my husband when he came out of his cave came out like a grizzly bear willing to tear heads off when he was not allowed to have his way over time off , job choice and shift choice by seniority I have seen him break a mans back against a light pole because he was hounding my husband to work a fourth eight hour shift inhis place and let the man take us to a concert, I have seen my husband talking to four men about pulling his bid and when they said he could either go in under his own power and remove his bid or they would carry him in and the result would be the same he would remove his bid, My husbands answer was to grin and tell them to take whoever was whose wife , he could not tell the relationship or the way it worked with gay men and they could get off his porch, off his property and out of his face or he would kill them where they stood, then when the county commissioners son took the bait and the first swing it gave my husband all the rea, My husband paced around for onewson he needed to leave all four in bad condition heading for a trauma care to be placed in a critical care unit.
My husband suggested that I start spending more time alone with God. So I did. At first, I found it hard to pray. I found that I lost focus easily and my thoughts wandered. But after a while I started just talking out loud to keep myself awake. I started journaling my thoughts and prayers, and reading Bible stories in the Gospels. And I found myself in the story of Mary and Martha. I realized that I was Martha, scurrying around, trying to make sure things were perfect for everyone else, when God really just wanted me to focus on being Mary.
This is to “Am I Being Unrealistic?” I think you have been very strong. I don’t think you have to stay in this relationship and I don’t know how healthy it is for the children. As far as God is concerned, I know he doesn’t want us to be in a relationship where one is not being faithful. If it was me, I’d want out unless my spouse was willing to seek counseling. But that is me, I look at everything the way I think God would see it. I hope you can find peace. It sounds like your lifestyle is quite nice yet costing you a lot in more than one way. I wish you the best.
Men can be sometimes so hard to decode and it can be a problem because we all want to make our man happy. That is why I honestly recommend this amazing book by James Bauer that literally changed my life. Believe me, after reading this you will both get so much closer and, hopefully, will end up tying the knot. That is what happened to me and my man!
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This is to “Am I Being Unrealistic?” I think you have been very strong. I don’t think you have to stay in this relationship and I don’t know how healthy it is for the children. As far as God is concerned, I know he doesn’t want us to be in a relationship where one is not being faithful. If it was me, I’d want out unless my spouse was willing to seek counseling. But that is me, I look at everything the way I think God would see it. I hope you can find peace. It sounds like your lifestyle is quite nice yet costing you a lot in more than one way. I wish you the best.
The other problem I'm currently having is trying to get my husband to explore what exactly is making him unhappy. I asked him to try to write things down or email them to me when they come to mind so that we can work on them. He replied that he told me all of that when he told me he was unhappy in the first place. I was listening to him then, but I was also in a little bit of shock, and can't remember everything he said. any suggestions on how to oppen him up to actively working out why he is unhappy?
Don’t fall into the trap of believing you only have two options: staying married and staying unhappy, or getting a divorce and getting happy again. If you’re feeling scared and sad because of these warning signs your marriage is over, then perhaps you’re ready to go beyond that false choice (“Do I divorce so that I can find happiness again, or do I keep the family together and remain unhappy?”).
I’m going to take the assumption that you’re already in a relationship with this man… At which I ask you this: If you have to ask if happiness is possible, haven’t you already answered your own question? I’m not going to say definitively whether or not your happiness is possible with this person, but you have to ask yourself the question of whether or not you’re currently happy. If the answer is no… well… you should probably consider ending things sooner rather than later. You shouldn’t have to change who you are in order to find your happiness. Additionally, who you're with shouldn’t be the source of your happiness, but rather an amplification of it. In order to be truly happy, you must first be happy on your own. Your significant other is NOT a person to fill the void in your life… they’re a person to share your WHOLE life with.
Thank you for the post. Husband of 17 yrs td me two days ago he was not happy with anything, ever. Told me today he is moving out in two days to “work on himself”. He told our 15 yr old that he had been thinking about it for a long time. I feel worthless and unloved. I feel like this is the end. He was almost giddy while telling me about the place he is moving(way nicer than our place). I’m not perfect but I always fought for our marriage – through his alcoholism, his “emotional” infidelity, his constant changing jobs, his depression and mood swings. I always fought for us. Now I feel like a fool and wonder when “us” stopped for him. I feel blindsided!
What does your post have to do with having a moody bf? Do you have a bf? I don’t think so because  I sense a veiled attempt to relay that you think the guy you mention should dump his gf for you. I wonder what would happen if he did? Maybe you’d be subject to whatever treatment she’s getting, then you’d be sorry. Or at least discover the empathy for gf that you’re lacking now.
Then have a conversation with them (use an appropriate method for their communication style to improve your rate of successfully achieving good reach/affect) stating what you believe their needs to be and how you attempt to meet those and that you'd appreciate their attempts to clarify their needs so that you can do a better job, and that in light of your requests you would to clarify what you really want out of this relationship. Proceed to detail what you want. Try to be really practical with examples rather than vague ideas.
Now listen carefully! Take 2 minutes to read the next page and you'll discover a stunning trick which will make your spouse love you for the rest of their lives even if they are this close to walking out the door. There is a set of easy to follow psychological tricks which will save your marriage and get you back to that place you once were - in love, committed and excited about the future - within a few days guaranteed. I strongly urge you to read everything on the next page before it's too late and time runs out- Click Here

Even if your boyfriend sometimes talks badly about his mother, it doesn’t give you the right to say anything bad about her. If you don’t want to insult him, you’ll make sure you don’t cross the line with this. Instinctive feelings come up when anyone insults our mothers, and it’s not worth ruining a relationship just by saying a few cheap lines about her. Keep those feelings to yourself and you’ll keep him happy.
Mark, I feel that you have written here with the best of intentions, but you are wasting your energy on talking about married couples and their subsequent divorce, rather than people who are not yet married. Hopefully the married couples can work things out. Hopefully the divorce doesn't suck too much life out of the family. We all get that. You must use your academic background to start promoting an end to the practice of marriage for non religious people, who have not yet made the mistake of marrying. It is a shame that with all of your knowledge you have not yet begun to actively promote an end to marriage for the non religious. It is a useless and too often destructive institution that must be ended as soon as possible. It leaves good, hard working men at the mercy of corrupt family court systems and the she-devils who have come to dominate the feminine side of our culture. They lose everything. There is no greater pain than for a parent to lose a child, and this is what is happening to men all over the country. Get your priorities straight as soon as possible. Ending marriage for the non religious must become your focus.
Depending on if you're a stay-at-home mom or work yourself is all relative. If you stay home with the kids during the day, make sure your home is inviting when you're husband is almost home. Pick up the little things. Of course, it can't always be perfect, but try to make home as relaxing as possible. Don't pass the kids off immediately when he walks in the door. Let him unwind. If you work as well, share responsibilities when you get home, or do the things you know he dreads the most.
I’ve been married for 3 years but we have been together for 9 1/2 we meet in high school he has been the only man for me, we do not have children yet because we are still young. Recently we have been fighting more than usual and it’s over dumb things, I have gone out twice recently with my friends which is a girl and my boss ( he is gay and my husband knows he’s married ) but he still gets mad that I’ve gone out we do nothing wrong , we go eat or chill at his house and it’s not just us two alone. I don’t say anything when he wants to go out I even encourage him to do so, so he doesn’t feel like he’s stuck at the house I want him to have fun and I trust him I just wish it was the same for me I’ve never cheated and don’t plan to, I’m 25 he’s about to be 27 like I said young no children I think we should be able to go out with friends without any problems or em my wrong?
Second, you might consider leaving our husband on a trial basis. Move out, give yourself and him a chance to figure out if your marriage is over. The time and distance might do you both good. Sometimes it’s difficutl to see what big life decision we should make when were in the thick of it all…but stepping out of our marriages through a separation can bring clarity and objectivity. And, that clarity can help you know if it’s time to end your relationship.
Hi everyone I know you all have been looking for a certified hacker that works legit and not scammer welll meet cyberspyne@gmail .com. For all your email hacks find out the password of any site he / she (your partner) is on via the email address just do forget password and you have access you could use this files for your divorce also don't let that cheat get away contact cyberspyne@gmail .com. Remember he would show you proof before you make payments this is real see readers comment below :
I am 20 years old i had an arranged marriage when i was 19. i’ve been married to my husband for 10 months and never had any contact with him before marriage. the problem is we are living with his parents and i do not get along with them, they have said to me on a numerous of occassions go home. i do everythng for them cook, clean iron etc. they don’t appriciate anything i do.as for my husband he’s always away at university and i hardly get to see him he also works.

Marriage and kids is just not something my husband can deal with... He would rather come home and be left alone literally.. When I leave the house and dont see kids for few hours i miss them dearly and come home and kiss them he leaves and when he gets home never once comes to his family he wants privacy.. We dont talk he never has done anything special for me since we got married.He has even forgotten my birthday before.. Sex? What sex? That hasnt existed for years sometimes i feel lonely but remind myself that i should be grateful for my kids they are more than i could ever ask for is it selfish to want someone who tells u i love you or just brings u a birthday card for your birthday??I dont even expect it anymore I just focuas on my kids being happy and having everything they want and need.. I know that we both are not happy and because of financial situation it is difficult to walk away. I stay silent keep the peace but when everybody is asleep the tears fall down i feel sad we dont even sleep in the same bed..
While conflict is inevitable in any relationship, it doesn't mean that if you or your spouse is currently unhappy, the marriage is doomed. "If someone is unhappy, it is a great wake up call and a chance to create a new marriage by investigating the old," explained Hope. "If you learn to embrace pain and conflict as a spiritual push for greater potential, then you won't freak out in times of madness and conflict."
So, my question is, where does that leave my daughter and me? I want more than anything for him to be happy and for us to be a happy family, but I worry about the fragility of my daughter's happiness if she is around a perpetually unhappy father. He has told me that she is calms him down...What is my best coarse of action to protect my daughter from unhappiness?
HELLO MY NAME IS JANE I AM 44 YEARS OLD HAVE TWO BEAUTIFUL KIDS. MY HUSBAND AN I MARRIED FOR 19 YEARS. HE IS A GREAT FATHER AND HUSBAND. BUT WHAT HURT ME THE MOST IS HIS LIE , ALWAYS HAVE EXCUSE WENT I CAUGHT HIM IN A LIE.IF YOU ASK ME HOW MUCH I TRUST HIM ,I WOULD SAY ONLY 20 PERCENT.WHAT I FEEL INSIDE MY HEART IS I LOVE HIM AND DON’T TRUST HIM SOUND STUPID RIGHT. EVERY SINCE HE LOST HIS DAD HE DO THE DUMB THINGS, HE BLAME HIMSELF BECAUSE HE WAS NOT AROUND . I SAID TO HIM YOU ARE NOT JUST HURTING YOURSELF YOU ARE HURTING ME AND THE KIDS. HE OWE SO MUCH MONEY WHICH WE ARE PAYING OFF LITTLE BY LITTLE. WE HAS A TALK YESTERDAY AND I SAID TO HIM I FEEL BETTER IF YOU DON’T LIE TO ME AN TALK OUT THE PROBLEM WITH ME . I SAID NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY BUT YESTERDAY I COULD NOT SLEEP JUST WONDER WHAT I SHOULD DO?
Josie, I feel the same exact way. My boyfriend who I trusted the most in the world completely shattered all of my dreams. Everyone thought we would be together forever. Our friends always jokingly fought over who would be best man at our wedding. His family became mine, and mine became his His dad would always say to us “don’t let this love go, it’s the real deal.” His mom would introduce me as her daughter-in-law. We discussed marriage, and rings, and where would build our life together. In august he went to a wedding for a friend and called me after and said “I cant wait to marry you.” We’ve talked about marriage, family, adventures, everything together. For years we built our life and created shared dreams. And like a fool I believed him. Not even 3 weeks after that wedding he tells me that he is having doubts, needs space, doesn’t think we’re going to make it. He pulled the rug right out from underneath me. It’s been nearly 3 months and everyday I still sob. I keep asking myself how could this happen. I found out that he slept with one of his best girl friends, and I don’t think he’s ever coming back to me. I’m so devastated. I don’t know how to let go or move on — and I don’t want to. I still want to be with him, marry him, have the life we dreamed of having together. I am still so in love with him and still feel so connected to him. I don’t want to be a distant memory in his mind. Everyone keeps telling me that he saved me a world of pain later in life by showing me who he truly is now as opposed to when we’re married with kids and winds up walking away. They say that I’ll find someone that is so much better than him. But I don’t want that. I want him. I want my boyfriend back. I want him to chose me, and love me. And there’s nothing I can do to make that happen. It’s so devastating.
But when I finally began to focus on me (the one person whose thoughts/actions/behavior I do have control over) I realized what a good therapist can do: help me clarify my own thoughts. Recognize my own cognitive distortions. Understand my own emotions. Modify my own behavior.....well -- it's been far harder than I ever thought, but it's also been far more beneficial - in more ways - than I ever imagined.
I am having a propbem and just need someone to talk to. My husband and I habe been married for 13 months, were engaged for almost two years, and had been best friends for five. About six months ago, we left city life and moved to the coast where his family resides. I have no family and no friends here, so that in itself has been difficult for me. We have been having a reoccuring problem that has a uniform cause, which is alchohol. We go out on a date night every Thursday, play pool and sing at the local bar, and drink. A couple of months ago, August, if I remember correctly, we went through three weeks when every time we would go out it started great, but ended with my husband telling me how awful I am and throwing me out of the house. The next day he wouldn’t remember any of it. We discovered that the issue was if he mixed beer and liquor, he became an angry drunk, and I was his target. The solution seemed simple enough, stop mixing the two. It worked well enough for us and the drunken arguments stopped.
My husband and I have been together since we were 17. Things haven’t always been good. We have had a lot of challenges in life. We were teen parents and then got pregnant again with twins and lost one. My husband has been unfaithful since we got together 6 years ago. It isn’t a one time occurance. He has cheated on me 7 times in the last 6 years. We got married in 2011 and he has cheated on me twice since then with the same girl. After the first time he said he realized what he wanted and that he knew nothing was worth losing what he had. But, he cheated on me again with her. We were very sexually active until i found out the first time, then we just started having sex again when i found out about the second time. I am very confused about everything. He says he wants to be here, and that i am all he wants and he will prove himself to me. But, things have changed drastically. When we first decided to work things out he was sweet, always wanted to be close kissing me and wanting to please me and telling me constantly that he will prove himself. Now, he doesn’t tell me that this is where he wants to be or show me that he is happy. We recently celebrated our anniversary and i got him a card and told him how much i appreciate him and that i am glad he is my husband. He on the other had got me nothing and didn’t act like it was anything special. I have asked him to go to counseling but he tells me that he refuses to and if thats what it takes to fix our marriage then he is leaving. I have already told him that if he cheats again it’s over. I don’t know what to think about our marriage.
You aren’t able to look at things the way he is looking at them and he can’t look at things your way. So you two need to sit down at a peaceful place (so make sure you don’t choose a bar or club, meet in a restaurant or park) and try to first understand how he feels about various things. Once he opens up, you can explain him how you feel about the things which are bothering you at the moment.
Laurie, I have been marriage of 27 years. We have no children. My husband is older than me and is looking at retirement in approximately three years. I am not even close to thinking of same. We have a home in the country, he is always asking me to move from the city and find a new job in the country. We have a small place in the city. I have had my job for 25 years and am not wanting to leave my job; I love my job. My husband is extremely upset with me regarding this. I told him that IF I moved to the country leaving my secure job and he got hit by a bus, I would sell our country home and move back to the city. Of course if this happens I would lose my secure job and start at the bottom. In the country there are virtually no jobs aside from Tim Hortons or McDonalds to work at. This does not make sense to me. I have fifteen years until my retirement. This has been an ongoing argument/disagreement for too many years to count. We love each other but I am really reaching my ceiling in this regard and for that matter so is he. Any suggestions?

My husband is the quiet reserved type – one of the things that initially attracted me to him almost 19 years ago. however, looking back now he has always remained detached from me throughout our marriage – we have a wonderful family of 5 children and for the past four years have become so distant from each other that we dont even talk. There is no arguing, so the kids dont see verbal violence, but they are not silly – they know there is a cold war raging in our home.
I have just asked my husband to move out. I yelled at him. I felt so mad lately, I just feel like no matter what he does, it just makes me mad. He can cook, clean, but he does them not the way I would do it. That sounds so petty. He does it until I get upset about something. Then he makes a halfhearted attempt. But I feel that if he doesn’t work, then he should be willing to do take care of the house. He hasn’t worked in 11 years. I have been the only one working. Before I use to do everything. I would cook, clean, go to work, everything. Lately I’m just so tired. I want him to go out and find a job and help in creating this home. I know he can do it, he just won’t do anything. I think part of that makes me so mad and I blow up over it for stupid little things. I’m home by myself now. And I feel so lonely. But I have to put up with it, because I was the one that told him to get out. I just have so much resentement. I’m hurt and I’m scared to be along. But I’m not going to ask him to come back. I am hoping that he would wake up and decide that he wants to go out and get a job. But I’m scared that I made a mess that he would never come back to me. At the same time, I feel I put us in that situation, by me doing everything at the beginning. He got use to it. All I know is that I am lonely and I miss him but not going to reach out.
If you two couldn't stop talking about the future, it's worth noting a sudden silence. "If your partner avoids any discussions about the future and plans you both may have made, this is a sign that they may not be happy in the relationship," says psychic and spiritual counselor Davida Rappaport. "Unless they are willing to discuss future plans, this may mean their future plans may not include you." And that's obviously something you need to know.

And the tendency to pull down a woman with a voice immediately she opines is the only thing that can be expected from a quintessial north indian . And these are times when I have to praise Marx , especially his conception of " economic determinism " , which tends to exalt economically remunerative activities as the only worthwhile activities to be taken into consideration , rest other activities being not so important , if calling them not important at all sounds too politically incorrect . Since men predominantly indulge , or rather made to indulge as a compulsion , in such activities hence it automatically fans the causalistic probability that men are more superior than women . Thanks to the radical feminists and their " personal is political " chant , which did a great job in pinpointing how women toil hard to sustain the entire system . God has made men and women , or rather humankind , to complement each other , and fulfill each other's lives , not to lay a claim of superiority or inferiority over each other on the basis of what one does . When posts highlighting the areas how women are victimised are broadcasted , I see enough butt-hurt men commenting shits , when you'll are responsible for this entire system . Why can't then she as a woman voice her opinion with reference to a so called menist post !


My boyfriend told me is isn't happy, that things aren't the same between us. He says I'm not fun anymore and that I'm more serious now and I don't hold on a conversation with him like I use to. I'm going through some things, I lost my job things at home aren't good. I don't know what to do, he says he wants to me with me and he loves me and is in love with me. Should I give him space. I cant imagine losing him, he means everything to me . I want to change, I don't want to lose him and what we .

We’ve talked about this when he is okay again. I’ve told him that he is unpredictable when he is that way. I’ve told him I can not and will not live this way and neither will the kids. Once he gets the whatever it is out of his system, he’s right as rain. He acts like nothing ever happened. I feel like he has been trying to do better, but now there are other issues.


On the other hand, the expression of love is important just as much. From a big hug to many kisses. The desire to touch another human being is a basic necessity, just as the heat of a squeeze is something that brings us comfort. You can do this experiment: If you see a sad person in the street or your boyfriend is in a sad and unmotivated state, go and give him a big kiss, you will see how his mood changes instantly.
If you feel your man might be growing unhappy in your relationship, I suggest you sit down and talk to him. Lay it out on the table and tell him, to be honest about how he really feels. At the end of the day, you could be worried about nothing. However, a sudden change in behavior is rarely ever a good sign in a relationship. So you have every right in the world to wonder what’s really going on.
What about a spouse who suffers from depression and refuses to get the help he needs. A father of 3 young children who is saying hurtful things to his 4 year old son? He jumped out of our van with the kids inside because he didn’t want to have a discussion. He was on meds for 6 weeks in winter of 2010 and went off, saying the doc said to (she’s my doc too and we have spoken and she recommends meds for a year) I’ve given him a year to try to go on his own terms but with attacking our son verbally that has challenges from a premature birth I refuse to watch him destroy our childrens lives because of his unwillingness to get the help he needs. His parents are concerned about him as well. I’ve just ordered some self help books recommended by a psychologist friend. I have definately fallen out of love with him. This has been going on for 4 years, seems he sort of lost his mind when I became pregnant with twins. Any suggestions??? My doctor said often the non-depressed spouse has to leave or ask the spouse to leave before they will finally get help but often they still won’t get the help they need.
alot of things have happend between us. He wanted a threesome i did it for him to make our marriage more exciting, i slept with another guy because he wanted me too, and in the end he went and told everybody i was messing around and did not tell them the truth why i did it. He beat me up so bad when friends of our asked if my husband will impreganate them, as the male friend could not have kids and they bady wanted children, we agreed then my husband and “girl friend” said on one condition that her husband and i have to sleep together that aswell then we cant hold anuthing against each other. after all said and done we did, only to find out they said they could not go through it. i was beaten black and blue my eyes were beaten shut! he punished me and i had to have sex with him for his forgiveness.

We’ve talked about this when he is okay again. I’ve told him that he is unpredictable when he is that way. I’ve told him I can not and will not live this way and neither will the kids. Once he gets the whatever it is out of his system, he’s right as rain. He acts like nothing ever happened. I feel like he has been trying to do better, but now there are other issues.

Im so confused. After 26 years of marriage I feel Im done! We have been through so much and Im not a saint. But Im tried of carrying all the responsibility and burdens of our life. He is medically disabled and not capable fo doing somethings but he uses it as an excuse to do hardly NOTHING!! I do all cleaning, planning, pay of the bills and making sure everything to done. Not to mention a have a full time job and a wonderful grandbaby! I have come to realize that Im doing anything very well and so frustrated with him and self destruction. His depression is deep partially because of disabilities. I have lost both of my parents because of self destruction. I cant watch another love one lose or take their life. so lost…..

Last night we went out and really didn’t drink much at all. I was clear and sober through the entire night, and I thought he was too. We went to a couple of bars, had one drink at each, and moved on. When we got to the last one, my husband decided that we should have a shot of something, but I am not sure what it was, I was busy loading the jutebox with Christmas music. After the shot, I got a mild buzz, so I figured he did too. We left the bar and walked toward home. On the way home, it happened again. He started screaming at me about something having to do with my son and I walked away. I had no interest in another fight. He yelled at me to get out of his house and that I was not taking my son. I yelled back at him not to worry, I would and as he has no rights to my child, I would be taking him with me. My son, by the way, was at hhis grandmothers house, where he goes every Thursday and every other weekend for visitation with his grandparents and his father. My husband ran up behind me, grabbed me by my hair, and dragged me about a half a block back, telling me that I was not going back to the house, I was not welcome. He did this twice. Being that I was now in pain, I screamed for help both times, to which he replied that there was noone to help me. I called his sister, whose house it is that we lived at. By this point I was hysterical. When he realized who I called, he cussed at me and stormed off toward the house. I started walking the other direction, with the idea in my head that I would walk the 15 miles it was to my son’s grandmother’s house and sleep in the boat she has on the lawn. My sister-in-law came and picked me up, taking me back to her house. She told me to go to bed and lock the door, he would sleep on the couch. Now it is morning, he is alseep on the couch, and I am still angry that he had the nerve to threaten my relationship with my child. I am also a little scared, he had never put his hands on me before. I don’t know what to do. Any help would be appreciated.
I like this inspirational article! My husband of almost 12 years of marriage, is has been having an affair for 3 years. I am devastated and hurting so bad. My husband told me that he is so unhappy and doesn’t like himself, life and me. Out of respect of my marriage and my promise to God, I stuck by my husband despite his constant lying, arrogance, rages, jealousy of me, meanness, convenient part time dad, disrespecting me to the point that his talk and actions are considered emotional and mental abuse. I know I did the best I could in our marriage! I do realize that my husband has to own his issues and they are not mind. God will get me through this, however I am hurting so bad!!
Hi, we are just the same but for me we don’t have a baby and I think he doesn’t want to have a baby with me😭😭, we’re married for almost 2 months and my husband told me that he never feel the satisfaction during our sex, i was so sad when he told me that it broke my heart so bad, then I ask him if what can I do to make him satisfy he just told me to pray for him, I’m so depressed and sad when he told me that😭😭
Sometimes we love those people who don’t love us back and as devastating as that is, all we can do is move on. I was in love with a guy for almost 6 years and I went through a lot of ups and downs. Out of the blue he basically told me he didn’t love me anymore and this is where our chapter ends. After 6 years, that’s all I got. I grappled with the thought for weeks and then I just accepted that this person no longer loved me. Regardless of how much love I poured into it, they didn’t even love me back or care. I was devastated, this happened months ago and I’m still devastated ya know but time heals everything. I know I gave it my all and that person decided that it wasn’t good enough for them. What do you do? You gotta pick up the pieces of your broken heart, take care of yourself, and move on. It’s not the end of the world, it just feels like it right now because your heart is broken. From one broken-hearted girl to the other, we are strong beautiful women and we will get through it. It was a setback but it’s not over for us. GOD bless you and I pray for peace, joy, and true love for you and anyone else suffering from an earth shattering heartbreak.
My wife and I argue about parents and past rubbish. We have had physical fights where I’ve pushed her or grabbed her our communication is zero, she is always on the edge unapproachable and very controlling . I try to help as much as i can and buy her personal gifts to try and make her happy but most of the time i dont even get a thankyou or even a kiss or a smile She has been married before (no children) and keeps in contact with the ex husband aswell as various male ex work associates via sms if I asked to see the SMS she tells me to leave and starts an argument but if I mention an ex she hits the roof , if I talked to other woman or had woman friends she’d hit the roof . I love my son and wife and don’t know what to do I am no angel in all of this but I feel the amount of energy I put in to her I get nothing back until I resent her selfishness and her excuse is always the past or she didnt ask for the gift, shes tired or feels sick and complains that she looks after our son and that all the problems are my fault and a result of the way I talk to her or treated her in the past . She actually put me on to this site so I posted this in hope of some advice. I love my wife but sometimes I look at her and just see a controlling b***h that is so hard to get along with someone where everything is a problem or an issue. Happy to talk about herself all day long but never interested in me. Everything is about what she wants or thinks is right my point of view is worthless or pushed aside and criticized
June 23, 2012 at 9:32 pm I know how you feel. I have been married almost 28yrs to my highschool sweatheart and just yesterday came to the end of my rope and told him to move out. He has changed so much over the past few months that i just could take anymore. Our daughter (27 and 19) and i have begged him to get help but he just won’t. He has lost almost 50 pounds (not in a healthy way), is buying hipster clothes, walks around in a daze and goes from jekyl to hyde in a flash. We can’t decide if he is having severe depression with mania or simply a midlife crisis. I’ve tried talking to him and it’s always the same “I don’t know” answer for everything. He does say he still loves me and is still in love with me but we don’t communicate at all. I told him I feel like I am married with a husband but am all alone and he said “but i’m here all the time”. Well his body is but he’s not and i told him so and again just silence with the hands in the air. He no longer states how miserable he is only that he doesn’t know anything (what he’s doing, what he wants, etc). So after months of trying and crying I’ve decided it’s up to him. One of our cat’s just died, my 80yr old mother has probable cancer again and I struggle with bipolar and diabetes (insulin pump) myself. Needless to say I have enough on my plate and I can honestly say I tried! During a six week therapy course we were told about co-dependent relationships. This may or may not apply, but you don’t go down on a sinking ship. Sometimes, In my case (since I see a therapist and take meds) it was a matter of saying to my husband “I’m riding the train to wellness, your welcome to come along, if not, have a nice life”.

I am hoping that by typing out my woes I will be able to come to a decision on what I should do. In my relationship of 5 1/2 years when it is good it is very very good but when it goes bad it is awful. Currently we do not live together as I have had to move to another town to support youngest sons education. Organising to do this was fraught with difficulty. Lots of sulking and accusations of you don’t love me etc. In the end I just went ahead and did it. My husband is not my son’s father. After I told him that he was an abusive man and I was not going to put up with it any longer he went and got some counselling. It seem to help. Things have been good, not ideal but good until this weekend. We had an argument and one of the things he said to me “when it comes to the important thnings we just can’t communicate about it”. He also said that “you have a really long memory and that he has no doubt that what we were arguing about will come back to haunt him”. The thing is that what we were arguing about I agreed with the decision that had to be made. That was the Friday night. Saturday night I ring him up and after the usual pleasantries he launched into a tirade and said that he was going to this, this and this. He then said that he guessed that there wasn’t much else to talk about and hung up. I was stunned and realised that things haven’t really changed at all. The only difference being that because we have been separated and because we haven’t been living together it has lessened the impact of negative behaviour. Now I know logically I should ring him back and say that I understand that the decision needed to be made and i am not disagreeing with him but I don’t like the way he went about it. This decision is extremly difficult and emotional for me and he has not acknowledged that in any way. I always feel that it is me trying to make right with him. Also I have a chronic health condition and have been told to minimise stress as much as possible. It is all about him and his money. I guess what saddened me most is that I have realised that he hasn’t actually changed at all, it has just been sleeping. I am scheduled to move back with him beginning of next year but now I am wondering if it is going to be right for me. Perhaps this blow up over the weekend is a message to me.


This seems like an obvious statement, but the ways we can break trust are less than obvious. If you are in the habit of telling white lies just because it’s easy, he will notice. You will also break his trust if you often lie to other people. If he sees you lying to family members and close friends about things, he will have every reason to think you’d lie to him.
we have been together for 17 years and married for 14, yes after time we did not value you each other, and our marriage became a chore when i found out he was on a chat site. he told me then he was not happy but only after i found out he was on the chat site. but never before that, i have found messages and pics on his phone. i literally have to sneak his phone when he has passed out as he keeps that phone so close to him he never lets it out of his site even if he goes to the loo. he told me he wanted a divorce with a sms message> but still wants me only for sex……. i just give in because I love him.

You might think him telling you all about it means nothing fishy is going on behind your back – he wouldn’t dare cheat on you with her and then come home, look you in the eye and share office stories about her… Would he? It might mean nothing, or it might mean that he has started to shift his attention to this other woman… While at the same time losing interest in you.
Had been married for about 10 years. Have three beautiful kids all under the age of 10. Future ex wife filed for divorce and did not talk. The manipulation game worked for her for it drew the worst out of a good man that pleaded to keep his family together. We were on the brink of re-building our marriage through counseling, but future ex wife wrecked a family. We never committed adultery, fought through anger, called each other names, nothing. No alcohol or drug abuse. My eldest daughter has been devastated. So hard to see your kids cry and plead for their mommy and daddy to stay together. I never wanted such an outcome of a 10 year marriage. Things moved so fast over the first 7 years with several children born, loss of job linked to the shitty economy took a toll on my and my future ex wife. I developed depression over the last year of marriage of which made family tough. I received appropriate care for my depression and I looked up to my wife at the time for much needed support. With wife starting a business, me staying at home with the kids while trying to gain access to job opportunities, I was spent. I did some recharging by protecting myself from the negativity that spewed from my wife over the last several months of marriage. I needed to regain my individuality that I lost trying to serve a woman that was controlling and very self serving. Overall, we both made some minor mistakes in our marriage that went noticed – meaning all of the negative baggage was carried to the point of filing for divorce instead of FOCUSING ON THE POSITIVE THINGS THAT YOUR PARTNER BRINGS TO THE MARRIAGE! We failed to communicate effectively and truly trusting each other. I made a game out of the situation that was worsened by my attitude to make the situation worse. Depression is a bastard for I just wasn’t myself during the depression days. Now I have a bit of a clearer mindset as the depression fades with time and much self reflection. I do still find myself very alone…pondering the what ifs at times…but for the most part, I often wonder what could have been. Our divorce process has been pretty boring. My future ex wife doesn’t speak to me and hasn’t since the divorce filing. I often wonder about reconciliation, but due to the current communication state, I feel that reconciliation is no longer an opportunity. Now that I see my kids 4 days per month, I have lost connection with them. I no longer think about them as much as I did when I was at home. I pick em up and two of them want to stay with mom…I take em home and they run after the car crying for their dad. Oh well, kids will be affected, but that is the way of the future ex wife.
It's difficult to say what is going on with your husband based on what you have posted here. Your husband's response could mean a lot of things and it is very important that you get to the bottom of this. I'm not trying to sound condescending, honestly...it's just that I have been in almost the exact same situation as you...a little over a year ago. My original post would have sounded very similar to yours here.
One warning sign would be that your relationship is totally sexless, says sex and relationship therapist Megan Fleming, Ph.D. — or if you're having sex less than 10 times a year. After all, she says, it's intimacy that separates a romantic relationship from all other sorts of relationships you might have. "When that's going out the window, it's a really big red flag." Jane Greer, relationship therapist and author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship, says that a lack of visible physical affection — like kissing or hugging — is also indicative of a real problem.
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