5. Keep an open mind: This goes for a lot of things (seriously, just try the restaurant he wants you to try), but we are specifically talking in the bedroom. Everybody has different tastes, and if you want to keep your love life exciting (visit Babeland for ideas and inspiration), it’s wise to approach sex with a relaxed, non-judgmental attitude. As long as it doesn’t hurt you or throw your moral compass out of whack, adopt an “I’ll try anything once and twice if I like it” attitude. And if he’s into something you just can’t get down with? Try super hard not to let him know you think his kink is weird or gross. Most people have already had enough sexual shame to last them a lifetime (thanks, abstinence-only sex education!).


The issue I have been really struggling with is how he will take me leaving mentally and physically. He has told me in the past that he has thought of committing suicide. I later found out that he told me this to get a reaction out me. In addition to that, he has a certain disease and stress causes it to flare up. I am afraid when I make this move, it will cause him to really hit rock bottom.
As I read 7 ways to know if your marriage over I can say now out of 6 years this marriage has to end. I hate to do it but it’s known that I’m not what my husband want anymore. We argue I am accused of cheating because I go to church, everythings my fault when something goes wrong, I’m not allowed to talk about how I feel or I’m provoking an arguement it’s only how he feels that matters. I find porn websites all on the computer and thats my fault because he looks at that mess. He tells me I turn my back but he’ll wait until 3 in the morning after he gets off the web and decide he wants sex from me once a month. If I ask for sex it’s no i’m not up to it. Yes I can clearly see my marriage is over.
In our 13 years of marriage, my husband has had 6 jobs - I think he is always searching for something and simply not finding it. We've also literally travelled the world. (Which was his goal.) Recently, in the last few months, he lamented that we traveled as much as we did because we don't have anything to show for it, and here we are still renting and not owning a house. He is frustrated we spent the money on the travels, rather than buying a house.
Times he ignores his previous debt, and I take that very serious. I feel like I am raising a child sometimes. He said he feel awkward when going out and he has to observe his surroundings. I just don’t know what to do. I find my self looking for another outlet. Like going out and having good good convo with others. One time we were all drinking me and my friends and he aggressively choked me. I almost went to my exs house that night I was so upset. We made up but I felt that was because of liquor. I am trying to bring some passion back

@lonelywife I’m sorry to have upset you, I didn’t mean my comment as a smug or I’m better than someone else type comment. I meant is as a push towards taking every effort to stay together – not for people with abusive partners- absolutely not, they should protect themselves emotionally and/or physically. I am on here because I just found out about my family member that revealed their marriage is just a piece of paper now and they are living separately under the same roof. They are actually good friends and seem fine with it but have children – and I think they just missed out on date night (which they did) for 5 years and could give themselves a second chance. That is why I was searching out for information on marriages and divorce. I just know my parents and my husband’s parents have been together for over 30 years each and they went in ups and downs, it wasn’t all perfect of course, but they are still happy they are together through everything. Love is a funny thing, and some people have what it takes to be life long partners and there are a lot of benefits to that for themselves AND their children – and then there are people who just aren’t good together period. I just think people in our generation are getting too caught up in what makes them happy in the moment without really valuing what they have built thus far together and the long term future – especially if they are having fun meeting someone new without giving their marriage a full chance. Hope you understand where I was coming from now.

The need to protect their loved ones is also the basis for men while the need to be protected is the basis for women. And although modern men no longer have to protect the weaker sex from predators and wild tribes, there are still dangers in our troubled world. Therefore, it is pretty natural that a loving man becomes worried when his second half comes back from work late or is alone in an unfamiliar place. If he cannot be around, then he’ll at least call her and make sure she’s fine. By protecting a woman from threats, whether real or imaginary ones, a man feels like a superhero.

Is your marriage worth fighting for, or is it over? I don’t know the answer, but I do believe that you can save your marriage if you try. You can’t change your husband, and you can’t stop him from ending your relationship…but you can change how you respond to him. This doesn’t mean you let him walk all over you, or you force yourself to become someone you’re not.
I have been married for five years, with my husband for twelve years. I’m not really sure if we should stay together or not. Last year I left him for three months then came back and now he says “he is just waiting for me to leave again”. We have been having the same fights for 12 years. They are- I don’t clean the house the way he thinks I should and I don’t have sex with him enough. I am not happy in our marriage but I feel like I’m stuck. We have a 10 year old and twin 3 years olds, I don’t have a job or a place to go. I have no friends and I can’t stay with my mom(she has her own issues). Everything inside me is screaming that in order for me to be happy I have to get away from this marriage, but I feel like I can’t. I’m scared that I will not be able to take care of my kids. I am also afraid that he won’t let me take the kids. He has never been physically abusive but recently when we start arguing he threatens that he will get violent with me, so now I’m scared of that too. I feel like I keep coming up with reasons not to leave. I know that it will be hard but how do you leave someone and keep your sanity at the same time?
Thank you for sharing this. Right now, my soon to be ex husband of 12 years, is with his girlfriend and my children (as well as her children). I keep beating myself up and wondering why he is happier with her than he was with me. But in the end, I know I loved him well and couldn’t have done anything differently. I am not solely responsible for his happiness. Now he’s going out into the world to find it. But the world will come up empty in the end. Only God can fill the void he’s looking to fill. Please pray for me.
Let him know you're thinking about him. Not every day, but maybe once a week or so send him a cute text letting him know what you want to do with him when he gets home. Get flirty and cute with him, just like it was when the two of you first started dating. He will enjoy the gesture, particularly if it is during the middle of the workday when he is feeling down and bored. Adding that kind of excitement and spontaneity back into your lives is a great way to keep things interesting.
When my sister and I were kids we would celebrate St. Nicholas day. We are American but my mother is from a German family. My mother had us put our shoes outside our bedroom door so St. Nicholas could leave us goodies in our shoes. The next morning we would check our shoes and find various nuts and small chocolate candies wrapped in foil to look like coins.
Our instincts can often tell us first when a relationship just isn't working — but we don't always trust that voice, says couples therapist Susan Pease Gadoua, co-author of The New I Do: Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists and Rebels. "We often ignore our gut instincts because that voice is very quiet and calm, unlike the internal voice in our heads that thrives on high drama." We're trained to trust logic in many areas of life, so when a niggling feeling ("Am I really still in love with this person?") presents itself, it's hard to pay attention to it because there aren't any hard facts or rational reasoning. Drill down on that initial instinct and ask yourself more specific questions. If you find your responses are things like, "I don't feel safe to express myself, I don't feel respected and haven't felt happy in a long time," that's a sign that things have gone awry — and you shouldn't ignore it. "The truth doesn't go away simply because we don't want it to be there; that voice stays in the background and weighs on you," says Gadoua. "Getting quiet within is key to being able to hear instincts. And like a muscle, the more you trust your gut, the easier it becomes to decipher that voice — which comes from your heart — from the voice in your head."
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