This same approach should be applied to the other things he does that may bother you from time to time. Don't get hung up about things, and if he does something that you really dislike, just let him know. Holding on to little things and petty grudges is not a good idea for you or your husband. Many of the little annoyances you may have you will forget about in a few weeks anyway, so it is not worth it to get upset over them.
A suitable response would be something like: “well, it’s hurtful to hear you say this but I’m so glad that you are being honest with me so that I can address it. Can you share with me why you are unhappy so that I can decide how to make the appropriate changes? I want for you to be fulfilled so that we can be happy together. And I know that you love me, so let’s work together so that we are both genuinely happy in this marriage.”
Develop the habit of solving problems in your marriage - financial problems, family problems, emotional problems, sexual problems, business problems and you will be able to stop your husband from cheating. See your husband's cheating as an opportunity to grow the marriage. See it as a challenge to modify your attitude and behavior positively. Change if you must, modify the way you handle your marriage, discard old philosophy that is not giving you the right results in your marriage for new ones. The moment you are able to change yourself, your husband and everything else in your marriage will change. You will be able to stop your husband's cheating without a fight. Take this to heart and change yourself and everything else will change. Try it.
In addition to focusing on what is making you unhappy, let your husband know what would make you feel better. For example, if you miss spending time with your girlfriends, tell your husband that a monthly girl's night out would make you happy. Likewise, letting your husband know what you need from him, such as thank yous, affection or time alone can give you a starting point to fix your unhappiness. You may need to take time to list the things you need to make yourself happy before talking to your husband, or you may find yourself stuck during the conversation.
I’ve married to my husband for 1 1/2 years and together for 5. I’m 25 but feel 70. I have 3 young babies with him. He’s not a bad father but not such a good husband. All we do is argue, he mismanages all of our money. Sometimes we barely pay the bills. We started a small business together so we share the money but somehow he spends it all. We can never communicate. We never resolve any of our problems because we just argue until were tired. I’m never in the mood to be intimate but I force myself so I won’t have to hear his mouth. I’ve tried new things with him sexually but every time I try something new the next day it’s some other weird stuff. He wants to do a lot for someone who doesn’t make me feel “special”. He didn’t get me anything for my birthday. We barely go anywhere and when he does do something it just feels like he’s prepping me for sex later instead of doing it because he cares for me. I don’t feel any sparks just stress. I know neither one of us are truly happy. I try to just hold it in and hope things get better but he irritates me so bad with his need to debate all the time. I’ve tried multiple approaches to fix our problems but I only get 2 results, 1.he gets angry and we argue 2. He plays the victim. I don’t know what to do.
There have been times that I have just cried while we were having sex because I felt cheap. It seemed like I felt guilty, almost like cheating on myself. I hope that makes sense. Then last night, I just felt nothing during sex. I can’t make myself get into it. I did that for awhile, I was able to make myself get into the physical part of it, but I can’t do the staring longingly thing anymore. I don’t feel it anymore.
My marriage has had lots of ups and downs, my husband and I seem not to be able to understand each other, at times we fight over things that blow out into huge fights. We aren’t capable of communicating in a good way, he will reproach me that i am not direct and getting angry for nothing while i tell him that he isn’t doing his fair share in the conflict cause he turns his back and leave.. I take it as an offense because he is ignoring me..
I remember when my ex-husband came home from work and stated seriously, “we need to talk.” I wasn’t expecting the conversation that followed, and later as I sat alone crying I wondered what I had done, and also what hadn’t I done right. I racked my brain trying to pinpoint the cause of his words that rang in my ears. His words of, “I’m not happy anymore.”
Mark, I feel that you have written here with the best of intentions, but you are wasting your energy on talking about married couples and their subsequent divorce, rather than people who are not yet married. Hopefully the married couples can work things out. Hopefully the divorce doesn't suck too much life out of the family. We all get that. You must use your academic background to start promoting an end to the practice of marriage for non religious people, who have not yet made the mistake of marrying. It is a shame that with all of your knowledge you have not yet begun to actively promote an end to marriage for the non religious. It is a useless and too often destructive institution that must be ended as soon as possible. It leaves good, hard working men at the mercy of corrupt family court systems and the she-devils who have come to dominate the feminine side of our culture. They lose everything. There is no greater pain than for a parent to lose a child, and this is what is happening to men all over the country. Get your priorities straight as soon as possible. Ending marriage for the non religious must become your focus.
The question of how to make your husband happy obviously isn't an easy one to answer. It's going to differ from person to person. You need to begin by trying to determine what it is that is at the root of his sadness. Obviously talking with him is the route to take but you need to be mindful of how you approach this subject. Simply sitting down with your spouse and asking him point blank why he's sad, isn't the best way. He'll likely tell you that he's fine and won't share anything with you. The reason men do this is quite simple. They don't like emotional confrontations and if part of their discontent is connected to you, they know that you'll react strongly. That's why you need to be more approachable, and understanding when it comes to sharing feelings. Show your husband that you want to be accepting and helpful. When he does share small details about his day with you, don't take offense if they involve you. Listen attentively and then tell him that you're grateful he was so honest and that you want to learn from your mistakes.
My husband suggested that I start spending more time alone with God. So I did. At first, I found it hard to pray. I found that I lost focus easily and my thoughts wandered. But after a while I started just talking out loud to keep myself awake. I started journaling my thoughts and prayers, and reading Bible stories in the Gospels. And I found myself in the story of Mary and Martha. I realized that I was Martha, scurrying around, trying to make sure things were perfect for everyone else, when God really just wanted me to focus on being Mary.
Thanks to Prophet Abuvia because He is great. He has done so much for me. A few months ago my wife left me for another man. I was so depressed I was even admitted in hospital. Then for some reason I was searching for divorce lawyers and to my surprise I ended up on the prophet abuvia website (prophetabuviasolutiontemple. webs. com). I started reading his works and testimonies and I was so encouraged to fight for my marriage through his power and work. There were times were I lost hope,thinking of giving up but He reminds me to never lose hope. Isaiah 41:10. Today I can say my marriage has been restored. We happy and playing every day and she is happier than before. if you are having such or any kind of problem, you can also contact prophet abuvia on his email prophet.abuvia AT gmail DOT com
i want to share a brief testimony of my story online for other readers like me to find who are also in the same situation i was before, meeting dr alexzander. my wife broke up with me and i read a article concerning this great man. then decided to try it out. i contacted him and all of my problem was no more. i have come to return all of my thanks to dr alexzander for saving my relationship and also to let the whole world know about him and his good deeds. contact him through this email alexzander high temple at gmail or browse him through his name alexzander high temple
This sounds just like everyone else, things were good, then changed to bad…He doesn’t cheat on me, or hang out with his friends too much – as a matter of fact he stays right here almost 24 hours a day. We have 3 kids, which is why I haven’t left to date. If we were to split up he would move back near his family which is 8 hours away – a little hard for my kids.
I am a doer, not a talker, and I will not sit by and be part of a train wreck that I can clearly see, whether it is mental or physical. If I have a boyfriend who has cancer, and he will not seek help, I will not stand by for X number of months or years in anguish just to go down with him. If he is going to doctors, getting treatments, I would stand by him and hold his hand on his deathbed. None of the posters said anything about abandoning anyone. I would stay with my Asperger man and help him navigate through this, if he wanted the help! What I will not do is stand there and be collateral damage.
The best general advice I have is to learn how to let go of your husband. This doesn’t necessarily mean separation or divorce — though it could! More, it means getting yourself strong and healthy. Letting go means taking good care of yourself, so you can see what the next step is. Letting go is about getting strong so you can do what you need to do.
I’m sorry. I did misunderstand. I thought it was three exwives. I know you pain…I just gave up on my husband love more than life today. Our spouses have OCPD obsessive Compulsive Personalty Disorder which is not the same as OCD. Read about it. It was not till I read about it that I understood. I can do nothing right…I never have. I make twice his salary and take care of monetary things more so than he does. He bitched, groans,complains, cuts be down, I can do nothing right, clean nothing right, he dominates every minute of my time when he is here and when he isn’t here. Leaves me lists of work to do to keep me busy on my off days and I work 50 hours per week…I’m exhausted with him and it’s taking scroll on my health. The rants, fits and rage…I just can’t take…I gave up today and told him I wanted a divorce..I just wanna die
Hello everyone my name is Grace Richman from USA,Am writing this article to appreciate the good work of DR IGBA that helped me recently to bring back my husband that left me for another woman for no reason for the past 3 years. After seeing a post of a woman on the internet testifying of how she was helped by DR IGBA . I also decided to contact him for help because all i wanted was for me to get my husband , happiness and to make sure that my child grows up with his father. Am happy today that Dr IGBA helped me and i can proudly say that my husband is now with me again and he is now in love with me like never before. Are you in need of any help in your relationship like getting back your man, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, winning of lotteries, herbal cure for sickness or job promotion E.T.C. Viewers reading my post that needs the help of DR IGBA should contact him now on his E-mail: email@example.com ...
My husband and I have been going through a rough time lately, and I dont know how much longer I can hand in there and keep trying. We have three beautiful girls, including a lovely 8 month old baby. Throughout our marriage we have had rough patches. He used to be destructive, and kick or hit things and dent or break them. While i was pregnant this last time he seemed to be very good, and we seemed to be getting along well. Then, a month or two after she was born he started getting very irritable a lot. Honesty has been a major issue as it is very important to me, and i have caught him in many lies. Mostly regarding him chewing tobacco. I am against it as he leaves spitters around, and my oldest accidentally drank one, and since them it is no more. Therefore he has been lying about it. We also have not been intimate very often,and it only happens, so he will stop asking and leave me alone. I get very frustrated as it seems that is all he wants is a physical relationship. He is either grabbing me in front of my kids, which makes me mad, or always suggesting it. Where I would rather talk ,and build more of an emotional connection, all he wants is a physical one. He is easily angered, and yells and swears a lot as well. I just dont know how long someone really has to keep trying, but i dont want to look back, and say I should have tried harder. Please give some advice. We have tried marriage counceling before, but he is not big on communication, criticism, or flexibility.
When someone's no longer taking their relationship seriously, they're more likely to drop all the responsibility that comes with it. So no, you're not crazy for worrying about your partner's sudden lack of accountability. "If your partner starts breaking promises or does not keep their word and does not seem to offer you more than a simple, 'I’m sorry,' this is a sign that they may not be happy in your relationship because they stop caring about how you feel," Rappoport says.
Hi i dont really know what to say but im in a problem where i have being married for the past 5 years and got 2 baby boys . My hubby at first was happy and things and all of a sudden things changed and from the begining of 2018 my hubby started taking drugs i mean have drugs coz each time he gets paid he resorts to drugs and when i confront him he doesnt give me answers but instead he blames me for everything , tells me that i got someone else etc. And this really hurts me alot because i love my hubby only and no one else ill do anything for my hubby but by the way my hubby talks to me , it really really hurts me . Can anyone i mean anyone help me ? Coz i dont want to lose my hubby his the father of my kids n we love him alot
After almost 7 years on and off and 2 kids later I find myself being told I’m not wanted anymore not in love with. I’ll be the first to admit our relationship was very rocky we started off inseparable every moment we wanted to be around each other I became pregnant with our son 9 months in and then I saw a change in my partner he was fighting a drug addiction to synthetic marijuana,we began to crumble fighting physically,verbally all the time. By the time he was able to kick his drug addiction he had completed 6 months In jail and at this time I have another child our beautiful daughter and had been struggling to make ends meet with out him I danced to provide for myself him and 4 children. through all this I lost custody of my children due to family violence between us two right before he was incarcerated. I lost myself and quickly spiraled out of control of my life. Around the same time I found out my partner was never faithful during the time we were together even at times turning to Craigslist. To say the least I’m still shocked. While he was gone I too turned to other men and decided to be honest with the father of my kids probably the worst thing I did,it cost me my trust no matter how bad of things so many times he cheated nothing could compare to me doing it. When he got out we gave it another try both agreeing to forget the past. He never kept his word everyday it was thrown in my face somehow so I seeked happiness in another man for 2+ years in the mix of us not being together he hears about me and at the time boyfriend being at a local fast food joint and aggressively shows up trying to fight and throws me in a car shortly after the father of my kids house is shot at about 30 times by the grace of God no one was hurt. I’m blamed for that happening when I had nothing to do with it that’s one of the reasons he claims he doesnt want me anymore. Needless to say we separated and got back together continuously. We recently moved into a fresh start apartment just the two of us where we both agreed once again to forget the past because we “love” eachother and finally pick up and be happy. I did everything to try and make us work but he says ” karmas a bi $#@ and he can’t forgive me,he no longer loves me and doesn’t want me” I live with him because I have no family/friends or anywhere to go. I know he hates that I’m here but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t heartbroken I love this man he is my only family,friend and Person I want to be with. I don’t know what to do. Fight for my heart or Let go
"Many people in relationships make the mistake of giving up their past friends to focus solely on couple time. However, doing everything together can create staleness in the relationship and is a great recipe for both partners to get sick of each other. To be happy, you both need to make time for your separate friends, even if it's just a couple of days a month." —Jonathan Bennett, certified counselor and relationship coach with The Popular Man
"Sex can be a major source of unhappiness in a marriage. Married folks often make the mistake of having sex only in bed in their bedroom, which turns it into a very routine and monotonous act. They can also often blame each other for being different in bed. But I find that different sexual personalities make the best couples. Instead of getting frustrated, they need to put things in perspective and work together to find a solution that makes them both happy." —Svetlana Kogan, M.D.
It's normal for the intense of excitement of a new relationship to wane over time. But that doesn't mean your partner should be apathetic towards you. As Bizzoco says, "It [might] seem as if getting to see you or be with you has little importance to them." You might also notice a little less excitement in their eyes, and it can hurt. So be sure to speak up.
Hello my friend. It seems that social skills seem to be a problem with many people. I used to have those problems. The truth is that they are truly “skills”. You have to build confidence around approaching others and general conversation. This can be done with a simple excersise: next time you go on the street, say hello to every person that you see. It may be nerve racking at first, but after a while, it will ease your overall anxiety around approaching people. I highly recommend reading “how to win friends and influence people by dale Carnegie” if you… Read more »
The language of love consists of tender words, touches, hugs, and kisses. When we call a partner things like “sweetheart,” “darling,” or “dear,” we create a special intimate atmosphere. The choice of affectionate names occurs unconsciously and shows how one partner relates to the other, who dominates the relationship, and how well they are balanced.
If you really want to keep your boyfriend happy, keep your word. Just as we like men to do what they say, they like us to do so too. Call when you say you will, show up on time, and don’t stand him up. If you blow him off or forget to follow through with things, it will make you look like you don’t care and make you look irresponsible, because all he has to go by is your actions.
I really want to make our marriage work and i’m doing and will do all it takes to save it.My wife in the meantime is saying that she wants to move out to get her peace of mind & sanity back,she says she wants to do away with all the negatives she has in her mind about me and says i’m irreplaceable.I found out that she told the other man via msg that she is counting her days & looking forward to spending her life with him.
I’m glad to see how marriage has evolved. It used to be much more transactional — happening principally to foster economic benefits or social standings or to produce children — but nowadays people typically choose to commit themselves legally to each other for far more noble goals. More and more people marry with the intention of experiencing lasting love and companionship.
My husband has cheated on more than 5 times since we got married3 years. He even done it while I was sick in the hospital due to our first child.These were not one night stand type of thing. He had emotional affairs(as far as I know, I highly suspected that he was also intimate with at least two women). Each affair lasted at least for 3 months. I have attempted to leave the marriage several times, but each time, my family and friends mediated us( I’m from a tradition were divorce is highly discouraged). Our last fight was November,2011.He denied the affairs each time and made me look like I was paranoid. He is always dismissing the situation and it’s always the same answer: were are “just friends” ,nothing is going on, “it’s not what it seems”. The ladies are all his coworkers…he is a contractor so he takes a new contract every few months and that’s when he starts the affair. He met the current woman he is talking to February,2012. I suspected he was at it again but I was afraid of finding out about it so I was avoiding it till yesterday, when he handed me his cellphone to check he’s new apps. I check his email and my worse nightmare come to life! He has been communicating with this lady at least 20 times a day! Note: She was let go of the company last week and he was still communicating with her, he even told her that he had a dream of her and asked her how she was doing.
"Children add a lot of positives to a person's life, but they can also add a lot stress, including decreased intimacy in the relationship. When children come first, the loss of the marital relationship can be very painful. It isn't easy to maintain that happy physical and emotional connection to your partner when there are baths needing to happen, meals needing to be cooked, and toys needing to be picked up." —Hershenson
I have just asked my husband to move out. I yelled at him. I felt so mad lately, I just feel like no matter what he does, it just makes me mad. He can cook, clean, but he does them not the way I would do it. That sounds so petty. He does it until I get upset about something. Then he makes a halfhearted attempt. But I feel that if he doesn’t work, then he should be willing to do take care of the house. He hasn’t worked in 11 years. I have been the only one working. Before I use to do everything. I would cook, clean, go to work, everything. Lately I’m just so tired. I want him to go out and find a job and help in creating this home. I know he can do it, he just won’t do anything. I think part of that makes me so mad and I blow up over it for stupid little things. I’m home by myself now. And I feel so lonely. But I have to put up with it, because I was the one that told him to get out. I just have so much resentement. I’m hurt and I’m scared to be along. But I’m not going to ask him to come back. I am hoping that he would wake up and decide that he wants to go out and get a job. But I’m scared that I made a mess that he would never come back to me. At the same time, I feel I put us in that situation, by me doing everything at the beginning. He got use to it. All I know is that I am lonely and I miss him but not going to reach out.
hi everyone i am so grateful, appreciate, and thankful to each and edveryone of you… we are all victims yets we will conquer and be survivors each and averyday is a new day a new dream a new hope a new anything live for yourselves… they do not know what they are losing… they do not know if thety are coming or going good riddens im sure this is so much better out ther greener on the otherside lol DONT THINK SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good day everybody my name is Mrs Caroline Gilli am here to share with you my life experience on how a great man called Dr Alexzander saved me and my marriage.I have been Married & Barren for for 5 years i had no child. i have never been pregnant i was a subject of laughter from my Friends & neighbors, i almost lost my marriage because of this issue.i was so confused that i did not know what to do until i came across this great Dr online and i contacted him at once i was scared weather it was going to work because i never believed things like this before, so i decided to give it a try and i did all what Dr Alexzander asked of me and today to my greatest surprise i took in the first time and i gave birth to a bouncing baby boy and now my marriage that was about crashing before is now restored.my husband now love and want me better, Am so happy for everything that have been happening in my life since i met this Dr Alexzander.
Are these rules and changes familiar to you? Is his parents’ marriage like this? Did something change in his life short after your wedding? Honestly, have you seen any sign of these trades of his personality before the wedding? If your chemistry is so amazing, what kind of hurt and time is he talking about? What is he talking about :0)? After reconciling not too long ago, what is causing the problem now? The old stuff?
Well, sometimes is difficult to have certain conversations. However is important to try solve a situation rather than avoid it, feeling unhappy in a relationship is an important matter. Before the actual conversation there is some preparation I suggest to follow and always have worked personally for me. First of all think why you feel unhappy. When you have solved that, think what would you like to get out of the conversation. Do you want to work things out or end the relationship, if you don’t know is alright. Now you should have: firstly, a reason why you feel unhappy. Secondly the impact on you so far which is the fact you feel unhappy and finally an aim, which is what you are aiming to get out of the conversation. All you need now is to be calm and clear with your boyfriend. From the moment when he will have a clear picture of what is going on, it will be easier for both of you.
Maybe you need to figure out why you lost your mojo, and where your love has gone. Maybe your husband needs to figure out why he felt the need to check into the hotel by himself and think about his life. Honestly, one of the best ways to explore these types of issues is to talk to a marriage counselor. Even if you don’t go together as husband and wife, it might be helpful to go yourself.
At the same time, my husband and I started working on PureCouples. We launched the website in 2016, and I started blogging about marriage and relationships more regularly. Blogging made me feel like I had something to contribute to the world beyond changing diapers and doing laundry. People across the world read my blog and found it helpful, and more importantly, I loved the feeling of satisfaction I got from writing. Writing made me feel like my world had clicked into place.
"In my job as a divorce mediator, often a spouse wants to tell me the whole backstory to their divorce. But I can tell you what really happened — in every divorce, someone (but usually both people) feels dismissed, discounted, disrespected, or devalued. These are major indicators of unhappiness." —Elinor Robin, PhD, Divorce Mediator with A Friendly Divorce in Gainesville, FL
Where and how do you start getting healthy and letting go? You try different things until you find what works for you. Maybe a marriage counseling program will help. Maybe you need to do something, such as changing your life — perhaps by moving to a different city, traveling, or getting individual counseling. Some people find physical spa treatments helpful, or alternative therapies such as reiki or energy healing.
Inevitably, there will be bumpy times in your relationship. If it has come to a point that you're not sure where to turn, try your hardest to make things right. This doesn't mean endlessly talk about what you should be doing, do it! Schedule the counseling session. If you truly love your husband and want to make things right, don't always expect him to make the first step.
But you did none of those things that my ex did. You tried. You talked to your boyfriend. You discussed these issues with him. You say you tried to get him to seek out help. I would’ve been so thankful if my ex had treated me like you treated yours. And I would’ve probably responded with positive changes. The fact that your ex didn’t, means you did the right thing by walking out. There’s only so much you can do to help your partner heal when they are not cooperating in any way. I wish you quick recovery and complete healing in getting through this post-breakup stage, which is indeed very hard.
Scientists have proved that a man is able to listen to a woman attentively for only 6 minutes. That’s why, ladies, the next time you plan to have a conversation with your beloved, keep it short. The topics on which it is very difficult for a man to concentrate are unfamiliar people, celebrities, shopping, fashion, and diets. If possible, it’s best to discuss these types of things with your friends.
If your husband stops displaying interest in you on a physical and emotional level, this can be a sign that he is unhappy. Consider some of the behavior patterns your husband used to display and compare them to the way things are now. If he no longer initiates intimate relations, or seems uninterested in talking to you about your day, then something has changed.
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Detach with love. Sometimes people are simply toxic by nature, a fact that often dawns on others around them only after time. Sometimes people refuse to take steps to make themselves feel better. As a result, sometimes you have to love them from a distance. This can be an intensely difficult decision, but sometimes it's the right one. Give yourself permission to entertain the thought and consider it seriously if consider it seriously you should.
If somehow this Five Point Plan fails to work for you, and I can’t imagine how it would, there may be some last ditch tools at your disposal. For example, introspecting about what it is in you and your upbringing that have gotten you to this place. Thinking about what you can do better as a partner and team player in the relationship. Leading with positivity and affection whenever remotely possible. And, of course, couples counseling.
"A change in habits is one of the first signs of relationship issues. It can indicate unhappiness, personal stress, even cheating — but it could also indicate a number of other things, so don't jump to conclusions. If there are any significant changes, discuss them with your partner to determine what's behind them." —Sarah E. Clark, licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship expert, and co-founder of Idealationship
When you say your "I dos," you're making each other your top priority above anything and anyone else. When you lose that essential part of your marriage, you can lose the person that once meant the world to you. If you're not making your husband a priority in your life anymore — or if he's not making you his — it's going to be really hard to stay a solid unit. Try going back to prioritizing your time together, each other's feelings, and each other's goals to get back into a healthy place before it's too late.