Sometimes, we offer help in a way we think would feel helpful for us, when really, our partner might need something completely different. For example, offering to give your partner space to process their unhappiness might be the opposite of what they'd like; they may want company. The point here is to ask how they would like to be supported and to do that.
5. Keep an open mind: This goes for a lot of things (seriously, just try the restaurant he wants you to try), but we are specifically talking in the bedroom. Everybody has different tastes, and if you want to keep your love life exciting (visit Babeland for ideas and inspiration), it’s wise to approach sex with a relaxed, non-judgmental attitude. As long as it doesn’t hurt you or throw your moral compass out of whack, adopt an “I’ll try anything once and twice if I like it” attitude. And if he’s into something you just can’t get down with? Try super hard not to let him know you think his kink is weird or gross. Most people have already had enough sexual shame to last them a lifetime (thanks, abstinence-only sex education!).
Approach him to ask him what’s up. He may tell you nothing is wrong at first. Don’t push him but instead give him a peck on the cheek, smile, give him a squeeze on the arm and tell him that you are around if he wants to talk about it. Let him also know that if he wants to talk about it that you will try not to get upset if it’s something that he believes you will become upset about.
A year later, I still wake up crying and enraged. Because I moved to another continent for his (what I thought was ) temporary job, I am far from my community of close friends and my family. I have a few good friends here but not like at home. In talking with other single moms, I have chosen to stay out of the court sytem. I will seek a property settlement first and then in a year (at almost 50 years old), try to make it happen to finally GO HOME , with my daughter. And even then, I know it will not be easy. She will be in her mid-teens by then and I will be bringing her up on my own. But, then it will be up to her father to decide what his priorities are. This is not the life I wanted for me, for her, for any of us. I never, never would have done this to him. NEVER!

My husband also told me that he wasn’t happy in our marriage.  Unfortunately, I took no action and didn’t take this all that seriously.  As a result, we separated and almost divorced.  I wish I had handled it differently because I had a lot of catching up to do.  Luckily, I finally stumbled upon some strategies that worked.  If it helps, you can read the whole story on my blog http://isavedmymarriage.com
its all aboyou how you FEEL with this guy when you are around him. My ex-husband had me laughing all the time, yet he had a way of subtly make me felt “less than” around him: MY jokes were not funny to him at all. Not surprisingly, my marriage ended years later. Not because of the humor thingy of course… But Evan is right on the money here, again: my ex was commanding the spotlight ( in life, our relationship) and this is not how w marriage works.
Well i have a question and need some help. I just left my husband who i was married to for 3 years but all together 6 years. We have one child together, He is a great dad and great to me here is the problem he will not work he has had many jobs in the past but u know something always happens. Never has he once paid for me to eat or something really nice no rent light etc… i was just fed up with it he would get mad if i bought myself something new and did not get him anything. Now i feel like i am all alone just me and my child i take care of myself and have a o.k job but get paid . I pay all my bills myself never getting any help from my husband. I looked and really cannot find someone going through my same situation.
6. Trust him: We know rom-coms taught you that men are incompetent horndogs who turn into drooling cavemen around even mildly attractive women, but please remember to respect your partner’s intelligence by not falling for this shit. Do not hound him about his cute co-worker, neighbor, or friend. Insecurity is a major boner-shrinker, and unwarranted lecturing, snooping, and accusing are sure to get you nowhere. If you have any legitimate concerns about cheating, a respectful and honest conversation is usually the best place to start.

I am 20 years old i had an arranged marriage when i was 19. i’ve been married to my husband for 10 months and never had any contact with him before marriage. the problem is we are living with his parents and i do not get along with them, they have said to me on a numerous of occassions go home. i do everythng for them cook, clean iron etc. they don’t appriciate anything i do.as for my husband he’s always away at university and i hardly get to see him he also works.
and I so badly want my marriage to work, not just for myself and my wife but my kids as well. My wife had a hard childhood. Her dad left when she was 10 and wasn’t involved in a good way until 8 years ago when his dad died and he told her he wanted to “make-up” for all the old wounds. Around the same time my wife went though depression. There were times she couldn’t get off the easy chair in our living room for days. She went to counciling and did the antidepressant thing and her therapist helped her decide she needed to go back to work. She had been a stay at home mom by her own choice for 12 years. She is a well paid professional in the medical field and was able to find a great, high paying job that she really likes right away. Almost as soon as she went back to work, she started spending more and more time there and with her “new friends” she works with. I have tried to be supportive and have left my job early to pick up the kids so she could stay late, go out with her friends, etc. At the same time she stopped having sex with me. We’ve been intimate maybe 5 times in the last 5 years and up until then had what she described as a great sex life. I’ve tried to find out what she wants or needs but she can’t tell me other then “not me”. Last week she told me that she is unhappy and that “part of me wants to stay and work things out, part of me doesn’t”. I asked her to read Mort Fertel’s book and do “Marriage Fittness” with me and she has read the first couple chapters but isn’t really committed. Our house has become quite messy due to her being unwilling to clean or cook dinner and she asked me to help get things more orginized and we have started that. The problem is she hasn’t changed any of her behaviors and comes home and just goes into a shell and finds ways to get me upset. Then she says something like “Well, that attitude just makes me want to read that book and work on things sooo much”! She only talks about her work and her friends from work and when I try to talk about anything else she withdraws and is uninterested. It’s been 8 years of her being withdrawn from me and 5+ without sex or affection. Now that I know she actually is at the point that she wants to end our marriage as much or more then save it, I’m having trouble being patient. She has totally ruled out going to councilling or therapy (it doesn’t work and is a waste of time and money) and while she agreed to “read” Mort’s book she hasn’t agreed to do anything and when I asked her what she thought of the part she has read she said “Well, I guess I can see what he’s talking about…” which isn’t making me think she will do anything but read the book. While for the last 15 + years I was the sole income earner, right now I’m not making any money due to the firm I was with closing after 9 years there. I’m working with a start-up and I hope that I’ll be making just as much or more then I had been and she does and we have savings so money isn’t yet a big problem but she is worried about it and I know she doesn’t like making the money. When I asked her what she needs she has said the biggest thing is she wants to move from our house to a better, bigger one so she probably feels that because I’m not yet making the money I had been that will be delayed but again, (It’s only been about 4 months since I lost my old job) she doesn’t have a reason to doubt I will be back to making good money again soon. I’m starting to feel “Why should I go into debt for 30 years with someone who isn’t going to even try to fix our marriage. There’s more of a chance that all that will happen is I’ll lose everything in a divorce”. I don’t know what to say when I’m told how wonderful I am and how it would be easier if I was an awful husband, father, etc. I feel so damn helpless and I know that sooner rather then later I’m going to hit a point where I can’t take it any more. I really am afraid that the woman who said before we got married “I don’t believe in divorce. When I get married it’s forever and will work to fix any problems to see to it”! is going to leave and destroy my family. I would appriciate any help you can give. Thank you.

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I guess ypu already know the answer. But you just want someone else to give you that little push. Darling, there is a whole world out there for you to explore. So many wonderful experiences are waiting for you. You have no time to be unhappy. If a person is not treating you right, let him go. It might feel difficult at first. But trust me, life is amazing without the toxic people in your life. And if he really cares about you, he will come back. And if he doesn’t come back be happy to be free from such a toxic relationship. Its a win win situation.
You describe a difficult situation. I don't think anyone can CONTROL their emotions but I'm convinced they can INFLUENCE them (by which I mean work to make them more positive—but not by simply deciding to make them more positive). All human beings have executive functions that can, most of the time, mute the effect of negative emotions on behavior (e.g., we can get angry but choose not to yell or hit).
And sweet to me. After living together out of college he didn’t have a job and I did. I helped provide for him . Then he got a job and we both held down the house and bills together. I quit my job and got another one after 2 weeks. Then he lost his job. We have Soo many bills. I am losing interest in him. He has gained a lot of weight, he doesn’t clean (just dishes ). Also when we go out on dates he is yawning and not talking to me. I feel like he is bored with me. He likes to stay in the house all
There comes a point in every man's life when he realizes he is not going to save the world, cure cancer, win an Olympic gold medal, score with the insanely hot supermodel, be an astronaut. We see nothing but a downhill spiral and very little to show for it. Sure, we have a house, a wife, a couple of vehicles, some savings, and we are responsible adults. But, when we were younger we were told about all the things we were going to do. That stuck with us. We did not accomplish any of those things.
In every relationship mistakes happen where one partner is caught being unfaithful, then the relationship is now tested and may even end up ending, the crazy love spell makes sure that the relationship is back on track and the two lovers go back to being happy and in love, its not everyday where you are forgiven for being unfaithful to your partner that’s why if you find yourself in that situation you contact the good Dr. Eziza to help you solve this emotional problem on +2348058176289

I am a 60 year old female who has been married for 27 years. Six years ago I was let go from my job after 18 years of service (I worked with my husband). A year later I became really depressed and physically ill. I was later told that I had Major Depressive disorder and fibromyalgia. It was at this point my marriage troubles started. My husband began coming home from work each night and verbally abusing me to the point that I had considered suicide. Fortunately I got help through a therapist about that but my husband continued to berate me with words like your not sick just lazy, (the list goes on). Tried lots of marriage fixing such as counseling, (he would not go) to exercise, yoga etc. Fast forward to the present. I got on a new medication and following the advice of my therapist started going out with friends more and during one of these outings I got the chance to start working doing promotion work within the music industry. During this work I made new friends and one of whom I became fairly close with advised me to try again with my marriage. Oh my husband gives me such a hard time about my new found job and friends. I now see that what I want out of this prison called my marriage but I am fearful about being alone at my age. What will happen if I get really sick again or just end up being alone all the time, I’m scared and need advice from someone who is not so close to the trees, if you get my drift. Signed Really confused.
Good day everybody my name is Mrs Caroline Gilli am here to share with you my life experience on how a great man called Dr Alexzander saved me and my marriage.I have been Married & Barren for for 5 years i had no child. i have never been pregnant i was a subject of laughter from my Friends & neighbors, i almost lost my marriage because of this issue.i was so confused that i did not know what to do until i came across this great Dr online and i contacted him at once i was scared weather it was going to work because i never believed things like this before, so i decided to give it a try and i did all what Dr Alexzander asked of me and today to my greatest surprise i took in the first time and i gave birth to a bouncing baby boy and now my marriage that was about crashing before is now restored.my husband now love and want me better, Am so happy for everything that have been happening in my life since i met this Dr Alexzander.
I love this.  It’s hitting home for me now and like to hear how important it is to communicate concerns as a way to be there for your significant other.  My boyfriend didn’t leave me, but was unhappy with my unhappiness.  Had I known his feelings earlier,  I would have changed.  All the while I was unhappy,  I didn’t realize it.  Now my boyfriend seems to be in the position I was a few months ago.  While I entertain the thought of leaving him, I’m now reminded by your response that I need to voice my concerns first!
Women like to complain about men’s socks scattered around the house but they also sometimes have annoying or strange habits. We like to occupy the bathroom for 2 hours and chat with our girlfriends as much as possible, fill the wardrobe with unnecessary stuff, eat from our boyfriend’s plate, or keep singing the same song all day long. Loving men, as a rule, endure all this and remain silent or react with humor. If your man is constantly scrutinizing every little thing you do and making negative comments about your behavior, it means that the only feeling he has left is irritation instead of love.
Christine, I think you are mixing apples with oranges on this one.  It is not that the person has a flaw, physical or mental, it is that they are the ones responsible for seeking their own treatment.  I do not think telling someone you love “you need to get help with this because it is destroying us” is abandoning anyone.  It is asking them to take responsibility for their own health and well being.  When we are dealing with adults, we cannot “get them to a doctor”.  We can suggest, we can recommend, we can even beg or plead….but we cannot “make” them do anything. 
I have been struggling in my relationship for seven months. I have been in this relationship for almost three years common law and we have a 1.5 year old daighter. We each have a six year old from previous relationships as well. I know I’m settling. He’s brought major financial problems on this home – thankfully we have nothing joint in our finances so it was all in his name- but then I still have to overcompensate on the bills to make HIS half ends meet. He’s proven to be a pathological liar, after this long he still doesn’t accept my six year old son as his own- even though I have fully bonded with his six year old daughter, so much that I have a friendship with his ex. He goes through cycles of atleast 3 days a month where he won’t talk to me not even to respond in small talk- like I don’t exist and he plays mind games this entire time. He’s ripped me off $4000 and now he’s drug himself so far down he can’t really even cover his bills. I’ve almost left multiple times ( actually he’d be the one leaving cause he can’t afford this home) but keep giving him ” one more chance”. I’m not sure if I’m delusional thinking maybe one day he’ll come to the end of himself and grow up and that things will get better. But I’m finding mySelf feeling more trapped and unhappy. 90% of what has kept me here is my daughter I have with him . What do I do? How do I kick someone out that has nothing? How do I avoid being manipulated into giving him another chance ? How do I protect myself from his vindictiveness after I do end it ? Please, any advice will do. Of course there are so many other details but there isn’t enough time or space.

I’m glad to see how marriage has evolved. It used to be much more transactional — happening principally to foster economic benefits or social standings or to produce children — but nowadays people typically choose to commit themselves legally to each other for far more noble goals. More and more people marry with the intention of experiencing lasting love and companionship.
I’ve been married for 3 years but we have been together for 9 1/2 we meet in high school he has been the only man for me, we do not have children yet because we are still young. Recently we have been fighting more than usual and it’s over dumb things, I have gone out twice recently with my friends which is a girl and my boss ( he is gay and my husband knows he’s married ) but he still gets mad that I’ve gone out we do nothing wrong , we go eat or chill at his house and it’s not just us two alone. I don’t say anything when he wants to go out I even encourage him to do so, so he doesn’t feel like he’s stuck at the house I want him to have fun and I trust him I just wish it was the same for me I’ve never cheated and don’t plan to, I’m 25 he’s about to be 27 like I said young no children I think we should be able to go out with friends without any problems or em my wrong?
Dear laurie,i guess i am on the same page as everyone else,,is it over? Ihave married the man of my dreams,so i thought…we have been married for 18y.together for 20y. we have a beautiful daughter,she is 18.was never easy,we had a long distance relation ship in the beggining,moved to other country,money was always an argument..i always worked full time plus taking care of my daughter and house,but i was never good enough,if i resume my 18y of marriage it all comes down to being blaimed for never being good enough.time passed and nothing changes,he puts me down as i am not a good house wife,not a good mother spends all his money,all this and me working 50h a week,i am not a big spender,but in his eyes thats all i do is spend his money,he killed my love for him,over time,i hate him more than i love him.what keep me is the ilusion of being madly in love with the man i meet 20y ago,i love him deeply still.he become bitter and sniky he hydes from me money,goes behind my back cancels aounts,so i get stuck with no money..everytime he does this things i hate him more,all what matters to him is cleaning and money..i care for my daughter that has been thru a lot and just recently stabelize emotionaly..i dont want to break her heart..what do i do?

and I so badly want my marriage to work, not just for myself and my wife but my kids as well. My wife had a hard childhood. Her dad left when she was 10 and wasn’t involved in a good way until 8 years ago when his dad died and he told her he wanted to “make-up” for all the old wounds. Around the same time my wife went though depression. There were times she couldn’t get off the easy chair in our living room for days. She went to counciling and did the antidepressant thing and her therapist helped her decide she needed to go back to work. She had been a stay at home mom by her own choice for 12 years. She is a well paid professional in the medical field and was able to find a great, high paying job that she really likes right away. Almost as soon as she went back to work, she started spending more and more time there and with her “new friends” she works with. I have tried to be supportive and have left my job early to pick up the kids so she could stay late, go out with her friends, etc. At the same time she stopped having sex with me. We’ve been intimate maybe 5 times in the last 5 years and up until then had what she described as a great sex life. I’ve tried to find out what she wants or needs but she can’t tell me other then “not me”. Last week she told me that she is unhappy and that “part of me wants to stay and work things out, part of me doesn’t”. I asked her to read Mort Fertel’s book and do “Marriage Fittness” with me and she has read the first couple chapters but isn’t really committed. Our house has become quite messy due to her being unwilling to clean or cook dinner and she asked me to help get things more orginized and we have started that. The problem is she hasn’t changed any of her behaviors and comes home and just goes into a shell and finds ways to get me upset. Then she says something like “Well, that attitude just makes me want to read that book and work on things sooo much”! She only talks about her work and her friends from work and when I try to talk about anything else she withdraws and is uninterested. It’s been 8 years of her being withdrawn from me and 5+ without sex or affection. Now that I know she actually is at the point that she wants to end our marriage as much or more then save it, I’m having trouble being patient. She has totally ruled out going to councilling or therapy (it doesn’t work and is a waste of time and money) and while she agreed to “read” Mort’s book she hasn’t agreed to do anything and when I asked her what she thought of the part she has read she said “Well, I guess I can see what he’s talking about…” which isn’t making me think she will do anything but read the book. While for the last 15 + years I was the sole income earner, right now I’m not making any money due to the firm I was with closing after 9 years there. I’m working with a start-up and I hope that I’ll be making just as much or more then I had been and she does and we have savings so money isn’t yet a big problem but she is worried about it and I know she doesn’t like making the money. When I asked her what she needs she has said the biggest thing is she wants to move from our house to a better, bigger one so she probably feels that because I’m not yet making the money I had been that will be delayed but again, (It’s only been about 4 months since I lost my old job) she doesn’t have a reason to doubt I will be back to making good money again soon. I’m starting to feel “Why should I go into debt for 30 years with someone who isn’t going to even try to fix our marriage. There’s more of a chance that all that will happen is I’ll lose everything in a divorce”. I don’t know what to say when I’m told how wonderful I am and how it would be easier if I was an awful husband, father, etc. I feel so damn helpless and I know that sooner rather then later I’m going to hit a point where I can’t take it any more. I really am afraid that the woman who said before we got married “I don’t believe in divorce. When I get married it’s forever and will work to fix any problems to see to it”! is going to leave and destroy my family. I would appriciate any help you can give. Thank you.

My husband and I are happily married 5 years now, with two little ones at home under the age of 3. We make sure to have time for a date night every 2 weeks, one trip a year just the two of us and then tons of family time. We communicate tons, have some fights but always make sure to go to bed happy. I think marriage is worth it, and it has been proven that children in families with parents that stay together are better off than those in broken families. So I think the parents need to do everything and try everything to keep their marriage happy & fun for themselves & their children! I think people are way too selfish in many cases and underrate the value of a solid marriage. Our grandparents were right when they stayed together – and were able to enjoy their grandchildren & old age together as well.

I am having a propbem and just need someone to talk to. My husband and I habe been married for 13 months, were engaged for almost two years, and had been best friends for five. About six months ago, we left city life and moved to the coast where his family resides. I have no family and no friends here, so that in itself has been difficult for me. We have been having a reoccuring problem that has a uniform cause, which is alchohol. We go out on a date night every Thursday, play pool and sing at the local bar, and drink. A couple of months ago, August, if I remember correctly, we went through three weeks when every time we would go out it started great, but ended with my husband telling me how awful I am and throwing me out of the house. The next day he wouldn’t remember any of it. We discovered that the issue was if he mixed beer and liquor, he became an angry drunk, and I was his target. The solution seemed simple enough, stop mixing the two. It worked well enough for us and the drunken arguments stopped.


This sounds just like everyone else, things were good, then changed to bad…He doesn’t cheat on me, or hang out with his friends too much – as a matter of fact he stays right here almost 24 hours a day. We have 3 kids, which is why I haven’t left to date. If we were to split up he would move back near his family which is 8 hours away – a little hard for my kids.
I’m jealous of my husbands happiness. When we met I was powerful, confident, thin, and a single mom of two kiddos. I was trying to get clean at the time and we fell in love so I moved back home and took him with me. We have been clean and married just over 6 years now and in the earlier of those years there was a distrust between us due to secrets he was keeping in regards to communication with other women from his work. I had 2 previous relationships that were very abusive and involved horrible heartbreaking incidents of cheating. My programming is all screwey and i have serious trust issues when it comes to my husband talking to females. He’s 7 years younger then me, wakes up happy and has no issues making friends. He is really smart and is working a job that is constantly building him up and promoting him because they see how great he is. My hope was that we would grow in happiness together as a married couple, but somewhere I fell behind. I struggle to find things to be happy about, I have a job I hate, no real friendships, and I gained weight and am now fat which I have never been. We have lost connection emotionally, physically, and spritually and I can feel that I am holding him back from being happy in life. When you know that you are the problem and see no fix in sight, it might be time to just let him go…..

Remember when you and your husband first starting dating? You were the carefree woman who laughed and flirted? Life's stress can really take a toll on a relationship, and sometimes we forget to laugh. Flirt with your husband. Tell stupid jokes. Reminisce about funny things that happened. Life can't always be fun and games, but let it be sometimes. Keep the humor going between the two of you and keep things funny and fun.
You're in a tough spot. The thing about enabling behavior is that superficially it makes things easier, so people who enable remain attached to doing it. If you decide you shouldn't enable your mom's behavior (and I'm in no position to judge one way or another) it seems to me the key would be becoming confident enough in that decision (out of a genuine and well-considered belief that enabling her behavior isn't in her or your best interests) that you simply—without ever needing to discuss it—stop enabling her behavior. Such a change would of course be met with resistance that you'd need to be prepared for, which is why you must first be absolutely convinced your decision is the right one and then calmly stick to your guns (keeping your own emotions at bay would be key). Good luck.

On the other hand, the expression of love is important just as much. From a big hug to many kisses. The desire to touch another human being is a basic necessity, just as the heat of a squeeze is something that brings us comfort. You can do this experiment: If you see a sad person in the street or your boyfriend is in a sad and unmotivated state, go and give him a big kiss, you will see how his mood changes instantly.
Evan, I’m de-lurking to say this post is BRILLIANT. Thank you a million times over for this! I’ve been feeling sad since dumping a moody guy last month, and this is just what I needed to hear. You’ve helped me feel so much better about my decision. I hear a lot of my male friends complain about dating women who are “downers,” but rarely do I hear my female friends complain about moody men, so I was torturing myself about dumping this guy. I wanted to believe he’d snap out of it, but he didn’t, so… goodbye and good luck to him. Thank you, Evan, for your perspective as someone who has “been there,” and thank you for reminding women that we deserve better.

A lot of single and married women today believe that marriage is a means to an end – that all their problems will magically go away when the love of their life places a ring on their finger and they finally say “I do.” There is also an underlying expectation that the men in our lives will keep us happy at all costs. But despite the cues we get from the media, in fairy tales, and from those we believe are so happy around us, your relationship is not meant to keep you happy. Yes, your man should make you happy, but that is not the sole objective. We should be taking another path to happiness in our relationship – one that is more likely to get us where we need to be. This doesn’t begin with fixing our man, but with fixing our own hearts. Here are six things to do when your man can’t make you happy.

Me and my husband have been together for 12 years and married for 6 we have 2 children we have hit a really rocky patch, he was working 18 hours shifts no intemacy and i had a gambling problem. this week i have caught him cheating he has been leaving and coming back for the last month and in that time he formed a relationship with a local know marriage wrecker she prays on relationships that she knows are going through tough times. i initially threw him out, but i have taken him back but i am struggling with the images, im struggling with all the lies that has been told, and i am struggling with the fact that he is defending her. I really love him and i want to get us through this, but im not sure how to re build our relationship?
Ok, so i am the woman & I cheated! no excuses but I had a rough childhood, oldest & only girl helping a single drug addicted mother raise 3 lil boys! my mom paid me no attention, so i sought it elsewhere & became a teenage mom-like my mom! i have always tried hard to make my mom proud of me-well to no avail & i’m 34 now! well, my husband & i have been together 10 yrs, married for 4yrs & separated for the last 2, since i cheated!
Sometimes, we offer help in a way we think would feel helpful for us, when really, our partner might need something completely different. For example, offering to give your partner space to process their unhappiness might be the opposite of what they'd like; they may want company. The point here is to ask how they would like to be supported and to do that.
Perel felt that it was unrealistic and unfair to try to have one person (your spouse) fulfill all those needs, so it’s okay to have polyamorous lifestyle. Polyamory is where a couple decides to have intimate relationships with other people with the knowledge of everyone involved. The idea behind this is that everyone’s needs get met in an open, honest way, and everyone ends up happy.
Whether it snuck up on you over the course of a few years, or it dawned on you suddenly one night, I have to say — it's great that you noticed. Not everyone picks up on problems in their relationship, or takes the time to assess the situation. Even your partner might not realize they're projecting negative vibes, or that they're unhappy. So consider it a step in the right direction that you've realized something's wrong.

My bf and I have been fighting quite a bit lately. We both are tired of it. But I try and talk to him about our problems so our relationship gets better but he isn’t one to communicate about that. Which only makes it harder to work things out. He then said that he’s not happy with me because all I do is fight with him. Which I do because he never talks about our problems like I said earlier. I then asked why he is with me and he said because he hopes I grow up (as in me not fighting with him) and because he loves me. I just don’t know why he would be with me but not be happy. I then text him this morning telling him that if he’s not happy then break up with me. And then he goes on saying he never said he wasn’t happy.ugh guys can be so confusing.

Further to suggesting some help, we may be called on, in some cases, to shoulder a little more of the load while our beloved gets themselves in order. If this is you, then realise that it’s for a short amount of time (hopefully) and that it’s all in service of the relationship's long-term happiness. And remember: they would do it for you, if the shoe were on the other foot.


Inevitably, there will be bumpy times in your relationship. If it has come to a point that you're not sure where to turn, try your hardest to make things right. This doesn't mean endlessly talk about what you should be doing, do it! Schedule the counseling session. If you truly love your husband and want to make things right, don't always expect him to make the first step.
DJ, thank you for the acknowledgement. I really appreciate it. I’m almost ashamed to admit I wasn’t really hit that hard in the breakup. I relocated across the country when we moved in together, so I got out of touch with most of my old friends over time. But we both worked full-time, we weren’t married and didn’t have kids so there were no real financial issues. I’ve got new outlets for my hobbies, and new friends over time, so I’m really doing fine today. Except for the “emotional connection” part. After a long-distance relationship for over a year before… Read more »
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