as a form of working on the marriage and refused to move back in several times yet the love making and sex has so much chemistry in it .always has.through out the year in januaury he said to much time and pain and he wasnt going to go any forther with trying my heart is so broken dont know what and how to get through to him please help we are christians and i desire this marriage to work
Inevitably, there will be bumpy times in your relationship. If it has come to a point that you're not sure where to turn, try your hardest to make things right. This doesn't mean endlessly talk about what you should be doing, do it! Schedule the counseling session. If you truly love your husband and want to make things right, don't always expect him to make the first step.
My husband of 9 years cheated on me. He says he doesn’t want to loose me and loves me, but has feelings for the other person. He ended it with her,but she keeps texting him. He says he needs time to get over the affair, but he is didstant from him. I want to work it out with him, he says he does too. How long should I wait for him to get over his feelings for her? Is the marriage saveable if he loves 2 people?
My husband has a do as I say not as I do attitude and he hits me anytime he feels he is losing the fight. Later he says that I deserved it. In all fairness I do say some pretty ugly things to him so I can see why he hits me. What makes me angry is that he has a victim complex and makes everything my fault. I accept that I was ugly to him but he never accepts that he was ugly to me. He always says you made me hit you and things like that. I am at the point where I am starting to hate him but leaving is not an option since we moved 1200 miles away for me to go to school. All my family thinks he’s a jerk and I don’t have contact with his family but I know they just placate him.
          No matter how much my husband affirms me and does loving things, I will feel empty if I’m not connected to my Creator. My relationship with God is where I get my sense of self. It’s in His presence that I recognize who I am. When my heart connects with His, I find unconditional love and fulfillment. I recognize that my life here isn’t by chance, but that everything I am and do matters to my Father.
I am the woman who loved him, supported him, and put up with him for well over two years.  I am the woman who kept coming back after he broke up with me. I am the woman who compensated and paid for everything because he couldn’t get a job. I am the woman who was there for him 24/7.  His family, of course, was on the other side of the country.  One of his siblings did say “we have always known there was something off about him, thank you for loving him enough to figure it out”, but then he was bullied by the rest of the family. So there was zero support coming from anyone.
Josie, I feel the same exact way. My boyfriend who I trusted the most in the world completely shattered all of my dreams. Everyone thought we would be together forever. Our friends always jokingly fought over who would be best man at our wedding. His family became mine, and mine became his His dad would always say to us “don’t let this love go, it’s the real deal.” His mom would introduce me as her daughter-in-law. We discussed marriage, and rings, and where would build our life together. In august he went to a wedding for a friend and called me after and said “I cant wait to marry you.” We’ve talked about marriage, family, adventures, everything together. For years we built our life and created shared dreams. And like a fool I believed him. Not even 3 weeks after that wedding he tells me that he is having doubts, needs space, doesn’t think we’re going to make it. He pulled the rug right out from underneath me. It’s been nearly 3 months and everyday I still sob. I keep asking myself how could this happen. I found out that he slept with one of his best girl friends, and I don’t think he’s ever coming back to me. I’m so devastated. I don’t know how to let go or move on — and I don’t want to. I still want to be with him, marry him, have the life we dreamed of having together. I am still so in love with him and still feel so connected to him. I don’t want to be a distant memory in his mind. Everyone keeps telling me that he saved me a world of pain later in life by showing me who he truly is now as opposed to when we’re married with kids and winds up walking away. They say that I’ll find someone that is so much better than him. But I don’t want that. I want him. I want my boyfriend back. I want him to chose me, and love me. And there’s nothing I can do to make that happen. It’s so devastating.
As the old saying goes, labels are for soup cans. That's true, but if you started a relationship with the goal of becoming a couple, including the dreaded labels like "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" or "wife" or "husband," and communicated that much from the start, then your significant other should be ready to at least discuss why or why not they want to be labeled as such.
We have been married for 10 years. we dated for a year, I am in second marraige, he has had four, which I found out by suprise in this past year. 4 months after we were married I was shocked to find out he had accepted over 100,000 a bills from his ex wife who had kicked him out and he was still paying her credit cards for 8 years. I was livid. Needless to say the trust was broken right away and our life became very difficult. My husband is great with words of agreement, but breaks any agreements we make. If the temperature get a little “hot” in the house the agreement is gone or he “doen’t remember.” We have not had sex for almost 3 years. He is one to try for a few times and if it doesn’t work…he’s gone. He spends ,most of his time in his office upstairs. We are older, 59 and 75, I detest being around him. He is retired and the economy does not afford a job for someone my age who cannnot be on their feet all day. We watched the movie fireproof separtely and he tried for 3-4 times and when it did not go his way he retreated. I have been in counseling for years and when suggested for us both to go he decided to go to his own counselor…alone. No suprise. He lives vicariously through me, has no hobbies, friends, interests and quite frankly I have exhausted my efforts, marraige suggested readings etc. He takes no accountability for his neglect or “conditional” effort. He will not read a book because he had to read a lot 40 years ago. the front of “looking good” has become weary and I have become very angry and short fused. I believe the marraige is over, we cannot afford to split. What to do… He is helpful if I ask him and remind him and remind him again. He is responsible with payments and watches tv and surfs the net. He has needed a hearing aid for 7 years and will not get one, (too stubborn)that has been very difficult. His mom passed last year and for te yeas she was here in the city. She was his priority and that was made very clear. we have no birthday, anniversary celebrations, get aways. We can’tbe in a car together or there is complete silence. He has and has not had dreams, goals for our future since I met him. He just said what was neeed for me to hear and it was much mistruth. Looking for counsel.
Again, alone time is key to a healthy relationship. You both should be able to be alone, leave each other alone, and feel comfortable going solo for awhile. That said, it's not normal if your partner needs to be by themselves 24/7. "If you've noticed more individual activities replacing joint ones, that could be a sign of a partner trying to retreat," Rogers says. "They might need time to think or have decided that they need to build up their own identity and independence outside of the relationship."
Who doesn’t enjoy a compliment from their partner every now and then. It reinforces why you’ve chosen each other and helps create a sense of security. Surely they can only mean good things, right? Well… according to Salkin, sometimes compliments can actually be warning signs that your partner isn’t happy, especially when they start to feel a little off . She explains that when your SO starts giving you compliments that are unnatural or just too much, “for example, he or she tells you how perfect you are and how he or she doesn't deserve you” that it may actually be a “a backhanded foreshadowing that something is up and that they're looking for you to break up with them.” Confusing, right?
It's extremely difficult, if not impossible, to disentangle our mood from a loved one's mood without swinging too far in the other direction, becoming disinterested and emotionally cut off as a means of self-preservation. Living with an unhappy person is, in many ways, like living with someone who's ill: the illness is theirs, but the experience belongs to the caregiver as well. Thinking of a loved one's unhappiness as an illness brings to mind some points I made in an earlier post, The Caregiver's Manifesto, that, in modified form, may apply:

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ive been with my boyfriend for 4 yrs we have a beautiful 1 yr old daughter & well lately he spends all day everyday outside in the garage watching tv & he doesnt care abt spending anytime with me & when I go tell him that its wrong that he is always outside and he doesnt spend no time w/me he tells me I bitch alot he nvr wants to listen to me & tells me to leave…& when I ask him if he’s tired of me & he says yes idk wat to do anymore ;(


it's always good to be honest w someone about your feelings. just sit down & talk to your boyfriend. tell him how you're feelings & what he's doing to make you feel unhappy. if he doesn't change after you've talked to him, then it's time to move on bc you deserve to be happy. there's no point in having a relationship w someone if you aren't even happy.

Hi. Im no expert but if he can stop to care about her feelings he can stop to care about your feelings if he loves you. Sometimes i believe some men get a little to selfish because they feel the love we have for them. But make him see that if he can’t stop seeing her then your of the menu too “so to speak”. Make him decided what’s more important. That way you can also find some one who can make you happy whether its him or someone else. That’s my thought good luck!


1. Make your partner a priority: Take time often to let your boyfriend or hubby know how special he is to you. We get that life gets super busy; school, jobs, kids, and other commitments often get in the way. Taking time out of your day to send a sweet text or pick up his favorite snack on the way home is a simple way to remind him he’s always on your mind.
Yes, at the beginning of the relationship, he brought flowers, chocolates, and have organized surprises. Over time, you noticed that such actions happen less frequently or only on important occasions. Unfortunately, you cannot expect that when you share a home and have a lot of responsibilities, he will be as carefree as a young boy. Of course, romanticism is important in the relationship and in the bedroom, so talk about what you expect and what you lack. But do not complain about your husband that he is not the same as before because you are not the same as you were.
I see you are on this page frequently, so I thought I would ask you for help here. I wrote a lengthy comment on the page dealing with difficult parents, and I desperately need some help or advice. I don’t know what to do…it’s going to ruin my marriage and/or my life soon. Please read it and see if you can help me at all. I would greatly appreciate any insight you may have. I’m desperate!!!

What did I do? Looking back, I admit that I did some crazy shit. And it is shit. Why did I ever think that punishing my husband by turning away from him and harboring resentments would EVER get me what I wanted? How could I possibly think that punishing him and withdrawing from him would magically give me more love, attention, praise, and affection? It’s nuts. It’s self-sabotage.
I thought my partner was the one. Cheesy as hell right! I went back home to visit my parents for a month. He was supposed to come but made up excuses like he couldn’t get time of work, money ect. He broke up with me a week after being home over the phone while I was on the other side of the world literally. It was so hard going back knowing I had lost my house, cat everything. I had to live at a friends house until I found my feet again. He asked my to find a house in another state! Which for some stupid reason, I did!!? He new he wanted to break up with me before I left. He couldn’t give me a reason. Nothing. It was just because. It took him over a month to tell me some sort of reason. But still to this day tells me how much he loves me how much he wants to see me and every now and then reminds me we will never be together. He told me today he slept with someone else. It killed me inside. I’m numb, confused and so so hurt. Who new your actually felt pain when your heart gets torn to spreads. I find my self reading this artical and I think what the fk was I thinking chasing someone who doesn’t love me the way I deserve to be loved. Great article.
Women, who are in the relationship, often think that a man must always try and take care of her and whatever she does, it should be the sheer happiness for him. She can dramatize and cry, and he should abstain and endure all. Maybe some people forget that just being in a relationship means reciprocity, compromise, and care. What's more, men, just like women, can also have worse times or bad humor. In addition, most men have a lot of responsibilities, which can also overwhelm them and affect their behavior.
My boyfriend told me is isn't happy, that things aren't the same between us. He says I'm not fun anymore and that I'm more serious now and I don't hold on a conversation with him like I use to. I'm going through some things, I lost my job things at home aren't good. I don't know what to do, he says he wants to me with me and he loves me and is in love with me. Should I give him space. I cant imagine losing him, he means everything to me . I want to change, I don't want to lose him and what we .
Scientists have proved that a man is able to listen to a woman attentively for only 6 minutes. That’s why, ladies, the next time you plan to have a conversation with your beloved, keep it short. The topics on which it is very difficult for a man to concentrate are unfamiliar people, celebrities, shopping, fashion, and diets. If possible, it’s best to discuss these types of things with your friends.
In today's article, we will focus on men. We want to show women what frustrates their partners and to what they pay attention to better take care of their husbands. A list of reasons why males are unhappy in a relationship was provided by Womansday.com. Finally, the men revealed what are the most common causes of their dissatisfaction and sadness, and after reading this, we will know what to change in our relationships to make them happy again. Look at our list!
Full disclaimer upfront: Nothing can make a relationship last with somebody who doesn’t want it to last. These tips will not prevent arguments, infidelity, or other problems, but they can help foster a healthy environment and productive partnership. Clear communication, openness to new experiences, and respect for your partner are key if you want to build a lasting, loving relationship.
"People do not experience love in the same way, and if you're not speaking your partner's 'love language', that can result in great unhappiness. Dr. Gary Chapman detailed the five different love languages to help couples learn and speak the language of their spouse — those languages are quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation, physical touch, and gift giving. Learning to speak a partners' love language has saved many marriages." —Kim Olver, relationship coach and author of Secrets of Happy Couples
Also, pay attention in the bedroom: Less sex or less interest in sex is another way to tell that something is up. Indeed, agrees Rogers: "A drop in physical touch is also a sign that the relationship could be on the rocks." Whether it's in the bedroom or out, if things are not so hot between the two of you, your mate might be feeling dispirited about the whole thing.
Now, it must be said: If you really make it your job to make your partner happy and he (or she) exploits your efforts or never truly reciprocates — never meeting your love with love — you may be in a deal breaker scenario. Despite your best efforts, you may be with someone who is unable or unwilling to love you back and you will probably need to terminate the relationship.
I recently told my husband of a little over a year (we’ve been togehter 5 years total and have a 2 year old together) that I wanted a seperation. I’m not happy with our marriage and I havn’t been for a long time I don’t believe we should ever have gotten married but at the same time I love him and I’m so scared that I will change my mind. I work full time, go to school full time and take care of our daughter most of the time while he works at a restuarant as a server about 20-25 hours a week making little to know money (and he’s 6 years older). I’m tired of not only carrying the financial burden but of nothing being good enough. Nothing I do seems to be right for him I don’t clean or cook enough. We also are barely ever itimate I’m in my early 20’s and would like to have regular intercourse with my husband and it’s gotten to the point where I feel like I have to beg him to be with me and even when we are he acts like it’s a treat. I’m so scared that somehow he will talk me into staying with him (b/c he can not support himself), but on the other hand he is the father of my child and I don’t want to abandon him to be homeless (he has no family here). I just don’t know where to draw the line? When does it become him taking advantage of me? and how do I prevent him from talking me into staying especially when I KNOW that it would be bad?
Wow. He cheated,not once but twice. We have been married it would have been 6 years 8/25. I do not know for sure what happened except that I went back to school, and could not give the 100% attention I always gave. I do get snappy when I cant meet his needs, he said this was part o it. But I have been a loving and dedicated wife partner for our entire relationship, I always was able to let him know when something bothered me. But he couldent come to me, he sought attention and help from anther, when she rejected him he ran to another to spite her, neither got hurt in the process, just me. He came back 3 times, and left just as fast. Now he asked for a devorce, in a letter, not even face to face. Coward. I deserved better
Now, it must be said: If you really make it your job to make your partner happy and he (or she) exploits your efforts or never truly reciprocates — never meeting your love with love — you may be in a deal breaker scenario. Despite your best efforts, you may be with someone who is unable or unwilling to love you back and you will probably need to terminate the relationship.

If your partner is suddenly argumentative, it might be due to excessive stress at work, or a side effect of their depression or anxiety. But it could also be due to their unhappiness. "When a partner is unhappy and can’t find a way out of the relationship, they will turn to creating a problem that isn’t there," relationship expert Lori Bizzoco tells Bustle. "Your partner may try picking fights over little things and making a big deal out of them."
Everybody needs time on their own and going out with the girls is an important pastime woman crave as it is a chance to be intimate with friends. If they are going to social spots it’s also a chance to be validated. Although you have time together with your wife, it does not sound like it’s a fun time. Think of things to do together that put you both in unknown environments. This will cause discomfort and in turn should spark a bond whereby together you both overcome your immediate anxieties and will rekndle friendship through protective actions.
We have been married for 14 years with a 13 year old boy. We both love our kid very much. Recently was been told by a friend that a guy is coming into my house whenever me and my son are not around. This has been going on quite some time (not so sure long). Then I check her phone bills and there a many phone call from her to this guy for past months. First when I heard it, I was in dilemma and wondering about it. So what I did is to ask my best friend to look it. So I got the opportunity when I was not around on that weekend and my son got a football game in the school. She told me that he starts at 8 am finish about 10.30 am. I ask my friend to pass my house and see what is going on. About 8.45 he called me and said that there is motorcycle inside the parking porch and noted the number bearing this guy’s number. Then I call her and she said that she is busy cleaning the house. From then on my heart really broken and wondering why must this happen to me! I lost my peace, sleep, lost appetite and feeling very angry about it.
Detach with love. Sometimes people are simply toxic by nature, a fact that often dawns on others around them only after time. Sometimes people refuse to take steps to make themselves feel better. As a result, sometimes you have to love them from a distance. This can be an intensely difficult decision, but sometimes it's the right one. Give yourself permission to entertain the thought and consider it seriously if consider it seriously you should.
It’s up to YOU to make you happy. You can’t rely upon anyone else to make you happy. You’re just setting yourself up for disappointment. Besides, it’s time to take responsibility for yourself. If you’re not happy with you, you’ll never be happy with a man. Take some time to focus on figuring out what makes you happy. A man can only add to your happiness. He can’t be the entire basis for your happiness.
There are times when I feel so miserable and powerless. He says all the right things when he’s himself. He will tell me I am beautiful, he loves me, his heart beats for me, and how he wants us to get past this area in life where we don’t agree on anything. I don’t think the problem is so much that we don’t agree as I do he won’t let that stand. He thinks if he talks to me long enough, whatever the issue, I will see it his way. When that doesn’t happen, he gets more angry. Then I am stupid, naive, and an idiot that can’t see past the end of my nose.
Close to 20 years of marriage this Nov. Afraid to let go and start over. Discovered text messages last year and uncovered his infidelity. He swears no physical relations, but I don’t believe him.Trust is gone, no romance. He likes to go out to dinner, but I find he only wants to go in our geographic area. We use to go to all parts of town for years. Keeps family info limited and now his friends as well. I feel I’m totally isolated from his world. Comes home every night, but we’re like room mates co-existing. Nothing in common. I feel I want to take my daughter and start a new life. I’m realizing that I think he’s preparing to leave me. He told me this weekend that I deserve to be happy and be with someone who enjoys what I like (church, museums,music, dancing).My life was raising the kids, caregiver for parent who passed away, working/going to school nights. Now Kids are 20 and 13. He’s not physically abusive gets moody, nasty attitude/comments and terrorizes the dog. Sneaks alcohol in beverages every evening. Light bulb has come on and I believe he too is unhappy. He’s comlacent and stinnnngy, I believe he would rather suffer than pay child support.
Having a solid communication is the key element of every relationship. Unfortunately, our true communication is often contained in that which is unspoken. We change communication for manipulation. Things like silent treatment or expecting others to read our minds can only be used for the purpose of torturing our partner and ourselves also. We were given words to communicate with, not crystal balls. And when we say something, we should really mean it and stand behind it. There’s no need for nagging. If you are consistent and keep your words and actions in alignment, if you take your own words seriously, that’s the way your husband’s gonna understand them too.
During that time I suspected many times that he was also seeing other women. I found snippits of evidence and I almost left him a few times but he always had an explanation for what I’d found and swore he was telling the truth. He would even get angry that I would accuse him. I told myself that even if there was no proof, next time there was even a whisper of something dodgy I would leave. Everything seemed ok for a couple of years so we got married. I thought I would be more secure with him once we got married, and then we had a baby and I started to feel even more like things were going right … until that familiar feeling that something was wrong returned … followed by a new secret password on his computer and a constantly locked shed. I KNEW something was wrong but I couldn’t find any evidence. When I demanded him to unlock the shed or remove the password he got furious and said that I was in the wrong to snoop. I remembered my vow to myself but now I had a son to think about.
You don’t necessarily need to leave him…maybe you just need a trial separation. Maybe you both need some time and space to figure out what you want your marriage to be like, and to decide if you can build a happy marriage together. Maybe the prospect of divorce is what your husband needs, to snap him out of his slump! And if he does have Asperger’s, maybe the thought of losing you will encourage him to get help.

This isn’t about divorce, and it’s not even about cheating. Not really. This is about understanding as a woman that while you are an important, main player in your marriage that the responsibility of your spouse’s happiness doesn’t rest solely on your shoulders. Only Jesus can heal hearts, and only He can fill an empty one. You can love your spouse, but you must also pray. And you don’t just pray for their relationship with you. You pray for their relationship with Him. 
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I don’t think you were getting it. These men ( not all men) have something going on but they will not accept there is a problem. Take it from me I am going through it. They only think of themselves and are nice to you when they want something. They say things that make you feel you have done something wrong and everything is your fault. I really think they believe their own shut. It just comes out and to them it’s real. But for someone not to be interested in helping theirselves to make a difference in their lives is crazy. Yes there may be people who’s personally changes due to illness and that shouldn’t be ignored. But I would say. If that person doesn’t want to seek help after a while the partner won’t be able to cope no matter how understanding they are
This is to “Am I Being Unrealistic?” I think you have been very strong. I don’t think you have to stay in this relationship and I don’t know how healthy it is for the children. As far as God is concerned, I know he doesn’t want us to be in a relationship where one is not being faithful. If it was me, I’d want out unless my spouse was willing to seek counseling. But that is me, I look at everything the way I think God would see it. I hope you can find peace. It sounds like your lifestyle is quite nice yet costing you a lot in more than one way. I wish you the best.
Wedding vows are nothing but a joke. There are no more “in good and bad times” or the “in good and bad health” anymore. I feel that being married is nothing but a complete joke from my perception and experience. I guess you have to be a really good sales person in order to have a good relationship today. Bottom line is that we are all made to be single thinking human beings in the first place. Yeah, it is a swell idea to meet someone…get married…spit out a couple of pups…work yourself to death…spend less and less time with each other…grow apart…stop communicating…goto a gosh forsaken counselor…and as a result…yeah.
This is probably one of the most obvious statement, but often the hardest to do. If there is something your husband does that drives you crazy, let him know, in a calm matter of fact way. Don't constantly be on his case for something. Especially something he can't immediately change. Nagging causes annoyance. Annoyance eventually causes resentment. Let him know why his actions are making you upset and annoying you. Being clear about what kind of behavior bothers you will help him be more accommodating and conscientious.
This is my story my husband is in prison doing 25 to life done 23 i knew him before prison Started writing him as i was married to someone else as a friend divorce writing him yet he asked me to marry him i didn’t answer several several months later married someone else divorce writing him yet i was scared first time asked can i do a marriage like that all that time i married him now7 years He has got very mean controling and disrespectful within last 6 months he has applied for sentence reduction which may come though for him He as done very well programs looks good for his second chance I am his only family basically with his attitudes its time i feel do i give up but i want it to work but he thinks its me not him he knows attitude help
I have been struggling in my relationship for seven months. I have been in this relationship for almost three years common law and we have a 1.5 year old daighter. We each have a six year old from previous relationships as well. I know I’m settling. He’s brought major financial problems on this home – thankfully we have nothing joint in our finances so it was all in his name- but then I still have to overcompensate on the bills to make HIS half ends meet. He’s proven to be a pathological liar, after this long he still doesn’t accept my six year old son as his own- even though I have fully bonded with his six year old daughter, so much that I have a friendship with his ex. He goes through cycles of atleast 3 days a month where he won’t talk to me not even to respond in small talk- like I don’t exist and he plays mind games this entire time. He’s ripped me off $4000 and now he’s drug himself so far down he can’t really even cover his bills. I’ve almost left multiple times ( actually he’d be the one leaving cause he can’t afford this home) but keep giving him ” one more chance”. I’m not sure if I’m delusional thinking maybe one day he’ll come to the end of himself and grow up and that things will get better. But I’m finding mySelf feeling more trapped and unhappy. 90% of what has kept me here is my daughter I have with him . What do I do? How do I kick someone out that has nothing? How do I avoid being manipulated into giving him another chance ? How do I protect myself from his vindictiveness after I do end it ? Please, any advice will do. Of course there are so many other details but there isn’t enough time or space.

No stress to look good all the time. You could stress out about how you look and let a man judge you for what you wear or what you look like without makeup. Or, you could say screw it and realize how happy you are wearing whatever the hell you want. Without a man, you could spend a week in the same clothes without a shower if you want. I don’t recommend that, but you get what I mean. You get to dress for you, not someone else.

We were married in 2007,its was an arranged marriage in India but settled in Melbourne, Australia.we had a baby this 2011 July. This March 2012 I discovered my husband has been seeing another woman. And then in a month I discovered that he was trying to bed more women when I was overseas with my lil son from Nov 2011 to Feb 2012.his call summaries had text and call logs at weird hours.one if them is still a mystery cos she has never told me wat hapned between them.
Make His Favorite Meal: Surprise him with his favorite meal, or if you are not the cooking type, take him to his favorite restaurant. The key here is to drop little hints and build his anticipation. That way his excitement will be high when you surprise him. Having his favorite food with his favorite person will make him happy, and he will be impressed at the thought and detail you put into it.
Confront your cheating spouse with evidence, i was able to spy on my cheating ex phone without finding out.....it really helped me during my divorce ...you can contact (CYBERHACKTON(@)GMAIL(.)COM) call and text (916) 302-2234 for spying and hacking social networks, school servers, icloud and much more, viber chats hack, Facebook messages and yahoo messenger, calls log and spy call recording, monitoring SMS text messages remotely, cell phone GPS location tracking, spy on Whats app Messages, his services are cheap.. and please tell him i referred you to him he is a man with a heart of GOLD.

Well i have a question and need some help. I just left my husband who i was married to for 3 years but all together 6 years. We have one child together, He is a great dad and great to me here is the problem he will not work he has had many jobs in the past but u know something always happens. Never has he once paid for me to eat or something really nice no rent light etc… i was just fed up with it he would get mad if i bought myself something new and did not get him anything. Now i feel like i am all alone just me and my child i take care of myself and have a o.k job but get paid . I pay all my bills myself never getting any help from my husband. I looked and really cannot find someone going through my same situation.
I have just asked my husband to move out. I yelled at him. I felt so mad lately, I just feel like no matter what he does, it just makes me mad. He can cook, clean, but he does them not the way I would do it. That sounds so petty. He does it until I get upset about something. Then he makes a halfhearted attempt. But I feel that if he doesn’t work, then he should be willing to do take care of the house. He hasn’t worked in 11 years. I have been the only one working. Before I use to do everything. I would cook, clean, go to work, everything. Lately I’m just so tired. I want him to go out and find a job and help in creating this home. I know he can do it, he just won’t do anything. I think part of that makes me so mad and I blow up over it for stupid little things. I’m home by myself now. And I feel so lonely. But I have to put up with it, because I was the one that told him to get out. I just have so much resentement. I’m hurt and I’m scared to be along. But I’m not going to ask him to come back. I am hoping that he would wake up and decide that he wants to go out and get a job. But I’m scared that I made a mess that he would never come back to me. At the same time, I feel I put us in that situation, by me doing everything at the beginning. He got use to it. All I know is that I am lonely and I miss him but not going to reach out.
Well ive been married for 4 years now I really dont know were or when things started to go wrong me and my wife have.a..two month old baby wich is the love of our lifes but little by little our marriage have been declining …she says am a lyer am tired of been called that my advice to the couples out there dont judge until u have.prove….I feel like I really should go out there and do me since am acused of doing it any ways….anyone with some advice
On the issue of why did it took so long.  One possibility could be that he has a one dimensional sense of humor.  I have a friend that I thought was hilarious when I first met him.  But over time I noticed it was the same jokes over and over again.  It started to become predictable and not so funny.  I guess it would kind of be like dating a guy that never graduated potty jokes.  Might be funny at first but starts getting old after a while.
My husband has been struggling for a while now. Probably a couple of years that I know of. I told him that if he needed to take some time away from his regular life to try and figure things out for himself, I would support him in that. Well....he thanked me and found a place to stay next month. Alone. He will still go to work, but be away from all other aspects of his routine home life.
Make His Favorite Meal: Surprise him with his favorite meal, or if you are not the cooking type, take him to his favorite restaurant. The key here is to drop little hints and build his anticipation. That way his excitement will be high when you surprise him. Having his favorite food with his favorite person will make him happy, and he will be impressed at the thought and detail you put into it.
Since last year i struggle to feel secure as he cheated on me and i couldn’t feel reassured… we fought lots in front of the kids. He is Bipolar 2 and 2 months ago he tried to commit suicide and i was by his side through everything… We still had issues afterwards because i felt this could have made a difference and made us grow closer but nothing. 2 weeks ago we had a big fight because he didn’t want to answer a question about money and again i’ve asked him a straight forward question where the money came from and he didn’t answer me, he just said from his account. I felt hurt because he used to blame me because of our finance.. i spend too much etc and that’s why at times he keeps money aside for me not to know..
"Spouses usually have a threshold for how much time they can tolerate away from their partner so when a husband starts spending more and more time and energy on work, they're devoting less time and energy to their marriage," she said. "Several of the unhappy husbands I've worked with spent increasing amounts of time on their career, networking or generally pursuing interests outside of their marriage and away from their family life."
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