He told me during the "talk" that he is afraid to introduce anything new or spontaneous into our reltionship because he can't know how I will react. I might get angry or resent him for offering advice or being better at something than I am. I tried to tell him that he can't assume things like that, and to call me out when my reactio is unwarrented, but he shuts down and then feels guilty for bringing it up to begin with.

As completely freaked out and scared as I was, I immediately began talking to a few close women friends. I opened a bank account in my own name and had all of my pay checks deposited there and I made arrangements for my daughter and I to stay with a friend for a few weeks while I looked for place to live. I live in a city that is one of the most expensive places in the world so was very concerned I would not be able to afford an apartment for my daughter and I, but eventually got something but every year I am confronted with rent increases and increasing utility bills – so, the current sitation is not sustainable. I asked for and got a promotion at work. I applied for government help as a single parent and get a little bit every two weeks.


Unless your husband has given your real reason to not trust him, always give him the benefit of the doubt. Most likely you have been cheated on or hurt in a past relationship, but don't let that baggage follow you into your marriage. Don't snoop in his phone, check his email, or spy on him when he's out with his friends. Let him know that you trust him and he will do all that he can to ensure he does not break your trust.

When your husband comes home from a day at work, do you give him a warm welcome, or do you greet him with a list of things that he didn’t do or that he didn’t do right? You both have every right to feel overwhelmed and tired from life’s stressors, but remember: You’re in a partnership and you should both be lifting each other up. By doing the opposite, you suck the energy out of the relationship and out of the bond between you.


Men CAN BE sexually desirable in and of themselves. Most straight males in most countries still don’t want to put the effort into becoming physically/sexually attractive, though. The majority won’t go the extra mile; the majority don’t even know where to start. They like to look like “clones” in a way. Basically the same style, hair cut, shoes, whatever. Won’t groom properly. Un-charming, hardened demeanor. No sensuality. It’s difficult to desire someone like that, at least passionately and strongly. That’s the reason so many millennial women love gay porn, and younger generations are so attracted to foreign males. Look at… Read more »
If your married and you go and listen to your Husband’s ex’s what is this a sign of??? My marriage is about to end and my wife has let my 3 ex’s into our marriage… She said that she was a woman of GOD but who does this… Do you find this action immature at some point… Then she did bring in baggage from an early marriage etc… We could never talk after she started talking to them… She said it was better to talk with them than me… So I left the house… She has 4 kids that I was taking care of that were not mine… She never looked at this… Each night was about the ex’s etc… I grew tired of this abuse and I felt it was time to move on… Then the looking in my phone… Then asking me why I don’t cheat on her etc… When her ex’s all 3 did cheat on her… Give me your thoughts please of what is wrong with her because she thinks she is perfect and nothing is wrong with her… I am the problem…

I started a post and it posted before I was done, so… Again, I am sorry for all the hurt everyone here is going through, but I wanted to tell my story as well. First, I married a young girl straight out of high school. We were good friends, party buddies with benefits you might say. Anyway… She dropped out of school her junior year, we got married and I joined the army. The marriage was doomed from the beginning. We even fought on our wedding day and probably everyday after that. I came down on levy to go to Germany and soon after I got there, she made it aparent to me that she didn’t want to follow me over there. We had just had a baby boy and now I’m several countries away unable to see my son or mend a marriage. I soon found out that she had quickly shacked up with another guy and got pregnant by him with a little girl while we were still married. I told her I would raise the girl as my own if she would just come to me, but shortly after the birth of the girl, she was pregnant by him again with another boy. I couldn’t take it and she had said she wanted a divorce so I gave it to her. That being said, let’s move to the present. After returning from Desert Storm in Iraq and getting out of the Army, I soon met a beautiful and wonderful young woman. We fell in love and were married within 6 months. She is a wonderful person, very good mother and great Christian. We never had much and have always pretty much lived hand to mouth, but somewhat comfortable. She always seemed so in love with me. We have now been married 20 years and have had a few ups and downs, but for the most always had a great marriage. Since we married, I started developing several different illnesses following Desert Storm and they have really taken a toll on my physical ability to maintain a job and my Dr told me that I no longer had any business working and that I need to focus on my health. I am awaiting disability because of my decline in health. I have always been the bread winner in the family great fully. Both my wife and I are college educated and she has continued to go to college. Our beautiful daughter just graduated last night from high school and is getting ready to go to college. Over the past 2 years, my wife and my daughter have been spending a lot of time behind closed doors in my daughters room laughing and joking the whole evenings through. I’m never invited, my wife rarely talks to me any more unless I bring up a conversation and I have noticed over the past approximately 3 years, she has never initiated sex and when I want to make love, she either always has a head ache or nauseated or just does it to shut me up from trying to be persistent. Before, we always had a great passionate sex life now it seems like its just a chore for her. And also recently she has quit giving me any more than a peck for a kiss. She was always a passionate kisser before. I know she has a busy schedule as a school teacher, cheer leading coach, college student, mother and active church member. She says she loves me in passing, but I feel she no longer shows me that she loves me. There is no longer that twinkle in her eyes when she looks at me, she never flirts with me. There’s never that little pinch on the butt or slow kiss on the back of the neck or any other kind of play at all any more. I don’t think she is having an affair unlike my first wife, but I think maybe she has fallen out of love for me. Though she says she loves me and gets angry when I ask her if she does, I think she “loves” me, but is not “in love” with me. I wouldn’t cheat on her, but I still am a sexual creature and have to have that feeling of being looked at with “sex crazed eyes” or like Prince Charming. I’ve tried doing more things with her that she likes, but when I ask her to do things with me that I like (besides sex) she just says we just down have the same interests. I don’t want a divorce, I want the desire that my wife once had for me to return. I’m not the well built GI Joe boy toy that I used to be when returning from the army and am missing nearly all the beautiful hair that I had when we met, but I am the same person and I think even better. I have tried to change over the years to become more of whom she wanted me to be. I gave up smoking, drinking, cussing, came to know the Lord but it just doesn’t seem to be working she seems more distant now than ever. Is she wanting out or what can I do to return the spice to our marriage ?
After making us spend our savings on him in rehab several times, taking him to school and dropping out (5 in total), going to prison and countless other miseries, us, our family decided to dump my brother and purge him out of our lives. We needed to do that for our own sanity. He started to affect our work, I for one would wake up and cry for hours. It was terrible his addiction to drugs and all. In the end he went to live far far away and after 4 long years of suffering not being able to buy food, live or anything he came and he was reformed. We all thought it was one of his silly apologies to get us to take him back only to go through the same cycle but this time he has changed after 10 years. He is back doing is A levels, the oldest in his class but next year he will go to uni and he has changed. We still do not believe it so we approach cautiously lest we get burnt again!
Are these rules and changes familiar to you? Is his parents’ marriage like this? Did something change in his life short after your wedding? Honestly, have you seen any sign of these trades of his personality before the wedding? If your chemistry is so amazing, what kind of hurt and time is he talking about? What is he talking about :0)? After reconciling not too long ago, what is causing the problem now? The old stuff?

"People do not experience love in the same way, and if you're not speaking your partner's 'love language', that can result in great unhappiness. Dr. Gary Chapman detailed the five different love languages to help couples learn and speak the language of their spouse — those languages are quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation, physical touch, and gift giving. Learning to speak a partners' love language has saved many marriages." —Kim Olver, relationship coach and author of Secrets of Happy Couples


The question of how to make your husband happy obviously isn't an easy one to answer. It's going to differ from person to person. You need to begin by trying to determine what it is that is at the root of his sadness. Obviously talking with him is the route to take but you need to be mindful of how you approach this subject. Simply sitting down with your spouse and asking him point blank why he's sad, isn't the best way. He'll likely tell you that he's fine and won't share anything with you. The reason men do this is quite simple. They don't like emotional confrontations and if part of their discontent is connected to you, they know that you'll react strongly. That's why you need to be more approachable, and understanding when it comes to sharing feelings. Show your husband that you want to be accepting and helpful. When he does share small details about his day with you, don't take offense if they involve you. Listen attentively and then tell him that you're grateful he was so honest and that you want to learn from your mistakes.
Loyalty to your partner is a tricky issue, especially when they show weakness. Humans are not so far removed from the laws of the jungle. The best I can say is to treat others the way you want to be treated. Don’t be a self sacrificing altruist if that is not who you are or who you present yourself to be. That should lessen the guilt. That said, I’d feel depressed if I abandoned someone like that. And later in life, if I were to fall into similiar circumstances, I might  experience an intense insecurity or paranoia about having my partner do that to me. It might add to my moodiness, further exacerbating the situation until the prophecy is self fulfilled. That would be karma transmitting my suffering. We live in a society. We share the consequences of everyone’s actions. I don’t understand it when people say that happiness is an individual responsibility.
Now listen carefully! Take 2 minutes to read the next page and you'll discover a stunning trick which will make your spouse love you for the rest of their lives even if they are this close to walking out the door. There is a set of easy to follow psychological tricks which will save your marriage and get you back to that place you once were - in love, committed and excited about the future - within a few days guaranteed. I strongly urge you to read everything on the next page before it's too late and time runs out- Click Here
Now listen carefully! Take 2 minutes to read the next page and you'll discover a stunning trick which will make your spouse love you for the rest of their lives even if they are this close to walking out the door. There is a set of easy to follow psychological tricks which will save your marriage and get you back to that place you once were - in love, committed and excited about the future - within a few days guaranteed. I strongly urge you to read everything on the next page before it's too late and time runs out- Click Here
3. Have body confidence: Expanding on the last point, body confidence is super important to keep the spark alive in any sexual relationship. People change, and so do bodies. If you’ve gained weight since you first met, or you started getting dark chin hairs, or an emergency appendectomy left you with a weird scar, who cares? We guarantee you that decent, worthwhile dudes are not turned off by this. Shutting down your sex life over a few new stretch marks is sure to be a relationship killer. Don’t let time and gravity stop you from doin’ your thang, girl.
"Wife" and "independent woman " seems to be a contradiction BUT..anyway, one point is good to remember(just my opinion) is that if you're too proud (stephanie) or lazy to do these things, there is a woman somewhere watching and waiting. She do these things for him. She is at his job, church golf resort, gym. she's your best friend or even your relative. I think women have an instinctive way to tell that a man isn't being taken care of at home. Get rid of pride and take care of your man.
Do you know how to stop your husband from having an affair? Simple enough question, isn't it? Well? Do you? How would you love to know the exact time-tested techniques for preventing your husband from cheating on you and save your family finance? You may not believe this, one way your husband wastes money is through adultery and infidelity because such affairs are costly and a major drain pipe.
2. You want a partner who can keep up. Not only does your partner have to appreciate your humor, he has to be able to get the joke. If you have to explain yourself all the time, or there are long silences where he doesn’t see what you’re laughing at, I would think twice about the relationship. This is exactly why I never dated someone from a foreign country; I’m not xenophobic, they just rarely got my New York Jewish sarcastic brand of humor.
Again, alone time is key to a healthy relationship. You both should be able to be alone, leave each other alone, and feel comfortable going solo for awhile. That said, it's not normal if your partner needs to be by themselves 24/7. "If you've noticed more individual activities replacing joint ones, that could be a sign of a partner trying to retreat," Rogers says. "They might need time to think or have decided that they need to build up their own identity and independence outside of the relationship."
When you sit down with your husband to tell him you are unhappy, prepare for a potentially long conversation – you need to share your feelings and you need to hear your husband's perspective. Try to choose a time when you are unlikely to be interrupted by work, family or other obligations. While it's hard to predict how the conversation will go, it's a talk experts say should happen sooner than later.
To counteract this impulse, remember that suffering is necessary for growth (I'm not pointing this out to rationalize suffering, but rather to suggest our focus should be on using it as a catalyst). If we can resist the impulse to treat suffering like a fire that must be extinguished immediately, we can consider with a clear mind how to best respond to the unhappiness of the ones we love. But if instead we give in to our impulse to take over responsibility for someone else's suffering, we may find ourselves cheating them out of an important growth experience. True happiness comes from strength. If we solve every problem for the ones we love, how will they ever learn to solve problems themselves?
i am also going through the same, the man I have been with for 7 years going to 8 just left me and we just had a baby. he treats me so bad to an extent that I just see it as normal. when he is happy I should be happy but when he is unhappy he also wants me to be happy, he swears at me today and the next day he tells me he loves me. I know they say you should fight for what you believe in and fight 4 your man but after he just decided to leave me without no reason , I have just decided to stop believing and just focus on my own happiness, you can love someone so bad but sometimes love is not enough when it makes you miserable, love is supposed to make you happy.
Women, who are in the relationship, often think that a man must always try and take care of her and whatever she does, it should be the sheer happiness for him. She can dramatize and cry, and he should abstain and endure all. Maybe some people forget that just being in a relationship means reciprocity, compromise, and care. What's more, men, just like women, can also have worse times or bad humor. In addition, most men have a lot of responsibilities, which can also overwhelm them and affect their behavior.

My husband is not interested in having sex with me anymore. When there is a fight, he always says” Isn’t it enoough for me to bear you and bear your big mouth” He repeats this comment a lot. He is not interested in going out with me and children as we used to be in the past. I take the children all by myself. He comes from work and he is on facebook till very late at night. when I approach him for intimate relationship, sometimes he says I am tired. I am the one who always approach him In my country it is not easy to ask for a divorce. I have kids. He spends money on them. I don’t think I am going to have another relationship with anybody. How am I going to save this marriage? He has changed.


hi, quick and to the point. My wife is 27 and I am 42. She likes to go out and party with her model friends but does not really want me there with her. I dont have many friends outside of her and her friends, so i feel left out and alienated. I have been out with her recently and she gives me the cold ahoulder and laughs and looks at guys with her friends in front of me which made me really angry one night. She was angry back saying she did nothing wrong and that I was to possessive and kept her in “jail” When I say we should split she says “fine…if that is what you want lets do it” which is not what I want to hear. I have A lot of money more than 5,000,000 in assets but absolutely no self confidence because she is a model type and I am a little overweight. I told her I would need her to rebuild my confidence up by being really nice then I would be confident enough to let her go out without me, It is a mess because we have a 4 year old boy. Should I leave? or make her leave? I have nannys and housekeepers in my employ already.
"Spouses usually have a threshold for how much time they can tolerate away from their partner so when a husband starts spending more and more time and energy on work, they're devoting less time and energy to their marriage," she said. "Several of the unhappy husbands I've worked with spent increasing amounts of time on their career, networking or generally pursuing interests outside of their marriage and away from their family life."

I will most certainly survive this. In retrospect, I am glad I owned up to my “affair” and let everything be known. On occasions, I might have regreted, but after her seeing her behavior after being cuaght, I am confident I did not make a mistake. Simply becuase there is nothing better than clear conciousness, knowing I did all that I could. Comparing that with her ridicoulus explanations for posting on numerous sites, constantly lying, pretending nothing happened. And, yes, there was not a single “sorry” from her in all this.
Can't remember your last date night? If you're not planning any important or special events together on top of not spending time together in general, that's not good news for your relationship, says Greer. Make an effort to get a couple outings on the schedule — maybe a movie night or a dinner at your favorite spot — and see if you can rekindle the flame. Marriages take work, and putting in the effort on things that bond you as a couple is part of that.
×