday he doesn’t want to try but it’s just so hard I always end up going back to him but he refuses me and it just hurts I feel I need to give me my place but I always end up going to him …..
When you were first married, you probably felt understood, heard, and connected with your husband. You were polite. You didn’t want to hurt him – and he was sensitive to your feelings. But time passes, and the stress of daily life and kids and jobs and money and house and aging parents and health issues take a toll…and you find that you don’t have the time and patience it takes to be polite. This isn’t necessarily a sign your marriage is over – it just means you need to make time and effort to communicate with love and respect.
“I had to put myself first because I was lost in a sea of pain,” says Paula on What to Do When Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Have Time for You. “I could tell my boyfriend didn’t want me anymore and I knew nothing would change. So I set boundaries in our relationship. I should’ve broken up with him but I couldn’t. It was hard enough to do be firm about when he could come over and see me. The only thing I regret was letting my boyfriend walk all over me for as long as he did. It’s too late to undo the pain, but if you’re in an emotionally distant relationship, I hope you find strength to set your limits and stick to them.”
Approach him to ask him what’s up. He may tell you nothing is wrong at first. Don’t push him but instead give him a peck on the cheek, smile, give him a squeeze on the arm and tell him that you are around if he wants to talk about it. Let him also know that if he wants to talk about it that you will try not to get upset if it’s something that he believes you will become upset about.
There are few things like knowing that the person you're with just wants to be with you. When you feel solid and reassured by the level of love and communication in your relationship. There's no worry or stress about getting ghosted or cheating and your only worry about your partner is whether or not they've noticed that you're actively building and expanding your wedding board on Pinterest.
Two things occurred to me while reading your story. One is that you have to remember that your husband is a man, not a little boy. You need to let go of the need to take care of him. He’s not your child, and he will deal with your leaving the best way he knows how. You can’t control how he’ll cope — and it’s not your job to make life as smooth as possible for him! Your job is to make the best decision for you and your marriage. And sometimes the best decisions are the most painful.
You describe a difficult situation. I don't think anyone can CONTROL their emotions but I'm convinced they can INFLUENCE them (by which I mean work to make them more positive—but not by simply deciding to make them more positive). All human beings have executive functions that can, most of the time, mute the effect of negative emotions on behavior (e.g., we can get angry but choose not to yell or hit).
If you really want to keep your boyfriend happy, keep your word. Just as we like men to do what they say, they like us to do so too. Call when you say you will, show up on time, and don’t stand him up. If you blow him off or forget to follow through with things, it will make you look like you don’t care and make you look irresponsible, because all he has to go by is your actions.
I've been married just 3years but I find no meaning in my marriage.everyday I feel regretful that I made this commitment.I hoped for friendship,companionship,love and care but pain is everything there is.my husband and I hv nothing to share.he has a world of his own while I figure out how am gonna have to live with my kids in this.we have a little girl who sees me cry a lot about my unhappiness.Now am expecting and distressed.I hope one day I find a happy life through a good choice.
As we mentioned earlier, women consider that having a partner is the greatest reward for a man. Finally, they care about the house and the children. Unfortunately, men with time, begin to feel less and less cared by their wives. They want women to be their supporter and partner and give something to them. But certain habits are hard to change, so there is a need for sincere conversation and understanding. You want him to keep saying that you are great, but when have you told him the same thing?
Have you thought about individual or couples counseling? Even if your husband refuses to go, it’s a great way for you to figure out what you should do and if you can help him see how serious your marriage issues are right now. Talking to a counselor — even without your husband present — can be a great way to see things clearly and objectively. Which, in turn, can help you decide whether your marriage is over or just going through a rough stage.
Allow your loved one space to be unhappy. People often become unhappy for good reasons, i.e., as a result of a blow or a loss of some kind. After a while, most people most of the time (though, it's important to note, not all the time) find their level of happiness returning to its baseline. Be patient. You often don't need to do anything at all but tolerate their dip in mood. If you're dealing with someone who dips frequently or regularly, learn to recognize the signs. Dialogue with them when they're in a good place to ask how you can best support them when they're in a bad place. Then try out their suggestion. It may work—or it may not. If it doesn't—if they don't know themselves how they should be supported—try other things until you hit on what works best.
No matter how much my husband affirms me and does loving things, I will feel empty if I’m not connected to my Creator. My relationship with God is where I get my sense of self. It’s in His presence that I recognize who I am. When my heart connects with His, I find unconditional love and fulfillment. I recognize that my life here isn’t by chance, but that everything I am and do matters to my Father.
If you've given up fighting, but feel further away than ever, it's a sign that you've reached a crossroads. "If there's a fight and the couple doesn't talk about what happened, or becomes gridlocked in their position and refuses to listen to their partner's perspective, that's not good," says Cole. However, you might still be able to turn it around. "Unresolved conflict can fool us into thinking that our love is lost, when it's actually only buried beneath the ashes of smoldering resentment and anger," says Turndorf. In other words, the love could still be there, but you just can't access it. To get back in touch with those feelings, turn toward your partner emotionally —which creates closeness and connection—rather than ignoring them or responding negatively, which creates distance and disengagement. "Fights can lead to greater intimacy if the couple processes the fight and repairs the relationship," says Cole. It's up to you to decide whether you've got it in you to turn toward your husband and give it one last go, or whether you've maxed out your ability to keep fighting for your relationship.