Be the woman he knows sitting at home on the couch. This doesn't mean you need to belch in public or walk around in your sweatpants all the time. This just means you don't have to put up a front for the ladies in your child's class or act snotty in front of his friends. You are who he fell in love with, so you should never feel like you have to be someone else. Be respectful and courteous when you are both in public, but don't try to hide who you are. Having that strong sense of self and high levels of self-confidence are what made him attracted to you in the first place.
What’s happened as a result has been brilliant. I started tuning much more actively into my husband — prioritizing him, touching him regularly (holding his hand, sitting very close to him, hugging him, rubbing his shoulders, etc), more actively praising and appreciating him, and — crucially — not letting my ego get the best of me and not letting my need to be right lead to Armageddon. As a result, I have managed to bring out the best in my husband.
This may seem like an obvious statement, but very important. I'm not just saying have sex a couple of times a week. Be totally invested in the act as much as possible. Sex is a very important and essential act to men. Show him you love him by loving on him. Get into the act and set your insecurities aside. This is the man you said your vows to and are going to spend the rest of your life with. Explore each other's bodies and have fun. Try to initiate sex some of the time as that will spice things up and make your husband even more excited for some fun in bed.
I have been married for 51 years. I have 3 children and 4 beautiful grandsons. I have worked from the time I have been 5 and went in business for myself after quitting school at 16 and through through the years made a fine living and gave my family what I never had,spoiling them for the most part. When things changed was prior to having our children after marriage, by the way my wife and I courted for 3 years and never had sex. My wife is a very pretty women then and now at 68. I use to drink at times and that would cause to her to say I was drunk weather I had one drink or 10. My goal in life has always been to provide for my family and now to make sure that when I die my wife will be able to live without having to work, and that is place with a secure income not a lot but one she will live a decent life.
"Sharing bucket lists, and making them together, is a great way to get to know each other," Masini told INSIDER. "When your bucket lists are compatible, and you can see yourself supporting your partner's bucket list wishes, and you see them supporting yours, you're in a relationship that can go the distance. But, if you and your partner think each others' bucket list wishes are crazy and don't have a place in the relationship — then this isn't 'the one.'"
I have a regular full time job and have bills to pay. My children and I live with his mother and father and sister. He stopped communicating again. No texts, no calls. He didn’t even greeted me during our anniversary. He doesn’t want to receive/answer my call. My family got pity on me and they wanted me to come home. So, I decided to go home with my kids. He still doesn’t communicated with me or even ask how the kids are. I also think he has another woman there. I don’t want to go to him because I done begging and pleading our relationship will work. I am spent up, crying and asking why he is doing this to me. But I have decided to stop going after him and focus on the positive side. I don’t think our marriage will still work out and I am no longer hoping it will. I am still young, still 25 and maybe there is still a man out there who will truly love me.
My husbands job is going to ruin our marriage. He travels constantly and three weeks at a time, at the most. If you add all the weeks of his traveling, due to his job, he is gone approximately 5-6 months out of the year and that makes me very unhappy. Onthe other hand, even though he knows how I feel, he doesn’t seem to mind it at all and seems to be just fine with it. I actually think he likes the traveling part because he gets to see different parts of the United States and perhaps other parts of the world, in the near future. The sad part about it is that his previous job pays the same and he gets benefits as well….he just doesn’t travel and is home everyday from work. He doesn’t care how I feel or the fact that our 11 year old has a hard time with it as well. He does sound selfish in that regards and I don’t even feel as if its a marriage anymore. There is communication, but there isn’t understanding. I feel as if given the ultimatum, he would chose his job over family. To make matters worse, there is no trust. He cheated on me many times, over the Internet, and was thinking about meeting random ladies on dating websites for sex. This was a few years ago, so how am I supposed to trust him when he’s away? He says he isn’t cheating on me and that’s all in the past. But, I still can’t get over it and his business trips drive me crazy. My mind plays tricks on me and I’m just not happy. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do anymore. The love is gone. Everything is just gone. Nothing has been the same and I fear we’ll never get anything back….even after 13 years of marriage! I keep waiting and waiting and nothing changes.
Bring those things back or better yet, revamp them! If you liked doing something like having picnics, set aside a weekend for yourselves where you could go camping or rent out a little cabin. It can be just the two of you, in nature, and you can have fun rediscovering each other. You could also just set aside one evening every week as Date Night and do your best to think of something fun and a little different for each time!

MARRIAGE, THE WHYS THIS EVERTHING I CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHY MY HUSBAND A GREAT MAN A GREAT HUSBAND, A GREAT PARENT OVERALL HE WAS EVERYTHING TO ME… HE ONE DAY DECIDED TO LET ME KNOW HE WANTED A DIVORCE, I HONESTLY WAS VERY BLINDSIDED AND SHOCKED, I LOVE HIM IM IN LOVE WITH HIM AND HE WANTS OUT AS WELL AS HE WANTS TO THROW IT ALL AWAY, I ALWAYS BELEIVED I WAS GOING TO GROW OLD WITH MY HUSBAND I TOOK VOWS THAT ARE STILL SACRED TO ME WE RENEWED OUR VOWS I NEVER ONCE CHEATED ON HIM IM TRYING TO UNDERSTAND EACH DAY WHY THIS IS TRANSPIRING I BELEIVE HE HAS MADE UP HIS MIND ITS OVER AND THERE IS NO CHANCE HE HAS AN ALTERNATIVE PLAN I DONT EVEN BELEIVE HE EVER LOVED ME. I GIVE HIM HIS SPACE I STAY OUT OF HIS WAY WE STILL LIVE TOGETHER BUT I AM SURE THERES AN ALTERNATIVE SOMETHING ON HIS PART I AM MORE THAN WILLING TO WORK ALL THIS OUT HE WANTS NO PART OF IT ITS VERY HURTFUL AND SAD THERES NOTHING I CAN DO I TRIED TO SPEAK BOUT THE MARRIAGE HE STATES WE HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON AND HE WANTS OUT I BELEIVE OUR MARRIAGE WAS A PURE LIE TO ME FOR OVER 20 YEARS. I NEVER ONCE STOPPED LOVING HIM ALL I EVER WANTED WAS HIS ATTENTION AND AFFECTION AND LITTLE TIME FOR US. ANY SUGGESTIONS? OR IS IT OVER AND GO ON? PLEASE ADVISE I APPRECIATE AND WELCOME ALL ANSWERS THANK YOU SARA JOY


“My boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me days before my birthday,” says Mandy on 5 Healthy Ways to Cope When You Miss Him. “He said he is unhappy and that he’s not in love with me anymore. We moved to a new city to have a fresh start, cause last year he broke up with me for 3 months and we wanted to start over new. I still love him but I know I have to accept that he doesn’t want me anymore. My boyfriend was my life and I can’t even hate him. I can’t explain the feeling I have. I’m numb. I can’t believe it because I love my boyfriend so much. I don’t know why he doesn’t want me but I know I will have to survive.”
Even though it solves nothing, I have Google and read over a thousand things like this. Because I’m lost and pissed off at myself for being lost. We dated for a year and 3 month, and I thought “this is it, he is the one for me”. It’s been long distance and I was finally getting everything in order for me to move across the world so that we could be together. And then, the breakup. He doesn’t know what he wants, he’s not sure if he will always feel this way, and finally today, to give myself so sort of closure, I told him that if he truly doesn’t love me anymore: say it. He did. So now I’m here, broken hearted and confused. But also, empowered and excited for the future even though I can’t stop crying. I have no idea where life will lead me next and of course I’m sad because I still love him. But mostly, i am grieving for the fact that I really believed this man, who hurt me this bad, was going to be the person I’d spend my life with. I’ve written down why he was wrong for me and I’m carrying it with me everywhere I go. He was emotionally closed off. We had a poor sex life. He was half a world away most of the time. I have my life planned and I know what I want. It’s not him, it was never him and if I can remind myself that enough I know I’ll be okay in time. Stay strong ladies, we don’t deserve anyone who doesn’t see our worth.
If your formerly even-tempered partner has suddenly developed a short fuse, it’s time to take a hard look at the relationship. For one thing, venting their anger at you like this is not cool and needs to be addressed right away. But as for what it means within the relationship, life coach Kali Rogers told Bustle, "If you notice a shift in patience, that could be a sign your partner isn't happy with your compatibility,” adding, “Short fuses are common when people are unhappy in relationships, and [are] a way for your partner to get pent-up anger out."

My husband has been unfaithful. I learned last year that he was. He says he love me and want our marriage but, he is still with his mistress & denies it. We have never had locked phones. And I have never seen his phone down in a year. It’s always on him. He lies & the cheated has affected his company because of the lack of work. I have no clue what to do. He never shows me any different. Other that I don’t make him feel special, but I do anything he asked. Now I am at the last rope. We have 3 young children & i am searching for work incase of the worse. Does anyone have any advice. Plus he says he depressed. And need me, but it’s the same thing over & over.


Communicate with your boyfriend. If all the signs are there, direct communication is the only avenue. Ask him if he is happy. Sometimes his response to the question might be all you need. If he is sincerely confused you would ask him such a question, he is probably happy in the relationship. If he tells you he is happy and asks you why you think he isn't, take his concern as a positive response.

This is what has been happening with me. I’ve been married for a little over a year my soon to be ex has only talked twice about our relationship issues and this is only after she left twice and we worked everything out. But that’s the only time she has talked to me about our relationship. She was never willing to talk but those two times. We have had many issues that needed to be talked about but she refuses she calls me every thing in the book and belittles me she will text me saying all this but refuses to sit down and talk about our issues. Example of her getting mad: I would ask her a question she would reply saying you’re an idiot why would you ask that you’re stupid and it was a simple question like do you still want to go town this weekend. One other example I was making supper I was cutting an onion she say why you cutting that onion like that I say that’s how I was taught she say that’s stupid you’re a moron. I have spoiled her I helped with cooking cleaning laundry do all the yard work but nothing is ever good enough and one minute she is all good and the next she is pissed over stupid things. She has left again my question is should I just say screw it and justhave nothing to do with her?
My husband and I have known each other for 20 years, and been married for the past 8. We have two adorable children who we both cherish. Since having the kids though, 5 years ago, our marriage has become unbearable. My husband has been through serious issues which led to depression, and has to his own belief, now dealt with the issues. During the time of his issues, he had two incidents, at least that I know about, with other women, and over the past 8 years with his behaviour, my trust has been stripped away and I am left with no trust in him whatsoever. He now continues to tell me he wants the marriage and he is in love with me, but I find it hard to believe when after 2 years of trying to work things out, we are still no further along than when we hit rock bottom 2 years ago. He continues to be thoughtless, and my anger and emotions hit sky high every time he stuffs up. I know I should be forgiving, but I find it harder and harder these days. I have told him I hate him and that I want him out. I cannot ever see a loving future between us, and I hate the kids seeing me this way. Also our intimacy has completely gone out the window. We have not been intimate in almost 3 years. It’s so depressing. Although I want the marriage ended, I can’t help thinking “Would I be so angry and upset and emotional, if I no longer cared?” Any advice on whether I should give him a go for the thousandth time, or just cut my losses and run?
Also I have my children and don’t know how to explain to them about our marriage. But I am just not happy. I see other attractive men and am attracted to them. But have not cheated on my husband and I know he will never cheat on me. I just don’t know I also don’t feel amused by him I feel like a women should be proud of her partner and that’s just not my case. I take care of all the bills and problems of the house and feel like I have so much in my plate. We never go any where because there’s just no money ever. No vacation no nothing I think that has also taken a toll on me. I feel like am ready for something different. I cry every time after we have inter course just because I don’t feel anything I pretty much have to fake. And it hurts because this is not a life I want I feel and know that I have so much more ahead of me. But his low self esteem is what holds me back. Because he does love me but the feeling is not mutual.
When we had a big fight just this MArch, it was so hard to reconcile because of our situation. He was there and I am here. He doesn’t want to talk to me, or to my son. He doesn’t want to solve the problem! The situation stayed like that for almost a month. Without communication. Then he came home because he had an accident. I thought we would be make peace then. But he blamed the accident on me. He doesn’t want to connect with me anymore, though he said he would try. We had a big fight at home and he finally said that he doesn’t want to fight because the children will be affected. When I asked him if he still loves me, he said “I don’t know” and he was angry for making him answer that and he said he needed time. When his sick leave was over, he left again for work.

I got married to my teenage lover 9yrs ago.But I think I got married to him as there was no one else in my life at that time and I was very lonely. We were never intimate physically from the beginning. Never had sex more than few times in an year,never felt romantic with him.As years passed ,he got busy in his job and I was left to work,raise our daughter and house jobs.He does help me with house jobs and he is a good dad.But never had a husband wife relationship

He can’t just say that he feels miserable so he says things that can help you figure that out. Men tend to hide their feelings so they make snide remarks to show their dissatisfaction. Pay attention to those remarks. If you see he’s trying to tell you he’s not happy with you anymore, say it yourself. Women are braver than men, which is why we are usually the ones who break up with men.


My guess is that you feel betrayed by your husband because he may not have supported you in your complaints about how you were treated by his family. What is curious is that is your only complaint so far as I can see. In fact, I am only guessing at why you feel betrayed. Did he have an affair? has he been abusive? The reasons why you seem to fallen out of love with him are vague at best.
Sure, it would be nice every once in a while, but realize that men are wired differently than us. What we are thinking in our head that he should do is almost always not what he is going to do. Realize that all those romantic movies are most likely written by women. Don't let your expectations exceed your reality because you've been watching too many romantic comedies and reading too many books.

He told me during the "talk" that he is afraid to introduce anything new or spontaneous into our reltionship because he can't know how I will react. I might get angry or resent him for offering advice or being better at something than I am. I tried to tell him that he can't assume things like that, and to call me out when my reactio is unwarrented, but he shuts down and then feels guilty for bringing it up to begin with.


“Criticizing your partner is different than offering a critique or voicing a complaint,” writes Lisitsa on Recognizing Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling. “The latter two are about specific issues, whereas the former is an ad hominem attack: it is an attack on your husband at the core. In effect, you are dismantling his whole being when you criticize.”
Hi Henry, thanks for your thoughts. You asked: ” Where is the part about “happy husband” in this saying?” First, “happy wife, happy life” is an invention created to confuse you. It’s not true and it’s a unhealthy perspective for both parties. Therefore, there is no “happy husband” equivalent except for “Happy man, happy husband.” Relationships tends to self-destruct when one or the other partner puts the responsibility for their happiness on the other. It’s an impossible task, but we try anyway. “If you REALLY loved me you would find a way to make me happy”. Happiness is not given… Read more »
"Wife" and "independent woman " seems to be a contradiction BUT..anyway, one point is good to remember(just my opinion) is that if you're too proud (stephanie) or lazy to do these things, there is a woman somewhere watching and waiting. She do these things for him. She is at his job, church golf resort, gym. she's your best friend or even your relative. I think women have an instinctive way to tell that a man isn't being taken care of at home. Get rid of pride and take care of your man.
I’m just 10 months married now and I am already in a very diffuclt situation. In the beginning our marriage was so nice and problem free. Suddenly my husband changed. He became very religious and I can’t fallow him the way he wants me. I am always thinking of leaving him but I just can’t!! As soon as he is starting to leave me the only soloution I see is to commit suicide. I know what to do, I know what is best for me. But I just can’t do it! I am really so helpless
If you want to stop your husband from having an affair, you need to learn how to make him think of you always. This means you need to look for new ways to keep the passion and romance burning like wild fire. Make him to desire you always even when he is at work. Make him to even want you around him during lunch break and every time he is less busy.
i am in the exact same thing that you are ... i love him so much and i cant let him go ! i want to fight for us and stay together ! i have fought for so long and whats the point of giving up now ? we have been together for one year and five months i cant imagine losing him forever .. he means so much to me i dont know what to do ? any tips ?..... :''(
The other problem I'm currently having is trying to get my husband to explore what exactly is making him unhappy. I asked him to try to write things down or email them to me when they come to mind so that we can work on them. He replied that he told me all of that when he told me he was unhappy in the first place. I was listening to him then, but I was also in a little bit of shock, and can't remember everything he said. any suggestions on how to oppen him up to actively working out why he is unhappy?
Life’s about more than just finding a man. Life is this great journey and it’s not about finding a man. Some of us will find a man along the way and it’ll add to our happiness. Others will stay single and other things will make them just as happy. You can be happy with or without a man. It honestly doesn’t matter. As long as you’re being true to you, you’ll end up happy.

This is just a good standard practice in a relationship, and it’s great for nudging a loved one out of a slump. It involves really seeing them, the contributions they make, and highlighting them. If your partner works long hours and then takes on a lot of the work at home in the evenings so that you can pursue your passions, acknowledge them for that. If they’re giving of their time and patience with your family, let them know you notice that.


Is your marriage worth fighting for, or is it over? I don’t know the answer, but I do believe that you can save your marriage if you try. You can’t change your husband, and you can’t stop him from ending your relationship…but you can change how you respond to him. This doesn’t mean you let him walk all over you, or you force yourself to become someone you’re not.
I’ve been married for 18 years and I’m so broken hearted over the fact that I’ve fallen out of love with my husband. He is a good man in the sense that he doesn’t drink, smoke, gamble. I know he would never cheat on me. But his investment into our marriage is “in his words” financial. Provides everything I need and want. When I’ve mentioned it’s emotional that our marriage lacks, he finds it funny. I’ve been to counseling and I have tried to use the right words to express myself, I’ve tried to take the correct steps to fix myself. I’ve boiled it down to our marriage is physical but not emotional. And I don’t know how to keep going with such a huge missing piece. I almost worry that I’m just delusional and that a mans desire to make his wife emotionally happy is unreal. I’m exhausted and I’ve just given in and am going through the motions and it’s killing me to just accept this is life.
No stress to look good all the time. You could stress out about how you look and let a man judge you for what you wear or what you look like without makeup. Or, you could say screw it and realize how happy you are wearing whatever the hell you want. Without a man, you could spend a week in the same clothes without a shower if you want. I don’t recommend that, but you get what I mean. You get to dress for you, not someone else.

What about a spouse who suffers from depression and refuses to get the help he needs. A father of 3 young children who is saying hurtful things to his 4 year old son? He jumped out of our van with the kids inside because he didn’t want to have a discussion. He was on meds for 6 weeks in winter of 2010 and went off, saying the doc said to (she’s my doc too and we have spoken and she recommends meds for a year) I’ve given him a year to try to go on his own terms but with attacking our son verbally that has challenges from a premature birth I refuse to watch him destroy our childrens lives because of his unwillingness to get the help he needs. His parents are concerned about him as well. I’ve just ordered some self help books recommended by a psychologist friend. I have definately fallen out of love with him. This has been going on for 4 years, seems he sort of lost his mind when I became pregnant with twins. Any suggestions??? My doctor said often the non-depressed spouse has to leave or ask the spouse to leave before they will finally get help but often they still won’t get the help they need.
Wonderful, God-inspired words that speak straight to the heart of so many women including myself. Regardless of the state of your marriage, as women we are nurturers, ‘fixers’, and as you said, often carry the heavy burden of our husband’s happiness solely on our shoulders. When things don’t go as planned, it’s a hard pill to swallow. Thank you, Brie, for reminding us that this burden is not ours to carry. God instructs us to love, pray for and be a help-mate to our husbands. The rest is up to him…
Maybe you did not understand… My wife is talking to 3 of my ex’s girlfriends and one is when I was in my 20’s… I am 42 now and my wife 39… Why is she talking to them it is immature… I am a liar now and I hear this because of the ex’s and it’s sad for me… I left my wife Dec 2016 and it did hurt a lot cause I did truly love her… I could not deal with the talking about my ex’s each night etc… I was feeling so bad that I had to think about my health first… I am never right she is and nothing I do is ever right… So I had to leave that situation… Why are people this way and it seem like they can’t see it…
I’ve been in a relationship for 14 years and married for 5 of those years. We have 3 children we both adore and our priority. For the past 3 years I’d say our relationship has been a rollercoaster; we get a long great, we communicate, spend time together then something snaps; either because I didn’t do something, or did it wrong or did something I did but wasn’t suppose to do. He will get really angry and blame me for whatever it is. He thinks I am a mindreader. He goes thru this atleast 2x a year; this last time he said he had enough and was going to be moving out. I didn’t think he would because of the other times we would have fights like this in the past. Now he really left; I am so hurt and heartbroken. How do I accept this is the end? How can I carry on without him? He is the love of my life!
MARRIAGE, THE WHYS THIS EVERTHING I CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHY MY HUSBAND A GREAT MAN A GREAT HUSBAND, A GREAT PARENT OVERALL HE WAS EVERYTHING TO ME… HE ONE DAY DECIDED TO LET ME KNOW HE WANTED A DIVORCE, I HONESTLY WAS VERY BLINDSIDED AND SHOCKED, I LOVE HIM IM IN LOVE WITH HIM AND HE WANTS OUT AS WELL AS HE WANTS TO THROW IT ALL AWAY, I ALWAYS BELEIVED I WAS GOING TO GROW OLD WITH MY HUSBAND I TOOK VOWS THAT ARE STILL SACRED TO ME WE RENEWED OUR VOWS I NEVER ONCE CHEATED ON HIM IM TRYING TO UNDERSTAND EACH DAY WHY THIS IS TRANSPIRING I BELEIVE HE HAS MADE UP HIS MIND ITS OVER AND THERE IS NO CHANCE HE HAS AN ALTERNATIVE PLAN I DONT EVEN BELEIVE HE EVER LOVED ME. I GIVE HIM HIS SPACE I STAY OUT OF HIS WAY WE STILL LIVE TOGETHER BUT I AM SURE THERES AN ALTERNATIVE SOMETHING ON HIS PART I AM MORE THAN WILLING TO WORK ALL THIS OUT HE WANTS NO PART OF IT ITS VERY HURTFUL AND SAD THERES NOTHING I CAN DO I TRIED TO SPEAK BOUT THE MARRIAGE HE STATES WE HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON AND HE WANTS OUT I BELEIVE OUR MARRIAGE WAS A PURE LIE TO ME FOR OVER 20 YEARS. I NEVER ONCE STOPPED LOVING HIM ALL I EVER WANTED WAS HIS ATTENTION AND AFFECTION AND LITTLE TIME FOR US. ANY SUGGESTIONS? OR IS IT OVER AND GO ON? PLEASE ADVISE I APPRECIATE AND WELCOME ALL ANSWERS THANK YOU SARA JOY
Men hate complaining so they are better off saying nothing at all. Perhaps he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings or he hopes he’ll cope with his unhappiness alone. He keeps silent and looks thoughtful. Men tend to think over the current situation that bothers their mind. You may ask what`s going on but I bet he`ll not answer. Give him some time to put his thoughts in order and handle his problems on his own.
Hello my friend. It seems that social skills seem to be a problem with many people. I used to have those problems. The truth is that they are truly “skills”. You have to build confidence around approaching others and general conversation. This can be done with a simple excersise: next time you go on the street, say hello to every person that you see. It may be nerve racking at first, but after a while, it will ease your overall anxiety around approaching people. I highly recommend reading “how to win friends and influence people by dale Carnegie” if you… Read more »
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