I have to agree with John — he brings up a good point. How did it take OP over a year to figure out that her boyfriend isn’t as funny as she’d like him to be? Why was unfunny okay for a year and is suddenly a deal-breaker now? Either way, like a few people said above, when in doubt, don’t. If, for whatever reason, OP is having doubts about her future with the guy, then maybe they don’t have a future. It’s just that, “he’s not funny” sounds like an excuse in this particular case.
There are few things like knowing that the person you're with just wants to be with you. When you feel solid and reassured by the level of love and communication in your relationship. There's no worry or stress about getting ghosted or cheating and your only worry about your partner is whether or not they've noticed that you're actively building and expanding your wedding board on Pinterest.
Wonderful, God-inspired words that speak straight to the heart of so many women including myself. Regardless of the state of your marriage, as women we are nurturers, ‘fixers’, and as you said, often carry the heavy burden of our husband’s happiness solely on our shoulders. When things don’t go as planned, it’s a hard pill to swallow. Thank you, Brie, for reminding us that this burden is not ours to carry. God instructs us to love, pray for and be a help-mate to our husbands. The rest is up to him…
My husband of 9 years cheated on me. He says he doesn’t want to loose me and loves me, but has feelings for the other person. He ended it with her,but she keeps texting him. He says he needs time to get over the affair, but he is didstant from him. I want to work it out with him, he says he does too. How long should I wait for him to get over his feelings for her? Is the marriage saveable if he loves 2 people?
I decided to take revenge on my wife by having an affair - hypocritically, as I'd claimed the high ground in previous rows about the infidelity she had been involved in. This was exciting and restored some of my confidence briefly. It was a horrendous mistake by me for all concerned. It damaged the person I had an affair with emotionally, it damaged me and it damaged both my wife and the relationship.
me and my husband got married in 2010, after we met in 2009 we got engaged pretty fast but he was the perfect guy he did everything then he changed after a couple months, I try to be the perfect wife but I find myself sometimes paying all the bills all the house work and my daughter the outside work.he become insensitive and says disrepectful comments bout me to my kids.a woman emailed me over facebook and called me and a few months later my kids found out he was talking to another woman and I told him about it he said he wasnt then a few months later I find pics and sexual texts from his ex now he says he’ll change but hasnt an continues to talk to ex and be disrespectful I want to be with him but from what i understand he’s been lik this with every woman he’s been with I continually forgive him in hopes he’ll change for me lik I for him. I dont kno what to do. Should I leave him??
Men hate complaining so they are better off saying nothing at all. Perhaps he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings or he hopes he’ll cope with his unhappiness alone. He keeps silent and looks thoughtful. Men tend to think over the current situation that bothers their mind. You may ask what`s going on but I bet he`ll not answer. Give him some time to put his thoughts in order and handle his problems on his own.
So ladies my point is this: Sometimes when your man seems distant or unusually emotionally unavailable, it’s NOT necessarily because he cheated on you, he’s falling out of love with you or because he’s upset with you. Sometimes, it’s because he’s just going through some bullsh*t that has him unhappy with HIMSELF. So before you just begin attacking him for not giving you the attention and love you want, you might want to check to see if there’s any serious issues HE’S dealing with right now. The truth is, a man can’t fully LOVE you, if he doesn’t completely LOVE himself.
A sign that your husband is unhappy is if he shuts down and doesn't seem to care about anything. If in the past the two of you used to argue about something, but now all he does is shrug and say "whatever," this could be a sign that he has given up and no longer feels emotionally invested in the marriage. Going hand in hand with this is that your husband might appear to have no life left in his eyes or spirit in his voice.
And yet, if a man sees that something is very important to you, he will make an effort to listen to you attentively, even if this topic is completely uninteresting to him. When he loves you, he won’t leave you without attention. But if he keeps changing the topic or runs away using different excuses whenever you try to talk, most likely, your worries do not bother him. Accordingly, he is not going to participate in the resolution of any issues that may come up during the relationship.
If your husband's behavior is the reason behind your unhappiness, talk about it in terms of how it affects you rather than placing blame. One effective way to do this is through "I" statements. For instance, you say to your husband, "I feel lonely when you stay out late every night." This may help your husband see things from your perspective. In contrast, if you say something like, "You're so selfish for staying out all the time," your husband may feel attacked and be less receptive to your concerns.
If you want to stop your husband from having an affair and save your family finance, you must learn how to break your husband's wrong associations in a wise and smart manner. One main thing that can make your husband to have an affair and cheat on you is the kind of friends he keeps. Spend time to study his friends. Find out their values, and if they do not measure up, go down in prayers to God to sever the relationships. Do not feel you can separate them from your husband by nagging, complaining, fighting or condemning your husband or his friends. You can successfully achieve this through wisdom, the right techniques, patience and prayers. Remember, your husband is an adult, you cannot choose his friends for him. I will show you a powerful eBook that will help you to win your husband to yourself.
alot of things have happend between us. He wanted a threesome i did it for him to make our marriage more exciting, i slept with another guy because he wanted me too, and in the end he went and told everybody i was messing around and did not tell them the truth why i did it. He beat me up so bad when friends of our asked if my husband will impreganate them, as the male friend could not have kids and they bady wanted children, we agreed then my husband and “girl friend” said on one condition that her husband and i have to sleep together that aswell then we cant hold anuthing against each other. after all said and done we did, only to find out they said they could not go through it. i was beaten black and blue my eyes were beaten shut! he punished me and i had to have sex with him for his forgiveness.
I have been married to my wife for 22 years this year. She and I have had a very up and down life together. she told me when we got married she wanted to stay home and raise children. I agreed. Now we have a 17 year old and a 9 year old. She has never had to work, and my job has been high stress and full of disappointments as I have strived to make enough for us to have the lifestyle we both say we want. I have been wrongfully terminated three times (proven in court). I have really struggled to rebuild my career but being in a public position has been very strenuous. As a longtime CEO and now private consultant in the public sector for the past 6 years my economic stress has been huge. I gained a 100 pounds over the years. So in 1999, my wife had an affair with a man, while I was working on the road to make enough money to take care of my family and find a way for us to relocate together. I was devastated. We did go to marriage counseling and our marriage survived this very hurtful situation. I found out she blamed me for the affair, saying our life had taken a toll on our emotionally and she thought she needed to jump ship to find economic security. I relocated us and then again to another state. So we reconnected and had our next little one. Now we have a second home in a well known lake community about 2 hours from our home. She over the past three to four years has taken to going there on her own because she is on a local talk show and says doing that gives her purpose and makes her happy. I usually have to stay behind and work and take care of the kids when she goes there. She gets no pay for the show, it is quite popular and she goes out usually when she is there with her local girlfriends some married, some divorced and some just barfly’s in their late 40’s looking to hook up and be told their sexy. She has gotten into several situations where either a friend has texted me seeing her out with the girls and other men and been suspicious and so on. I have told her repeatedly if you put yourself in these situations sooner or later something bad will happen that will affect us negatively. She thinks I don’t trust her and she loves to dance and have fun. She thinks I am being overly paranoid. She also says she has not been attracted to me because of my weight and that is what has been keeping us apart and less than intimate. She says she loves sex and she is always used to being the center of attention, she is still in great shape and gorgeous even at 49. She gets hit on all the time by men and she seems to enjoy the third party attention and affirmation of her sex appeal still. So then 6 months ago I find out she has been having another cyber affair over facebook and she hooked up with this guy in our lake town to have dinner and chat… she says nothing happened. He is the brother of one of her closets friends who comes over every week to have dinner with us as she just got divorced herself. Our two sons are friends and play baseball together. So I confronted her about all this and she just said, It was stupid I don’t want out of our marriage and she says she ended it. I even found a card he sent her where he said, he felt their meeting had brought them to a new level in their relationship. So I went on a diet and have lost about 50 pounds thus far. Things seemed better, then she went over to the lake house this past weekend with a married girlfriend that was visiting from out of town, who has been her friend since childhood. They went to the bar with the girls, my wife got so drunk she couldn’t drive and was talking to some 20 something man for a longtime and being very confrontational. She drinks at least a couple glasses of wine per day she says it keeps her sane in my high stress and uncertain world of finances. I got behind on our taxes after 2008 and dug a big hole and have been negotiating with the IRS to find a way to settle them. Being self-employed is hard to keep them current and pay for everything. Everytime I confront her about how her going out makes me feel really insecure she just says I am holding onto the past and that I think she is a whore and/or slut, and she has done nothing wrong. I wish I could believe her, but I just can’t get 100% comfortable with this lifestyle or trusting her again. She has broken my heart now two times. Somehow I still love her. I love our family and I don’t want to break it up. But this is killing me and she always places the blame on me for all circumstances and then says this is what gets her stressed out. I am just lost. I don’t know what I should do, or how I can get our relationship back on track or whether she really wants to do so. Everytime we fight she says after our son graduates we are over. That just makes my heart sink… then later she will come back and say, I was just mad, I didn’t mean it. I don’t want our marriage to end. But it happens again always and it did last night as well. This time I just said, “You created this situation, I am not willing to accept the blame for it, and I can see our attorney next week and end this if that is what you want?” Then she says I threatened to divorce her and it is my fault again. I can’t get her words out of my mind I am fat, she is not attracted to her and when we are intimate she has to hold her breath or she says I nearly crush her until she can’t breath. Now I am a big guy. 6’3″ and 280 pounds still and most women find me attractive. Even her girlfriends say they would kill to have her life. Many of them have told me that they think she is crazy to not be truly happy she has a kind, loving and caring man in her life that treats her like a queen and never berates her, or abuses her mentally or physically. I try to make everything our family needs come true… I work really hard, but I also attract a great deal of public detractors due to my public life by way of bloggers and web postings. I am a public speaker, author and public sector consultant engaged in negotiating deals between local governments and businesses that want to expand or relocate to a new area and create jobs. I have been doing this for 22 years since we first married. I don’t have any other knowledge of how to make enough to pay our bills. I feel trapped, confused and don’t know if my marriage is salvageable and/or whether I should keep trying. I have suggested that we go to a counselor again, but she says no, that is not what she needs. So, long story but I am totally at a loss for what direction I should choose.
IVE BEEN MARRIED FOR SIX YEARS NOW AND ALL THROUGH THIS TIME MY HUSBAND HAS A MARRIED FEMALE FRIEND WITH WHOM HE KEEPS RUNNING TO HE TELLS HER EVERY THING THAT IS GOING OFF IN OUT MARRAIGE HE HAS TOOK HER SIDE ALL THE TIME WHEN WE ARGUE AND SAY THAT IF HE HAS TO MAKE A CHOICE HE WILL CHOOSE HER EVERY TIME ,I SPEND ALL MY TIME SAT IN SPARE ROOM WIL MY COMPUTER WHEN HE IN THE HOME AS HE SCARES ME ,HE HAS HIT ME AND MADE ME BLACK AND BLUE IM NOW SIXTY AND FEEL THAT I CAN NOT FIGHT FOR HIS AFFECTIONS ANY MORE I WANT IT TO ALL END BUT HE CAN OR WONT ACKNOWLEGE THIS IT IS MY HOUSE AND IM MADE TO FEEL LIKE A LODGER IN IT EACH TIME I TELL HIM ITS OVER HE GIVES ME THE LITTLE BOY LOST THEN I START FEELING GUILTY PLUS HIS FAMILY START BECOMING ABUSIVE WITH ME HIS MOTHER INCLUDE HOW DO I GET OUT OFF THIS ONE AS THERE WILL ALWAYS BE THREE PEOPLE IN THIS MARRIAGE
The feeling of being head over heels in love is powerful. So powerful, in fact, many couples forget that being married, or at least having a successful marriage, goes beyond just being in love. Klapow explains that men often don't realize marriage isn't an addition to their life, but really a call to change their life. "This takes a while but sets in hard — that marriage means your life changes," he said. "Men have a hard time accepting this."