Nowadays, men and women have a lot of jobs and responsibilities. That is why ladies should understand that you cannot wait for your husband with a list of tasks to do just after he comes from work. When your partner returns, just give him a moment to enjoy the time, to calm down, to be with you. In addition, women should remember that men do not have such concentration as they do, and are unable to do many things at once. But he will surely help you as soon as you accept that he is doing things one by one.
Hi Henry, thanks for your thoughts. You asked: ” Where is the part about “happy husband” in this saying?” First, “happy wife, happy life” is an invention created to confuse you. It’s not true and it’s a unhealthy perspective for both parties. Therefore, there is no “happy husband” equivalent except for “Happy man, happy husband.” Relationships tends to self-destruct when one or the other partner puts the responsibility for their happiness on the other. It’s an impossible task, but we try anyway. “If you REALLY loved me you would find a way to make me happy”. Happiness is not given… Read more »
Hey, ive been married for not even two months now and me and my wife are already seperated due to the temper i have and the possesiveness and jelousy i have. The reason i am possesiveness is that ive seen her talk to her exes all the time and exes to me are a huge red flag, it stopped after we got married and are now expecting a baby, but since then she never would do anything i wanted and i would start to get agitated until one day i blew up. Her mother talked her into making me leave the house and be without communication with her. Everytime i try to communicate with her, she says it makes her sick to even talk to me. I found out secretly that she has been talking to an ex on facebook since we split up and telling him that she doesnt want it to work and if hes coming home on august. I want this to work and i know i need to change, but how do i get her to see that when she doesnt believe me, or even cares to put any effort in it
The feeling of being head over heels in love is powerful. So powerful, in fact, many couples forget that being married, or at least having a successful marriage, goes beyond just being in love. Klapow explains that men often don't realize marriage isn't an addition to their life, but really a call to change their life. "This takes a while but sets in hard — that marriage means your life changes," he said. "Men have a hard time accepting this."
This sounds just like everyone else, things were good, then changed to bad…He doesn’t cheat on me, or hang out with his friends too much – as a matter of fact he stays right here almost 24 hours a day. We have 3 kids, which is why I haven’t left to date. If we were to split up he would move back near his family which is 8 hours away – a little hard for my kids.
known my wife 50 yes been married 43, Can’t stand to talk to her,eat with her be around her.I have so much animosity toward her I get ill just looking at her. For the last 20yrs its like talking to wall.She never does what she says she will do. I feel like i have been beating a dead horse.Try everything to save marriage but nothing has worked So now I have shut down.We are just existing together.We got married at the age of 21 me and her 19.Tried to have affair felt to guilty could not perform.No sex or contact of any kind just passing time. Lord how it ever get this screwed up.
Women are worriers by nature. In fact, according to one scientific study (via Metro), women appear to have lower levels of anxiety-regulating brain chemicals, which, as a result can make us more, "high strung." If you tend to project your worries on to your husband — constantly reminding him to take his multivitamin, ease up on the beer-drinking, and repeatedly telling him to take an umbrella to work in case it rains — you could be headed for trouble, says Hope.
Sex to my husband is physical release. I won't go into specifics. He's never recognized me on Mother's Day. He says I am not his mother. Anniversaries, nothing. Christmas, birthday's? Nothing. He never tells me he loves me. He was attracted to me based on my looks. We've been married 36 years and I have kept my figure and as much of looks as is possible at 57 years old. He was very jealous for the first 20 years of marriage. I spent a lot of time trying to convince him through my actions that I loved him and would never leave him. Jealousy is an ugly thing. He has spent more time and money on hunting than for me. I once said your sons, our sons, mean more to you than I do. He looked at me dumb founded and said "Of course." Any suggestions on my part to do something together were ignored or filled with broken promises. He doesn't cheat on me, works hard, the usual good man on the outside, but he cares not one bit about my feelings. If I feel I am going to cry, I go off to another room so he won't see. This would make him mad. But I've stayed. I tried to leave different times, but I let him talk me into coming back. Now I am stuck. I am raising our infant grandson because my son is in prison and the baby's mother is on drugs. I try not to be bitter. I pray that I won't be a bitter old woman. But I am a sad woman.
@lonelywife I’m sorry to have upset you, I didn’t mean my comment as a smug or I’m better than someone else type comment. I meant is as a push towards taking every effort to stay together – not for people with abusive partners- absolutely not, they should protect themselves emotionally and/or physically. I am on here because I just found out about my family member that revealed their marriage is just a piece of paper now and they are living separately under the same roof. They are actually good friends and seem fine with it but have children – and I think they just missed out on date night (which they did) for 5 years and could give themselves a second chance. That is why I was searching out for information on marriages and divorce. I just know my parents and my husband’s parents have been together for over 30 years each and they went in ups and downs, it wasn’t all perfect of course, but they are still happy they are together through everything. Love is a funny thing, and some people have what it takes to be life long partners and there are a lot of benefits to that for themselves AND their children – and then there are people who just aren’t good together period. I just think people in our generation are getting too caught up in what makes them happy in the moment without really valuing what they have built thus far together and the long term future – especially if they are having fun meeting someone new without giving their marriage a full chance. Hope you understand where I was coming from now.
It’s not always a denial issue. Many people who struggle with depression – and I are one – think “this too shall pass” and that they will somehow snap out of it. So before you call anyone an “idiot”, walk a mile in his/her shoes. You don’t want to sacrifice your life for them, so be it. Don’t. But don’t try to paint it as a character issue. Because so many people view as such, those who struggle with depression often feel ashamed or embarrassed that they need help and can’t just snap out of it.
I spent 42 years of my life with a moody man. It was hell. I ran after him like a puppy trying to keep peace in our home, especially for our children. I lost all respect for him. Yet we were both committed to making it work. Sometimes I think he did his best, but his best was a moody mess. There was a specific moment, after all those decades, when I said, “I’m done”, and I never looked back. We are friends. I value him, but I no longer have to put up with moods. I was desperate for peace, and now I have it. To those of you who are young and making decisions about a relationship, and the man is moody, I say “run, run, run, run”. It will only get worse after marriage. It is not up to you to “make him happy”. Your life will be ruined, and he will stay the same.
He gets angry if/when it becomes clear that I don’t trust him. But, he makes no efforts to help that either. He’s just mad about it. He may gripe about the way I do something but he offers no solutions, or alternatives. It’s kind of like, “if you do it like that, you’re stupid.”, and my natural response is “really? how should I do it?” to which his reply is “I don’t know, but not like that.” That isn’t an actual converstaion, it’s just that’s how it feels.
OK, so I'm not saying your partner is picking up new hobbies because they're unhappy. It's 100 percent healthy to have side projects, and to do things alone. You might want to worry, however, if it seems like they're using these hobbies as a way of escaping the relationship. "If they are not finding happiness in your relationship, they will try finding it in other aspects of their life," Bizzoco says. And that's not OK.
One of the biggest predictors of a happy marriage is how healthy each partner is, emotionally and spiritually. The healthier you are, the better your relationships are. If your husband is a good man – emotionally and spiritually healthy – and yet you’re struggling with boredom, lack of fulfillment, and unhappiness in your life and marriage…then the answer is within you.
Background Information – He is ex-military but when we lived in Washington state, he went through some things. I tried to be understanding, even though I didn’t understand. He would sleep all day, play video games all night, and the only interaction we had was fighting over the kids. It came to a head one night and the fighting got a tiny bit physical. I’ve been in an extremely abusive relationship when I was in my early 20’s. I refuse to do it again. I contacted family services on base and we started counseling. It was mandatory for him. I have two teenage daughters from the marriage I was in previously, and my husband and I have a 3 year old son. Counseling was helping some. It was helping us learn how to communicate better. It was helping with exercises to calm down, things like that. He was removed from our house on base the first night and we were only allowed to see each other with military 1st SGT present. He was so angry all the time but I could tell he was trying. As soon as he thought I might leave, he seemed almost panic stricken. Before this, he would not speak to me for weeks as a time. If I tried to hug him, he would pull away from me and say things like he didn’t want to be touched right now. So, we went through the counseling, he got out of the military and we now live in Oklahoma. He has made so much progress but he drinks too much. I’ve tried to talk to him about it when he’s sober. I can almost see the switch flip from okay to better watch out mode. He will get aggressive, pick fights with the kids, be mean to the kids (which makes me feel like a rabid dog), he will be fine one minute and tell us the next to “Get out”. He growls like an animal when he gets this way.
Dr. Fran Walfish, a Beverly Hills-based family and relationship psychotherapist and author of The Self-Aware Parent, describes a potentially troubling scenario in which one partner exercises control over the other. This is especially problematic if "one partner feels over-controlled by the other spouse, and has made great attempts to verbalize his or her feelings and feels defeated because his or her expressions and words are not validated," says Walfish. One way this issue might present itself? If a spouse controls the finances of the family, and prohibits the other partner from having their own credit card or checking account.