i have been married for a year and we have a 18 month old son together. in the past my husband had been talking to his ex and he had her phone number he had also been talking to girls saying he would rather be with them then making money for his family and he kept telling girls how beautiful they are but he wasnt telling me that i was pretty. we had signed divorce papers and i kissed a coworker which i told him about and i apologised many times he brings it up a lot. recently i had an ectopic pregnancy and that caused some stress and while i had it he shoved me and i fell and broke a pack and play and got injured the police were called and we didnt see eachother for a week we decided to stay together but we argue all the time and when hes not at work which is 5 hours a day he is always sleeping or on facebook or watching tv we barely even speak and he barely spends time with me or our son. i dont know what to do anymore ive told him how i feel but nothing changes.
You ladies are evil. This article is despicable, Maybe your controlling behavior is why your husband cant hear you. The best thing that looks good on a woman is kindness and understanding! The author is obviously has border line personality disorder. Men I know its hard to be a man sometimes, but If your wife does any of these things…. RUN. These things listed are not weapons but manipulations for a selfish person to get what they need and benefit NO partnership!
If something comes up with his work schedule and he has to stay for a late meeting, don't freak. Yeah, sure, he missed dinner (again), but at least he is calling and letting you know. From time to time, things will come up where you will be disappointed. Don't overreact, take a deep breathe and understand. Try to not take things personally, as your husband is already stressed out enough from those types of situations.
If your husband's behavior is the reason behind your unhappiness, talk about it in terms of how it affects you rather than placing blame. One effective way to do this is through "I" statements. For instance, you say to your husband, "I feel lonely when you stay out late every night." This may help your husband see things from your perspective. In contrast, if you say something like, "You're so selfish for staying out all the time," your husband may feel attacked and be less receptive to your concerns.
At some point in our lives, we have realized that most men lean on a fragile ego. This is what makes them vulnerable to a few words of appreciation. We recommend that use the words of appreciation like thank you when they do anything for you, even the smallest tiniest things. If you want to receive more of that behavior, this is the way! Relationships and affection are part of a healthy lifestyle. You have to express appreciation at all times when that guy who drives you crazy does something for you. Believe it, they will love it.
I am sorry that is happening to you. As I read your story, I was compelled to tell you that you need to get out of that relationship. YOU deserve so much better and need to be treated with respect. Walk away. The first step is hard. You need to do this for you or you will be miserable… Trust me. Good luck in your decision but you do deserve a lot better.
Maybe you did not understand… My wife is talking to 3 of my ex’s girlfriends and one is when I was in my 20’s… I am 42 now and my wife 39… Why is she talking to them it is immature… I am a liar now and I hear this because of the ex’s and it’s sad for me… I left my wife Dec 2016 and it did hurt a lot cause I did truly love her… I could not deal with the talking about my ex’s each night etc… I was feeling so bad that I had to think about my health first… I am never right she is and nothing I do is ever right… So I had to leave that situation… Why are people this way and it seem like they can’t see it…
If I am talking to someone who might have a different outlook from mine I find areas that we do have a common experience and talk and laugh about that.  Expecting to be entertained by your mate does not seem to be very realistic or mature.  I understand the pull and the excitement that the back and forth banter can create, but lets be real that kind of banter is all about being INTERESTING not INTERESTED.  If you find someone who does that with you, you will most likely end up with someone who will compete with you for attention.

If you want to stop your husband from having an affair and save your family finance, you must learn how to break your husband's wrong associations in a wise and smart manner. One main thing that can make your husband to have an affair and cheat on you is the kind of friends he keeps. Spend time to study his friends. Find out their values, and if they do not measure up, go down in prayers to God to sever the relationships. Do not feel you can separate them from your husband by nagging, complaining, fighting or condemning your husband or his friends. You can successfully achieve this through wisdom, the right techniques, patience and prayers. Remember, your husband is an adult, you cannot choose his friends for him. I will show you a powerful eBook that will help you to win your husband to yourself.
you have to build up confidence and feel worthy without getting validation from another person. of course everyone wants their spouse to feel attracted to them but don’t base your sole confidence on whatever positive or negative comments ur wife may feel or say towards you. you have to learn to love and accept yourself before anyone else ever will. whether you feel over weight or not you still carry yourself like you are the man you wish to look like, until you loose the weight. oh yea don’t feel like having money is going to make everything better. money cant buy true love, friendship, or confidence. love who u are and evryhting will hopefully line up for you. good luck
I used to like having sex with him but I used to initiate it always. From last month I have lost complete interest in sex. I don’t enjoy it. My day starts with sadness and I even wake up in the middle of the night and I keep regreting my decision of marrying him. I am in a depressed state because I am losing interest in almost every aspect of life. I love kids but I don’t want them to be like him or like his family members. I don’t like his personality, his smile, his way of holding me. I don’t hate him but at the same time I have stopped loving him.

I have been with my fiancee for over three years now, and we have a 2 year old and an 8 month old. Talk about stress! I’m not really sure if our relationship is at an end, though. He left me for his high school crush (who was in a relationship at the time) while I was pregnant. We got back together when he realized how foolish that was, and promptly cheated on me with a random girl from a bar (in the backseat of his sister’s car while she was driving no less). Since then, he has made some progress, but still insists on going to strip clubs (but gets furious if he even thinks that I look at another man). He has become a much better father, but still plays video games for hours on end instead of getting a job while our rent goes unpaid and we live on food stamps. When I got a decent tax return, he used it to go buy another car instead of paying our bills. We can’t even afford to put plates on the car!!! Last night, we were changing, and his friend happened to be in the hallway when my fiancee opened the door. He got mad at ME for having my shirt off! Is this salvageable? Can I help him to grow up, or should I just give up? He does NOTHING. I work, cook, clean, change the diapers, do the laundry, and even help him with his homework. I can’t live like this anymore, but I am not financially able to leave. I feel like he makes little changes… but is that ennough?
I am here to testify on how Dr Stanly help me to bring back my ex-boyfriend who left me 3 months ago. I got his email on the internet on an article how he had help so many people to get their ex partner back with spell, so i emailed HIM and told my problems to him and he gave me an assurance of getting my boyfriend back within 24hours and to my greatest surprise my boyfriend came back to me after 24hours of casting the spell.
One of the biggest predictors of a happy marriage is how healthy each partner is, emotionally and spiritually. The healthier you are, the better your relationships are. If your husband is a good man – emotionally and spiritually healthy – and yet you’re struggling with boredom, lack of fulfillment, and unhappiness in your life and marriage…then the answer is within you.
We’ve been married 8 years. Suddenly his dreams switch 180 and I’m to blame when they don’t come true. From wanting to settle down and be a farmer now he suddenly wants to become an Evangelist, with us having 5 kids in tow. Now I am a very religious woman, but this 180 has sent me for a loop. All we’ve talked about is having our own place, and now he tells me that this has always been his dream and I’m holding him back. I can make it without him, but I feel like I owe it to the kids to keep going. There are times I don’t want to even look at him, and times I want to show him the door. I know marriage isn’t based on love, it’s a commitment between two people. But I’m tired of being blamed for everything going wrong in our lives, and I’m tired of our kids seeing how he treats me. Do I think our marriage is over? Yeah, it’s been over quite a while. Am I gonna hang for the kids? Yeah, gonna do that too. See, what some of you don’t get is that after you have kids, it’s not about you anymore. They didn’t ask to be created, to be born, but here they are. It’s not about how you feel or he feels or she feels, it’s about how can you get along together for the kids sake. Maybe separate bedrooms or even something more than that, but the kids come first in a marriage. Your life is not your own anymore. Grow up, grow a set, get over it and get on with life. The kids are the most important thing, not anything else.
The last thing that men define as the cause of their misery in a relationship is the impact of a career on a private life. Contemporary women beside the job, have many other responsibilities, which sometimes is too much for them. Men in the modern partnership also have new tasks and not always are able to perform all duties properly. This causes frustration, which is either unloaded at work or at home. But remember, you cannot put your emotions on others because of your problems.
The most important things in any relationship are as follows; trust, honesty, and communication. All of those traits are necessary for any long-term relationship. To start, gain the confidence to have this talk with your partner. Calm yourself. Think about what you want to say. VERY IMPORTANTLY, assess why you're unhappy. Are they not giving you enough attention? Do they say things that are hurtful? Do you feel misunderstood? When you're ready and comfortable, approach your partner, be straight-forward. Honesty and communication is extremely important. Tell them how you feel. Tell them why you feel the way you do. Tell them what you'd like changed, and then ask them if there's anything you could do differently too. The worst case scenario is that it doesn't work out, but that is okay. You tried to work on something you cared about, and that's what matters. You tried. The best case scenario is that your partner will listen and the both of you will work to improve your relationship.
Im 22 years old and have a pne month old baby boy. After moving in with my now husband, I found out he was cheating on me with a co-worker even before I was pregnant. When I confronted him hr first denied it until I showed him proof. I love him very much. His son and me need him. I dont want my child to not grow up without his dad. If it was just me I would of left. But im thinking about what is best for my son. After we talked about it we said we would try to make it work. I thought he would stop but I catch him lying to me and getting out to go see her. I went through his phone and saw that he tells her he loves her and hates having to leave each other. She tells him that she hates knowing that he comes home to me. I love him but I feel so hurt about everything especially after the fat that we have a son now. We had made so many plans that im am soo confused and not sure of his feelings. He doesn’t tell me he loves me. He says that the fire in our relationship is not there or the love like when we meet 2years ago. I dont know what to do or how to make our relationship work. How do I bring tjat intimacy back into our relationship. Im not talking about sex but emotionally.
The only good life experience that I received from marriage was seeing my 3 kids born and growing. Add a dog to the mix. Lose a job. Get slapped with depression and a wife lacking the necessary support to her man and now you have a man that is no longer interested in being with her anymore. I do deep down inside care for my wife, but I have reached the end with respect to the criticism and the nagging regarding how we try to raise our kids. Also, there is a lot of the word “I” that comes from my wife’s pie hole during conversations with a marriage counselor and all I can think of is that I am married to myself.
Relationships are delicate, complex, and always changing. Some marriages last 70 years, some last 72 days (looking at you, Kim)—and while neither of those options is necessarily right or wrong, most people enter a relationship hoping it will last a long time, if not a lifetime. There is no one-size-fits-all secret to a lasting, happy, and faithful relationship, but there are some general guidelines.
As the novelist and essayist Charles Baxter put it in his book Burning Down the House, "People in a traumatized state tend to love their furniture." It's almost as if we're gathering things to bolster against loneliness. And there's a study to confirm the same rule applies to marriage: Margaret Clark, a professor of psychology at Yale, found that "people who attach more value to their possessions may be less secure in their personal relationships than those who put less value on material goods." A large-screen, 3D-enabled television isn't complicated. A shiny new tablet won't expect too much.
I have been married for 25 years. It has been a rough one off and on for the whole time. I could give so many details but that would take forever. The gist of if it is he travels a lot and I have trust issues with him. We have not had sex in almost eight months. I have tried but get pushed away everytime, to the point I have stopped even trying. We have hardly had any relations for the past four years. We sleep in separate rooms and have for a while now. He refuses to talk about anything and when I try to bring things up he just gets upset and tells me I’m being stupid. He cannot seem to answer a yes or no question. He goes on golf trips too throughout the year and takes me nowhere. I just recently took a weekend trip for myself (while he was away for over a month himself on “business”), and he would not talk to me for over three weeks. He is home now, and we have barely said anything to each other. I have tried everything I know to do for 25 years to communicate with him, and he just won’t give me the time of day. My feelings have slowly dwindled, and I still am hoping for a “miracle,” but I cannot do it all myself. I’m tired of having just a room mate. I feel like am a second mother to him. All he has to do is go to work, watch TV, and play golf three to four times a week. Any suggestions on how to get him to talk about things and tell me why he refuses to be intaimate with me and what might be going on with him? I just can’t take it anymore.
If you want to stop your husband from having an affair, you need to learn how to make him think of you always. This means you need to look for new ways to keep the passion and romance burning like wild fire. Make him to desire you always even when he is at work. Make him to even want you around him during lunch break and every time he is less busy.
And just a word on sarcasm.  I discovered the rush of sarcasm in my teens.  I had a sharp, witty, sarcastic comeback for everything.  I have to say I was a bit full of myself in that area.  I thought being able to have a comeback for everything actually had value.  One day my sister told me that what I had said didn’t make her feel good, she asked me if I ever stopped to think about how those remarks affected other people.  I had never stopped to think about that, but I did then.  Sarcasm is “humor” with an ugly twist, tread lightly.
my husband and i have been married for nearly 5 years and for the past year things have been awful. he is unemployed and drinks all the time. he puts his friends and social life above what is best for us. since we have been together, he has blown all of our savings and now we are living on next to nothing. he doesn’t seem to care at all about our financial situation or how we can fix it…just wants to hang out with his friends and drink. we have two small children that i do 90% of everything for, while working, trying to take care of the house and the budget. every time i bring up our relationship and how we should work on things, he just says that we need a vacation and that we have no problems. i could talk to him until i’m blue in the face about our issues and he just brushes it off or says he doesn’t care how i feel. the thought of sex with him honestly disgusts me at this point. i am not attracted to him at all anymore. i don’t know what to do. a part of me still loves him very much but i have lost almost all respect for him. please help me figure out what to do. thank you.
From a woman’s point of view, you need to get out. For the sanity of yourself, and your children. Your wife has little to no respect for you, and from what you’ve said, herself. Her values are also not anywhere near in line with your own, as she believes that her actions are justifiable. I once was the woman who took advantage of wonderful, goodhearted men, and who cared about nothing more than having my ego fed. It is impossible to be in a relationship with a selfish person, unless you are a glutton for neglect and abuse. The fact that she is taking no responsibility for her actions, and manipulating you in a way that is intended to make you feel guilty for her wrong doings, also validates the fact that she is not only out for her own self indulging ways, but also that she has such little respect for you that she sees you as nothing more than a pawn. With you, she can have the upright lifestyle. Successful husband, children, home.. but because of your leniency in letting her manipulate you, she can also have her second life, for those she doesn’t mind displaying that too. I am not for divorce, at all. I believe that a couple must do everything in their power to rectify their marriage, ESPECIALLY when children are involved. However, there comes a time when you must stop slamming your head against the brick wall and accept that there is sometimes no way of changing a person, or their priorities. I suggest you file for divorce, and allow your wife to live the life that she seems to gravitate too. Remain an excellent father, for it seems you are the one who is most levelheaded and who your children must rely on, and move on. Those with a good heart, must be paired with someone who nurtures that heart, not destroys it. I know you may not yield to my advice, I was once the person on the victim side of an unhealthy relationship, but once you get out, you will be free of the emotional strain that this woman holds on your life. I wish the best for you, and for your children. All I ask is that through the process of divorce, if you choose to take that route, do not let anger or resentment rob you of the dignity and respect you deserve, from all parties.. most importantly your kids.
You describe a difficult situation. I don't think anyone can CONTROL their emotions but I'm convinced they can INFLUENCE them (by which I mean work to make them more positive—but not by simply deciding to make them more positive). All human beings have executive functions that can, most of the time, mute the effect of negative emotions on behavior (e.g., we can get angry but choose not to yell or hit).

I recently told my husband of a little over a year (we’ve been togehter 5 years total and have a 2 year old together) that I wanted a seperation. I’m not happy with our marriage and I havn’t been for a long time I don’t believe we should ever have gotten married but at the same time I love him and I’m so scared that I will change my mind. I work full time, go to school full time and take care of our daughter most of the time while he works at a restuarant as a server about 20-25 hours a week making little to know money (and he’s 6 years older). I’m tired of not only carrying the financial burden but of nothing being good enough. Nothing I do seems to be right for him I don’t clean or cook enough. We also are barely ever itimate I’m in my early 20’s and would like to have regular intercourse with my husband and it’s gotten to the point where I feel like I have to beg him to be with me and even when we are he acts like it’s a treat. I’m so scared that somehow he will talk me into staying with him (b/c he can not support himself), but on the other hand he is the father of my child and I don’t want to abandon him to be homeless (he has no family here). I just don’t know where to draw the line? When does it become him taking advantage of me? and how do I prevent him from talking me into staying especially when I KNOW that it would be bad?
This sounds just like everyone else, things were good, then changed to bad…He doesn’t cheat on me, or hang out with his friends too much – as a matter of fact he stays right here almost 24 hours a day. We have 3 kids, which is why I haven’t left to date. If we were to split up he would move back near his family which is 8 hours away – a little hard for my kids.
We’ve been married 8 years. Suddenly his dreams switch 180 and I’m to blame when they don’t come true. From wanting to settle down and be a farmer now he suddenly wants to become an Evangelist, with us having 5 kids in tow. Now I am a very religious woman, but this 180 has sent me for a loop. All we’ve talked about is having our own place, and now he tells me that this has always been his dream and I’m holding him back. I can make it without him, but I feel like I owe it to the kids to keep going. There are times I don’t want to even look at him, and times I want to show him the door. I know marriage isn’t based on love, it’s a commitment between two people. But I’m tired of being blamed for everything going wrong in our lives, and I’m tired of our kids seeing how he treats me. Do I think our marriage is over? Yeah, it’s been over quite a while. Am I gonna hang for the kids? Yeah, gonna do that too. See, what some of you don’t get is that after you have kids, it’s not about you anymore. They didn’t ask to be created, to be born, but here they are. It’s not about how you feel or he feels or she feels, it’s about how can you get along together for the kids sake. Maybe separate bedrooms or even something more than that, but the kids come first in a marriage. Your life is not your own anymore. Grow up, grow a set, get over it and get on with life. The kids are the most important thing, not anything else.
So, divorce is the logical exit, kids or not for both of us. It has been the case for at least 8 years. I gave it my best shot and I choose to believe she made an effort too. It just seemed to be doomed in the end. We will be going our separate ways soon. The children are aware of the difficulties and have been told of what is coming. They seem settled with the idea although they will notice lifestyle changes when I move out.

Three years ago, when my daughter was around 7 months old, I felt like I was having an identity crisis. I was on summer vacation from work, and I spent each day caring for our daughter all day. On top of that, I had volunteered to babysit a younger cousin of mine and have him spend the summer with us so that he could go to summer camp during the day and get tutoring from me in the evenings. After a while, each day felt the same-breastfeeding, cooking, cleaning, tutoring. I felt like all I was doing was making everyone else’s life easier, while losing a part of myself in the process.


"A change in habits is one of the first signs of relationship issues. It can indicate unhappiness, personal stress, even cheating — but it could also indicate a number of other things, so don't jump to conclusions. If there are any significant changes, discuss them with your partner to determine what's behind them." —Sarah E. Clark, licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship expert, and co-founder of Idealationship
This is just a good standard practice in a relationship, and it’s great for nudging a loved one out of a slump. It involves really seeing them, the contributions they make, and highlighting them. If your partner works long hours and then takes on a lot of the work at home in the evenings so that you can pursue your passions, acknowledge them for that. If they’re giving of their time and patience with your family, let them know you notice that.
known my wife 50 yes been married 43, Can’t stand to talk to her,eat with her be around her.I have so much animosity toward her I get ill just looking at her. For the last 20yrs its like talking to wall.She never does what she says she will do. I feel like i have been beating a dead horse.Try everything to save marriage but nothing has worked So now I have shut down.We are just existing together.We got married at the age of 21 me and her 19.Tried to have affair felt to guilty could not perform.No sex or contact of any kind just passing time. Lord how it ever get this screwed up.
Background Information – He is ex-military but when we lived in Washington state, he went through some things. I tried to be understanding, even though I didn’t understand. He would sleep all day, play video games all night, and the only interaction we had was fighting over the kids. It came to a head one night and the fighting got a tiny bit physical. I’ve been in an extremely abusive relationship when I was in my early 20’s. I refuse to do it again. I contacted family services on base and we started counseling. It was mandatory for him. I have two teenage daughters from the marriage I was in previously, and my husband and I have a 3 year old son. Counseling was helping some. It was helping us learn how to communicate better. It was helping with exercises to calm down, things like that. He was removed from our house on base the first night and we were only allowed to see each other with military 1st SGT present. He was so angry all the time but I could tell he was trying. As soon as he thought I might leave, he seemed almost panic stricken. Before this, he would not speak to me for weeks as a time. If I tried to hug him, he would pull away from me and say things like he didn’t want to be touched right now. So, we went through the counseling, he got out of the military and we now live in Oklahoma. He has made so much progress but he drinks too much. I’ve tried to talk to him about it when he’s sober. I can almost see the switch flip from okay to better watch out mode. He will get aggressive, pick fights with the kids, be mean to the kids (which makes me feel like a rabid dog), he will be fine one minute and tell us the next to “Get out”. He growls like an animal when he gets this way.

You’ve noticed that something doesn’t feel right between you and your husband… He seems different, less present, and maybe doesn’t even seem like the person you married at all these days. Your intuition tells you something is up and you’re realizing that your partner is unhappy. It’s unsettling feeling of course, but once you pinpoint what exactly is bothering him, you’ll be on your way to fixing the problem.
I’m so frustrated I don’t know where to start. If your spouse constantly texts other women about being intimate with them and when he gets caught he gives me this boo hoo episode claims he is sorry don’t wanna lose his marriage but repeat thus act over n over again. We tried counselling but stop going he states he was molested as a child n he needs to feels wanted by a female! Hell I’m his wife but I’m at my end I want out!

If you try to change your boyfriend, he will feel pressure and it won’t keep him happy. If you focus on what you like about him, and his good traits, it will build confidence in him, and help him develop in positive ways. I’m not telling you to inflate his ego and ignore things that really bother you, but accept that no one is perfect, not even yourself.
A Marriage Repaired: You can take on your marriage, improve yourself, deal with your children; or look realistically at divorce. There is dignity in making it work. And, there’s dignity in starting fresh for the right reasons. Take a look at Harville Hendrix or John Gottman's work on rehabilitating a marriage. For many, it can be done. Take an active role.
If you confront her it will only lead to a heated exchange and a forcing of her hand. This route never really goes well. My opinion is to ignore the entire subject and stop trying to find out more. I mean this with all sincerity. I forced the issue and lost twice before. Maybe I am an expert? In any case don’t be rash and make any descions without looking very hard and long down the road of possibilities. Things never turn out well when you force someones hand. Forgive and move on or realize that you will be giving up everything you know as your life today. Proabbly your house if you own it at the very least the place you currently live. You will be starting over nearly from scratch. Don’t even think of harming her in any way as the law will have you as their prime suspect no matter what. Worse case scenario is you think you are smarter than 30,000 people and off your wife. The law catches you and your son has no momma and no poppa. DON’T DO IT. Forgive and forget any of it happened and pray to God for a marrage fix without ceasing. Best advice you can’t buy.
One way to distinguish between a run-of-the-mill marital rut (where you've, say, fallen into boring routines and don't have much sex anymore) and a loveless marriage is to ask yourself how long the situation has been this way, and whether it's been steadily worsening. "Most couples go through rough times, but if the difficulties last more than two years, with no sign of relief, I'd recommend seeking professional help," says Gadoua. And sooner is always better to avoid passing the point of no return. "It would be ideal if we could tune into our longings and needs well before we get to the point that the love we once had is dead," says Cole, who notes that the average couple waits six years from the time they recognize relationship problems until the time they try therapy. By then, it's often too late — the problems in the marriage can corrode it to the point where it may be unsalvageable. So play it safe and consider scheduling a therapy session if you're struggling.
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